The Online Onslaught Forums


By contributing to Online Onslaught, you'll help make sure we're around for years to come. Toss us as little as a few bucks, or as much as your generosity allows. Thanks!

Last active: Never Not logged in [Login - Register]

Printable Version |
Subscribe | Add to Favorites
New Topic New Poll New Reply
Author: Subject: 2009 bOOardies - The Winning-ing
williamssl
Steers and Queers






Posts 2619
Registered 1-11-2004
Location Hippieville
Member Is Online

Mood: Fuck USC

posted on 1-23-2010 at 09:11 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
2009 bOOardies - The Winning-ing

All good things must come to a close. And things that weren't good either.

Bringing us to the point literally HANDFULLS of us have been anxiously awaiting - the crowning of the winners in our 2009 bOOardies!!




Lifetime (Un)Achievement: LuckyLopez

Poster of the Year: ChrisIsGood517

Breakthrough Poster of the Year: paddlefoot

Jackass: cumstain187

Feud: cumstain187 vs. Everyone at OO

Avatar: LuckyLopez' Kurt Angle clown

Flame: SCSA's Douchey Video on ArmyofOne

Post: JMD's Fuck the Yankees

Wrestling Thread: TNAs Mess aka Holy Crap Hogan

Off-Topic Thread: Twilight now with avatar party

Trainwreck Thread(s): G.I. Joe Movie Thread and Honor Sharkira Week By Going Sharking with Tex (RIP SHARKIRA WEEK '09)



That was a fun little walk down memory lane and looking back on the past year+.

Thanks all for playing, voting, commenting, campaigning, etc.

[Edited on 1-24-2010 by williamssl]





Don't Mess With Texas

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
DrBoz
Showstopper






Posts 836
Registered 1-2-2006
Location Indiana
Member Is Offline

Mood: Crescent Fresh

posted on 1-23-2010 at 10:47 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Congrats all. Even you Paddle.

Glad all this is over though. Lost sleep trying to come up with shit to post. On a positive note, I'm totally getting the hang of BB code. Time to update the 'ol resume!





"I guess my heaviest experience is gravity...keeps my feet down...it's like weighing me down...I can't get my arms up now...like my legs fall...I'm falling down and I can't...it's making me heavier...I'm heavier...I can't move...Now I'm a dead dog in water...I can't...I'm floating but I sink to the water...I'm a wet sandwich...wet with meat...I'm broken salami...tiny mustaches are heavy...I'm falling...."

- Chester from Sifl and Olly

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Chris Is Good517







Posts 8033
Registered 1-10-2002
Location Little Rock, AR
Member Is Offline

Mood: OMG #1 Poster!

posted on 1-24-2010 at 07:53 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
*squeals like a girl, does a victory lap around the living room, answers "uh... nothing" to wife's inquiry "what the hell...?", wrings hands excitedly, desperately tries to regain composure*

Wow... thank you, guys. There are a lot of great posters on this board. I am not one of them.

Seriously: this honestly means a lot to me. Over the years I've given a lot of time and shared a lot of myself with you guys, and over the last year or two especially I've made a lot of effort to improve the quality and content of my posts and its really thrilling to get some recognition for that. Sure, a lot of my posts are still pretty lowbrow dick jokes or one-liners that seem brilliant when I hit "post reply" that I realize five seconds later are something that even a second grader would roll his eyes at. But I feel like I contributed a lot of good discussion over 2009 and to win this award- especially considering that my competition was Lucky, who is easily a bajillionty times the poster I will ever be on my best day- I'm not going to lie, its pretty damn exhilarating.

I could gush forever about happy I am to win this, but I need to give some recognition where it is due. So I would like to thank the following:

Rick, for making all of this possible.

God, for making me both awesome and ruggedly handsome.

My family, for� something.

SCSA, borntorun, Tex, punker, Foreskin, angst, OpTard, AJ, Lucky, THM, moose, Solly, gooker, Goon, Boz, Doc B, Doc Muerto, Krydor, Sal, Pun, folby, blackdragon, BBMN, Shaggy, madiq, Thom, AA, Stu, nOOb, DevSop, loki, Bones, Bulldog, niles, Army, Matte, Riot, OOMike, flammable, S Kid, whyme, drift, Tommy, paddlefoot, Fuzzy, DK Broiler, FLW, HBKing, C. Montgomery Punk, the mods, and everyone else who I�ve been able to interact with and play off of over the last 8(!) years here. If I missed anyone I swear to God its nothing personal, you just need to post more, or are FistHiccups, who is a dick. Except for you, Mark Markham. Fuck you, you homophobic cuntrag.

Everyone who has been a part of WWE and/or TNA and/or ROH over the last 25 years, for making sure there was always something here to be discussed, whether current or retro. Except for you, Hogan, you orange fuck. And you, Juventud Guerrera. Meh.

