By
contributing to Online
Onslaught,
you'll help make sure we're around for years to come. Toss us as little as
a few bucks, or as much as your generosity allows. Thanks!
Posts 793
Registered 12-4-2009 Location Oxnard, CA Member Is Offline
Mood: Jamming
posted on 8-30-2011 at 04:40 AM
What's a Lucky Lopez?
Inspired by this.
While watching this it made realize that several names here could be sex/acts. One name in particular that sounds like a weird sex act is �Lucky
Lopez�. Ok, so maybe it�s just a fun way of making fun of a guy that can�t defend himself because he�s in jail getting�.well, a Lucky Lopez. In any
case, it is the responsibility of this great community to settle the debate, what exactly is a Lucky Lopez? This is where you pervs come in. Come up
with the most logical, or maybe in this case, the worst, most disgusting/fun sex act you could think of. Is it a inverted Sanchez? Is it something
completely different? Its your call. Over time hopefully we will decide the best choice and place it in history at Urban Dictionary. Or if not, maybe
we can come up with some goofy ideas.
Some examples of what a Lucky Lopez could be...
1. the sexual act of face fucking someone and then shooting pepper spray in the eyes of the person doing the sucking. Then holding on for a long wild
ride.
2. taking a dump on your parteners facemid rim job, then you turnaround a skeet on their face forming a white unibrow.
3. Jerking off with one hand while trying to scratch lottery tickets with the other
Finish this sentence. A Lucky Lopez is�
Two time Winner for 2010 Breakthrough Poster of the Year Award. You read that right.
XBL Gamertag: JB KING
Flash
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1016
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Brantford, Ontario Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 8-30-2011 at 10:29 AM
I don't know what it "is", but I heard it involves an Ostrich, a Mint Julips, and several boxes of expired "Prostars" breakfast cereal. I
also heard there's a lot of screaming (in Norwegian) and feces throwing (a cat throwing variant is optional).
Legend has it that this has only been attempted twice before, once in 1977, and again in 2003, with both times leading to widespread blackouts.
angstboy
cornerkicked.com
Posts 4917
Registered 12-11-2002 Location Baltimore, MD Member Is Offline
Mood: CornerKicked
posted on 8-30-2011 at 06:40 PM
A Lucky Lopez is being a very involved and attentive date, getting the girl home, getting up to get a condom from the other room and then disappearing
forever.
Corner Kicked - a comic where Cory and Ziggy do inappropriate stuff to each other.
Paddlefoot
Posts 1977
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Circus Of Gay Member Is Offline
Mood: F'd N Da A
posted on 8-31-2011 at 02:05 AM
You get naked with a ladyperson who has long flowing hair. You tightly wrap a handful of her hair like a scarf around your pulsating member. You then
proceed to vigourously masturbate using her hair as a Fleshlite-like stimulant for your throbbing awesomeness, and then you finish off by wildly
ejaculating all over the side and/or back of her head. Awwww, yeah.......
GW Bush read Camus because "everyone has to read a book written by a killer whale" - General JC Christian
I downloaded the soundtrack to "Song of the South," and it's 45 minutes of whipcracks, women pleading "please, no," and people screaming.
- the esteemed Dr. Mobute
When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir? - John Maynard Keynes
williamssl
Steers and Queers
Posts 4317
Registered 1-11-2004 Location Hippieville Member Is Offline
Mood: Fuck USC
posted on 8-31-2011 at 03:25 AM
I don't want to hear about you and Lucky's mom anymore.
Don't Mess With Texas
Katie Vick killer
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1731
Registered 8-25-2003 Location w/ Randall Member Is Offline
Mood: Chin locked
posted on 9-1-2011 at 01:30 PM
You shove a coin up your ass and then force it out, if it lands heads you recieve head and if it lands tails you pony up and eat some ass!
GW Bush read Camus because "everyone has to read a book written by a killer whale" - General JC Christian
I downloaded the soundtrack to "Song of the South," and it's 45 minutes of whipcracks, women pleading "please, no," and people screaming.
