Flash
The Great One 
Posts 3467
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Ontario, Canada Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 4-29-2017 at 07:55 AM |
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Great "Bad" Movies
I love old 80's and 90's action and horror movies where the body count was high, and the one liners were about as bad as the boob jobs
that would be guaranteed to appear in each flick... seriously, was there an action flick from that era that didn't feature at least one scene
set in a strip club?
Sometimes it's the clothes and hair styles that are so horribly dated, the over the top and unapologetic racism, or the fact that had the cell
phone been present about 90% of the movies continuity problems would be solved. There's also generally more than a dash of massive homo erotic
tension between the lead and either his cop partner, or the movies mustache twirling bad guy who's motivation generally could be summed up by
cocaine... at any rate; good "bad" fun and I will subject my friends these abuses at any and every opportunity that presents itself, which generally
starts out with no small amount of "what the $&%@ are you making us watch?" and then slowly but surely morphs into something akin to Mystery Science
Theatre 3000 and a fun time... which generally buys my movie choosing privileges a stay of execution and me another opportunity to heap some new abuse
on them a few weeks later.
So this week I went with I COME IN PEACE... a Dolph Lundgren classic that sprung to mind after we struck out trying to find his 1989 Punisher
(seriously, if you are a fan of a punisher movie that is light on the iconic punisher outfit but heavy on a very dirty naked Frank Castle roaming the
sewers monologing to God... well boy, have I got a movie for you!!!) after my friend mentioned that they were remaking He-Man aka Masters of the
Universe, another Lundgren "masterpiece" that I subjected them to a or so back.
In a nutshell I COME IN PEACE (aka Dark Angel) might just be the third greatest Christmas movie behind Die Hard and Scrooged features Lundgren as a
cop on the hunt for an alien that keeps injecting folks with heroin so that he can reap the endorphins from the victims brains via a big fat spike to
the head... said endorphins are like alien crack, or so they kinda guess on their own, only to have it confirmed later by another alien running around
who is surprisingly fluent in English. The movie is heavy on all the 80's good stuff- including some sweet round house kicks from Lundgren at
every turn... who say's Patrick Swayze has the market cornered on roundhouses? The penultimate fight has to be just about the gayest fight
imaginable as the alien (listed simply as "bad alien" in the credits) literally shoots a giant phallic like tentacle cable (that he uses to shoot
creamy white heroin juice into his victims) at Lundgren who wrestles around on the ground with it for about five minutes as they alternate between
close ups of their respective faces where there's no shortage of grunts, groans, and oddly looking orgasmic looks on the aliens face... the
fight ends as the alien gets impaled on a pipe through his mid-section which proceeds to shoot his (already established) white chalky (think Bishop at
the end of Aliens) guts out all over the place... Cue Lundgren's mandatory parting quick as he blows away the Bad Alien... The movie also
features Brian Benben as the sidekick- Benben might be familiar to those who were around their early teens and discovered HBO's Dream On comedy
show; which helped establish the long running rule at HBO that nudity is mandatory, even in half hour sitcoms.
Anyway--- if you haven't seen it, sorry for the spoilers.... it's nearly 30 years old now, and well worth checking out if you are also
down with those 80's masterpieces that maybe haven't quite hit cult status, but are still entertaining... I think the rule is that once a
movie is a few decades old barring any cool swerves, generally synopses and commentary is fair game.
So next week I'm thinking either Cobra featuring Stallone, or maybe Tango and Cash also featuring Stallone... hhhhmmm Stallone seems to be a
pretty bankable bet for bad 80's action flicks... Any other suggestions, or let's turn this into a catch all great "bad" movies thread
which pays homage to those 80's and early 90's classics.
A few other flicks I was contemplating were:
*Action Jackson
*Nightbreed (actually just a good movie... Cronnenberg is genuinely creepy)
*John Carpenters Vampires (more late 90's)
*48 hours and its sequel Another 48 hours (the original buddy cop movie?)
