Tonight on RAW: no planned matches/segments have been announced, but it is known that tonight is an "all hands on deck" edition of RAW, with
all of the WM Stunt Cast (Taker, Lesnar, Shane, Vince, HHH, possibly Jonathan Coachman to set up "WrestleMania Week" on ESPN, and maybe even a cameo
from John Cena, who is also in NYC today) present and able to put the finishing touches on their respective storylines for Sunday.... no resorting to
10 minutes worth of pre-packaged video fluffery tonight!
With the Undertaker's career now on the line, and with the IC Ladder Match finally made, it seems WWE has the final card set, so there
shouldn't be much in the way of jaw dropping surprises.... maybe a few more official entrants for the Andre Battle Royale, and two celebrity
inductees for the HoF (Joan Lunden as the "Warrior Award" winner, and Snoop Dogg for the celebrity wing, which also means he could show up with Sasha
the next day at Mania, too)... but otherwise, it's a night that just has to service the line-up that we already know about:
Usos vs. Dudley (Pre-show, Golden Truth may be invovled somehow)
Andre Battle Royale (Pre-show, Cesaro is a past winner, and is already scheduled to return to action the week after WM, but much like
currently-hobbled Big Show, he could partake in a Battle Royale where he doesn't have to do a whole lot)
Kalisto vs. Ryback (US Title)
Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks (Women's Title)
New Day vs. League of Nations (4-on-3 Match)
AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho (Old Fashioned Grudge Match)
Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Zack Ryder (IC Title Ladder Match)
Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar (No Holds Barred Street Fight)
Shane McMahon vs. the Undertaker (Cell Match; Control of RAW and Taker's Career BOTH on the Line)
Triple H vs. Roman Reigns (WWE Title Match)
For me, the likeliest areas to explore tonight would be (1) getting Taker's response to Vince's added stipulation about his career on the
line (it's added motivation for Taker to win, but also a new wrinkle that might lead to him wanting to screw with Vince), (2) actual significant
in-ring action featuring the participants in the IC Title match, ending again with somebody not-Owens standing tall (like Ryder's unexpected
"win" on SD), and (3) a non-title singles match between Becky and Charlotte, with Becky winning (as the obvious counterpoint to Sasha's singles
win over Charlotte on SD)....
Not sure what, if anything, can be done about HHH/Reigns that won't just backfire spectacularly (especially since tonight is in Brooklyn), but
last week, the idea seemed to be to limit the screen time for both men, and hope the insubordination wouldn't be TOO audible.... Reigns said
about 3 sentences, and HHH was visible for about 45 seconds, something that may or may not be feasible for a second week in a row (unless they have
absolutely decided on demoting the World Title Match to mid-PPV, using HiaC as the main event)...
I believe that is all. End communication.
The flOOr is yours, OO Nation. Don't wait till after 11pm to post, either. Pre-show previewing and prognosticating is certainly welcome.
So discuss, debate, and rate!
I'm not sure yet whether I'm comforted or terrified at the thought that all they have to do is top this from last years go-home show:
Deadman to start things off. No, not Reigns smrt guys.
ETA: BAH GAWD, TAKER'S BROKEN IN HALF!!!
[Edited on 3-29-2016 by janerd75]
THAT was an opening segment. Here's hoping they can keep this type of momentum going for the rest of the night.
Shane with the holy shit elbow! Yes! And then Taker with the no-selling buzzkill. Boooooo.
So when do we start wildly speculating and namecalling over what match is going on last at 'Mania?
EDIT: AJ has been doing a LOT better on the mic than I thought he would. Still ecstatic to have dickweed heel Jericho back instead of dillhole face
Jericho. Still, though, somebody needs to get him some pants. A decent pair of paaaants.
[Edited on 3/29/2016 by CM Crunk]
quote:
Originally posted by CM Crunk
So when do we start wildly speculating and namecalling over what match is going on last at 'Mania?
quote:
Originally posted by Count Zero
quote:
Originally posted by CM Crunk
So when do we start wildly speculating and namecalling over what match is going on last at 'Mania?
Divas match main event, you bloody vulgarian!
Brooklyn with premature "holy shit" & this is awesome. Wait til they do something.
Finally it was earned.
2 for 2 so far segment-wise. Everyone seems to be fired up and bringing their A-game. And when was the last time Zack Ryder scored a pinfall on Raw?
That was Mirror Universe Zack Ryder, as you could no doubt tell from the facial hair (even though it's not the Evil Goatee, the ZR we all know
and watched grow up on youtubes is clean-shaven). He wins ALL the time on MirrorU Night Raw. I think he's up to 17-time Heavyweight Champ in
the MirrorUWWE. 
