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posted on 8-30-2012 at 12:26 AM
Main Card
Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie & Matt Striker
MADNESS! Insanity! Live in profanity! Then some punk claiming they�re understanding me!?!? Just like the Mass Transit incident that nearly sunk
Original ECW - resulting in several PPV providers dropping their card� just like the Original UFC banned from American airwaves due to excessive
violence� the �Rob Black feeds a puppy to a snake LIVE ON TV� stunt has resulted in severe repercussions for XPW Remixed� Massive fines, loss of
television markets� and BANNED from the PPV airwaves! PULLED from PPV at the last moment! But due to a deluge of fan outcry, something has been
salvaged from the controversial mess� a list minute change to iPPV - the broadcast transmission of the future, beaming our show directly to your
phone, laptop, internet TV or wireless device� so dedicated fans won�t miss a moment of the action�
We are broadcasting LIVE from an undisclosed location in Los Angeles California, where XPW Remixed continues to set the wrestling world ablaze! All
pub is good pub and �controversy creates cash� is the mantra for the evening, as absolute chaos is gripping XPW Remixed from top to bottom� TONIGHT -
the XPW World championship is on the line in a 4-way HELL IN A CELL match! The so-called �greatest tag team in history� the Dudley Boyz have arrived
in XPW Remixed to challenge that notion and tackle the Fabulous Kangaroos for their tag team titles� mystery challenges abound (RVD and Awesome Kong
have promised title defenses this evening)� and the fate of an Xtreme nation rests in the balance when East Coast CZWO leader ZANDIG defends his
KotDM title against West Coast Cannibal Cartel founder KILO� All that and MORE as XPW Remixed continues to do DAMAGE!
DAMAGE to the fantasy wrestling spectrum!
DAMAGE to the muthaphuckkin Territory Wars!
DAMAGE unto thyself!!
** DARK MATCH **
Jinder Mahal, Ad Santel & Mark Henry
defeated
Great Gama, MIZ & Ruckus (Postmatch the MOVEMENT led by Rashad Cameron attacked the good guys and gave their salute)
TAZ (2000) versus� MIL MASCARAS (1975)!! (Impromptu Challenge)
versus
The path of rage continues with this live PPV interruption� enter TAZ 2000 - on top of his game with a fantasy wrestling hit list a mile long in his
rearview window� culminating most recently with his choke-out attack on XPW Commissioner William Muldoon (see XPW TV Episode #50)� Taz has his
self-proclaimed �FTW� title belt, a microphone and a huge chip on his shoulder - more NY-flavored tuff tawk including a few blatant, unedited FUCK
YOUZE tossed towards the WWF - until his ring-hijacking call for an open challenge is finally answered by Commissioner Muldoon! Big cheers for the
last cowboy of the Wild West who still has a few slugs left in the chamber� tonight Taz gets his wish for sanctioned competition - when he faces
Muldoon ace, Olympia member, returning International superstar - MIL MASCARAS (1975)! He gets the triumphant entrance - fireworks - dual masks -
streamers tossed across the ring by overeager fans� Mascaras and Taz engage in a stiff, brutish exchange that finds nobody really wanting to sell for
each other - until a crushing T-Bone Taz-plex FORCES Mascaras to stay down� Taz actually maneuvers Mascaras into near-Tazmission-position, but makes
the classic mistake of going for the Mexican superstars mask and not the victory� hoping to strip Mascaras of his mask, honor and respect all in one
fell swoop - Taz loses his grip - falls prey to a dazzling Mascaras counter-reversal roll-up that suddenly thrusts this shoulders onto the mat� and
1! 2! 3! Mascaras earns the win and immediately slides out of the ring into the safety of the fans embrace! Taz is IRATE and the look of shock and
outrage is apparent� meanwhile, Commissioner Muldoon gets the last laugh backstage�
Winner: MIL MASCARAS
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE INTRO **
Intrepid explorer and backstage correspondent MSD to get a hurried word with XPW Remixed president Ed �Strangler� Lewis (in between shuttling to
shareholder meetings)� XPW Remixed has lost sponsorships, viewers, faith, good taste and even their coveted PPV timeslot! What is Lewis going to do
in response to Rob Black�s tasteless ratings stunt on XPW TV Episode #50! Lewis assures us the matter will be dealt with - tonight� Gold Dust Trio
Inc (the parent company of XPW Remixed) will all be on the same page by the end of this evening� come hell or high water�
AWESOME KONG (2010) � versus� TRISH STRATUS (2006)!!
versus..
Another �Summer of War� chapter comes to a close tonight - as the women of XPW Remixed get a chance to shine� first - SUNNY opens the segment as
guest ring announcer.. But she�s quickly interrupted by LIZZY BORDEN� the bitchy Borden thinks that just because her man Shane Douglas is a champion
in XPW Remixed it gives her the right to rudely dismiss Sunny and assume her duties - instead it leads to a clothes-tearing cat fight between Sunny &
Lizzy Borden (with requisite �show your tits!� and �XPW! XPW!� chants)� finally - Awesome Kong�s ominous theme song plays and she makes her entrance
- at the behest of the evil Borden, Awesome Kong attacks the untrained Sunny and quickly manhandles her� Implant Buster to Sunny & Lizzy Borden
arrogantly counts the pinfall herself� she then grabs a house mic and brazenly taunts the rest of the Territory Wars and women of XPW Remixed�
Awesome Kong is the most dominant force� she�s the greatest female wrestler in history� nobody can challenge her� until Awesome Kong�s OWN theme
song starts playing again, heralding the arrival of a mystery guest (?)� it looks like RAISHA SAEED! The masked former handler to Kong! She turns
all eyes towards her on the entrance ramp, and makes threatening gestures to Awesome Kong� but it�s all just a set-up� suddenly - from the crowd area
- a savior strikes!