*F/X and F/X 2 (what, you think a Hollywood special effects artist can't stop crime... well then clearly you also missed the tv series it
spawned)
*Gymkata (cause every Eastern block country has a conveniently placed pommelhorse sitting around in their town square so that a gymnast turned secret
agent can fend off hordes of bad guys in glorious fashion.... seriously youtube it!)
*Most Christopher Lambert films aside from Highlander (aka greatest movie of all time)... Knight movies (serial killers and chess boards...
can't miss!), Gun Men, and Fortress spring to mind
*A few Bruce Willis flicks make the cut... Color of Night, Last Man Standing, Striking Distance, and Hudson Hawk are all "winners" to varying
degrees.
Any other "A-list" action or horror flicks worth adding to list to revisit, or heck... maybe even discover for the first time?
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Quentil
Showstopper
Posts 743
Registered 5-13-2003 Location Saratoga Springs, NY Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 4-29-2017 at 04:51 PM |
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I used to have a whole section of DVDs and VHS devoted to movies that were so bad, they were good. In the section were movies like Wing Commander,
Vampirella, The Wizard, Waterworld, and all of the Pauly Shore movies (I fucking love his movies for all the wrong reasons).
It's great to poke fun at such things. Although I don't know if I fully agree with your definition of "bad movies". Movies might be
dated because of hair styles or lack of cell phones, but that doesn't automatically make them worse. 48 hours and F/X, as an example, are great
movies that were heaped acclaim when they were out. I'd say they are just good movies on their own merits, not as a failing of them.
I do agree watching pre-cell movies can be a bit more amusing now, though. Which doesn't make complete sense. Because people don't mock
a movie set in the 1800s over people using horses instead of cars and trucks. So it should be the same sort of acceptance with phones. Culture is
funny, sometimes.
ETA: John Carpenter's Vampires is probably my favorite vampire movie ever made. And you hit the nail on the head with Gymkata. Hilariously
bad movie. I think I first saw it on USA Up All Night back in the late 80s/early 90s.
[Edited on 4-29-2017 by Quentil]
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Flash
The Great One
Posts 3467
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Ontario, Canada Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 4-29-2017 at 05:21 PM |
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No, definitely some of the movies I threw out there definitely still stand up as great movies, and earned some well deserved acclaim when they first
came out; I guess by "bad" I meant maybe dated in glorious celebration of such 80's staples and their over the top-ness... the cell phone
example was just one that stood out to me as there were several scenes in I COME IN PEACE that required the heroes to use a pay phone... so it's
not so much mocking their lack of phone technology, and more like a re-visitation of childhood memories where yeah... pay phones, remote controls that
had a cable running from them to the box, skinny ties, big shoulders and perms were all still a thing.
So think "bad" as like a fun catch all for dated, over the top, movie trends, but above all else fun.
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the goon
Sister Act
Posts 6396
Registered 3-13-2004 Location Charlotte, NC Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 4-30-2017 at 05:25 AM |
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I'll toss out a few:
Rocky IV: I love Rocky IV, but it's pretty damn ridiculous. Rocky has a robot (why did everyone in 80's movies own robots?), Apollo
Creed gets straight killed in an exhibition fight, and Rocky seemingly unites America and Russia at the end. Plus it has an amazing 80's
soundtrack and not one, but two, montage scenes.
Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning: Okay, you could really list any Friday the 13th movie here, but I feel like this one is especially
high on the "so bad, it's good" 80's scale. It gets a lot of flack for being the "fake Jason" one (and generally is regarded as the
worst of the Friday movies), but I find it to be a lot of fun. It just has a sleazy feel to it and some black humor mixed in as well, which makes for
a good time.
Cyborg: Low-budget Van Damme 80's post-apocalyptic sci-fi/action flick that's super violent. What's not to love?
