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Subject: Eva Marie: Worthless*, Can't Understand Normal Thinking? Discuss.
janerd75
The Immortal One
Posts 4045
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: #MOOGA
posted on 4-24-2015 at 09:13 PM
Eva Marie: Worthless*, Can't Understand Normal Thinking? Discuss.
*Well, that clown college hair of hers is. I'm doing extensive research on everything else and I'll report back on what I find.
May take a while, though. Do you know how difficult it is to type with your dick? Soooo much easier if I had two.
"It will happen when it happens and not a moment before." - Me
Disappointed you haven't unearthed some actual porn, you freak of nature.
"She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted."
"The powers of the president to protect our country are very substantial and will not be questioned."
--- Stephen Miller, Trump senior White House advisor, Feb. 12, 2017
Columbo
Showstopper
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Registered 11-2-2004 Location @columbo527 Member Is Offline
Mood: GodDamnWOOO
posted on 4-27-2015 at 08:49 PM
I just cant get past the stupid hair.
"The North Cafeteria, named after Admiral William North, is located in the western portion of East Hall, gateway to the western half of North Hall,
which is named, not after William North, but for its position above the South Wall. It is the most contested and confusing battlefield on Greendale�s
campus, next to the English Memorial Spanish Center, named after English Memorial, a Portuguese sailor that discovered Greendale while looking for a
fountain that cured syphilis."
janerd75
The Immortal One
Posts 4045
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: #MOOGA
posted on 4-27-2015 at 09:07 PM
Maybe it's Maybelline, maybe it's her not having that hideously awful red hair, but holy guacamole is she hot as fuck. I only was
semi-aware of her seeming lack of sentience from the reviews of TWOODNAAVE and have no real knowledge of her in-ring capabilities. But again...Hot.
As. Fuck. Shame the reviews for Total Divas went up in smoke. I think the guy that used to do them went full obtuse. Man, you never go full obtuse.
To her credit (I guess?) I ain't found no nudes except for some so-so fakes. NSFW, of
course.
To assuage my shame for not finding any actual Eva Marie nudes, here's a bonus NSFW AJ fake.
"It will happen when it happens and not a moment before." - Me
Posts 11846
Registered 6-25-2002 Location Sunny Seattle, WA Member Is Offline
Mood: Authoritized
posted on 4-28-2015 at 02:06 AM
She is HOT as a brunette. The red hair doesn't work for her. I don't even dislike the color itself, but it does not work for her at all.
Not for her skin tone and facial structure.
Yum.
Laruecifer
Fella
Posts 266
Registered 1-16-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: stoneded
posted on 4-28-2015 at 05:12 PM
quote:Originally posted by janerd75
To assuage my shame for not finding any actual Eva Marie nudes, here's a bonus NSFW AJ fake.
It's still real to me, dammit!
punkerhardcore
American Dream
Posts 7963
Registered 7-16-2005 Member Is Offline
Mood: Lickable
posted on 4-28-2015 at 05:35 PM
Your mileage may vary, I guess. Granted, she looks way better without the red hair, and her ass looks great in that photo, but her face still looks
sorta meh to me. Plus, she looks like any other dime a dozen wannabe famous gal.
Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7665
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Online
Mood: ChinceMcMahon
posted on 4-28-2015 at 05:56 PM
She's a quality throwback to the era where girls like Molly Holly got released so they could make room for all the Diva Search contestants. Yes,
they're hot but, no, I really don't want to see them take up three or four years inside the ring because they're
'improving'.
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
PyroFalkon
Fella
Posts 453
Registered 11-17-2004 Location Xenia, Ohio Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 4-30-2015 at 04:00 AM
Not that anyone asked, but just to add my two cents, I am rather shameful to admit that Eva Marie is my current favorite in the "Pretend I'm a
total asshole and completely objectify the woman" category, the spot previously taken by Melina and then Rosa Mendes. I don't mind the red
hair; hell, I even like it. There's apparently something about that exact body size and type that really gets me, sort of like how my favorite
porn stars are Asa Akira and Breanne Benson. And now, I have overshared.