It�s TRISH STRATUS! She forearm shivers Lizzy Borden out of the ring - does some quick, high-flying strikes and a chick kick to Awesome Kong�s head!
Flying bulldog off the ropes! 1!.. 2!.. NO Awesome Kong kickouts! WOW everybody thought that was the finish! Instead, now we get a chance to
register our shock and surprise (as Matt Striker marks out on commentary) over the arrival of TRISH STRATUS in XPW Remixed! She takes over on
offense, but is quickly out-sized and suddenly - the Awesome Kong script continues unabated� she puts a beating on Trish Stratus, really ratcheting
up the crowd sympathy� she unloads the sequence of moves that folded names like Sable, Chyna, Nattie Neidhart & Wendi Richter in the past� but this
time, Trish Stratus pulls off a last ditch Implant Buster reversal - getting ANOTHER close 2-count off the victory roll! Now Lizzy Borden (still at
ringside for Kong) - decides to get involved and grabs a steel chair� but instead - RAISHA SAEED is back! She hits Lizzy Borden with a steel chair
and slides the weapon in the ring! Trish Stratus hits another flying bulldog to Kong - this time on the steel chair! 1!.. 2!.. 3!! OMG TRISH HAS
DONE IT! She�s pinned Awesome Kong! Trish Stratus has ended Kong�s reign of terror! Trish celebrates with her fans (going WILD over the victory)�
Awesome Kong displays bugged out, shocked facial expressions� cameras dart backstage, where the masked Raisha Saeed is spotted backstage ripping off
her garments to reveal black-and-red cheerleader colors� she throws a smirk over her shoulder and it�s� Melissa Anderson?? She quickly gets into a
limo with a license place that reads �ROH 1� and zooms off, while the party for Trish Stratus continues in the ring� we have a new XPW Remixed
Woman�s champion!!
Winner (and NEW XPW Remixed Woman�s champion): TRISH STRATUS
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
MSD tries to get into Black Army offices, but is blocked by Jack Pfefer (about to enter the room himself)� the legal bloodhound Jack Pfefer
reminds us Rob Black cannot simply be ousted from his position within the GDT Inc hierarchy, and if anybody wants to test that they can� Rob Black
has survived usurpation, denouncement and incarceration before (see �real life�) which makes him a martyr (in the perverted Larry Flynt sense)!! If
anybody wants war then the BLACK ARMY will bring war! Stay tuned to the �Slaughtahouse Stampede� match and upcoming KotDM for a shining example�
PHIL �GUNNER� SHATTER & JESSICA DARLIN
versus
SABLE (1998) & ANNIE SOCIAL (2010) (Intergender match)
versus
Another controversial XPW angle (therefore a brain-child of Rob Black), with sinister and violent undertones... Phil �Gunner� Shatter & Jessica Darlin
are like Randy Savage and Ms Elizabeith� If she were a porn star with a fetish for hardcore anal sex... Their angle with Sable and Social is
reminiscent of stuff like Sable vs Marc Mero, Sara del Ray vs Icharus or Jeff Jarrett and Shane Douglas at their sexist, woman beating finest...
Because this is the kind of stuff that will �draw ratings�� �Cops�, �Jerry Springer�, �Real Housewives� type shit� God Bless America! On commentary
we are alerted to the presence of several state athletic commissioners at ringside (another heavily sanctioned caveat required for XPW Remixed to host
it�s show tonight)�. In action Gunner is the threatening, brute presence - looming just on the peripheral� he taunts, teases and antagonizes the
girls but takes no individual action� yet� meanwhile the early story involves the one-upsmanship rivalry taking place between teammates Sable (1998)
and Annie Social (2010)� theyir history is reviewed (see Sable�s debut at �Give Me Liberty or Death�) and the girls take turns brutalizing the
untrained Jessica Darlin with unrestrained strikes, blows and power moves (rudely blind-tagging each other back in to have the last word)�
But the two rivals stand united when Gunner gets the climatic tag and begins to slowly batter the girls... it quickly becomes a disturbing scene�
body slams, shoulder blocks and even a �pump-action� pump handle slam� but he slips up by directing Jessica Darlin to perform a stink face on a
turnbuckle-bound Sable, and takes his eyes off Annie Social� only to eat a trash can lid right between the eyes from her in response! He no-sells
the shot and grabs Social by her hair and prepares to plunge her between his legs in piledriver position! Instead - she willingly drops to her knees
- and LOWBLOWS him! Sable reverses Jessica Darlin�s stink face attempt in the corner and unloads a series of huge KO kicks!
