OORick
Intellectual Savior of the Masses 
Posts 3633
Registered 12-27-2001 Location - The Birthplace of Aviation Member Is Offline Mood: Flyered Up
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 12:35 AM |
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OOfficial Discussion Thread for: SmackDown/205 Double Header (May 16, 2017)
Tonight on SmackDown: WWE puts the final touches on Sunday's Backlash PPV, and boy howdy, they could sure use a solid effort.... with
Backlash headlined by the hyper-dense black hole of "Who gives a shit?" that is Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal, it's entirely reasonable if
you're looking ahead, and Backlash is only the second-most anticipated wrestling show of the weekend (behind Saturday night's NXT
Takeover: Chicago)...
Or hell, maybe third-most, if you happen to have enjoyed the UK Tourney as much as I did, and are curious to see how some of those chaps hold up upon
third, fourth, or fifth viewings on Friday's special live event....
Luckily, for as dreadfully uninteresting as Orton/Mahal is, Backlash actually should wind up featuring the weekend's best and most electric
match.... I will bring back and eat one of my proverbial bugs if AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens (US Title) or Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Dolph Ziggler does not
wind up as Match of the Week, and likely on the map for MotY consideration down the line...
One could argue that those three matches sort of make up a three-headed main event, as Nakamura's in-ring debut has been the central pillar of
all advertising for the show, and Styles/Owens represents BOTH the "wanker dream match" element that should create great atmosphere as well as the
"WWE stakes" element (the US Title) that should ensure even the little kiddies and such are up for the match... that said, the WWE Title match still
goes on last, and word is that WWE is fully aware of the massive flop this show WOULD have been if we were still in a pay-per-view world... but they
are willing to experiment with this "something for everyone" approach, since they no longer have to sell you on a $50 PPV, they just have to keep
you on the hook for $10 per month, so they're taking a flier on Orton/Mahal; maybe they get a viable Evil Foreigner stereotype out of it, maybe
they don't, but so long as you show up for some reason -- any reason -- for Backlash, that's all WWE is asking, apparently...
All 6 of these guys have their assignments for tonight, as WWE has pre-hyped Orton vs. Baron Corbin as tonight's main event (which is a
marginally less-dense Singularity of Apathy than Orton/Mahal, but it's still not exactly heartening to realize that tonight's match
probably exists to start planting the seeds of Orton vs. Corbin)... also, AJ Styles and Mahal do battle in a match between the #1 Contenders to SD two
singles titles.... and Kevin Owens is advertised as taking over as the host of "The Highlight Reel," which should be good times...
Backing up those 3 matches on Sunday's show (and thus, the material that will need to be addressed in betwixt those three pre-announced segments
on tonight's show): though WWE has not made it official, Corbin vs. Sami Zayn is as sure a thing as it gets for Backlash, so some degree of Zayn
participation in the Orton/Corbin match is likely... Breezango challenge the Usos for the tag titles (and hopefully get to continue their homage to
"The Naked Gun" skits, too)... the Women's Title is taking a month off in favor of a 6-woman tag match on Sunday, with the tenuous alliance of
Naomi, Becky Lynch, and Charlotte taking on The Welcoming Committee (look for Carmella to continue emerging as the likely challenger to Naomi from
that group, unless a certain faction within WWE gets its way and just insta-turns Charlotte back into a heel)...
Two additional big things that are NOT related to matches on Sunday: (1) Rusev is playing the "prima donna superstar who is refusing to report to
camp until he gets a new contract" card, and returns to TV tonight to begin pestering Shane McMahon.... my understanding is that Rusev is not yet
100% healthy, so probably a few weeks of threats to quit to milk the story... and (2) after weeks of vague hype, it's probably time to have the
New Day set a date and place for their SD debut... I would not be surprised if that announcement comes tonight, and the New Day are a part of
Sunday's PPV (with only 5 announced matches, that a nice big New Day sized hole to fill with 10-15 minutes of hijinx)...
BONUS COVERAGE: the main event of "205 Live" is set, and it'll be one more go-round between Austin Aries and TJ Perkins, with the
subtext being that CW Champ Neville is pulling TJP's strings, intending to use TJP to incapacitate Aries before Neville's title defense at
the next RAW PPV (Jack Gallagher remains on the fringes as Aries semi-regular back-up)... the notable secondary storylines that could be used for
additional fodder tonight remain the same: Kendrick vs. Tozawa, Swann vs. Dar, and to a lesser extent, Mustafa Ali vs. Drew Gulak...
