By
contributing to Online
Onslaught,
you'll help make sure we're around for years to come. Toss us as little as
a few bucks, or as much as your generosity allows. Thanks!
Tonight on SmackDown: we start the full-court press to the Hell in a Cell PPV in 3 weeks time, now that WWE has established the hierarchy of
storylines...
By decree of Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon will face Kevin Owens inside the Cell, likely bumping it up to main event status, and dropping Jinder
Mahal's WWE Title defense against Shinsuke Nakamura down to a supporting role.... while there is plenty of precedent for having 2 Cell matches
on the same show, even if Shin/Jin gets the Cell treatment, at this point, I cannot imagine the fan who views it as a bigger match than
Owens/Shane.... that's partly due to how incredibly awesome Owens/Shane has been so far, but also partly due to the utter lack of gravitas
possessed by Mahal as champion; the WWE Title has more or less been an afterthought ever since February....
It's amazing to think that a major cadidate for Match of the Year was Cena vs. Styles for the WWE Title, at the Royal Rumble... then, two weeks
later, the belt moved onto Bray Wyatt, who participated in some of the most unwatchable TV of the year with Randy Orton, who in turn randomly dropped
the title to Jinder Mahal, who was a TV jobber as recently as April... I can't remember a time when a world-level title's stock dropped so
far, so fast, and then stayed there for this long, without WWE making an attempt to resuscitate it... but I digress...
The Owens/Shane bloodfeud was turned up to 11 last week, and Owens bloodied and destroyed Vince... Vince and Shane were having a rough patch, due to
Vince removing Shane as Commissioner of SD, but no doubt blood is thicker than figureheaddom; the fact that Stephanie (the Commish of RAW) showed up
to tend to her dad last week, however, confuses the McMahon family dynamic, and whether they will be a united front against Owens, or if there will be
some finger-pointing and blame-laying...
We'll get a better idea starting tonight, when Shane returns in his lowly role as a regular employee, and tells us where things stand 3 weeks
before he gets Owens inside the Cell...
We also know that tonight will feature AJ Styles defending the US Title against Baron Corbin... although it has not been permitted in the past,
somehow, Corbin was allowed to "make reservations" and called dibs on tonight's US Open Challenge during last week's show... Corbin had
seemed to be lining up as Styles next PPV challenger, but now, you almost figure that they play out the string with Corbin tonight, and then AJ still
has 3 weeks (including 2 more US Open Challenges) to find a PPV-worthy feud....
The New Day regained the tag team titles on last week's stacked episode of SD, too... the Usos picked the match (a street fight), but the New
Day came out on top... the PPV will be a perfect place for the Usos to get their obligatory rematch, it's just a question of how we get there,
and what stip is added to ensure that their rubber match tops all the rest...
Naomi used up her obligatory rematch against Natalya last week, but fell short of regaining her title, but only due to interference from Ms. Money in
the Bank, Carmellsworth... as has been the case since before SummerSlam, it seems SD's women's division is more about parity and chaos,
rather than a clear-cut #1 contender chasing a dominant champion separating themselves from the pack... with Charlotte getting back into the swing of
things sooner than later (after her dad's health scare), the number of possible new challengers to Nattie will grow (Naomi can also make a case
for another rematch, they're doing a big deal with Tamina becoming SD's version of Nia with the added bonus of Lana, Becky can show up on
TV and instantly be taken seriously, all while Carmella has the briefcase)...
In deference to all this wackiness and lack of focus, all we know about the women's division tonight is that Nattie is hosting "The Celebration
of Women".... whatever that is...
I guess Orton vs. Rusev is still a going concern, too... it's remarkable only in that it prevents Mahal's title reign from being the least
interesting thing going on on SD...
The rest: Dolph Ziggler's new gimmick of trolling the fans has been not too awful, and depending on how far they go with it, things could get
genuinely interesting... the key will be letting Dolph say some genuinely disrespectful things about present and past talents, and not just have them
be funny and insider type stuff that will entertain a percentage of the audience... Bobby Roode is SD's other major uppercard Work in Progress,
who is kind of toeing a strange line... his natural default setting is "heel," but his entrance theme is such a babyface that Roode's "Hey, I
Recognize That Guy" Pop has lingered and kept him as more of a face inside the ring so far; we'll see where he's going soon enough, as
WWE will move fast with him to maximize his prime years (Roode is, like Shin, one of the oldest WWE Rookies in a while)... and in the tag division,
our final new toy is the World's Greatest Tag Team v2.0, or whatever the duo of Shelton and Gable want to call themselves; moreso than what they
do in the ring, I remain convinced that their ultimate success will depend on retelling the American Alpha Origin Story (Gable as the over-eager
goofball, this time with Shelton as the stoic grump), so that fans can connect with them personally... and more of Breezango's antics would be
just fine, too...
That is all. End communication....
The flOOr is yours, OO Nation. Don't wait till after 11pm to post, either. Pre-show previewing and prognosticating is certainly welcome.
So discuss, debate, and rate!