With Darlin eliminated again, the two girls begin a quick double-team barrage on the stunned Gunner� Total elimination (Sable sweep kick - Annie
Social spin kick)! Double DDT! In the climatic moment - double suplex (onto the trash can lid)! Sable & Annie Social split up to briefly bathe in
the fans adulation - and there you see it in their eyes� no love lost (jealousy from Social?) Egomaniacal indifference from Sable? Either way -
Jessica Darlin tries one last weak attempt at a run-in, wielding a trash can lid like a small child might a Frisbee - only to be quickly disarmed and
BANGED in the head by Annie Social! The trash can lid goes off like a gunshot and elicits an immediate �OOOOO� from the audience� but just as
quickly - Annie Social wheels around with the same trash can lid and BANGS her partner Sable in the head! �OOOOOO!�� Annie Social just looks down at
the unconscious Sable with a silent mix of stoicism, reminiscent of HBK�s surprise super kick to Hulk Hogan in the build to their Summerslam 05 match�
Annie Social drops the trash can lid harmlessly to the mat, and slides out of the ring and bounces back up the aisle - half the fans cheering her
rabid, Killadelphia �death B4 dishonor� style - the other half booing her cold-hearted betrayal�
Meanwhile an angry (and recuperated) Gunner shows no mercy and ruthlessly F5�s Sable in the middle of the ring� picking up the pinfall while licking
his lips and leering for the cameras� post match he and Jessica Darlin revel in a clothes-stripping humiliation in which Gunner holds Sable prone and
Darlin strips her to her bra and panties� the commentators are aghast (Striker titillated) and there�s nobody to stop the madness� the �state
athletic commissioners� stationed ringside appeared to be nothing more than highly-compensated scenery�
SHANE DOUGLAS � (w/ Lizzy Borden) versus HUMAN TORNADO
w/
versus
As is customary, Douglas & Borden open the segment with a worked shoot - targeting all the �haters & perpetrators� and touting his Revolution as a
game changing force� that segues into Douglas painting himself as some sort of veteran savior looking to lead a pack of hungry up-and-comers to the
promised land (sort of like the angry mentor role he took on in TNA)� his first recruitment bid goes to his opponent tonight, HUMAN TORNADO! Cue
pimp strut entrance that�s part Flash Funk / part Funkasaurous - all pimpin� after some microphone banter we get the inevitable DECLINE on behalf of
Tornado - PIMP SLAM to Borden (that�s more stinging and humiliating than anything else) - and juke-n-jiving, baby face offense from Human Tornado that
has the crowd rocking! A huge suicide dive from Tornado lands both men in the first row of fans and the wild brawl continues in earnest� obligatory
�brawl through the crowd� spot here as they even move into a bar area, and Tornado gets to do some R-rated routines with liquor bottles and bar stools
that really get over� back into the ring and Douglas has an offense run before Tornado makes the baby face comeback - NO-SELLS another low blow
attempt from Borden (hasn�t she learned yet that the man has balls of STEEL?!?) - only to outwitted by the veteran Douglas and crushed with a
Pittsburgh Plunge for the (relatively) clean finish!? The air was compressed from the crowd just like Human Tornado�s lungs with that move� Shane
Douglas goes over clean - and says the �revolution� isn�t over in XPW Remixed� it�s just begun!
Winner (and STILL XPW Boston champion): SHANE DOUGLAS
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
MSD finally catches up with XPW Remixed VP Joseph �Toots� Mondt for his take on the whole ratings fiasco on XPW TV Episode #50 - but finds Mr Mondt
strangely calm and collected� he�s also surrounded himself with a bevy of well-dressed, suit-and-tie, crippling shooters (like former Pfefer henchmen
and returning German Dick Shikat and DINO BRAVO!) Added muscle, but for what exactly? Mondt won�t say and is very coy in his response but it�s clear
that Mister Mondt is a gambling man and the spread on tonight�s main event alone is enough to make him very happy� regardless of what anybody does to
try to sink the ship, Mondt assures us he has all his ducks in a row� is he talking bailout money? What about the rumors that Mondt purposely pushed
Rob Black to his psychological breaking point? Mondt just lays a meaty hand on MSD�s shoulder and smiles in his face� chilling him to the bone.