Being curious, I was led to www.profightdb.com where I learned Ryder's last pinfall win on Raw was over Fandango back on July 21, 2014. Assuming I didn't miss something, anyway.
WHOA. Shane just called Vince on stealing the company from Vince Sr. Now I know that was all scripted out but it certainly did look like it stung a
bit.
Oh, and how long has Vince been unable to pronounce "doubleyoudoubleyouwee"? It's almost like Schwarzenegger trying to pronounce "California" or
that jackass at work who says "eck-sure-size" instead of "exercise." Fuck you Danny, it's not a hard word to pronounce.
ETA: 3 years in and the Andre statue still looks like it was sculpted out of butter. Bo Dallas too.
[Edited on 3/29/2016 by CM Crunk]
Wikipedia (and MAGGLE!) confirmed: Today would've been Mr. Perfect's birthday, and he would've been a Perfect 57 years old. My god,
it's been thirteen years already. 
eta: And while we're shedding tears for lost Perfection, TONIGHT! AFTER RAW! Getcher Kleenex Ready! The Daniel Bryan Farewell Special..
And now! StepHHH and Roman face off!!!
[Edited on 3-29-2016 by Count Zero]
Triple H was so obsessed from day one, he was able to peer into the future and see that eventually WWF would become WWE. /pedantry
Roman Punch: BOO!
Haitch Punch: YAY!
Oy. 
It's Roman ReBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
quote:You deserve a cupcake for paying that much attention to that Snidely Whiplashesque hot garbahj.
Originally posted by Il Palazzo
Triple H was so obsessed from day one, he was able to peer into the future and see that eventually WWF would become WWE. /pedantry
Roman turns everything to hot garbahj! It's all about the Game, and how you can eat his head. Doesn't rhyme very well!
~I keep seeing that and thinking "Roman ReBoot." Maybe crowds will cheer him more easily if he were animated with early CGI and/or Canadian.
[Edited on 3-29-2016 by Il Palazzo]
quote:
Originally posted by janerd75
Roman Punch: BOO!
Haitch Punch: YAY!
Oy.
Booty-Os cereal is more over than the guy main eventing Wrestlemania.
My second idea for improving the crowd reaction to Reigns: present him inside of a fake cereal box. Or put a shirt inside him.
quote:
Originally posted by punkerhardcore
Booty-Os cereal is more over than the guy main eventing Wrestlemania.
quote:
Originally posted by punkerhardcore
Booty-Os cereal is more over than the guy main eventing Wrestlemania.
quote:Are you implying that he's bumping up against the glass cereal, and can't break through?
Originally posted by janerd75
It...it's not his fault.
quote:
Originally posted by janerd75
Roman Punch: BOO!
Haitch Punch: YAY!
Oy.
Lillian announced Kofi as from Ghana, West Africa. Is that new?
quote:
Originally posted by merc
Lillian announced Kofi as from Ghana, West Africa. Is that new?
Yup. Even =I= have noticed the Ghana thing long before this.
And Lol Coach.
Please welcome my guest, Roman ReBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
What's the old idiom, "a picture is worth a thousand words"?
I'm fine giving Kalisto some wins, but did they really need to basically job out the entire Ascension? I mean.... yeah, they did, because whatever. But still! Somewhere out there is a universe where they DIDN'T get buried almost from the start, and it's probably not bad.
quote:
Originally posted by CM Crunk
What's the old idiom, "a picture is worth a thousand words"?
(Though I am
still mildly confused, because Merc's avatar isn't hosted on https, but I have been able to see it all along. Oh wells.) 
Dean totally missed the stop sign and cookie sheet. Pfffff.
Dean Ambrose just gave the best silent promo since that time Y2J just kept not-talking.
He really IS teflon Dean. 
Eta: EEvvvil Emma is... HAWT. Double
[Edited on 3-29-2016 by Count Zero]
quote:
Originally posted by Count Zero
Eta: EEvvvil Emma is... HAWT. Double
[Edited on 3-29-2016 by Count Zero]
My first thought when the music hit was "is this an exciting debut???" Heh.
The only person to get booed as much as Roman? Eva f'n Marie. 
It's Eva MarBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
May as well make her Roman's valet and go full retard.
So is Miz walking out predictable, inevitable, or anvillicious?
Stardust should hiss at people, like Toecutter did in the very first Mad Max movie. Of squeal, like Beetlejuice did in Beetlejuice.