LoveMuscle
And I am AWESOME
Posts 207
Registered 6-28-2007 Member Is Offline
Mood: stiff
posted on 9-20-2017 at 01:17 AM
"He is a fool, he is a tool ..." Then out comes Randy Orton. Perfect.
Count Zero
The Rowdy One
Posts 2367
Registered 1-29-2013 Location Canada East Member Is Offline
Mood: fugazi
posted on 9-20-2017 at 01:24 AM
Aiden English looks like Somebody's Dad.
eta: RUSEV MARK OUT FOR SELF!!! RUSEV GREATEST RUSEV EVER!! RUSEV NUMBER ONE, ORTON HOCK PATOOIE!!!!
[Edited on 9-20-2017 by Count Zero]
Flash
The Great One
Posts 3533
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Ontario, Canada Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 9-20-2017 at 01:57 AM
By virtue of being Eddie's son in law Aiden's probably got if not a job for life, then at least a few get out of jail free cards when it
comes to various talent cuts... but yeah, the guy looks like he's 29 going on 45.
It's a shame that Gotch got himself fired, as the Vaudevillains was a perfectly serviceable lower card team that could be plugged into the odd
mini tag feud when a brief refresher was needed. The gimmick probably had a shelf life, but I'm not sure what else you do with the guy.
First 9
The Rowdy One
Posts 2662
Registered 1-22-2013 Member Is Online
Mood: Doing the Emma Dance
posted on 9-20-2017 at 03:30 AM
When are the Fashion Files coming back? Where's Roode? Where's Benjamin and Gable?
The hell is up with their time management? Last year there was enough time and writing ability to make Ellsworth a star.
Count Zero
The Rowdy One
Posts 2367
Registered 1-29-2013 Location Canada East Member Is Offline
Mood: fugazi
posted on 9-20-2017 at 04:08 AM
Weren't "a bunch of superstars" halfway across the globe this week? Or am I misremembering? I'm not saying this excuses bad use of the
talent they still have, just that it would explain why those specific people were missing.
Flash
The Great One
Posts 3533
Registered 4-22-2005 Location Ontario, Canada Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 9-20-2017 at 04:37 AM
Yeah, I think I read that the SD brand (with Cena) was touring Australia and Japan... which makes Reigns whole promo from last night a bit more
curious as while Cena wasn't there for Raw, he was still off working for the company.
lz4005
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1527
Registered 11-12-2003 Member Is Offline
Mood: Oolitic
posted on 9-20-2017 at 04:53 AM
quote:Originally posted by Count Zero
Weren't "a bunch of superstars" halfway across the globe this week? Or am I misremembering? I'm not saying this excuses bad use of the
talent they still have, just that it would explain why those specific people were missing.
Most of the SD roster, plus Cena, Emma and Enzo were on the Australia/Japan/China tour. Maybe some others as well.
There's videos of them holding Koalas and shit on youtube.
[Edited on 9-20-2017 by lz4005]
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7789
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Online
Mood: ChinceMcMahon
posted on 9-20-2017 at 05:28 AM
Koalas? Come back with paralysis after being stung by some bogan of a wallaby? Crikey!
Not PG yet genuinely arousing.
[Edited on 9/20/2017 by Paddlefoot]
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
SpiNNeR72
Showstopper
Posts 683
Registered 10-21-2006 Location Shetland Member Is Offline
Mood: Amused!
posted on 9-20-2017 at 01:48 PM
quote:Originally posted by First 9
When are the Fashion Files coming back? Where's Roode? Where's Benjamin and Gable?
The hell is up with their time management? Last year there was enough time and writing ability to make Ellsworth a star.
There's a McMahon angle going on, that's all.
CCharger
The Great One
Posts 3651
Registered 7-21-2010 Member Is Offline
Mood: Covfefe
posted on 9-20-2017 at 04:33 PM
Surprised no one mentioned the awkwardly racist promo that Jinder Mahal cut on Nakamura. It's even getting mainstream attention:
"She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted."
"The powers of the president to protect our country are very substantial and will not be questioned."
--- Stephen Miller, Trump senior White House advisor, Feb. 12, 2017
GodEatGod
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1414
Registered 1-14-2004 Location Monroe, LA Member Is Offline
Mood: Weird
posted on 9-20-2017 at 05:54 PM
quote:Originally posted by Paddlefoot
Koalas? Come back with paralysis after being stung by some bogan of a wallaby? Crikey!
Not PG yet genuinely arousing.
[Edited on 9/20/2017 by Paddlefoot]
I would take that job.
Kinda proud for the live fans chanting "That's Too Far!" at Jinder after the racist shit. Jinder still sucks.
Also terrible: Natalya's acting. Also: Lana's acting.
Amusing: Baron Corbin whining and complaining then declaring that he isn't going to whine and complain.
Awesome: Kevin Owens. Just Kevin Owens.