That said: yes, the brown hair, please. But I'd still rather have her off my TV (as she is) in favor of Naomi, Natalya, Paige, and the other
ring-capable women on the roster. Eva Maria is just peaches to look at, but I watch WWE for wrestling, damnit!
Did I ever tell you that you're my hero, Janerd?
OORick
The Sky is a Neighborhood
Posts 3706
Registered 12-27-2001 Location - The Birthplace of Aviation Member Is Offline
Mood: Armstrong'd~!
posted on 4-30-2015 at 05:32 AM
quote:Originally posted by Paddlefoot
She's a quality throwback to the era where girls like Molly Holly got released so they could make room for all the Diva Search contestants.
To be clear, Molly didn't "get" released in the sense that WWE performed the pro-active releasing. She actually asked to be released.
The trajectory of the women's division was something she was probably tuned into, so the Diva Search played into that, but Molly preceeded the
rest of the Diva Exodus. I think Jazz had already been more pro-actively released, but Trish, Lita, and Victoria will still going.
Molly actually revealed later that she left because of a cancer scare and how that made her reassess the way she was making use of her time.
She'd always been a painfully good and generous person. Realizing life is finite made her even moreso (and here I am, after the Pancreas Growth
and the Whipple Procedure, and I'm still a heathen atheist who puts himself on par with others; maybe not ahead of them, but I also don't
put others ahead of me; a decade later, and Molly makes me feel like an asshole).... so she walked away, got into missionary work abroad and then the
community service stuff at home, and going back to WWE was never an option, because WWE is full time.
I'm sure if community service grossed $200 million in its opening weekend, WWE would have accommodated her, but it doesn't, and so while
everybody said the nice things about the door always being open, Molly was never going to walk through it.
So now you know.... the rest of the story.
But since this thread is about Eva Marie, I really do have to quit being all snooty and superior about how I have unimpeachable taste in women who are
not only very pretty but also super nice... I hereby admit that, yes, Molly Holly is better and you're a terrible person if you disagree, but:
Holy Shit, Brunette Eva Marie is Actually Super Hot.
I'm not feigning this surprise.
I am massively confused by fellow guys who are so focused on a specific trait that they stop appreciating the Whole Woman. "I'm a leg man." Or
"Well, she'd be hot, if she bought some boobs. Flatty McFlatflat." Or "Wow, did you see her feet? I'm so happy it's sandal
season!" Or "No, not her, I only do long-haired blondes." You get the picture. Anyone who has ever said any one of those things (or things
analogous to them) has failed at Having A Wang, as far as I'm concerned. You're not into the latest shopping trip, and you're not
into the hour of prettying up before she goes out, you're into the WOMAN. To say nothing of the shoe fetish, Captain Footjob...
I digress. Point is, I have a long history of INCLUDING many women in my Eligibility Pool because I have no real "presence of" requirements. You
don't have to be SPECIFICALLY this (specific body part), or SPECIFICALLY that (specific hairstyle). You just have to be generally desirable, and
I will be able to see it, and I will desire it, because I am a discriminating connoisseur of fine women. It's OK to have a particular strength,
and it's OK if I notice it first, but we really are running an overall algorithm, here.
But this whole thing with Eva Marie makes me realize that I was EXCLUDING her because of a SINGLE "presence of" issue. That damned clown hair, which
has never looked good on anyone, and since I'm not some cosplay weirdo, it's so alien to me so as to be an actual turn-off. That's
probably not fair to her. But I did it. And it turns out, I was very, very wrong.
Apologies to Pyro, who I just massively disagreed with, but take solace in this tidbit: I saw this thread and never opened it until tonight, when I
saw the last post was by PyroFalkon. YOU were interesting enough to me to make me interested in Eva Marie. Up until then, I had just assumed this was
another thread with all too many animated gifs, and not enough hot.
Because I didn't know Eva Marie was anywhere near that hot.
For her next trick, I'd love it if it turned out that I didn't know Eva Marie was anywhere near that capable at her, you know?, job...
Rick
janerd75
The Immortal One
Posts 4045
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: #MOOGA
posted on 4-30-2015 at 08:27 AM
quote:Originally posted by PyroFalkon
Did I ever tell you that you're my hero, Janerd?
