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Wrestling: Look at all These Lumberjacks!
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Survivor Series 2009 (November 22, 2009)
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[i]I gotta get skeddaddling to go watch the Dayton Flyers vie for the HIGHLY DESIRABLE Bronze Medal in the Puerto Rico Shoot-Out, but I'm also genuinely looking forward to wasting some time after the game on rasslin'. I'm surprised there hasn't been a thread for this yet, as if *I* have interest in a show, it stands to reason others have even more. But guess not. To jump start your dicussion tonight, here's the line-up/analysis I posted in Friday morning's OO column:[/i] It honestly feels like we've done nothing but tread water since SummerSlam, and the last time I genuinely felt like a PPV line-up was enticing and fresh goes back even farther than that. To somewhere in that strong post-Mania run of Backlash/Extreme Rules/Night of Champions.<br> <br>At least that finally changes on Sunday with Survivor Series. The two top titles are not necessarily on "fresh" champions (both Cena and Undertaker had already held their respective titles this year, prior to their current reigns), but they are finally being paired up with compelling new challengers, and in intrigue-laden 3-way storylines that mirror each other.<br> <br>That's good.<br> <br>And even though the "theme PPV" concept means WWE idiotically shot its "RAW vs. SmackDown Team Matches" wad at Bragging Rights (when Survivor Series was just ONE MONTH LATER), we're replacing the obvious and sensible brand-delineated elimination matches with a trio of crossbrand mash-ups featuring stars of all brands interacting with each other in unique ways.<br> <br>That's good, too. I mean, granted I would have prefered Bragging Rights never happen (or at least: that it happen during another part of the year far, far away from Survivor Series so you don't run into this problem), but as far as random 5-on-5 pairings go, WWE's done a pretty decent job setting us up for promising contests on Sunday.<br> <br>Coming from me: hey, I happen to think that's saying a lot. I'm a giant poopy-pantsed pessimist, and even I think Survivor Series' card has more going for it than any WWE PPV line-up in a long while. For your edification, here's a quick run-down of what to expect:<br> <br><span style="font-weight: bold;">John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H (WWE Title).</span> OK, so Randy Orton is shut out of any title rematches (per a stipulation at Bragging Rights), and Cena needs a new challenger. That part is awesome. So then, when two dipshit NASCAR nonlebrities are in charge of RAW, and are without a clue as to what to do, they take the advice of a magical leprechaun and decide to book HBK and HHH as CO-CHALLENGERS to Cena at Survivor Series. And yeah: that part is retarded beyond all belief, but it really is how it happened. Two NASCAR guys let a midget book a PPV main event. That said: it's a damned fine main event once you get past the awful and ham-handed deus ex machina... Cena/Michaels have been awesome together before; HHH/Michaels have been awesome before; Cena/HHH have... well, we can at least say they've been together before. The three together should be pretty damned good. The subtext here is that Cena's vascilating between thinking he's the victim of a 2-on-1 handicap match and thinking he can stir up trouble between HBK and HHH to create a pure three-way where he can win. But for their part, Michaels and Hunter made it clear that -- at least for one night -- DX is on vacation, and each of them wants to hold the gold. They've kept all this very low-key and non-confrontational, to the point where it was almost a boring lead-up to the PPV... all the more reason (for me) to think a well-masked heel turn is in the offing on Sunday, which would only add to the drama and excitement, as well as shake-up the title picture that's been Cena/Orton-centric for WAAAAYYYY too long. And HHH *did* just Pedigree a midget. Sayin' is all...<br> <br><span style="font-weight: bold;">Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show (World Title).