- the esteemed Dr. Mobute
When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir? - John Maynard Keynes
Thom
The Great One
Posts 3660
Registered 1-14-2003 Location Amazingville Member Is Offline
Mood: Awesome
posted on 9-1-2011 at 03:45 PM
Lucky Lopez: The act of getting your Prince Albert locked in some other dude's ass-piercing.
"I'm actually not wearing pants, and that's how I watch NXT every single week." - CM Punk
http://www.myspace.com/bassmantar
JB KING
Posts 793
Registered 12-4-2009 Location Oxnard, CA Member Is Offline
Mood: Jamming
posted on 9-2-2011 at 04:51 PM
A Lucky Lopez is masturbating so many times you lose count, draining any and all fluids in your system. So you then grab your partner and continue
masturbating one last time, you have 5 minutes to "shoot" thier face while asking if they feel lucky. If you cannot finish in time, then you get
your salad tossed.
Two time Winner for 2010 Breakthrough Poster of the Year Award. You read that right.
XBL Gamertag: JB KING
salmonjunkie
American Dream
Posts 8338
Registered 6-25-2002 Location Sunny Seattle, WA Member Is Offline
Mood: charged
posted on 9-2-2011 at 09:47 PM
A Lucky Lopez is when you use a baseball bat to ass-fuck someone and as they're getting an orgasm, you hit them in the back of the head with the
same baseball bat.
Personally, I think he�s a [freaking homosexual].
williamssl
Steers and Queers
Posts 4317
Registered 1-11-2004 Location Hippieville Member Is Offline
Mood: Fuck USC
posted on 9-2-2011 at 09:54 PM
I do not want a Lucky Lopez.
Don't Mess With Texas
gobbledygooker
Sister Act 2
Posts 6069
Registered 12-17-2002 Location Charlotte, NC Member Is Offline
Mood: Opus Eponymous
posted on 9-2-2011 at 09:58 PM
quote:Originally posted by Katie Vick killer
You shove a coin up your ass and then force it out, if it lands heads you recieve head and if it lands tails you pony up and eat some ass!
I love how this makes the act of eating out someone's ass actually sound worse than sticking a coin up your own ass.
Actually...is it worse?
Anyone who lets their hair grow below their ears to where I can't see their ears means they don't wash. If they don't wash, they
stink, and if they stink, I don't want the son-of-a-bitch around me.
Paddlefoot
Posts 1977
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Circus Of Gay Member Is Offline
Mood: F'd N Da A
posted on 9-2-2011 at 10:19 PM
Much worse. No one's forcing you to toss the coin's salad.
GW Bush read Camus because "everyone has to read a book written by a killer whale" - General JC Christian
I downloaded the soundtrack to "Song of the South," and it's 45 minutes of whipcracks, women pleading "please, no," and people screaming.
- the esteemed Dr. Mobute
When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir? - John Maynard Keynes
another_luser
ButtViper
Posts 5
Registered 4-18-2009 Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 9-3-2011 at 02:41 AM
A Lucky Lopez is when, after a six-month stint in the �pokey�, your lady is jerking you off and you�re really into it �cuz you haven�t seen women
bOObies in so long that you forget what they�re like, and at the perfect moment you launch one of those giant, Peter North-esque distance shots that
hits you in the mouth, and then you throw up.
Chris Is Good517
Posts 10710
Registered 1-10-2002 Location Little Rock, AR Member Is Online
Mood: punchy
posted on 9-3-2011 at 02:45 AM
quote:Originally posted by another_luser
A Lucky Lopez is when, after a six-month stint in the �pokey�, your lady is jerking you off and you�re really into it �cuz you haven�t seen women
bOObies in so long that you forget what they�re like, and at the perfect moment you launch one of those giant, Peter North-esque distance shots that
hits you in the mouth, and then you throw up.
Welcome, rOOkie. I think you might just fit in here.
Gee, I wish I was still alive- LuckyLopez R.I.P.
