By
contributing to Online
Onslaught,
you'll help make sure we're around for years to come. Toss us as little as
a few bucks, or as much as your generosity allows. Thanks!
Subject: OOfficial Discussion Thread for: RAW (July 3, 2017)
OORick
If There Was Ever a Time
Posts 3679
Registered 12-27-2001 Location - The Birthplace of Aviation Member Is Offline
Mood: Armstrong'd~!
posted on 7-4-2017 at 12:08 AM
OOfficial Discussion Thread for: RAW (July 3, 2017)
Tonight on RAW: there are just 6 days to go until the PPV Whose Name Seemed Like A Bad Joke But Which Somehow Has Turned Out To Not Be A
Complete And Total Distractioin, Probably Because WWE Went And Actually Paid For The Song Rights And Everything.... so it's not like there will
be a ton to surprise us: the entire PPV card was set a week ago, and it's a holiday weekend for folks here in the USofA (and aren't we all
so proud of all our rediscovered Greatness?), so WWE knows they'll have an issue with audience size...
Brock Lesnar defending the WWEU Title against Samoa Joe has turned out to be a lot more back-and-forth and compelling than you might have thought for
a one-off throwaway title defense.... Lesnar is scheduled to make another of his rare appearances tonight, so it might be his turn to get the better
of Joe.... or maybe not? There is talk that Vince & Co. are so impressed with how Joe has gotten over that they may keep him strong enough to run the
story out to SummerSlam...
Roman Reigns and Braun Strowman are getting to do their Ambulance Match on Sunday... with word on the street being that WWE massively reworked their
main event plans on the RAW side (to save Brock/Braun for WM34, instead of doing it at SummerSlam; in turn, this scrapped Roman Reigns getting the
WM34 title shot), it will be interesting to track just how much Reigns keeps acting like a heel, and how much WWE decides to run with that...
Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt rounds out the 3 alleged headline matches, but has so much less sizzle than the other two that it's palpable....
keep your eyes peeled for potential Wyatt Wackiness, as we've long expected Sister Abigail to show up and shkae up Bray's stale
presentation... and now, on top of that, WWE has sent out a casting call for a child actor to play Young Bray Wyatt...
Regarding all the Gold: IC Champ the Miz is running out the clock on his feud against Dean Ambrose; the cute little pouty thing Maryse is doing adds a
TOUCH of drama, as Miz kinda almost sorta is dealing with a two-front war.... but not really; since not only will Maryse fall back in line, but Miz
also just added his Entourage (Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas) to his corner, last week, portending the looming end of Ambrose's months of
contendership... The Hardys are getting one last shot at the tag titles held by Cesaro and Sheamus, but as part of getting that match, they had to
submit to whatever stipulation the champs want; that stipulation should be revealed tonight.... Alexa Bliss has a date with Sasha Banks on Sunday
night, but it feels like a sort of slap-dash affair, with Bliss vs. Jax still being the underlying main storyline of the division... Neville defending
the Cruiserweight Title against AKira Tozawa is finally happening, and was the big feud I wanted to see the minute a dominant heel Neville took the
belt in January; I just can't decide if this whole extra thing with Titus is a plus or a minus to what I'd pegged as a can't miss
match....
Stuff unconcerned with gold: Big Cass' heel turn is off to a dandy start, and the only question is if Enzo himself challenges Cass in the first
go-round of this story, or if they save Cass vs. Enzo, and keep on using Big Show as Enzo's surrogate at first.... Finn Balor and Elias Sampson
have an issue to settle, though I have a hard time making the case that it's a PPV Caliber Issue; maybe the pre-show? Except the preshow is
almsot an insult to Balor and his supposed placement on the card.... and "Ultimate Insider" Corey Graves now has the superpower of "knowing
things," which is being used as a sort of MacGuffin to suggest a Mysterious Lurking Dread that is haunting GM Kurt Angle's every move...
In this case, "Mysterious Lurking Dread" is pretty much a perfect description for how we all feel about the inevitability that Stephanie McMahon is
about to return to TV as a weekly character.... ahem...
That is all. End communication.
The flOOr is yours, OO Nation. Don't wait till after 11pm to post, either. Pre-show previewing and prognosticating is certainly welcome.
