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Author: Subject: OOfficial Discussion Thread for: RAW (May 8, 2017)
OORick
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posted on 5-8-2017 at 11:54 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
OOfficial Discussion Thread for: RAW (May 8, 2017)

Tonight on RAW: it's one of those 2 weeks out of the year when WWE is overseas, so they've already taped RAW, and if you want to go looking, you can find the spoilers.... but OO doesn't roll like that... here's a very brief non-spoiler rundown of what's on tap....

No Kurt Angle, but he assigns a very capable surrogate, who I expect to be very amusing, if last week was any indication....

Looks like you can scratch Brock Lesnar from Extreme Rules in early June.... WWE shuffled creative at the last second last Monday, which is why a segment all about Seth Rollins and Finn Balor eachwanting a shot at Lesnar's WWEU Title randomly morphed into a match for #1 Contendership to Dean Ambrose's IC Title (which was won by Miz, beating Rollins and Balor)...

Miz will reveal his timeline for chasing down the IC Title tonight, but in the near term, he ends up being put into a one-on-one match by Balor, due to the sketchiness of Miz's win last week.... meantime, Rollins rebounds from the setback by facing off against Samoa Joe again (Joe cost Rollins last week's match)....

Attempting to prove that his title really IS the most important title on RAW, due to Brock's lack of non-absence, Dean Ambrose declares he'll face all comers.... so, he puts himself in a non-title match.... *plonk*... as a result our main event tonight is Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt....

No Brock also means another go-round for Strowman/Reigns is now your main event for Extreme Rules.... expect it to be an Ambulance Match....both men are back on TV tonight, Strowman with a match against Kalisto, and Reigns... well, I said I wouldn't spoil anything, but Reigns shows up and does just about exactly what you'd think, if you've ever watched a single pro wrestling show in your life....

Lastly, per GM Angle's order of last week, Tag Team Turmoil takes place tonight, and is a gauntlet match to determine the challengers to the Hardy Boyz tag titles, featuring every non-Hardys team on the roster...

That is all. End communication.

The flOOr is yours, OO Nation. Don't wait till after 11pm to post, either. Pre-show previewing and prognosticating is certainly welcome. So discuss, debate, and rate!

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janerd75
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 01:13 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I guess the WWE is like the UFC now where titles like the Welterweight and Middleweight are more interesting than the Heavyweight titles. Diggin' Mizeses Sam "Ace" Rothstein glasses though.

And the "Thank you, Strowman!" chants continue.





...Bippity Boo and Skibbity Bop or whatever the fuck. - punkerhardcornette

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Count Zero
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 01:16 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I want to see this Jack & Coke On A Pole match actually take place.
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Il Palazzo
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 01:19 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Instead, WWE swerves us and delivers a Jack & Coke in a Cole Match. The results will be....... less than satisfactory.

Edit: I guess that'll do for a 400th post.

[Edited on 5-9-2017 by Il Palazzo]





You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.

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Count Zero
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 01:20 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
But the commentary could be highly amusing?

Why didn't they change the ring ropes to purple if they're sending the cruisers out to start the.. Oh, that's Miz? He's not a cruiser..

eta: I didn't even notice I hit P2K. Huh. (That's Post #2000, for those scoring at home.) I wonder what I rambled about for the milestone in question.

[Edited on 5-9-2017 by Count Zero]





"It's a WWE tradition, to do something un-right." --Paddlefoot

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janerd75
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 01:22 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I thought 205 Live was on tomorrow.

quote:
Originally posted by Il Palazzo
Instead, WWE swerves us and delivers a Jack & Coke in a Cole Match. The results will be....... less than satisfactory.

Edit: I guess that'll do for a 400th post.



Congrats! Celebrate with a Jack and Coke!



[Edited on 5-9-2017 by janerd75]





...Bippity Boo and Skibbity Bop or whatever the fuck. - punkerhardcornette

BRAY WYATT'S SPOOKY DOOKY VARIETY HOUR - Illy P.

I expect a company that's basically a cluster of jock shitheads to act like a place that's run by a cluster of jock shitheads. - P. Foot, Esq.

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Count Zero
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 01:30 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
That looks more like a coked-up Jack? But it's hard to tell with that fella.

EtRemoveCommaOverload.

[Edited on 5-9-2017 by Count Zero]





"It's a WWE tradition, to do something un-right." --Paddlefoot

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Il Palazzo
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 01:34 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
He can be two things.

Also, looks like they need to update Kalisto's picture there.





You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.

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Paddlefoot
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 01:39 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Be interesting in a moment to see if Alexa, who could in time be the single best female promo artist they've ever had, be able to handle that British crowd that left Bayley and Charlotte looking like deer in the headlights the last time WWE went to London.

EDIT: no promo? fuck you WWE!

[Edited on 5/9/2017 by Paddlefoot]





You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know, that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling

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janerd75
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 01:48 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Wait, I thought Alexa wasn't talented enough to wipe her own ass, let alone wrestle? GET IN THE LIVING ROOM AND START HOOVERING WITH YOUR HEAT VACUUM AND GET THE HELL OUT OF THE RING LADY HORNSWOGGLE!!!







...Bippity Boo and Skibbity Bop or whatever the fuck. - punkerhardcornette

BRAY WYATT'S SPOOKY DOOKY VARIETY HOUR - Illy P.

I expect a company that's basically a cluster of jock shitheads to act like a place that's run by a cluster of jock shitheads. - P. Foot, Esq.