</span> Taker smited CM Punk to solidify his hold on the strap, and Big Show was initially named as the #1 Contender... but then after NASCAR guys and midgets colluded to create a 3-way RAW Title Match at the PPV, Teddy Long decided to imitate them. Chris Jericho won a big match on SmackDown to earn that third spot, which mirrors DX's spot in a match against a dominant champ. Despite having Brand Hopping Rights, Show hasn't been seen much on SD (he's been off filming a movie, and only getting Mondays off to do TV; that'll end effective in December), leaving us with little to say about his motives here, other than the fact that he and Jericho have no lack of Prickly Heat between them, but that (as we saw at Bragging Rights and at times on RAW) they are able to easily set that aside in order to do good business. But here, with the Unified Tag Titles not on the line, "good business" no longer includes staying on the same page long enough to retain those belts and retain the valuable Brand Hopping Status. JeriShow can regroup to retain those titles at a later time (and much to the chagrin of fans just DYING for the break-up, I hope they do successfully retain, over and over again, till at least WrestleMania), but on Sunday, their "every man for himself" philosophy will be even more clear-cut than DX's. My guess: Jericho won't like it that way, however. Jericho/Taker has been more of a one-on-one feud on Friday nights, the start of a potentially very promising long-term feud between two men who'd never actually had a match against each other until just last week.... so when Jericho tries to man up against Taker again on Sunday, he'll look to Show to have his back, and it won't work out that way. Jericho falls into place as a pure heel, Taker as the pure face, and Show a match-long tweener. Just as with the RAW title match, there's the talent here to have a great contest, but even more potential for storytelling and drama given the personalities and credibility of all involved. I'm looking forward to this one.<br> <br><span style="font-weight: bold;">Team Orton (Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, CM Punk, William Regal) vs. Team Kingston (Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, Christian, R-Truth). </span>Easily the lesser of the cross-brand elimination matches in terms of overall talent/depth, this still rates as compelling because of the incredible breakout month Kofi has had feuding against the pleasantly-demoted Midcard Randy Orton. Kofi dropped the phoney accent and displayed a newfound charisma in a breakout promo 3 weeks ago, and then on Monday, showed the kind of intensity and connection-with-the-audience that you simply don't see every day in a <a href="http://www.oowrestling.com/recaps/raw/20091116.shtml">breakout moment at MSG</a>. Of the "add-ons" in this 5-on-5, Christian and Regal's ECW feud has been -- by far -- the most satisfying to watch over the past several months; the Punk/R-Truth "feud" is just weak-ass fodder that's allowing Punk to refocus after being trounced by Taker, and DiBiase/Rhodes vs. MVP/Henry is the very definition of channel-flip-inducing. But Orton/Kofi is so strong right now that that'll carry this match through the early stages where MVP/Henry/Truth need to be oustered quickly. [Damn me, always hatin' on the brothas.] Regal should probably not be long for this match, either. Then I see a couple options to best tell the Orton/Kofi story. With the caveat that Orton HAS to win here (he's been decimated by Kofi the past month), and in a way that sets up a one-on-one versus Kofi at the NEXT PPV (where they should seriously consider putting Kofi over), I'd vote for it coming down to Legacy vs. Kofi, 3-on-1. Then, Kofi still manages to rally to eliminate Rhodes/DiBiase (which will frustrate Orton, who stands by like a pussy, expecting others to do his dirty work; could jumpstart the rumored face turn(s) for DiBiase/Rhodes)... but after a long and grueling uphill battle, Kofi's got nothing left in the tank versus Orton in the 1-on-1, and Orton is the Sole Survivor. I'd dig that. Yes, people, I just outlined a way for Randall Orton to win a match and I'd LIKE it. See, I'm not so unreasonable.<br> <br><span style="font-weight: bold;">Team Morrison (John Morrison, Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay) vs. Team Miz (Miz, Jack Swagger, Sheamus, Drew McIntyre, Dolph Ziggler).</span> This lacks the sizzle of the other 5-on-5, but does feature a crapload of more flat-out in-ring talent. Could make for a perfect opener with tons of action and fast pace, which would warm up the fans before they have a chance to get annoyed that they're once again being subjected to Ziggler on a PPV. [Or, alternately: a bunch may have no idea who Drew McIntyre is, given SD's weekly ratings.] What's pretty nice here is that you have basically three separate issues holding these 10 together. One is that Miz and Morrison are the US and IC Champs, respectively, just 6 months removed from their run as perhaps the best tag team of the past 3 years; their little rivalry -- if done right -- is the sort of thing that'll have legs as its (SLOOOOWWWWWWLLY) portioned out over time in these cross-brand settings. Then: you have the standalone US Title picture, which includes Miz butting heads with Swagger (his teammate here) and sometimes with Evan Bourne involved. Interesting. And third, you have