Starbucks, for your tasty if overpriced frappuccinos.

Facebook, for giving me an avenue to realize all the hot girls from high school I was still masturbating to fantasies of had all gained 150 pounds.

Xbox Live, for wasting all of my free time that doesn�t get wasted on here.

That drunk 50 year-old woman at the Electric Cowboy that one time that grabbed my ass and made me feel sexy for five minutes, and the 22 year-old overweight girl with bad acne and a clubfoot that ended up blowing me at her apartment that night while her dog watched. Don�t judge me, fuckers, after so many Irish Car Bombs, you would have gone home with her too.

Irish Car Bombs.

Family Guy, for teaching me that its OK to be the complete opposite of funny, and even then sometimes people will still love you if other people tell them its cool to do so.

Arm & Hammer for developing a litter that scoops easily while helping the house maintain a fresh, clean smell that my cat and I both love.

Tim Tebow, for teaching me how to believe in love again.

Sam Adams, for making delicious, delicious beer.

Al Davis, for countless instances of smug schadenfreude, and especially for wasting first round draft picks on both JaMarcus Russell and Darrius Heyward-Bey.

Anyone with tits. Even fat dudes. Tits are tits. I ain�t hatin�.

How I Met Your Mother. That show rules so hard. Marshall reminds me of me, but he�s a lot taller.

Rice-A-Roni, for truly being the San Francisco treat.

Sarah Palin, for making me feel 150% less creepy about imaging what it might be like to anal fuck somebody with severe mental retardation.

The color purple. Not the movie, the actual color. It pleases my eyes.

Video-camera friendly but also attractive lesbians, for obvious reasons.

The movie Mean Girls. Seriously, if you don�t love that movie why haven�t you killed yourself yet?

Asian girls. Yum!

York peppermint patties. Also yum!

And this YouTube clip:


HA!! That is literally what I sound like playing video games, minus the funny accent.

I�m going to spend 2010 doing everything in my power to be better than I was in 2009. Better wrestling threads, better college football threads, better video game threads, better zany antics in Who Wants to Stay Up All Night Drinking? (I�m totally responsible for that thread, BTW). Seriously, thank you to everyone who voted for me and even to those who didn�t. I love all of you. Here�s to 12 more months of awesome. God bless.





The OOficial 2009 Poster of the Year!

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member   Chris+Is+Good517 's Aim   Chris+Is+Good517 's Yahoo
LuckyLopez
Reeks of WCW






Posts 11675
Registered 2-13-2003
Member Is Offline

Mood:

posted on 1-25-2010 at 12:33 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I was robbed!

Nah, CiG is awesome. I genuinely think he's a better poster than me because I basically do one thing well, long posts, and I don't do them as well as some others. CiG can be trusted to give a valuable and intelligent opinion, hold up his own in an extended debate, give a witty one liner at the right moment, or flame the guy who needs to be flamed. He's a much fuller poster and I'm happy to lose to him.

Thanks for the Lifetime Achievement win. Lots of thanks for the Av win. This will sound cocky as all hell but I kind of figured Lifetime Achievement was a given. Its not so much of an "award for quality" as it is a gold watch. I was in a heated contest for it 2 years ago and CiG is really the only guy left who has been around for as long as I have with generally positive and active contributions. So I just figured I was gonna get my gold watch so I could move aside for the next guy because its the nature of the award. Regardless, I appreciate it a ton and I don't mean to sound cocky. Its not that I don't appreciate the sentiment but rather that I got the message in 2007 when I narrowly lost to Moose. I was really honored then that I was deemed in such high standing. Of course then Moose won and it lost a lot of standing.

But the av win really makes me happy. Believe it or not, 4 years ago I told myself "I'm winning the Avatar of the Year!" I made it a goal because I thought it was a really valuable part of messageboarding that I had never really gotten the hang of. Its not that I wanted a messageboard award, its that I wanted to grow as a poster, and the visually enjoyable nature of "award winning" avs is a big part of message boarding. I've long been the guy who writes "long and intelligent posts." Or the guy who "makes a sensible and fair comment." And I take pride in having that reputation and always feel bad when I don't properly represent it.

But what I've never been is the sharply witty sort of poster BtR or punker are. Or that guy like SCSA who knows the really funny or perfect image or link that everyone will crack up over. The guy who makes those elaborate joke posts that people will read over and over again because they're awesome. or get a smile every time they see a new post because the av is just as enjoyable as it was the first time. Months before the award winning flame on Army was made I sent the link to that movie making website to SCSA because I knew he'd do more with it than I could. That's not me trying to take any kind of credit for the brilliance of that flame, that's me acknowledging that I'm not half as funny or witty as he is and when I got that link I knew there were two possibilities for it. (1) Start a thread in Parts Unknown where dozens upon dozens of people would make mediocre or unfunny ones with a few stand outs until the joke finally got run into the ground and was ruined forever. Or (2) give it to someone funnier than me who would know what to do with it and when to use it. And he didn't disappoint me in one little bit.