Nash is only a few inches bigger than JBL and depending on how stiff he gets Punk should be able to take it. -JB King, meant in a totally non-sexual
way
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Count Zero
The Rowdy One 
Posts 2309
Registered 1-29-2013 Location Canada East Member Is Offline Mood: fugazi
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| posted on 4-30-2017 at 07:33 AM |
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I'm not a -hyuge- movie person, but I might have something to contribute here, and I can do it in two words:
MORTAL KOMBAAAAATTTTT!!!!
God , I love that movie for reasons I can't even begin to understand. And, as luck would have it, it's a Christopher Lambert joint.
"It's a WWE tradition, to do something un-right." --Paddlefoot
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Sportsguy
Showstopper
Posts 814
Registered 10-17-2009 Location Illinois Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 4-30-2017 at 08:57 PM |
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A thread like this CANNOT exist without mention of two Nick Cage 'classics'.
Face/Off
Con Air
For those who haven't seen them, go do so instantly.
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G. Jonah Jameson
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1164
Registered 12-28-2010 Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 5-1-2017 at 12:23 AM |
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It's not from the 1980s, but I'm not doing my due diligence here if I don't give "Zardoz" a mention. For sheer 80s cheese and
appallingly bad storytelling and dialogue, "Miami Connection" is worth a shot, too.
More:
"Firebirds" (poor man's "Top Gun" starring Nicolas Cage)
"Steel Dawn" (poor man's "Mad Max" starring Patrick Swayze)
"Supergirl" (ill-conceived, cheaply-made "Superman" cash-in)
"Over the Top" (silly Sylvester Stallone arm-wrestling flick)
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Flash
The Great One
Posts 3467
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Ontario, Canada Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 5-1-2017 at 01:11 AM |
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Oh man, over the top... I haven't seen that one in a long time... actually, come to think of it I think Over the Top and Superman IV the quest
for peace as a double feature were the last movies I saw at the drive-in.
I'd actually be curious to watch Zardoz again as an adult; I hated it as a kid, but I remember enough about it (including the nice "swerve"
ending) that it might be better than my like 9 year old patience could stand.
I had a few other thoughts...
*No Holds Barred... can't believe this one hasn't come up yet given the nature of the board.
*Krull
*Lifeforce ... naked hot space vampire chick...
*Commando... so much fun
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bopol
Showstopper 
Posts 751
Registered 1-18-2013 Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 5-1-2017 at 02:33 AM |
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It's not a great movie, but I did enjoy Battlefield Earth, which I think was a 6/10 - good enough scifi to keep me entertained. Not nearly the
utter piece of s**t that people claimed.
I only signed up so I can read the forum.
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Quentil
Showstopper
Posts 743
Registered 5-13-2003 Location Saratoga Springs, NY Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 5-1-2017 at 04:36 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by bopol
It's not a great movie, but I did enjoy Battlefield Earth, which I think was a 6/10 - good enough scifi to keep me entertained. Not nearly the
utter piece of s**t that people claimed.
See, I think Battlefield Earth is a piece of garbage, but I love The Postman and think it's a quality movie. So I'm not gonna judge if
you don't. 
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Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni 
Posts 7676
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Offline Mood: ChinceMcMahon
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| posted on 5-1-2017 at 04:47 AM |
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Yes to The Postman. And to Wyatt Earp too. And Cyborg as well. The Nic Cage shitfest that also deserves mentioning is The Rock with Sean Connery and
Ed Harris co-starring. Typical Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer shitacular. Brain dead fun worth at least one viewing per lifetime.
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
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bopol
Showstopper
Posts 751
Registered 1-18-2013 Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 5-1-2017 at 01:50 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Quentil
quote:
Originally posted by bopol
It's not a great movie, but I did enjoy Battlefield Earth, which I think was a 6/10 - good enough scifi to keep me entertained. Not nearly the
utter piece of s**t that people claimed.
See, I think Battlefield Earth is a piece of garbage, but I love The Postman and think it's a quality movie. So I'm not gonna judge if
you don't.
Well, I liked the Postman as another "that's not nearly as bad as people said" movies. I'd give that one a 6/10 as well (really, 5/10
but +1 for Tom Petty).