Mondt & crew leave for the bowels of the arena to check their gate receipts and keep an open line with the Las Vegas line makers and bookies�
ROB VAN DAM � versus GORGEOUS GEORGE (�Title versus HAIR match�)
versus
Starts with backstage segment of Commissioner Muldoon reviewing the TV title rankings and surveying the tweets, texts and votes from the interactive
voting audience� he is ready to reveal the contender for the night when he gets a last-minute, desperation plea from Gorgeous George (and legal
advisor David Otunga)� it breaks down with hilarious Abbot & Costello-styled banter between Gorgeous George & Otunga before none other than reigning
TV champion RVD enters the scene and turns it into a Cheech & Chong outtake!! RVD seeks revenge for the Focus attack upon him anyways, but doesn�t
mind seeing Gorgeous George squirm on the hook in the meantime� Commissioner Muldoon keeps turning down all Gorgeous George�s desperate antics (even
offering up Focus showgirl GG as well)! Nothing means more to Gorgeous George than the TV title! NOTHING! Oh yeah? RVD comes up with a great idea
- the live crowd and Muldoon love it (and you can tell it�s a great idea by the look of abject HORROR upon Gorgeous George�s face) - and finally it�s
agreed� Gorgeous George will put up the one thing that means the most to him in return for one final TV title match� HIS HAIR! Not surprisingly,
the two timeline rivals display great chemistry (having matched up several times prior in XPW Remixed canon)� this match is a culmination in their
great trilogy that some critics will certainly say was more �entertainment� than �sportz�, but brings the heat regardless� Gorgeous George loses of
course, especially after Commissioner Muldoon foils Otunga�s last ditch interference attempt - and we get the greatest of all Gorgeous George
sacrifices - shave and a haircut, two bits! After being crushed with a Five-Star frogsplash (and having his annoying mouthpiece David Otunga finally
socked in his by Muldoon) - Gorgeous George is restrained - slathered with shaving cream - and sheared bald! Crowd loves it, Gorgeous George hates
it, and RVD 4:20 rides high again�
Winner (and STILL XPW Remixed TV champion): ROB VAN DAM
Backstage promos from the Dudley Boyz (who are gracious to be in XPW Remixed) and the Fabulous Kangaroos who have now done an about face to drop
their sarcastic "we love America" schtick to claim the opposite - American's are classless and inferior! They're doing the Bret Hart
Canada 1997 thing all over again, except with Australia... a strong jingoistic vibe permeates this entire match...
** CUT TO RING **
** XPW Remixed Tag Team titles **
FABULOUS KANGAROOS (1960) � w/ Wild Red Berry
versus
DUDLEY BOYZ (2009)
w/
versus
The Fabulous Kangaroos rise to championship glory in XPW Remixed is recapped - and we get a wordy, pre-match promo from the manager �wild� red berry
who finds it absolutely despicable that be forced to compete tonight against an opponent with a 0-0 record in XPW Remixed competition� but the Dudley
Boyz credentials stand on their own and everybody knows the deal� many have likened the arrival of the Dudz to XPW Remixed like the original LOD in
WWF 1990... Which would in turn make the Fabulous Kangaroos the �Demolition� sitting ducks� and that certainly seems to be the case early in the
match, as the Dudley Boyz simply hammer Costello & Heffernan for the appreciative audience (even busting open both FabKangs in the process)� FabKangs
have co-opted many of the Dudleyz moves in their millennial fantasy wrestling run - almost in preparation for a match in this magnitude - but a little
well-timed shenanigans and veteran cunning quickly turns the tables (pun intended) and the FabKangs start making the Dudley Boyz look like wannabes�
like most heels however, they are outdone by their own egos� after denying the fans chants of �WE WANT TABLES� by stopping the Dudz every time they
went for one - the FabKangs instead tried to do their OWN table spot - only to be outmaneuvered, countered (including a �WHAASUPPPP??� flying head
butt) and finally - and climatically - finished with the REAL 3D - Dudley Death Drop - for the pinfall! 1!.. 2!.. 3! We have new champions! Crowd
pop is explosive - the FabKangs are defeated - huge �USA!� chants break out, and Bubba-Ray Dudley is draped with an American flag by an appreciative
audience member� Post match (amidst the confetti & pyro display) - Wild Red Berry is the one who finally goes through the table - eating a 3D of his
own that leaves him twitching and shaking�
Winners (and NEW XPW Remixed tag team champions): DUDLEY BOYZ
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
MSD chases down the elusive Robert Black for some words - but Black is hurried and in mood to speak at length� he gives MSD a few words on the run
claiming he has big responsibilities to tend to right now - chiefly the upcoming Slaughtahouse Stampede match and KotDM title� MSD follows Rob Black
right to the doors of his office, where we see Kevin Sullivan, Dean Ambrose & Onita already waiting for him� but sitting in his office chair is JACK
PFEFER - who has already been discussing something prior to the arrival of Black (along with MSD and camera crew)� they go silent and stare at the
intrusion, and even Rob Black feels a tinge of awkwardness� none the less he slips back into his gruff bluster and dismisses MSD and crew from the
room before slamming the office door shut� what was Jack Pfefer discussing with the Army inner sanctum? And why did they stop when Black arrived?
1) Dean Ambrose (Black Army centerpiece was forced to go #1 as part of a Commissioner Muldoon-handed-down punishment for their actions on XPW TV Episode
#50)
2) New Jack (For the 2nd year in a row - the OG of Xtreme enters second - with his trash can of weapons to get this party started)
3) Necro Butcher (The "new and improved", shaved-head, non-hardcore version - at first he's just gonna show up to collect his PPV check and leave - until
New Jack physically draws and corners him into combat..)
4) Sami Callihan (CZWO member who has been pushed to the edge of insanity by paranoia and delusions... he's constantly watching his back for "foe"
Thumbtack Jack and "friend" - and CZWO stablemate - the MESSIAH...)
5) MadMan Pondo (Fellow CZWO member joins to raise the numbers game and initiate early CZWO domination)
6) THE MESSIAH (CZWO domination continues until friction between Messiah & Callihan bubbles over into combat...)
7) THE SHEIK (Another OG of Xtreme and XPW Remixed veteran, the wily Sheik is portrayed as an unrestrained loose cannon)
8) "Prince of Darkness" Kevin Sullivan (1982) (Straight out of Florida 1982, and the bowels of hell - former XPW Remixed #1 contender & Black Army founder shows up to raise his flag and take it
to the CZWO...)