Bachmann: "I haven't had a gaffe... when it comes to the best Republican who take
on Barack Obama and not have any clunker in my record to be able to take him on, it's me."
williamssl
Steers and Queers
Posts 4317
Registered 1-11-2004 Location Hippieville Member Is Offline
Mood: Fuck USC
posted on 9-3-2011 at 03:56 AM
By that he means his ass.
Don't Mess With Texas
Thom
The Great One
Posts 3660
Registered 1-14-2003 Location Amazingville Member Is Offline
Mood: Awesome
posted on 9-3-2011 at 12:06 PM
quote:Originally posted by another_luser
A Lucky Lopez is when, after a six-month stint in the �pokey�, your lady is jerking you off and you�re really into it �cuz you haven�t seen women
bOObies in so long that you forget what they�re like, and at the perfect moment you launch one of those giant, Peter North-esque distance shots that
hits you in the mouth, and then you throw up.
I like this. Um, I mean - your post - not the Lucky Lopez...
"I'm actually not wearing pants, and that's how I watch NXT every single week." - CM Punk
http://www.myspace.com/bassmantar
Flash
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1016
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Brantford, Ontario Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 9-3-2011 at 02:41 PM
Lucky Lopez;
Requires more than 4 people, a midget, and a dead skunk (preferably not fresh).
All participants are blindfolded and begin by ejaculating into a dead skunks ass, with whomever climaxes first having the "privilage" of grabbing
said skunk by the tail and swinging it around until its head comes off. Whomsoever the dead skunks head hits, gets to have their salad tossed by the
midget while all others must drink mightliy from the skunks ass.
If the midget is struck by the skunks head he gets $5.
nOOb
The Great One
Posts 3834
Registered 5-24-2004 Member Is Offline
Mood: Hot Dog!
posted on 9-3-2011 at 05:19 PM
You know, typically I'd say the midget's getting a raw deal, but then again, they can make $5 last for a long time, so I guess
it's worth the gamble for them.
Everything about this girl is awesome. She's hot, she got kicked out of school for sucking too many dicks, she takes it in the ass and her body
gives itself abortions. -Punker on Lilly Allen's Miscarriage
punkerhardcore
The Man
Posts 5057
Registered 7-15-2005 Member Is Online
Mood: Lickable
posted on 9-3-2011 at 05:39 PM
A Lucky Lopez is finding a nice girl, followed by composing a 10,000 word detailed, data-filled analysis of her... including, but not limited to, the
following sabermetrics--
-Bedding Average on Boys In Play (BABIP)
-Fingers Inside Pussy (FIP)
-Expected Fingers Inside Pussy (xFIP)
-Oral-pleasure Plus Sex (OPS)
-Late-night Pressure Situations (LIPS)
-Wanks Above Replacement (WAR)
-Value Over Replacement Pussy (VORP)
Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
A Lucky Lopez starts while you're giving it to someone doggy style (gender of the recipient is optional). Then you place your wireless keyboard
on his/her back and spend the next 2 and a half minutes (let's be realistic) typing out a post on OO. If you time hitting send with your climax,
that's a Lucky Lopez. You are then required to offer up your own asshole (or pussy if you're a girl, but then you're pegging and
that's technically a Plucky Lopez) for your partner to Lucky Lopez you (they must post in the same thread you did for it to count).
As for other posters... a mooseheadjack is when you take a couple of sips of a bottle of Canadian beer to prevent splashback, then you stick your dick
in it and have your partner give you a handjob around the bottle. You finish in the beer and both of you must share the resulting mixed drink.
(Obviously an outback jack is the same thing, just done with an Australian beer.)
A salmonjunkie is sadly no longer possible, as it requires the presence of Phil Hartman to provide his Troy McClure voice.
A bigfatgoalie is when you take a dump on the bedsheets in front of your partner, shape it into a puck, and try to shoot it (using your still hard
dick as the hockey stick) into your partner's open orifice (Orifice is of their choice.)
A Chris Is Good is anything that results in a pregnancy.
An Operation Retard is when you dress up in a catsuit, sneak into a mental hospital and/or group home, and start an orgy with at least 6 residents and
yourself participating.