I'm the hero OO deserves, but not the one it needs right now. It don't get any more Janerd than
this. God bless, P-Falk.
quote:Originally posted by OORick
quote:Originally posted by Paddlefoot
She's a quality throwback to the era where girls like Molly Holly got released so they could make room for all the Diva Search contestants.
To be clear, Molly didn't "get" released......and so while everybody said the nice things about the door always being open, Molly was
never going to walk through it.
So now you know.... the rest of the story.
BWAHAHAHA, the bOOss just called you out ass sniffer! So tighten it up rummy and quit screwing around or else you'll get one of these:
quote:Originally posted by OORick
Up until then, I had just assumed this was another thread with all too many animated gifs
, and not enough hot.
quote:Originally posted by OORick
Because I didn't know Eva Marie was anywhere near that hot.
For her next trick, I'd love it if it turned out that I didn't know Eva Marie was anywhere near that capable at her, you know?, job...
Rick
Well then, why don't we give the fans, right here in the Eva Marie Diva's Thread! (I'll pause for the cheap pop, thank you), some
more of what they asked for!
Bonus Suck Up Molly Holly Hairstyle Photos. Personally, I'm partial to the 'Kane Reveal' look.
Extra Super Special Nudie Nudes of Some Other Chick Whose Stage Name Also Happens To Be Eva Marie and Kept Thwarting My Search For WWE Eva Marie
Nudie Nudes. She appears to be of the Hebraic Persuasion so turn away now sweet Pad...or go lube up and put on your Eva Braun sexytime cosplay
outfit. Hey man, no judgment. Except at Nuremberg*.
*Don't you people shake your heads scornfully and mutter, "fucking janerd", at your monitor. I'm just trying to be
accommodating and meet everyone's deviant needs. Just think of me as the aspiring Dennis Hof of the Diva Threads.
"It will happen when it happens and not a moment before." - Me
Posts 4819
Registered 1-14-2003 Location At the gym Member Is Offline
Mood: Rather be lifting
posted on 4-30-2015 at 03:10 PM
I realize that suplexes are largely on the person taking them.
But that snap suplex was really fucking good. I think the only thing in that video that really needs improvement is her height on the
leapfrog. The rest of it? Yeah, I can dig that.
#GLENNSURVIVESLOL - Cherokee Jack, from TWD Season 6 thread
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7665
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Online
Mood: ChinceMcMahon
posted on 4-30-2015 at 05:30 PM
Things I've learned from this thread:
1) Eva Marie is hot
2) Teh Rick has a great memory
3) I have early onset dementia, possibly age/alcohol related, which causes me to remember things in brightly-coloured dribs & drabs with numerous
intrusive memories of things like hobbits, dragons, Nurmeburg rallies, dragons at Nuremburg rallies, someone trying to RKO a dragon and severely
paying for it, and very naughty thoughts about the khaleesi. If this enables me to claim early disability and not have to work anymore I'll be
good with it, brain dissolving into a puddle of pop-culture infected goo notwithstanding. All that LSD I took back in high school might have been a
mistake.
4) I'll take the full blame for the gif-ization of OO in recent months, and am quite glad that thugs like Lucky or ModSquad are no longer around
like some kind of fascist Nazi Hitler Likud school principal making sure that nO One around here ever has any fucking fun.
5) TransJanerd is, like, fucking weird, man.
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
PyroFalkon
Fella
Posts 453
Registered 11-17-2004 Location Xenia, Ohio Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 5-1-2015 at 01:12 AM
quote:Originally posted by OORick
But this whole thing with Eva Marie makes me realize that I was EXCLUDING her because of a SINGLE "presence of" issue. That damned clown hair, which
has never looked good on anyone, and since I'm not some cosplay weirdo, it's so alien to me so as to be an actual turn-off. That's
probably not fair to her. But I did it. And it turns out, I was very, very wrong.