the IC Title picture, where Morrison's spent the better part of the past 2 months dealing with Ziggler. Some more interweaving to give us depth and layers beyond just Miz vs. Morrison. I like that; in the right hands, it's a license to print drama, what with all these warring agendas. Then on top of all that, you add in Shelton (because he rules, and if you want a spotfest, you do NOT exclude Mr. Benjamin), Sheamus and McIntyre (because both are very promising newcomers, each being given the super-badass intro treament on RAW and SD, respectively), and Matt and Finlay (uhhhh, just because their veterans who deserve the PPV payday? actually, both are quite solid and will fit in well, here). After Morrison bested Miz last month, I think (especially with both Sheamus and McIntyre backing him) Miz is due the Team Win here... you could even do a thing where Miz himself doesn't Survive (I'd make it part of a thing where Swagger mutinies, causes Miz to get eliminated, and then wins the match for himself), but later CLAIMS victory, because it WAS called "Team MIZ." Maybe even a semi-Owen-Hart-Homage to Survivor Series '93, where Miz is the ONLY guy on his team to get eliminated, but since it was "his" team, he still claims victory and gets mega-pissy at his partners (in this case: Swagger) for claiming a victory that's really his....<br> <br><span style="font-weight: bold;">Rey Mysterio vs. Batista.</span> Finally. The Batista heel turn we've been begging for for almost 4 years. They didn't do it when it'd have made sense, either because Batista couldn't stay healthy long enough to set it up or because they honestly thought everything was fine with Batista's character, but it's finally here. The premise is that Rey and Batista were both in a 4-way World Title match last month, and Batista thinks Rey got in the way of Batista winning... and Batista's had just about enough of that happy crappy. Since the initial turn, I've been finding Batista to actually be the more compelling character, as Rey is all "What happened to you, bro?" and whiny and stuff. They've overplayed it a bit, too, with dramatic sit-down interviews and stuff (and a few overtones of Eddie Guerrero); oddly, that's a slice of "real" (Rey and Batista were both great friends with Eddie who became great friends with each other as a result) that somehow comes off as stilted and melodramatic now that we see it playing out in these segments. Through all that, though, the "new" Batista is still pretty fun. Because he's the OLD Batista, in a way. The Evolution Batista who effortlessly out-shone Randy Orton and forced WWE to change the WM21 main event as a result. The Batista I dubbed "The Logical Monster." He observes. He decides. He tells you exactly what's gonna happen. Then it happens. Nothing loud and shouty. Just well-executed ultraviolence after careful consideration. I fully expect a Batista win here, which sets him up to go after Taker; that way, Taker can be relieved of the World Title by somebody WWE "trusts" (unlike Punk, apparently), and move onto his next big thing to set up WrestleMania and The Streak (most believe it'll either be versus Cena or versus Jericho).<br> <br><span style="font-weight: bold;">Team McCool (Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Layla, Alicia Fox) vs. Team Mickie (Mickie James, Melina, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres). </span>Unlike the guy's matches, there isn't so much in the way of interwoven feuding going on here. The basic story is that Michelle is the Women's Champ on SD, but newly-assigned-to-SD Mickie James believes that'll be temporary until SHE gets a shot. So their two teams here are basically an outgrowth of their power struggle, and were assembled according to strict face/heel lines without much other consideration. The interesting thing here: McCool is the Womens Champ on SD and kvetching with Mickie, but it's BETH who is currently the most dominant woman on that brand. Meantime, Mickie is the team captain, but the Diva Champ (from RAW) is Melina. Melina and Beth as over-looked "lackeys" could be an interesting subtext here. As if WWE would ever care about even NORMAL text in a women's match, much less subtext.... but I'm trying to put a happy face on this one, people. [i]Apologies for the wonky formatting. I guess that's what happens when you mix HTML with BB Code. Anyway, feel free to pile on with your own predictions now that you've seen my thoughts, and of course, real-time and post-show thoughts are not just welcome; they are encouraged.[/i] Rick
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Wrestling: Look at all These Lumberjacks!
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Survivor Series 2009 (November 22, 2009)
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