A Blown Spot is when, while taking a facial, you dodge at the last second so none of the ejaculate hits any part of you, then you spend the next five
minutes shouting "You fucked up!" at your partner.
A ModSquad is when you watch other people have sex, decide they've done it poorly, and ban them from any future sex.
Chris Is Good517
Posts 10710
Registered 1-10-2002 Location Little Rock, AR Member Is Online
Mood: punchy
posted on 9-3-2011 at 09:41 PM
quote:Originally posted by JMD
A Lucky Lopez starts while you're giving it to someone doggy style (gender of the recipient is optional). Then you place your wireless keyboard
on his/her back and spend the next 2 and a half minutes (let's be realistic) typing out a post on OO. If you time hitting send with your climax,
that's a Lucky Lopez. You are then required to offer up your own asshole (or pussy if you're a girl, but then you're pegging and
that's technically a Plucky Lopez) for your partner to Lucky Lopez you (they must post in the same thread you did for it to count).
As for other posters... a mooseheadjack is when you take a couple of sips of a bottle of Canadian beer to prevent splashback, then you stick your dick
in it and have your partner give you a handjob around the bottle. You finish in the beer and both of you must share the resulting mixed drink.
(Obviously an outback jack is the same thing, just done with an Australian beer.)
A salmonjunkie is sadly no longer possible, as it requires the presence of Phil Hartman to provide his Troy McClure voice.
A bigfatgoalie is when you take a dump on the bedsheets in front of your partner, shape it into a puck, and try to shoot it (using your still hard
dick as the hockey stick) into your partner's open orifice (Orifice is of their choice.)
A Chris Is Good is anything that results in a pregnancy.
An Operation Retard is when you dress up in a catsuit, sneak into a mental hospital and/or group home, and start an orgy with at least 6 residents and
yourself participating.
A Blown Spot is when, while taking a facial, you dodge at the last second so none of the ejaculate hits any part of you, then you spend the next five
minutes shouting "You fucked up!" at your partner.
A ModSquad is when you watch other people have sex, decide they've done it poorly, and ban them from any future sex.
Fucking excellent, but you forgot to tell us... what's a DevilSoprano?
Gee, I wish I was still alive- LuckyLopez R.I.P.
Bachmann: "I haven't had a gaffe... when it comes to the best Republican who take
on Barack Obama and not have any clunker in my record to be able to take him on, it's me."
Flash
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1016
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Brantford, Ontario Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 9-3-2011 at 09:58 PM
quote:Originally posted by Chris Is Good517
... what's a DevilSoprano?
I'd be careful with that one; the FBI may mistake all those wooden puppets for real boys
Paddlefoot
Posts 1977
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Circus Of Gay Member Is Offline
Mood: F'd N Da A
posted on 9-3-2011 at 10:23 PM
If they have internet access in prison and click on OO, Lucky's cell mates would probably get a good laugh out of all of this. Even moreso after
they've finished raping him. Again.
GW Bush read Camus because "everyone has to read a book written by a killer whale" - General JC Christian
I downloaded the soundtrack to "Song of the South," and it's 45 minutes of whipcracks, women pleading "please, no," and people screaming.
- the esteemed Dr. Mobute
When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir? - John Maynard Keynes
The Riot Act
Hot, Spicy, ICHIBAN!!!
Posts 1572
Registered 7-31-2006 Location Canada Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 9-3-2011 at 11:50 PM
I feel like all this thread is missing is one really good "Aristocrats" joke, only with "Lucky Lopez" in place of the original punchline.
In the meantime...
quote:Originally posted by punkerhardcore
A Lucky Lopez is finding a nice girl, followed by composing a 10,000 word detailed, data-filled analysis of her... including, but not limited to, the
following sabermetrics--
-Bedding Average on Boys In Play (BABIP)
-Fingers Inside Pussy (FIP)
-Expected Fingers Inside Pussy (xFIP)
-Oral-pleasure Plus Sex (OPS)
-Late-night Pressure Situations (LIPS)
-Wanks Above Replacement (WAR)
-Value Over Replacement Pussy (VORP)