So discuss, debate, and rate!
janerd75
The Great One
Posts 3879
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: Juan Trick Pony
posted on 7-4-2017 at 12:14 AM
quote:Originally posted by OORick
... and now, on top of that, WWE has sent out a casting call for a child actor to play Young Bray Wyatt...
Lol, wut? But...how...why? Can they just turn him back into Husky Harris already?
"Well, life's a bitch n' then you marry one. Alls you know now is you're goin' into the bar tonight to get just fuckin'
interplanetary." - Wayne (Letterkenny)
"This is the water and this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, dark within." The Woodsman
Il Palazzo
Showstopper
Posts 503
Registered 2-25-2006 Location Cheddar Bay, NC Member Is Offline
Mood: Stepladder
posted on 7-4-2017 at 12:38 AM
Clearly this will lead to an angle where Bray goes back in time to save himself as a child from a Terminator, he fails, and that's how
he's repackaged with a new gimmick. OR, they find the most awkward child actor possible, and every segment involving him will be equal parts
cringe-inducing and confusing.
You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.
Flash
The Great One
Posts 3412
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Ontario, Canada Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 7-4-2017 at 12:44 AM
Maybe Bray going back in time creates a whole new timeline where Roman is way over with the IWC... we can call that the Darker Timeline... and hey
look, Reigns already has the goatee.
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7446
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Online
Mood: ChinceMcMahon
posted on 7-4-2017 at 12:54 AM
nvrmnd
[Edited on 7/3/2017 by Paddlefoot]
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
LoveMuscle
And I am AWESOME
Posts 192
Registered 6-28-2007 Member Is Offline
Mood: stiff
posted on 7-4-2017 at 01:09 AM
I just realized how much Enzo looks and sounds like Diamond Dallas Page.
CM Crunk
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1695
Registered 7-20-2011 Member Is Offline
Mood: Unpresidented
posted on 7-4-2017 at 01:11 AM
quote:Originally posted by OORick
... and now, on top of that, WWE has sent out a casting call for a child actor to play Young Bray Wyatt...
quote:Originally posted by LoveMuscle
I just realized how much Enzo looks and sounds like Diamond Dallas Page.
Zirconia Zubaz Amore?
[Edited on 7/4/2017 by CM Crunk]
janerd75
The Great One
Posts 3879
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: Juan Trick Pony
posted on 7-4-2017 at 01:17 AM
quote:Originally posted by Paddlefoot
nvrmnd
quote:Originally posted by CM Crunk
quote:Originally posted by OORick
... and now, on top of that, WWE has sent out a casting call for a child actor to play Young Bray Wyatt...
quote:Originally posted by LoveMuscle
I just realized how much Enzo looks and sounds like Diamond Dallas Page.
Zirconia Zubaz Amore?
Both PotY worthy. This is why I come here. I come other places too, but mostly here.
quote:Originally posted by LoveMuscle
I just realized how much Enzo looks and sounds like Diamond Dallas Page.
I wish.
[Edited on 7-4-2017 by janerd75]
"Well, life's a bitch n' then you marry one. Alls you know now is you're goin' into the bar tonight to get just fuckin'
interplanetary." - Wayne (Letterkenny)
"This is the water and this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, dark within." The Woodsman
CM Crunk
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1695
Registered 7-20-2011 Member Is Offline
Mood: Unpresidented
posted on 7-4-2017 at 01:22 AM
I still can't tell the difference between Alexa Bliss and Apollo Crews' entrance themes.
janerd75
The Great One
Posts 3879
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: Juan Trick Pony
posted on 7-4-2017 at 01:26 AM
quote:Originally posted by CM Crunk
I still can't tell the difference between Alexa Bliss and Apollo Crews' entrance themes.
I have a gif for that, but I don't think it would fly even with Grover-esque "Monster At The End of This Book" NSFW warnings. Just imagine an
elephant mounting a canary and you get the general idea.
"Well, life's a bitch n' then you marry one. Alls you know now is you're goin' into the bar tonight to get just fuckin'
interplanetary." - Wayne (Letterkenny)
"This is the water and this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, dark within." The Woodsman
CM Crunk
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1695
Registered 7-20-2011 Member Is Offline
Mood: Unpresidented
posted on 7-4-2017 at 01:28 AM
quote:Originally posted by janerd75
quote:Originally posted by CM Crunk
I still can't tell the difference between Alexa Bliss and Apollo Crews' entrance themes.