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Il Palazzo
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 01:55 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Prediction: Dean has to face Bray in a Shower of Horrors Match.

Edit: Sorry Kalisto, you don't particularly matter! Make haste to Lucha Underground or something, where you'll probably be booked about 1000% better.

Also, it seems like how often Roman relies on Superfisting everyone and everything, Strowman should just stomp on his right hand over and over and over. Problem solved! Or perform a Monty Python-esque arm removal.

Strowman: Your arm's off!

Reigns: No it isn't! *cocks phantom arm, attempts punch anyway, probably succeeds through sheer force of will/Vince*

[Edited on 5-9-2017 by Il Palazzo]





You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.

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janerd75
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 02:12 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
BOOOOOOOOO'S mean cheers over in the UK and Reigns is extremely popular there, correct? Also, here, have this ---------->

Be neat if they fucked up yet another Wyatt and let Braun get smeared by Roman like Bray was waxed by Cena.





...Bippity Boo and Skibbity Bop or whatever the fuck. - punkerhardcornette

BRAY WYATT'S SPOOKY DOOKY VARIETY HOUR - Illy P.

I expect a company that's basically a cluster of jock shitheads to act like a place that's run by a cluster of jock shitheads. - P. Foot, Esq.

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Paddlefoot
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 02:16 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Smearing? Waxing? Superfisting? Since when did this forum turn into a Diva's private home video?





You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know, that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling

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Count Zero
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 02:20 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
How artst thou doingst? I'm a certified J in the UK!

BADABOOM! REALEST GUY IN THE EUROPEAN UNION.





"It's a WWE tradition, to do something un-right." --Paddlefoot

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janerd75
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 02:23 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Paddlefoot
Smearing? Waxing? Superfisting? Since when did this forum turn into a Diva's private home video?


Speaking of which, time for some slop jalops! Aaaaaaaand he's rhyming aboot poopy draws. I guess that kind of Diva video would be pretty cool too. You can imagine those gifs for yourself though.





...Bippity Boo and Skibbity Bop or whatever the fuck. - punkerhardcornette

BRAY WYATT'S SPOOKY DOOKY VARIETY HOUR - Illy P.

I expect a company that's basically a cluster of jock shitheads to act like a place that's run by a cluster of jock shitheads. - P. Foot, Esq.

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Il Palazzo
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 02:32 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
The switch from HE'S GOT KIDS to NO MORE KIDS was delightful. DEEEEELIGHTFUL.

Edit: I actually started thinking Golden Truth had a shot at winning just because. But shrug, I'll take what we got.

[Edited on 5-9-2017 by Il Palazzo]





You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.

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Count Zero
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 02:54 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
If Jinder Mahal can become #1 contender, we are living in a WWEUniverse where the Golden Truth -should- get a tag team title shot.

Corey F'n Graves: "What do you call the man who slays the king..... ...... ..... slayer?"

Way to fuck up your line, broseph.

[Edited on 5-9-2017 by Count Zero]





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Il Palazzo
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 03:22 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Additionally, it wasn't a very good line. Having said that, I've now guaranteed that Samoa Joe will receive a shirt within the next month that refers to him as the Kingslayerslayer.

Edit: That might've been one of the best stair collisions I've seen in some time. Or Gallagher's just REALLY good at hitting things with his head.

[Edited on 5-9-2017 by Il Palazzo]





You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.

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Count Zero
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 03:28 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Everything is better with -slayer.



Hmm.. If somebody defeats Eeeeeville, could we conceivably have TWO kingslayers on the same show at the same time??

etafterthinkingitthrough: Actually since 205Live is its own little (heh) universe, I suppose they wouldn't REALLY be on the same show. Crisis averted.

[Edited on 5-9-2017 by Count Zero]





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posted on 5-9-2017 at 03:35 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Count Zero
Everything is better with -slayer.




The surgeon left a sponge inside of me.





You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know, that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling

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Il Palazzo
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 03:37 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Until we have Crisis on Infinite Balls of Fire, and the 205 Universe is merged with the RAM Universe. Then you'll end up with whoever unseats Neville, plus Rollins, and then Joe for being the superior slayer of things. Except since Joe has proven capable of slaying the slayer, he'll just slay everyone. And then Goldberg will beat everyone up because he was in Santa's Slay, and I've now doomed us all to an eternity of Goldberg. I'm sorry.

Slightly less silly, EGADS Gallagher lost in his homeland? Say it isn't so!





You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.

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posted on 5-9-2017 at 03:38 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Aw hell ...
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Count Zero
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 03:40 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
If Gallaher (the second g is invisible, thus silent) actually HAD won in his homeland, I think that would be a sign that the Infinite Crisis of Firey Balls was upon us. Or that we're living on Fireball-C Minus?

Now I've gotta go read the proper comics, and see if I can straighten all this out in my nerdbrain.

eta: Alicia FAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHKS blew the pinfall spot! She's almost as bad as Becky Bliss!

[Edited on 5-9-2017 by Count Zero]





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Il Palazzo
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posted on 5-9-2017 at 03:44 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Orrrrrrrrrr, she secretly forced herself into a feud with Sasha Banks! SNEAKY. Like a.......... stoat.





You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.

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posted on 5-9-2017 at 03:44 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LoveMuscle
Aw hell ...

She can't even eat a pinfall without botching it.

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