To me, Wild, Wild West was an enormous piece of s**t, but doesn't get the ridicule that BE or Postman does.
I only signed up so I can read the forum.
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OOMike
The Great One
Posts 3692
Registered 1-3-2002 Location Columbus, OH Member Is Offline Mood: same ol same ol
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| posted on 5-2-2017 at 12:33 PM |
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All of the American Ninja movies.... Michael Dudikoff... nuff said.
Speaking of Sho Nuff, The Last Dragon, blaxpoitation kung-fu flick.
2017 where Nazis are defended and being against Fascism is a bad thing.
Prejudices are rarely overcome by argument; not being founded in reason they cannot be destroyed by logic � Tryon Edwards
Never let the facts interfere with a good rant.
The only OO columnist that has never written a column.
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bopol
Showstopper
Posts 751
Registered 1-18-2013 Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 5-2-2017 at 07:29 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Paddlefoot
Yes to The Postman. And to Wyatt Earp too. And Cyborg as well. The Nic Cage shitfest that also deserves mentioning is The Rock with Sean Connery and
Ed Harris co-starring. Typical Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer shitacular. Brain dead fun worth at least one viewing per lifetime.
I would say that some of these movies are saved by having kick-ass actors as bad guys. The Rock had Ed Harris, but also David Morse and Tony Todd
stuck out as having excellent performances.
Kind of like Under Siege vs. Under Siege 2.
Under Siege - Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones
Under Siege 2 - Eric Bogosian and Everett McGill
Which one didn't suck?
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denverpunk
The Rowdy One
Posts 2618
Registered 6-27-2007 Location Mile-Hi Member Is Offline Mood: Stoked
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| posted on 5-10-2017 at 04:43 PM |
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Big Trouble in Little China. Not well-respected, but it's one of my all-time favorites.
And someone mentioned Face/Off, which to me is proof a movie can be completely ridiculous and still be an amazing movie.
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BBMN
HAVES A CROOKED DICK!! ! 
Posts 2386
Registered 6-27-2007 Location tumblr Member Is Offline Mood: SJW
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| posted on 5-12-2017 at 03:21 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by denverpunk
Big Trouble in Little China. Not well-respected, but it's one of my all-time favorites.
Gotta disagree here. It's a phenomenal movie. It's not a "so bad it's good" film. It's a so fucking awesome it's
classic film. It's Carpenter at his purest and best. Great pacing, good acting, crazy action, never goes full on romance, Kung Fu Gods, a
beholder, magic, amazing soundtrack. It's fucking perfect.
A lot of the movies mentioned are bad and not self aware. This isn't one of those.
As for truly a truly great bad movie, it doesn't get much better than Showgirls. However Verhoeven knows it, but for some reason revels in
it's awfulness. It managed to launch Elizabeth Berkley's film career into space, never to be seen again. Poor thing. 10/10 Bad Movie
Masterpiece.
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Flash
The Great One
Posts 3467
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Ontario, Canada Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 5-16-2017 at 03:53 AM |
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Big Trouble was an awesome movie; where it maybe suffered was that it was rushed into production in order to beat the similarly themed/Eddie Murphy
Vehicle the Golden Child... but really, once you get past the whole Asian/kidnapping bit they aren't really all that similar... kinda like when
Dante's Peak and Volcano, or Armageddon and Deep Impact came out all at the same time... close, but not the same.... er, well, I guess most of
the main Asian roles were also played by James and Victor Wong in both movies... but really, it was the 80's and those were your two go to Asian
actors.
Speaking of THE GOLDEN CHILD I wound up forcing my friends to watch it as part of my "bad" movie a week thingee I've been doing with them and
honestly story wise, and even special effects wise it holds up... some of the effects aren't as smooth as what computers can deliver (I'm
thinking the big demon chase scene at the end)... but for a 30 year old movie it ain't half bad.