I have a gif for that, but I don't think it would fly even with Grover-esque "Monster At The End of This Book" NSFW warnings. Just imagine an
elephant mounting a canary and you get the general idea.
Poor Mr. Marcus gets cheated out of an easy gif royalty.
edit: Kudos on the new avatar. Had a little mini markout moment doing DDP Yoga the other day when Dallas dropped a "that's not a bad thing,
that's a GOOD thing!"
[Edited on 7/4/2017 by CM Crunk]
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7446
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Online
Mood: ChinceMcMahon
posted on 7-4-2017 at 01:30 AM
That's a huge bitch, King.
And keep the Alexa gifs clean, boys. I've had enough of the things I believed in being ruined here.
[Edited on 7/4/2017 by Paddlefoot]
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
janerd75
The Great One
Posts 3879
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: Juan Trick Pony
posted on 7-4-2017 at 01:39 AM
quote:Originally posted by CM Crunk
quote:Originally posted by janerd75
quote:Originally posted by CM Crunk
I still can't tell the difference between Alexa Bliss and Apollo Crews' entrance themes.
I have a gif for that, but I don't think it would fly even with Grover-esque "Monster At The End of This Book" NSFW warnings. Just imagine an
elephant mounting a canary and you get the general idea.
Poor Mr. Marcus gets cheated out of an easy gif royalty.
edit: Kudos on the new avatar. Had a little mini markout moment doing DDP Yoga the other day when Dallas dropped a "that's not a bad thing,
that's a GOOD thing!"
Many thanks. Had an epiphjanny with the avs of tonight's posters. They tell an interesting story...
Also, anyone else hearing the sound of dozens of racquetballs dropped off a building and into a big metal bucket when Booker really gets going? No,
just me? Well alright then.
"Well, life's a bitch n' then you marry one. Alls you know now is you're goin' into the bar tonight to get just fuckin'
interplanetary." - Wayne (Letterkenny)
"This is the water and this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, dark within." The Woodsman
Il Palazzo
Showstopper
Posts 503
Registered 2-25-2006 Location Cheddar Bay, NC Member Is Offline
Mood: Stepladder
posted on 7-4-2017 at 01:59 AM
Hey look, a talk show segment that isn't going to force me to switch to Preacher for the next hour! Also because I'd rather just hold off
and watch it on demand at a later point, but still. No shit guests! Instead, the all-time greats Curtis Axel and Bo Diddley!
You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.
janerd75
The Great One
Posts 3879
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: Juan Trick Pony
posted on 7-4-2017 at 02:07 AM
quote:Originally posted by Il Palazzo
Hey look, a talk show segment that isn't going to force me to switch to Preacher for the next hour! Also because I'd rather just hold off
and watch it on demand at a later point, but still. No shit guests! Instead, the all-time greats Curtis Axel and Bo Diddley!
Here are a few more reasons...
But WHY was it a shit segment last week, Monicas?
But WHY do they not mention Renee?!?
But WHY is Maryse not returning my calls, fanmail, Twatters, e-mails, and requests for "samples".
ETA: Also, I see we're in now in the Schrodinger's Douchebag Era of WWE programming now that social media allows us to call them out on
their stupid shit like the Bayley 'This Is Your Life' and 'MizTV - Ball-In-Hoop Edition'.
1) Inception of a bad idea leading to...
2) Presentation of said bad idea leading to...
3) Negative reaction to said bad idea by everyfuckingone leading to...
4) Vince yelling at clouds, Bukkuke yelling at wrasslers he told to do it, Haitch shakeing his head and sending out...
5) WWE damage control performers - "Lol, that sure sucked, didn't it y'all?!?!"
[Edited on 7-4-2017 by janerd75]
"Well, life's a bitch n' then you marry one. Alls you know now is you're goin' into the bar tonight to get just fuckin'
interplanetary." - Wayne (Letterkenny)
"This is the water and this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, dark within." The Woodsman
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7446
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Online
Mood: ChinceMcMahon
posted on 7-4-2017 at 02:25 AM
The evolution of Kevin Dunn from Kevin Dunn to bucky beaver motherfucker to bukukky to catamite is surely worth it's inclusion in the
Wankipedia, one would think.