9) SNUFF (Kevin Sullivan's monster enters next - aided by some "lucky" Black Army numbering... he goes on an immediate tear as commentators remind
you of his victory over Sycho Sid Vicious...)
10) Thumbtack Jack (The rag tag German death match specialist is enjoying some cheers from the sadistic XPW Remixed crowd for returning to target his former tormentor
Sami Callihan... Thumbtack Jack helps unleash the bucket full of SYRINGES into the Slaughtahouse Stampede match!)
11) Danny Havoc (All American Xtreme athlete Danny Havoc continues his run as the Dolph Ziggler/Mr Perfect of the Death Match division with his stunning
selling)
12) SABU (Given new life and direction by master Jinder Mahal - he enters wiht a flurry of unrestrained chair shots for his foes)
13) Pogo the Clown (Evil, John Wayne Gacy inspired serial killer clown is another brainchild of Rob Black and XPW Original... massive man moves well for his size and
portrays the monster heel excellently)...
14) Sandman (Not the same "Xtreme Icon" as in the past - he's seen "Death Match wrestling" for what it really is... BS)
15) Bull Ramos (Indian War chief cleans house with his strap and barrel-chested power moves)
16) Abdullah the Butcher (Madman from the Sudan continues his run of XPW Remixed appearences with another disgusting fork blood-letting)
17) Atushi Onita (Black Army Japanese delegate is part of the last wave and instigates the "Black Army" domination portion of the match...)
18) JUN KASAI (Brainwashed Crazy Monkey is even more dangerous and blood-thirsty now, and his arrival cements the Black Army's reign...)
19) Road Warrior HAWK (... until "OOOOOOOHHH what a RUSSSSHHHH!!!" breaks through the arena soundsystem and the resulting crowd pop is earth shattering!)
20) Road Warrior ANIMAL (Chicago street fighter shows up with spiked shoulder pads and a mean 2x4)
Order of Elimination
1) Necro Butcher (Callihan & Pondo)
2) New Jack (Messiah & Callihan)
3) MadMan Pondo (Dean Ambrose sneak attack after brief team up)
4) Sami Callihan (abandoned by Messiah and eliminated by Thumbtack Jack)
5) ThumbtacK Jack (dumped by Messiah)
6) OG Sheik and...
7) Snuff (both Sheik & Snuff tumble from ring together - and Snuff get's fireballed in the aisleway)
8) Danny Havoc (Dean Ambrose)
9) Abdullah the Butcher (Sullivan & Onita)
10) Kevin Sullivan (Onita betrays him and laughs about it after the fact!)
11) Pogo the Clown (Bull Ramos lariat)
12) Sandman (drinks... puffs... mingles with the crowd.. raises his Kendo stick... and walks out...? Big boos and chants of "sell-out!" and
"HE'Z A PU**Y!!")
13) The Messiah (Onita, Kasai & Ambrose)
14) Sabu (Road Warrior HAWK)
15) Jun Kasai (Road Warrior ANIMAL)
16) Bull Ramos (LOD)
17) Atsushi Onita (LOD)
18) Dean Ambrose (LOD)
19) ** WINNER ** Road Warrior HAWK
20) ** WINNER ** Road Warrior ANIMAL
This is the culmination of all the previous backstage interludes and the final chapter in another �Summer of War� story� segment starts backstage
immediately following the Slaughtahouse match, with XPW president Ed �Strangler� Lewis caught on film about to confront Rob Black once and for all -
when an intern rushes up with a folder (�here�s the paperwork you requested, Mr Lewis!�)� it is the final ratings sheet from XPW TV Episode #50...
Ed Lewis tears it out in disgust, flips the page� and stares a blank hole through it� suddenly he�s lost all motivation for confrontation� instead
Mr Mondt passes by to speak with him� with cameras watching voyeuristically on, Mondt claims credit for the LOD signing - assures Ed Lewis things are
going exactly where they want them to - and ushers him out of the picture with a handshake and hearty laugh� with Lewis gone, Mondt�s face turns
stoic again - and we follow the sound of chaos, upheaval and shouting directly into the Black Army offices - where predictably, Rob Black is throwing
a FIT after the Slaughtahouse Stampede match� does Mondt offer some kind of solace or comforting word? No, he jumps right on the blood in the water
and pits all the Black Army members against each other - before subtly demanding something seriously sinister needs to occur tonight or the Black Army
will be branded bitches for life� he�s obviously planted some very dangerous seeds in the mind of a man already proven to be unhinged� finally we
get to the locker room of ZANDIG - reigning KotDM champion - who gets a few moments to cut a shouting promo in which he reiterates the entire CZWO
mission of destroying XPW Remixed from within - which they have succeeded� tonight he strikes the final nail in the coffin of the Black Army and will
vanquish them from the realm of Death Match wrestling forever! Or die trying! And he will do it alone! Ominous words as we finally get to the ring
(being prepped during all these video packages) that has been transformed into an archaic scene of torture and destruction� barbed wire ropes, glass,
weapons, tacks you name it� it looks like a Combat Zone�
Neither man is fully cheered by the audience, which means most are just cheering the brutality - which makes it a very dangerous atmosphere� Kilo is