The most glaring aspects that jumped out at me was probably the music... just so dated and overpowering to the scenes... made worse still by how
mismatched it often seemed to the scenes... like tense action moments were a little too upbeat... just terrible. I think you could also write a paper
about representations and treatment of women through the years in movies (yeah, there's probably a couple dozen out there at least)... like
Murphy's character seems unaccustomed to the word "no" when propositioning the female lead to come on up and bump uglies.... like it's
played for comedy, but comes off a bit uncomfortable now. Oh... also it's painfully obvious that the "Eddie Murphy Laugh" was added several
dozen times in post-production.
Fun stuff to watch for was a much younger Tywin Lannister (Charles Dance) as the bad guy, and a pretty cool, but pretty blatant Pepsi ad spot.
Last week I had them watch the 1988 THE BLOB and again; surprisingly the special effects really hold up well. Basically blob creature falls from the
sky and attaches himself to a hobo's hand who runs into the road and is struck by a couple of lovers lane teens... they get tangled up with the
towns batboy (who even tries to jump a ditch or something on a motor bike to show you how bad he is... you know, just in case the leather jacket and
smoking wasn't enough)... blob eats lots of people, with a dash of evil government scientists thrown in for a kicks and there's your
movie...
What surprised me most is the movie actually seems to have some fun with both subverting, and paying homage to a lot of 80's and earlier horror
clich�'s that you wouldn't imagine would already be a thing by that time... credit that to Frank Darabont (Shawshank Redemption, Mist) for
some fun and insightful writing. I'd probably still rank Carpenter's The Thing ahead of this one by far, but this held up a lot better
than I figured/remembered it would having not seen the movie since probably 1989 when it was on pay TV after it first came out. I think what probably
helped it still feel a bit fresh is that while you aren't going to get away from some era specific fashions and such, they almost seemed to try
and make you think of the 50's in a lot of ways... so it gives it already a bit of a classic look.
Fun stuff to watch for is people walking around the hospital and smoking, and a very young Kevin Dillon (Entourage) as the town's bad boy, and
the movies star.
[Edited on 5-16-2017 by Flash]
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salmonjunkie
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be 
Posts 11847
Registered 6-25-2002 Location Sunny Seattle, WA Member Is Offline Mood: Authoritized
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| posted on 5-16-2017 at 07:03 PM |
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The remake of Wicker Man with Nicholas Cage. Holy shit this is bad, and you can tell Cage knows it, and totally rolls with it, and it's
glorious because of it.
A movie that is so so fucking bad that it's hilarious is The Crow: Wicked Prayer with Edward Furlong as The Crow. Yes, I said that right. Eddie
Furlong - John Conner from T2 - is the freaking Crow. Dennis Hopper's performance as an ebonics speaking gang-leader is so over-the-top stupid,
you can tell he clearly does not give a fuck. Tara Reid is also in this, because of course she is. Danny Trejo has a wonderful scene where his
manboobs bounce in slo-mo. Tito Ortiz is also in this as well as Chozen from Karate Kid II. This movie is god awful and must be watched.
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Flash
The Great One
Posts 3467
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Ontario, Canada Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 01:04 AM |
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I'd be interested to go back and watch the Cage Wicker Man again knowing how bad it is... but man, watching that in the theatres years ago what
a piece of shit... although I do remember saying something to the effect of wouldn't it be funny if he just decked her.... moment later my jaw
was on the ground.
I'd be curious to go back and watch the original English version of the Wicker Man as it is considered to be quite the classic... I do believe
that some 30 years later they made a sequel...maybe not direct, but at least a somewhat spiritual sequel which was also well received.
Does anyone remember the Garbage Pail Kids movie?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lXmuXVGidY
Just watched the trailer and it didn't unearth any memories really... I know I saw it, I know my Grandma rented it for me on Beta, but I
can't remember one scene from the movie... What I do remember is how god damned big those cards were when I was a kid... this is before Pogs or
Pok�mon ruled the playgrounds, and was back in the days when marbles (giant jupiters, cats eyes, ketchup...) were still king. Reading the wiki blurb
on it sound like its considered one of the worst movies of all time.... might have to watch it again.