Apologies to Pyro, who I just massively disagreed with, but take solace in this tidbit: I saw this thread and never opened it until tonight, when I
saw the last post was by PyroFalkon. YOU were interesting enough to me to make me interested in Eva Marie. Up until then, I had just assumed this was
another thread with all too many animated gifs, and not enough hot.
Aw, shucks, Rick! I appreciate the kind words!
Just to clarify a point in my OP, so I don't sound like the "she has X feature which means she's not bangable" douchebags that are
currently ruining the Internet and meatspace, while I have A Thing for Eva Marie's body type, it's certainly not the be-all end-all of my
existence. Hence why I said EM is leading my "pure objectification" category, though I was able to mentally "tune out" the super-red hair, and the
whole package -- face, eyes, body type, flexibility, even voice -- lit up the fireworks. Brunettes are probably my favorite, but I'd never kick
anyone out of bed based on any specific appearance factor. That said, I loves me some vibrant colors; the first time Paige walked out with those blue
streaks in her hair, I just about lost it and was, as you like to say, happy in my pants. I really freaking adore Natalya's electric pink
streaks too, but Paige is definitely my overall favorite on the current roster: gorgeous, damn good at her job, doesn't take herself seriously
if her selfies are any indication, and she seems awesome to hang out with. (Of course, that could all be a work and she may be massively arrogant and
petty off-camera, but what the hell do I know? It's not like I've ever met her, nor probably ever will.)
Hell, my Mysterious Girlfriend is hardly "TV pretty," but she's hot to me, is a total nerd, hates the outdoors, and has a singing voice that
will cause you to likely cream yourself. Plus, she publicly sang my favorite song from my favorite videogame of all time, just for me. Let's see
if my goddamn BB Code skills work and I can embed that shit (skip to 10:56):
What were we talking about? Oh yeah, Eva Marie. That yellow micro-bikini picture is going up on my desktop, and just might replace that Melina Split
picture that I'm so fond of. I haven't done the recap joke in a while, but I think Eva Marie now earns "My" status next time she pops up
on TV.
...Especially since fucking Hulu cuts Rosa Mendes out of every RAW episode. I miss My Rosa.
rranddm
rOOkie
Posts 28
Registered 1-27-2014 Location Stockton Member Is Offline
Mood: Effluvious
posted on 5-1-2015 at 09:38 PM
If that unreality show is to be believed, the brass wanted her to go blonde, but she surprised them. Clown hair or not, it's a memorable gimmick
no one else has. Sticking around on tv is in large part being memorable and unique. She's done that. Now if she can string those suplexes into a
match there may be something there.
"Just because it's futuristic, doesn't make it practical." - Crow T. Robot
gobbledygooker
Sister Act 2
Posts 9288
Registered 12-17-2002 Location Charlotte, NC Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 5-5-2015 at 04:01 AM
quote:Originally posted by janerd75
I would like to see much more of the dance on the right. Minus the bottoms. And with my penis involved in some way.
"Hulk Hogan have the sex with some dumb bitch on the TV. The girl smart if she make the $$ from his bald ass but she also desperate to have sex with
the howdy doody like Hulk Hogan. He worse than Mel Gibson and I think now %10000 he prove he have grasshopper dick and raisin balls." - The Iron
Sheik
janerd75
The Immortal One
Posts 4045
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: #MOOGA
posted on 5-5-2015 at 04:44 AM
As you wish...
Place lil' Gooker on the screen riiiiiiiight aboooouuuttttttttttt.....here^^^^. After all the trouble I've gone to I'm assuming
you'll at least be mashing her head down into a pillow, yes? Pro tip: Maybe throw some plastic down so that red shit doesn't mess up your
sheets. And some tryst pics* for the rest of the fellas would be nice, too.
*I'm just kidding. I already have cameras in most of your houses anyways. Just waiting to make the Canadian Circuit to get full
coverage and then finally do an Ultimate DOOng Size ShOOwdOOwn.
"It will happen when it happens and not a moment before." - Me
...and so while everybody said the nice things about the door always being open, Molly was
never going to walk through it. 
that snap suplex was really fucking good. I think the only thing in that video that really needs improvement is her height on the
leapfrog. The rest of it? Yeah, I can dig that.