That is all. End communication....
The flOOr is yours, OO Nation. Don't wait till after 11pm to post, either. Pre-show previewing and prognosticating is certainly welcome.
So discuss, debate, and rate!
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Count Zero
The Rowdy One  
Posts 2064
Registered 1-29-2013 Location Canada East Member Is Offline Mood: Heat Vacuum
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 01:09 AM |
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Alternate Universe Preview:
TONIGHT! SMACK! DOWN! LIVES AGAIN! The Face That Runs The Place vs 3 Naan Band!
The Biggest Main Event In The History Of This Business! I play some Phoenix Wright during the commercial breaks! STUFF! WILL! HAPPEN! Except it
won't, because this is a ppv-go-home edition of Not Monday Night RAM!
Is the Jeritron 6500 in American numbers, or metric? It's hard to tell, since KO used to be Canadian but now he's the fayce of Ameryca.
Agayne.
I'm high on life, or possibly some of Janerd's secret stash! Our GUEST! on the HIGHLIGHT REEL! EN FRANCAIS! TABARNAK!!! Ah Zhay Stile!
Ah non, ce n'est pas lui. L'invite actuel est JEENDAIR MAHALE!
Okay, that's enough outta me.. I'm gonna go hide in the corner now.
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janerd75
The Great One 
Posts 3540
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is OnlineMood: Whatever the fuck
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 01:21 AM |
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...Bippity Boo and Skibbity Bop or whatever the fuck. - punkerhardcornette
BRAY WYATT'S SPOOKY DOOKY VARIETY HOUR - Illy P.
I expect a company that's basically a cluster of jock shitheads to act like a place that's run by a cluster of jock shitheads. - P. Foot,
Esq.
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Count Zero
The Rowdy One
Posts 2064
Registered 1-29-2013 Location Canada East Member Is Offline Mood: Heat Vacuum
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 01:34 AM |
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I dunno. I guess I'm in trainwreck mode?
eta: I need the Fashion Police to intervene. Day One Is H?
[Edited on 5-17-2017 by Count Zero]
"It's a WWE tradition, to do something un-right." --Paddlefoot
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janerd75
The Great One
Posts 3540
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is OnlineMood: Whatever the fuck
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 01:45 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Count Zero
I dunno. I guess I'm in trainwreck mode?
Forget it Count, It's Hockeytown.
You hush (or is it kush?) now and let's sit back and enjoy some greased-up homoerotic Fashion Police wrasslin'. 
...Bippity Boo and Skibbity Bop or whatever the fuck. - punkerhardcornette
BRAY WYATT'S SPOOKY DOOKY VARIETY HOUR - Illy P.
I expect a company that's basically a cluster of jock shitheads to act like a place that's run by a cluster of jock shitheads. - P. Foot,
Esq.
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Count Zero
The Rowdy One
Posts 2064
Registered 1-29-2013 Location Canada East Member Is Offline Mood: Heat Vacuum
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 01:48 AM |
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*has flashbacks to Corey Graves' Strong-Style Inner-Thigh Grabs*
etgay: the COLONS vs the Fashion Po? 
[Edited on 5-17-2017 by Count Zero]
"It's a WWE tradition, to do something un-right." --Paddlefoot
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Il Palazzo
Fella 
Posts 418
Registered 2-25-2006 Location Cheddar Bay, NC Member Is Offline Mood: Stepladder
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 02:44 AM |
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I get some SD tonight, yay me! Which seems to be consisting mostly of an Orton match. Yay me? And against Baron Munchausen no less!
And the New Day really didn't just directly transfer over from RAM? Although I do now recall Kofi was dealing with some sort of injury, so I
guess that maybe factored in. Or they're trying to rejigger their gimmick, which probably isn't likely. Maybe they show up having replaced
their ice cream with New Day Gabagool.
Good to see Sami switched out getting beaten by Strowman with getting beaten by Baron Samedi. Bit of a downgrade, admittedly. I also fear for my
ability to continuously change Baron Corbin's name. I guess there's always trawling Wikipedia for a list of historical barons.
You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.
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Count Zero
The Rowdy One
Posts 2064
Registered 1-29-2013 Location Canada East Member Is Offline Mood: Heat Vacuum
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 02:55 AM |
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When you run out of Barons, can we just go with Earl Of Sandwich? Baron Corbin always makes me want to go into the kitchen and make a sammich.