So my point is, I've never been that guy who was commended for his flames or jokes or avs. And I throw avs in there because its those visually hilarious avs that we remember. So I really wanted to win this thing as a sort of message to myself that I was capable of doing that, even if it wasn't my claim to fame. I didn't want to cycle through overused messageboard avs or anything like that. That's shameless and wouldn't be me. I just wanted to find that one av that amused others like it amused me. Muttley didn't do the job 2 years ago but I had high hopes for Kurt the Clown the second I saw that trailer.

Now I can retire Kurt and rest easy in the knowledge that I can entertain people outside my wheelbarrow. In honor of it I'm going to bring back some of the avs I hoped would win this from years past so we can all celebrate in this victory.

From the award ceremony that gave me my goal.






Used immediately after RVD and Sabu's arrest.


Me hoping to capitalize on Infinite Crisis.















And finally, my favorite and the guy who I'll take back up now that Kurt can go away.


We did it, guys. We finally did it.

[Edited on 1-24-2010 by LuckyLopez]

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member   LuckyLopez 's Aim
borntorun
God of This World






Posts -8768
Registered 7-22-2003
Location Hitlervania
Member Is Offline

Mood: Vampire, P.I.

posted on 1-25-2010 at 01:04 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Big congrats to Lucky and Chris. Both are well-deserved.

The best thing about this? Lucky has less of a chance at being a single-year triple crown winner! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And thanks for organizing this, Big Williams Style.





Fake McCoy Comics

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member   borntorun 's Aim
LuckyLopez
Reeks of WCW






Posts 11675
Registered 2-13-2003
Member Is Offline

Mood:

posted on 1-25-2010 at 01:15 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Clearly I just need to hone my flaming skills so I can nab Flame, Av, and Poster next year! TRIPLE CROWN IN 2010!
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member   LuckyLopez 's Aim
punkerhardcore
The Great One






Posts 3254
Registered 7-16-2005
Member Is Online

Mood: Lickable

posted on 1-25-2010 at 01:23 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LuckyLopez
Clearly I just need to hone my flaming skills so I can nab Flame, Av, and Poster next year! TRIPLE CROWN IN 2010!



I'd say you're enough of a flamer already.


OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, fucking burned, son.

Here's you right now:




Everyone vote for this for Flame of the Year, 2010!





Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
--MySpace makes me way cool too.

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
LuckyLopez
Reeks of WCW






Posts 11675
Registered 2-13-2003
Member Is Offline

Mood:

posted on 1-25-2010 at 02:38 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Please. If I could fold over like that I wouldn't have any need to go out on a Saturday night.


OH! See what I did? I deflected your flame!

By suggesting I suck dick?

Crap... I do stink at this.

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member   LuckyLopez 's Aim
DrBoz
Showstopper






Posts 836
Registered 1-2-2006
Location Indiana
Member Is Offline

Mood: Crescent Fresh

posted on 1-25-2010 at 03:09 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Not just any dick. Your OWN dick. Which would be awesome.

If anyone disagrees, they are lying liars. Because everyone knows sucking your own dick is totally not gay.





"I guess my heaviest experience is gravity...keeps my feet down...it's like weighing me down...I can't get my arms up now...like my legs fall...I'm falling down and I can't...it's making me heavier...I'm heavier...I can't move...Now I'm a dead dog in water...I can't...I'm floating but I sink to the water...I'm a wet sandwich...wet with meat...I'm broken salami...tiny mustaches are heavy...I'm falling...."

- Chester from Sifl and Olly

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
JMD
Rated R Superstar






Posts 323
Registered 6-25-2006
Member Is Offline

Mood:

posted on 1-25-2010 at 03:55 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DrBoz
Not just any dick. Your OWN dick. Which would be awesome.

If anyone disagrees, they are lying liars. Because everyone knows sucking your own dick is totally not gay.


Of course it's not gay. Because you're getting your dick sucked. Ain't nothin' gay about getting your dick sucked.

Oh, and I'm really excited about winning Post of the year, especially considering I'm far from a regular and it puts my name next to a lot of people who are far ahead of anything I could contribute to the board. My goal for 2010 is to win (or hell, steal) another one and then roll around town with two cheap looking statuettes, Owen Hart style.

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
borntorun
God of This World






Posts -8768
Registered 7-22-2003
Location Hitlervania
Member Is Offline

Mood: Vampire, P.I.

posted on 1-25-2010 at 03:59 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LuckyLopez
Clearly I just need to hone my flaming skills so I can nab Flame, Av, and Poster next year! TRIPLE CROWN IN 2010!