Few other recommendations...
*Troll 1 and 2.... Can't remember 2, but the first had a very young, and I think still on SNL Julia Louise Dreyfus in it... kind of a horror
fantasy blend.
*Critters movies.... just fun stuff, and I think DiCaprio's first movie... by the third or fourth one they applied the bad horror movie rule
that one sequel must eventually take place in space (see Leprechaun movies, Friday the 13th).
*House 1 and 2... very different in tone from one another, and good god is the guy in the first movie rocking a major plunging neckline on that
V-neck... like belly button deep. I always thought that House 2 had some potential for a remake, or to go a bit zanier with it.... although John
Ratzenberger (Cliff Claven) small part was awesome as the electrician who seems to be unusually prepared for finding inter-dimensional portals in
people's homes.
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Flash
The Great One
Posts 3467
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Ontario, Canada Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 7-3-2017 at 08:08 AM |
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I just got one of those Android boxes that may not be good for me as I�ve now been binging on old movies as I try my best to stump its abilities to
find pretty much every movie thus far I�ve put it to the task of finding� So far so good as without fail I�ve located just about every old cartoon or
movie that I�ve tried searching for ranging from the old Saturday morning C.O.P.S cartoon to Frankenstein meets the Wolfman which I first discovered
as a late night treat� love those old Universal monster movies. Yeah sometimes you�ve got to sift through a couple of bad feeds to get a working one,
or someone will mislabel a file� but on balance I�m really digging this; with a personal favourite being able to go back and watch the old Tales From
the Crypt episodes; which hold up pretty well for the most part.
Tonight I put the Android to the test to find an old 1989 Peter Weller film; LEVIATHAN- this one came out around the same time that undersea
monster/alien adventures seemed to be going through some kind of resurgence as THE ABYSS and DEEP STAR SIX all also came out around the same time (you
could kind of tangently add Star Trek IV to the list as well). The Abyss being a Cameron project got the much bigger budget, and is of course the
better movie- but Leviathan is hard to ignore because it boasts some special effects by Stan Winston which as per the usual for Winston are pretty
good. The remote setting and darker tone of the movie keep the 80s cheese to a minimum- but I think it still fits the GREAT BAD MOVIES theme of this
thread as there is still a penchant for bad one liners and an over powering sound track (honestly, 80's movies soundtracks always seemed to be
at odds with what was happening on the screen).
Leviathan; much like all the other similarly aquatic films that came out around the same time features a bunch of deep sea roughnecks who are winding
down their last few days down below before cycling out. Maybe borrowing a bit heavily from John Carpenters THE THING what we get is a bunch of mostly
ordinary clock punchers in an exciting and remote locale� and oh yeah; a kind of constantly evolving monster. The pacing isn't quite always
there as it seems to have a hard time deciding between a tension building science horror film and an outright monster movie... and the last 5 minutes
are pretty laughable, and seem to only be there so that Weller's character can one up Chief Brodie and yell "Say Awww mother fuc*er"... but it
moves at a good pace once things pick up.
Leviathan is fairly disposable, but it does have a pretty decent cast of hey I know that guy from somewhere actors� Peter Weller (Robocop) as the
lead, rounded out by Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters, Oz) Hector Elizondo (Pretty Woman, Beverly Hills Cop III), Daniel Stern (Home Alone, voice on the
Wonder Years), Richard Crenna (Rambo), and Amanda Pays (The Flash� both of them). The special effects are well done, and for a horror movie the
production values are pretty top notch as the sets are really fleshed out� yeah it suffers a bit from being a 1989 movie that aims for a future feel;
but the whole �dirty future� vibe (think Blade Runner) it goes for kind of negates that. It was directed by George P. Cosmatos- kind of a big name who
never quite broke through into the elite director ranks� he�s got Rambo II, Cobra, and Tombstone on his resume. The movie was co-authored by the
writers behind Blade Runner and Die Hard- so some good pedigree behind it.