ETA: I finished my first Phonix Wright case! YAY! FOR! JUSTICE! Nobody better object.
[Edited on 5-17-2017 by Count Zero]
"It's a WWE tradition, to do something un-right." --Paddlefoot
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janerd75
The Great One
Posts 3540
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is OnlineMood: Whatever the fuck
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 02:56 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Il Palazzo
I get some SD tonight, yay me! Which seems to be consisting mostly of an Orton match. Yay me? And against Baron Munchausen no less!
And the New Day really didn't just directly transfer over from RAM? Although I do now recall Kofi was dealing with some sort of injury, so I
guess that maybe factored in. Or they're trying to rejigger their gimmick, which probably isn't likely. Maybe they show up having replaced
their ice cream with New Day Gabagool.
Good to see Sami switched out getting beaten by Strowman with getting beaten by Baron Samedi. Bit of a downgrade, admittedly. I also fear for my
ability to continuously change Baron Corbin's name. I guess there's always trawling Wikipedia for a list of historical barons.
Rejigger their what now?
Also, there is only one Baron that matters...
*siiiiiigh* Now I suppose I gotta do a mashup photoshop of Baron HarCorbin?
...Bippity Boo and Skibbity Bop or whatever the fuck. - punkerhardcornette
BRAY WYATT'S SPOOKY DOOKY VARIETY HOUR - Illy P.
I expect a company that's basically a cluster of jock shitheads to act like a place that's run by a cluster of jock shitheads. - P. Foot,
Esq.
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Count Zero
The Rowdy One
Posts 2064
Registered 1-29-2013 Location Canada East Member Is Offline Mood: Heat Vacuum
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 03:04 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by janerd75
*siiiiiigh* Now I suppose I gotta do a mashup photoshop of Baron HarCorbin?
With the hairline in that pic, I thought you already had the
mashing ups completed. 
"It's a WWE tradition, to do something un-right." --Paddlefoot
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Il Palazzo
Fella
Posts 418
Registered 2-25-2006 Location Cheddar Bay, NC Member Is Offline Mood: Stepladder
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 03:07 AM |
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There we go, repackage Corbin with a Dune gimmick and have him serenaded to the ring at a WrestleMania by Sting. The wrestler, not the singer. Loser
gets fed to a sandworm.
You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.
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Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7150
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Offline Mood: G'bye SmokinJoe
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 03:57 AM |
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1) Never knew Steve Bannon had a hover-suit
2) I missed it all because of a nap 
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
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the goon
Sister Act
Posts 6215
Registered 3-13-2004 Location Charlotte, NC Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 04:01 AM |
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I wasn't aware that Backlash is in Chicago until watching Smackdown tonight, so my interest in Orton/Mahal just went up 73% just to see what the
crowd reaction is going to be (especially if it goes on last).
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janerd75
The Great One
Posts 3540
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is OnlineMood: Whatever the fuck
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 04:32 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Il Palazzo
There we go, repackage Corbin with a Dune gimmick and have him serenaded to the ring at a WrestleMania by Sting. The wrestler, not the singer. Loser
gets fed to a sandworm.
As you wish...
quote:
Originally posted by Paddlefoot
1) Never knew Steve Bannon had a hover-suit
2) I missed it all because of a nap
1) I shouldn't encourage you Canadianne chumps. Can't you just let us violently self-destruct in peace?
(Not mine 'cause Bannon Harkonnen is so much more obvious a nickname.)
2) You missed nOOthing.
...Bippity Boo and Skibbity Bop or whatever the fuck. - punkerhardcornette
BRAY WYATT'S SPOOKY DOOKY VARIETY HOUR - Illy P.
I expect a company that's basically a cluster of jock shitheads to act like a place that's run by a cluster of jock shitheads. - P. Foot,
Esq.
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Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7150
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Offline Mood: G'bye SmokinJoe
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| posted on 5-17-2017 at 05:47 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by janerd75Can't you just let us violently self-destruct in peace?
No, because the radioactive fallout from your imminent self-immolation won't magically stop at the border. 
quote:
You missed nOOthing.
SD minus Miz, Maryse, Ambrose, and Alexa isn't anywhere near as much fun now as it was before the shake-up. I'd like to include Bray too
on that list but they're going to do stupid things to him no matter what show he's on. Props though for the Fashion Cops putting a "The
Worst!" sticky next to a picture of Tony Chimmel.
[Edited on 5/17/2017 by Paddlefoot]
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
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