I'm going to campaign for you for Jackass of the year. Expect me to troll you during 2010, quoting you out of context, and responding with the one word of "Jackass."

Then I will get Flame of the Year.





Fake McCoy Comics

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member   borntorun 's Aim
Operation Retard
Beats me, I'm gay!






Posts 2856
Registered 1-4-2002
Member Is Offline

Mood:

posted on 1-25-2010 at 08:03 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
i'm gonna do the same thing with cory.

except there's also gonna be buttsex involved.

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member   Operation+Retard 's Aim
DrBoz
Showstopper






Posts 836
Registered 1-2-2006
Location Indiana
Member Is Offline

Mood: Crescent Fresh

posted on 1-26-2010 at 03:37 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Operation Retard
i'm gonna do the same thing with cory.

except there's also gonna be buttsex involved.


This post is useless without pictures.





"I guess my heaviest experience is gravity...keeps my feet down...it's like weighing me down...I can't get my arms up now...like my legs fall...I'm falling down and I can't...it's making me heavier...I'm heavier...I can't move...Now I'm a dead dog in water...I can't...I'm floating but I sink to the water...I'm a wet sandwich...wet with meat...I'm broken salami...tiny mustaches are heavy...I'm falling...."

- Chester from Sifl and Olly

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
outback jack
The Great One






Posts 3581
Registered 3-10-2003
Location not Australia
Member Is Offline

Mood: old

posted on 1-26-2010 at 05:11 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Congrats to all!
View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
atothej







Posts 2403
Registered 12-21-2002
Location Philly
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 1-27-2010 at 09:43 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
First off: congrats to all the winners, even the losers like cumstain.

Second: My campaign for poster of the year begins now. I'm gonna win one of these damn things!





Your momma's so fat, Dave Meltzer gave her struggling to put her jeans on in the morning five stars. -- FF, destroying Jeb, his momma, and Meltzer in one fell swoop.

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member   atothej 's Aim
TownOfDalem
Undisputibed Champion






Posts 453
Registered 10-4-2007
Location BU
Member Is Offline

Mood: A Funny Pun

posted on 1-27-2010 at 10:51 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
congrats to all. I want to be the first to nominate Chris's acceptance post for 2010 post of the year. That shit was hilarious. Comedy, then serious, then more comedy, then some chaos as he almost trainwrecks his own post then brings it home with just a touch more serious. Just awesome.





"I think Tim Wakefield would even say tonight that Tim Wakefield got to Tim Wakefield tonight."
-- Tim McCarver

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member   TownOfDalem 's Aim
gobbledygooker







Posts 3379
Registered 12-17-2002
Location Charlotte, NC
Member Is Offline

Mood: Bomb

posted on 1-29-2010 at 02:38 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by atothej

Second: My campaign for poster of the year begins now. I'm gonna win one of these damn things!


Get up to 3,000 posts then MAYBE we can talk.





Originally posted by punkerhardcore -

"Seriously, Rock Band > Guitar Hero. Guitar Hero is like the cute girl who makes out with you for the first time, which is awesome because it's new and exciting. Then Rock Band comes along and is like the chick who blows you your junior year of high school... and then that first girl just doesn't look quite so fun anymore."

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member
blackdragon
The Great One






Posts 3424
Registered 11-9-2003
Member Is Offline

Mood: Awesome

posted on 1-29-2010 at 09:58 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Congrats Chris. If it couldn't be Lucky, I'm glad it was you. And it doesn't hurt that I got a mention. Wow, has it really been 8 years since we started posting here? Sheesh, you got two kids and I have one on the way. We're getting old man, but fortunately, not too old for this shit.





A ho fucks everybody. A bitch fucks everybody but you.

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member
nOOb
The Rowdy One






Posts 2797
Registered 5-24-2004
Member Is Offline

Mood: Berries&Cre

posted on 2-7-2010 at 03:19 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Lucky, just FYI, this upcoming baseball season looks to be horrible for me. The Cubs have put together a team that looks like it'll be lucky to finish .500, I plan on drafting someone ridiculously higher than need be and then complaining about said person's performance whenever you start up the OO Fantasy Baseball League this year, and I'm working on having an inexplicable hatred for a player or team undeserving of it; plus, like I said, Cubs finishing at .500 probably means no playoffs, so there's something else.

I want me a bOOardie, and I don't even care if it's on the wrong side of a Feud of the Year bOOardie.





Everything about this girl is awesome. She's hot, she got kicked out of school for sucking too many dicks, she takes it in the ass and her body gives itself abortions. -Punker on Lilly Allen's Miscarriage

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member

New Topic New Poll New Reply


go to top


Powered by XMB 1.8 Partagium Final SP1
Developed By Aventure Media & The XMB Group � 2002
Processed in 0.4221501 seconds, 22 queries