a 400+ pounder who moves remarkably well for a man his size - but his biggest claim to fame is his Mick Foley-like ability to take bumps and
punishment� in XPW Remixed, the �Kilo� character is taking a brief snapshot of Vic Grime�s brief WWF run and blowing it up into a sustainable
character� something that WWF knew was too hot even at their most controversial - a real live wrestling drug dealer� the storylines write
themselves� Zandig�s matches, for those not familiar, are far from pretty� they�re graphic, stiff and disturbing� notice I didn�t say �well-worked�
or �technical masterpieces�� being the leader and founder of CZW (and the �CZWO� in XPW Remixed cannon) Zandig never asked an employee to do
something he wouldn�t do - or hasn�t done already� some of the most ridiculously violent and atrocious things have happened to him - and this night
is no exception� the two Death Match monsters put on an amazing masterpiece that fans of snuff films and Necro CDs would love� and in the end,
interference from Rob Black himself turns the tide of battle and Zandig winds up crushed beneath a metal barricade from a Kilo top rope senton� But
it�s what happens AFTER the match that�s most disturbing� Rob Black commandeers the mic to rub some serious salt in Zandig�s open wounds (literally
too - he actually orders Kilo to pour bags of salt upon Zandig�s bloody body)� this is some �I�m Vince McMahon and I just beat WCW!� type stuff from
Black, growing more maniacal by the minute.. He broke ratings records but people still say it wasn�t enough - that the Black Army couldn�t cut it in
the ring - that the CZWO made them their prison bitch� well this is what you FUCKING GET! A prison shanking of epic proportions! LIVE right here on
unsanctioned internet PPV - A LIVE MUTHAPHUCKKIN HOMICIDE!! In one of the most unbelievably vile and graphic things you�ve ever seen in Territory
Wars history (and you�ve read every XPW issue, so that�s saying a lot) - the Black Army literally hang Zandig by his flesh with giant MEAT HOOKS and
suspend him from the ceiling! The ultimate effigy in an East Coast/West Coast, time line feud that Rob Black is now claiming final victory! Kilo is
the new KotDM champion! Black Army sends a violent MESSAGE! Zandig is dead! What becomes of the CZWO now??
Winner (and NEW King of the Death Match champion): KILO
CZWO founder Zandig hangs from the arena ceiling by meat hooks.
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL FOR "THE 18th LETTER" - XPW Remixed's next iPPV scheduled for September **
PRIME TIME PLAYAZ vs HEATH SLATER & HONKY TONK MAN
versus
We need a �come down� segment and this it - also doubles as another final chapter in the �XPW Remixed Declares SUMMER of WAR� saga� it starts with
the PPV arrival of XPW Original (and former XPW Remixed TV champion) �Rockstar� Joey Kaos who gets the heroes welcome� he is wearing a shirt that
reads �AUSTIN ARIES IS MY BITCH� and he is wearing a mock replica of the mans championship belt� Kaos gets a few moments to start a promo (hyping up
his whole �I beat Austin Aries clean in TNA but now can�t get no competition!� angle) - when he�s interrupted by Heath Slater & HTM! They attempt to
hijack the show and insult Kaos (and therefore �XPW Remixed�) with their ridiculous, pro-AWA shtick (claiming the AWA knows true talent and not
gimmickry) until Kaos sticks up for his home fed - disses HTM & Slater - makes the challenge and introduces his tag team partner/comrade/rock star
ally - the big dog TITUS O�NEIL! We get a quick, high-paced encounter that relies heavily on the show-off �entertainment� aspects of Slater & HTM -
taking great joy in their ritual humiliation� Kaos dazzles, Titus powers, and the PTP take home a dominant victory� and as they lead the crowd in
chants of �XPW! XPW!� to end the segment - it�s clear who is the best in the land�
** Backstage promos from Morgan/Rogers followed by Sheamus - putting over the historical relevancy of this match - infusing it with importance -
and delving into the dark connotations of American slavery and slave holders...
SHEAMUS (2012) versus MATT MORGAN (2010) w/ Buddy Rogers (�Slavery versus Freedom match�)
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Ill video recap of the Sheamus/Morgan feud - two men with similar physical abilities - but radically different upbringings, backgrounds and outlooks�
Matt Morgan is the �Any Given Sunday� professional athlete - too good for everybody - and he�s being managed by the greatest agent in fantasy
wrestling today, �Nature Boy� Buddy Rogers� Sheamus on the other hand is the blue-collar, hardworking immigrant who was royally screwed by the man @
�Give Me Liberty or Death�� now his wish for vengeance has come with an unholy price tag - one sealed with a ringpost Figure-4 leglock (see XPW TV
Episode #50)� Matt Morgan has used his considerable financial clout to raise the stakes of this rematch even higher - if Sheamus loses he becomes
their SLAVE! But in an effort to institute some kind of equality into the match stipulations, Commissioner Muldoon has added a stipulation that if
Matt Morgan loses tonight - he must pay Sheamus $1 million dollars!