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
Il Palazzo
Showstopper
Posts 503
Registered 2-25-2006 Location Cheddar Bay, NC Member Is Offline
Mood: Stepladder
posted on 7-4-2017 at 02:26 AM
Well, a mix of "this sucks" and talking about how big a deal it was without necessarily explaining WHY. Also, I'm now kind of wanting the era
of the Raw/RAM Guest Host to return. There's something wonderful about a rotating collection of non-wrestlers coming in and shitting it up. Of
course, if they brought that concept back, I'd fucking hate it.
Edit: Also, Bo has now begun a metamorphosis into X-Pac apparently. X-Pac with a single glove.
[Edited on 7-4-2017 by Il Palazzo]
You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.
janerd75
The Great One
Posts 3879
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: Juan Trick Pony
posted on 7-4-2017 at 02:35 AM
I would love the return of guest GMs if they kept it to fans like Jon Stewart and Seth Green or a great sport like Huge Jacked Man. It's the
awkward types with little to no knowledge of the product or oversellers that think everything wrasslin' is just yelling and mean muggin'
that need to stay away.
"Well, life's a bitch n' then you marry one. Alls you know now is you're goin' into the bar tonight to get just fuckin'
interplanetary." - Wayne (Letterkenny)
"This is the water and this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, dark within." The Woodsman
Il Palazzo
Showstopper
Posts 503
Registered 2-25-2006 Location Cheddar Bay, NC Member Is Offline
Mood: Stepladder
posted on 7-4-2017 at 02:39 AM
That's basically my stance. I think I did enjoy the occasional bad host, but there were probably more that were just bad rather than ones that
transcended bad to some level of bad that absolutely beautiful.
You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.
Count Zero
The Rowdy One
Posts 2204
Registered 1-29-2013 Location Canada East Member Is Offline
Mood: Weeneedoo
posted on 7-4-2017 at 02:39 AM
quote:Originally posted by CM Crunk
I still can't tell the difference between Alexa Bliss and Apollo Crews' entrance themes.
OH MY GOD.
I'm late to the party, cuz fucking drive-through fast food is anything but, sometimes. Anywho, I'm watching on pvr, and just got the
Alexa Blisstrance music, and came to say EXACTLY THE SAME FUCKING THING.
When Alexa's music starts, my brain finishes it with Apollo's. And I kinda like the result, because Not-Terry Crews Theme is
slightly better (to me) than Bliss-Music.
Il Palazzo
Showstopper
Posts 503
Registered 2-25-2006 Location Cheddar Bay, NC Member Is Offline
Mood: Stepladder
posted on 7-4-2017 at 02:51 AM
I'd forgotten that Curt Hawkins was on RAM. Or in WWE. At least that wasn't part of another cruiserweight segment.
You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.
janerd75
The Great One
Posts 3879
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: Juan Trick Pony
posted on 7-4-2017 at 02:55 AM
Seth and Bray should just have a combined entrance song now...
"Well, life's a bitch n' then you marry one. Alls you know now is you're goin' into the bar tonight to get just fuckin'
interplanetary." - Wayne (Letterkenny)
"This is the water and this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, dark within." The Woodsman
Count Zero
The Rowdy One
Posts 2204
Registered 1-29-2013 Location Canada East Member Is Offline
Mood: Weeneedoo
posted on 7-4-2017 at 03:09 AM
I rather like Talk Talk. If that can be somebody's entrance theme, let's do it!
"It's a WWE tradition, to do something un-right." --Paddlefoot
Il Palazzo
Showstopper
Posts 503
Registered 2-25-2006 Location Cheddar Bay, NC Member Is Offline
Mood: Stepladder
posted on 7-4-2017 at 03:20 AM
Uggggggggh, Red Dead Redemption 2 is going to be so boring.
You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.
janerd75
The Great One
Posts 3879
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: Juan Trick Pony
posted on 7-4-2017 at 03:22 AM
Oh goody, this shit agayn. Where's Daniel Salazar when you need him?
ETA: Speaking of entrance music, FINN'S HERE!!!
[Edited on 7-4-2017 by janerd75]
"Well, life's a bitch n' then you marry one. Alls you know now is you're goin' into the bar tonight to get just fuckin'
interplanetary." - Wayne (Letterkenny)
"This is the water and this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, dark within." The Woodsman
Can they just turn him back into Husky Harris already? 
And I kinda like the result, because Not-Terry Crews Theme is
slightly better (to me) than Bliss-Music. 