If you liked Alien, the Abyss, the Thing then LEVIATHAN (1989) is probably worth checking out as a fun, late night sci-fi monster thriller. Nothing
overly original here; but it deserves better than being forgotten.
[Edited on 7-3-2017 by Flash]
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CVD39
Fella
Posts 265
Registered 1-16-2013 Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 7-11-2017 at 09:57 AM |
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I just came across one of the greatest movies of all time that was considered one of the worst movies of all time by a bunch of people who have no
idea what a good movie is. I'm going to give the link of The Apple, one of the earlier Cannon film company movies (Stallone's Cobra and
Over the Top movies, the Delta Force movies, the Death Wish sequels, other awful garbage movies):
https://youtu.be/Uix3tbov65o
I watched a documentary on the Cannon film company and they showed a few clips of this musical so I figured I had to watch it with the wife (it looked
real bad and we like real bad stuff like this). I was blown away. Not a musical guy but dang are these songs catchy. The story is basically a
half biblical story about Adam and Eve (you know, this is where The Apple comes in) and a late 70's porno without any porno (the movie is PG).
The movie was shot in 1979 (released in 1980) in Germany (but set in "the future" of 1994 America). I don't want to delve too far into the
story but suffice to say, it's fucking amazing. And it makes zero sense. And it has plot holes galore and the most non sensical ending ever
(the first scene was scrapped because it consisted of live animals and a dance routine in a soundstage that was too small yet it was the only thing
that made the ending make sense).
If the trailer doesn't sell you on this goddamn gem than the synopsis of the movie should but beware, it basically spoils the whole movie:
https://youtu.be/m31pkHl6XIY
I can honestly say that the first time I watched I wondered what the H was going on but the musical numbers (there are a couple of duds in here) and
the abrupt ending sold me on it. Now, my wife and I are smitten with a movie. We catch ourselves singing some of these and watching the YouTube
videos of them as most of the musical scenes are on there.
Hey hey hey, BIMs on its way.
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CCharger
The Great One 
Posts 3630
Registered 7-21-2010 Member Is Offline Mood: Covfefe
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| posted on 7-11-2017 at 10:55 PM |
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The list begins and ends with Road House with Patrick Swayze and Terry Funk.
"She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted."
"The powers of the president to protect our country are very substantial and will not be questioned."
--- Stephen Miller, Trump senior White House advisor, Feb. 12, 2017
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denverpunk
The Rowdy One
Posts 2618
Registered 6-27-2007 Location Mile-Hi Member Is Offline Mood: Stoked
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| posted on 7-20-2017 at 09:50 PM |
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Can we include Excalibur on this list? What an insane, batshit crazy thing that was. My wife watched it with me for the first time a few weeks ago and
has no fucking clue what was going on. God, I love that movie.
I was going to include Karate Kid II, but on further review, that movie was an absolute dog.
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salmonjunkie
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be
Posts 11847
Registered 6-25-2002 Location Sunny Seattle, WA Member Is Offline Mood: Authoritized
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| posted on 7-20-2017 at 11:29 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by denverpunk
I was going to include Karate Kid II, but on further review, that movie was an absolute dog.
Oh hell no, I love Karate Kid II
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OOMike
The Great One
Posts 3692
Registered 1-3-2002 Location Columbus, OH Member Is Offline Mood: same ol same ol
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| posted on 7-21-2017 at 12:16 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by denverpunk
Can we include Excalibur on this list? What an insane, batshit crazy thing that was. My wife watched it with me for the first time a few weeks ago and
has no fucking clue what was going on. God, I love that movie.
No we can't because that is a GREAT movie. Please for the love of Morgan Le Fey tell me you watched it uncut on cable/DVD.
2017 where Nazis are defended and being against Fascism is a bad thing.
Prejudices are rarely overcome by argument; not being founded in reason they cannot be destroyed by logic � Tryon Edwards
Never let the facts interfere with a good rant.
The only OO columnist that has never written a column.
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