The two behemoths start slow, sizing each other up (wary to commit) before moving into the power exchanges� Sheamus - fueled by the fans fire - has
the early advantage and muscles Morgan about� but soon, Sheamus� already weakened knee (due to Rogers & Morgan�s post match attack on XPW TV Episode
#50) becomes an issue - allowing �Blueprint� Matt Morgan to take over on offense� he chokes Sheamus on the top rope - and Rogers continues the
illegal hold after the referee pushes Morgan away� �Blueprint� drops a huge guillotine leg drop on Sheamus� exposed neck but only gets a two count�
Morgan rocks the ring with a series of heavy clotheslines� until Sheamus hit�s a slingshot shoulder block from the ring apron! Another one from the
top rope! Sheamus with a shoulder block and Irish Curse backbreaker! Then when Buddy Rogers made the last ditch desperate run-in, he was caught in a
power vertical suplex - credit to Sheamus for holding the former XPW Remixed champion in the air for what felt like forever -before slamming him to
the mat� Action quickly picked up between Sheamus & Matt Morgan and it went down like a true Heavyweight slugfest� Joe Frazier/Muhammed Ali, Junior
Dos Santos / Alistair Overeem - George Forman/Mike Tyson all rolled into one (even with Buddy Rogers pulling the referee out at the count of 2 �..
Getting his man DQ�d� taking the duffel bag money back� only to have the match restarted by Commissioner Muldoon and some of the money scattered to
the fans when Sheamus attacked Rogers & Morgan from behind on the entrance ramp!)� Sheamus showed guts and determination while Morgan wilted in the
4th in the quarter� Bill Russell to Wilt Chamberlain� Brogue Kick from outta nowhere to the gassed face of Matt Morgan for the finish! Post match
Sheamus celebrates with his fans - Rogers & Morgan claim �ENRON�; they�re too big to fail! - and lucky fans are greeted with handfuls of cash from a
Celtic Warrior version of Robin Hood.
Alberto Del Rio promo - Samoa Joe promo - then Cena is cutting a promo live when Lou Thesz walks in on it, and the two have a few tense words
framed by a handshake of mutual respect (they both want to stand against the Black Army and what they mean to fantasy wrestling)...
** CUT TO RING **
** XPW World Championship **
ALBERTO DEL RIO (2011) � versus LOU THESZ (1952) versus
SAMOA JOE (2007) versus JOHN CENA (2012) (�Hell in a Cell match�)
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Video recap of the build between all 4 men airs as the HiTC cage is lowered� Ricardo Rodriguez introduces the champion Alberto Del Rio first (in a
sick silver Mercedes)� followed by Samoa Joe (who will show up; the murderous one man gang? Or respectful ROH veteran�?)� Lou Thesz (huge pop)�
and finally John Cena� a formal, MMA-styled introduction is made for all 4 men� as soon as the door is closing and bell ringing - we fly immediately
into action� Del Rio immediately flees from everybody and runs around the ring� Lou Thesz stalks him while Samoa Joe pounces on an unsuspecting
Cena� Thesz finally corners Del Rio, and works him over with some stiff strikes� meanwhile John Cena mounts an offense on Samoa Joe and dumps him
over the top rope with a high back body� that leaves Cena and Thesz alone to have the dramatic - cheer inducing - stare down� but they don�t have a
chance to come to blows, as each of them spins behind the other to counter a sneaking foe� Cena battles Del Rio (shades of WWE 2011) while Thesz and
Samoa Joe tangle� Cena tries for the AA, but Del Rio fights out and tries to lock in an arm breaker - but Cena muscles THROUGH that attempt - hoists
Del Rio on his shoulders - only to fall prey to a sunset flip attempt (but only 2)�
Samoa Joe goes to the outside and grabs a chair, sending it into the ring� Thesz avoids it - but can�t dodge Alberto Del Rio - who charges Thesz from
behind with a knee, driving him into the Cell wall� Del Rio grabs the chair and wedges it in the corner, but Cena hits a series of shoulder blocks,
belly to back suplex, and five knuckle shuffle to the XPW Remixed champion Del Rio to keep him down� But Cena still can�t connect with his finisher,
and Samoa Joe grabs him up from behind� neckbreaker/DDT combo from Joe to Cena - before Samoa Joe pounces on the wounded Del Rio and sends him
outside the ring into the Cell wall as well� Joe goes goes under the ring to grab a table and begin setting it up� Joe charges Thesz on the ring
apron and hits a running knee, but when he teases a bull dog through the table - John Cena arrives to shove Joe hard off the apron and into the Cell
wall! Cena makes his way back into the ring but he�s set upon by a rabid Del Rio with a steel chair! Multiple whacks across Cena�s back renders him
invalid, and Del Rio sets up the chair in the middle of the ring� then he CRUSHES the chair with Cena�s body using a high belly to back suplex! Del
Rio goes for the cover but it is broken up by Thesz�
Now Thesz & Del Rio get to continue their epic fantasy wrestling rivalry as Cena and Joe take a breather� Del Rio charges Thesz but misses and
crashes hard into the ring post� Samoa Joe has now positioned himself on the top turnbuckle for a strike - but Thesz bounces off the ropes instead�
it dislodges Joe and crotches him on the top rope� Thesz hit�s a stunning falcon arrow on the stunned Joe for a 2 count! Thesz then gets
clotheslined by Cena for another close 2! Del Rio is outside the ring getting fanned down by Ricardo - but when he sees Cena distracted again he
sneaks in for a backstabber - but can�t get the 3 count� Joe kicks Del Rio in the face and Del Rio falls out of the ring� but as soon as Joe turns
around he is taken out by a Cena clothesline� Lou Thesz hit�s a surprise drop toehold on Cena and positions himself for the STF� but Del Rio appears
out of nowhere to drop a steel chair elbow on the back of Lou�s head! Del Rio lays waste to both Cena and Thesz with the chair before setting it on
Cena�s chest and stomping down� then he lays Thesz on top of Cena and the chair - and crushes both with a huge senton off the top rope! �XPW! XPW!�
chants! But neither Thesz or Cena stay down for 3...