" you might think it's funny but it SNOT!" R Truth
Merc is tecnoidiot. Here is where my AV sits (if it helps) http://i.picresize.com/images/2015/07/19/qlj4.jpg
9 years has he been around that long? ...Kofi was Jamacian...even though he's from MA and graduated from Boston College (one of our
nation's finer institutions). I had never heard the Ghana intro. 
quote:
Originally posted by Paddlefoot
Stardust should hiss at people, like Toecutter did in the very first Mad Max movie. Of squeal, like Beetlejuice did in Beetlejuice.
quote:
Originally posted by merc
9 years has he been around that long? ...Kofi was Jamacian...even though he's from MA and graduated from Boston College (one of our nation's finer institutions). I had never heard the Ghana intro.
quote:For possibly the best non-janerd-related use of "full retard" that I've seen in a loooong, long time, you win the Rainbow Horn. It too went full 'tard, but mostly on Cloud Daiquiris.
Originally posted by DKBroiler
It's Eva MarBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
May as well make her Roman's valet and go full retard.
quote:
Originally posted by Count Zero
quote:
Originally posted by CM Crunk
What's the old idiom, "a picture is worth a thousand words"?
You, sir, just accidentally helped me solve my images problem. It was related to http/https links. I can see anything that's https://etc, but the things that are not were not getting through my "Privacy Badger" add-on.
I must find a prize for you, but it will have to wait. I'm eating a brownie right now and it is goddamned delicious. Would you like anything in particular?
[Edited again, later on 3-29-2016, to add]
Hopefully this is a suitable reward.
[Edited on 3-29-2016 by Count Zero]
And they think a main event Stephh promo will get the Title Match more over?
More like "show over", amirite? 
[Edited on 3-29-2016 by Count Zero]
I'm continually amused by how much Undertaker is slowly becoming Jonathan Banks. If it made any sense to do so, it'd be great if once Taker retires from active wrestling if he just became WWE's Mike Ehrmantraut. Actually, that would manage to make perfect sense if WWE were more like Lucha Underground.
quote:
Originally posted by Count Zero
I seem to have janerditis tonight, with all these pictures in my posts.
^^^ also describes that final segment?
Poor poor Samoan Joe. He finally gets a decent pop for that sweet plancha, but is immediately showered with "YOU STILL SUCK!" 
If it wasn't for the fact that I know WrestleMania is this weekend, I'd almost say that this ending could easily be buildup for any PPV.
Now to begin my own ridiculous booking of Sunday's title match finish where WWE tries to build off of The Walking Dead's finale by having
either Triple H brain Reigns with his sledgehammer, or Sting returns, reveals he's 100% healthy, and brains Reigns with his bat. Or Ambrose shows
up and brains Reigns with his barbed wire bat for a more accurate finish. Head trauma for everyone!
Boy, that final segment really sold me on Triple H/Reigns!
Though I will say this: I am legit looking forward to the match just for the crowd reaction. If tonight was any indication, we could be in for a nice,
entertaining shitstorm of Brock/Goldberg levels of heat come Sunday.
Which almost makes me think that the WWE is going to call an audible and have some kind of surprise/swerve in the match, because I just can't see
this going by the numbers, with Reigns winning the title and then celebrating while confetti and fireworks go off. Whether it's Reigns turning
heel or Shawn Michaels doing a run-in or Steve Austin coming out and running over Reigns with his four-wheeler...I think even WWE creative is smart
enough at this point to know Triple H vs Reigns "as is" just ain't gonna work.
Team "Total Twat" for the win? Now with 100% more Evil Marie....
Second week in a row, I slept through more than half of Raw. Of course, I woke up to Eva Marie's entrance and just about every recap...
The week before Wrestlemania and I am literally being bored to sleep. Maybe it's time to stop my decades long rasslin' obsession.
quote:
Originally posted by Laruecifer
Maybe it's time to stop my decades long rasslin' obsession.
via GIPHY
quote:
Originally posted by Count Zero
quote:For possibly the best non-janerd-related use of "full retard" that I've seen in a loooong, long time, you win the Rainbow Horn. It too went full 'tard, but mostly on Cloud Daiquiris.
Originally posted by DKBroiler
It's Eva MarBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
May as well make her Roman's valet and go full retard.
Very honorable mention goes to the suggestion of putting Roman in a Box, or filling him with T-shirts. But Palazzo got cupHHHcakes for that, and I feel like spreading the joy around. I seem to have janerditis tonight, with all these pictures in my posts.
The New Day played La Cucaracha on the trombone.....nothing else needs to be said other than.....GENIUS!!!!
quote:
Originally posted by Frank Lloyd Wright
The New Day played La Cucaracha on the trombone.....nothing else needs to be said other than.....GENIUS!!!!
quote:
Originally posted by DKBroiler
Thanks Count! I'll put your unicorn award on my virtual OO trophy case right next to my 2nd place d-bag of the year award from 2008. It feels good to be a winner again!
quote:
Originally posted by the goon
Though I will say this: I am legit looking forward to the match just for the crowd reaction. If tonight was any indication, we could be in for a nice, entertaining shitstorm of Brock/Goldberg levels of heat come Sunday.