Now - Samoa Joe just snaps - and goes on a suplex tear until everybody is down and the crowd is chanting �JOE�S GONNA KILLLLL UUUU!� He leaps off the
top with a giant elbow drop on Cena, but still can�t get the pinfall� Cena tries fighting back but Joe answers with a big kick and a body slam� but
when he scales the top rope again to ostensibly finish off Cena - Joe is pushed from the top by Thesz, where he crashes through the ringside table he
helped set up prior! In the ring Del Rio turns to Cena, but he�s caught in the STFU! Now we get the obligatory ringside interference - Ricardo
steals the key from the ref and tries to hit Cena with a pipe! But Lou Thesz stops him before he can, and hit�s a huge airplane spin that launches
Ricardo face-first into the Cell wall! But that momentary distraction allows Del Rio to hit an �nziguri kick to the back of Lou�s head that knocks
him OUT of the open cage door� where Del Rio quickly locks it behind him! Lou Thesz has literally been locked OUT of the Hell in a Cell match! Now
Cena and Alberto go back at it, with Del Rio using the pipe to disable Cena�s arm! German suplex, bridging into a pin from Del Rio but still only
2...
Thesz is still trying to pry the cage door open as Samoa Joe & Alberto Del Rio get it together enough to double-team John Cena into oblivion� Thesz
is basically helpless to watch - but he does finally get his hands on Ricardo Rodriguez for a small measure of retribution (bashing Ricardo�s face
repeatedly into the cage wall until he gushed blood)� Inside the ring Cena (seated half conscious on the top turnbuckle) falls prey to a running
enziguri kick from Del Rio into a muscle buster from Joe! But when it comes down to actually picking up the pinfall - Joe & Del Rio come to odds�
Del Rio tries for the arm breaker but Joe pushes Del Rio off and into the corner� Samoa Joe unleashes a flurry of blows, strikes and stiff kicks and
takes Del Rio down for good with a huge leg lariat� Joe hit�s the running clothesline in the corner as Cena is shown struggling to his feet (2 count
for Joe on Del Rio)� finally the steel pipe comes into play and Del Rio strikes with a desperation blow that waylays Joe completely! A stunned Joe
stumbles back into the cage wall - where Ricardo Rodriguez (a bloody, desperate mess) literally HANDCUFFS Joe to the cage wall! Samoa Joe is trapped!
With Cena struggling to his feet, Del Rio attempts another swing with the pipe - only to have Cena catch him with an FUAA in return! But while being
hoisted onto Cena�s shoulders, Del Rio counters with a devastating pipe shot to the head! Cena falls to the mat KO�d, and Del Rio slips harmlessly
off his shoulders! Del Rio is all alone and he swoops in on Cena for the cross arm breaker� but all the sudden - unforeseen by Del Rio and anybody
watching at home - Lou Thesz tackles Del Rio and rolls him into the STF submission! Thesz managed to gain entry into the locked cage at the last
moment, and he�s got Del Rio trapped! There�s no way to crawl! No rope to break the hold! TAP OR SNAP!! And he does! Alberto Del Rio taps out to
Lou Thesz STF! Backstage the owners and management throw their hands up in exasperation! Lou Thesz has done it! He�s liberated the XPW World
championship from the clutches of evil! What does this mean for the future of the title!? And the company??
Winner (and NEW XPW Remixed WORLD champion): LOU THESZ
Ahoy there! Through popular culture, wow gold kaufen landlubbers have determined that all pirates of every era and
nation talked wow gold the same way, and that leaves us scurvy swabs with our culture appropriated, and
wow gold sicher kaufen incorrectly at that! Now, ye might say to me, "but Cap'n Belfaire.
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002 Location Brockton MA Member Is Offline
Mood: No Mood.
posted on 9-19-2012 at 03:44 PM
quote:Originally posted by pfyurt
Ahoy there! Through popular culture, wow gold kaufen landlubbers have determined that all pirates of every era and
nation talked wow gold the same way, and that leaves us scurvy swabs with our culture appropriated, and
wow gold sicher kaufen incorrectly at that! Now, ye might say to me, "but Cap'n Belfaire.
Thank you so much for the feedback! I've been told my writing is pretty heavy, but it's never been called wow gold before. And
you're right, I have appropriated the culture completely and I appreciate you noticing the subtle differences in that I "borrow" from other
literary sources (and didn't just call me a *biter*). Yes those scurvy swabs in Gold Dust Trio Inc have tried their best to sink XPW Remixed to
the lowest levels like the pirates of yore - but in the world of Ravenloft - where "redemption" is the over-arching theme - I'm sure
Cap'n Belfaire will get his just desserts. That's just how the Dark Powers roll, baby.
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