"It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don't like something, it is empirically not good. I don't like
Chinese food, but I don't write articles trying to prove it doesn't exist." - Tina Fey
janerd75
The Immortal One
Posts 4122
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: #MOOGA
posted on 9-20-2017 at 07:53 PM
Finally just getting the internet back so errbody can witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational Jannerstation and the first thing I
hear aboot is some OMGRACISM!1!! on SD and I was ready to sweat out yet another stOOrm wondering what honkaloid said some obnoxious shit to Rusev or
somesuch other ethnic on the roster...
Come to find out it was the Canadian-Indian World Champ making ruv you rong time ching chong noises at his Japanese challenger. Are you telling me
non-white P.O.C. can be racist towards each other?!?! What a time to be alive!
WHEW! Not us this time!* Also, all that contouring makeup makes Carmelluh look like a Borzoi and I'm not sure what's er, that I know
what contouring makeup is or what a Borzoi is.
Also2, and most importantly:
*Even though it undoubtedly was Vince that made him do it, but let's not quibble over the details.
[Edited on 9-20-2017 by janerd75]
"It will happen when it happens and not a moment before." - Me
Oh, I have zero doubt he was told to go out and say those things. I think this is a reflection on the WWE and Vince specifically rather than Jinder.
Frankly, I'm surprised considering their efforts to make the product palatable for overly-anxious stockholders and advertisers. Also surprising
considering their relationship with ESPN who is dealing with their very own, very public racism controversy.
"She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted."
"The powers of the president to protect our country are very substantial and will not be questioned."
--- Stephen Miller, Trump senior White House advisor, Feb. 12, 2017
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7789
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Online
Mood: ChinceMcMahon
posted on 9-20-2017 at 08:00 PM
It's entirely plausible that a certain pair of obsolete dimwits backstage green lit that Jinder promo just because they're that obtuse
enough to believe a non white guy saying dumb bigoted things about another non white guy couldn't possibly be offensive. Ancient and dumb
isn't a good combination most of the time.
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
janerd75
The Immortal One
Posts 4122
Registered 1-28-2013 Member Is Offline
Mood: #MOOGA
posted on 9-20-2017 at 08:13 PM
Agree on all counts. Whilest I don't mind promos getting a little rough around the edges, they can't have their Old Skool ways and eat
them too. Be A Star? Sure, only if you're name's Stephanie and you can bully whomever the fuck you want, especially on camera. Want to do
the jingoism angle? Fine, stick with Rusev/Lana/Russia vs. Whomever because hating them there Commie bastards is easy and doesn't require too
much thought. It's been a trope forever.
But the WWE's social commentary infrastructure under the current writer dnonkey regime is in no way, shape, or form designed to handle either
subtle shade/nuance or even lowbrow shit like what they made Jinder go out there and say.
They can either be kid friendly PG/PG-13 or get nutz and break out the puppies and choppy-choppy pee-pee segments agayn. Choose one.
"It will happen when it happens and not a moment before." - Me
Posts 6444
Registered 3-13-2004 Location Charlotte, NC Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 9-20-2017 at 11:59 PM
Currently over on Deadspin, there's an article entitled "Fans Chant 'That's Too Far' During Racist WWE Promo" here:
http://deadspin.com/fans-chant-that-s-too-far-during-racist-wwe-promo-1818579727 Because I'm sure that's the type of mainstream attention
that the WWE wants!
And if you scroll down to the comments section of that article, there's a few pics that fans took showing how low the attendance was for last
night's Smackdown. Not sure if that's normal or not these day, but it basically looks like the type of attendance you'd see at a
house show.
G. Jonah Jameson
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1174
Registered 12-28-2010 Member Is Offline
Mood:
posted on 9-21-2017 at 12:54 AM
I would guess WWE's internal logic was, "Well, Jinder Mahal's not saying he believes these things, he's telling Shinsuke Nakamura
that the fans are actually saying those things behind his back, so it's OK." But that's kind of like saying, "Well, it's OK for
him to call Nakamura a cocksucker on live TV, because it's not really him saying it."
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7789
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Online
Mood: ChinceMcMahon
posted on 9-21-2017 at 02:55 AM
WWE has such confidence in the integrity of the promo that they haven't bothered to upload any of it to their YouTube channel. So if someone
says "Alexa/Bayley's "This Is Your Life Segment" is the most embarrassingly bad thing WWE's done all year long", just reply with
"Jinder promo on Nakamura, "here, hold my beer"".
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
SpiNNeR72
Showstopper
Posts 683
Registered 10-21-2006 Location Shetland Member Is Offline
Mood: Amused!
posted on 9-21-2017 at 10:17 PM
quote:Originally posted by CCharger
Surprised no one mentioned the awkwardly racist promo that Jinder Mahal cut on Nakamura. It's even getting mainstream attention:
Probably because, as is usually the case, it wasn't racist. Unless you decide go the extra mile to interpret it in a racist manner, thus the
crowd were really chanting "We're all racist"
CCharger
The Great One
Posts 3651
Registered 7-21-2010 Member Is Offline
Mood: Covfefe
posted on 9-21-2017 at 11:14 PM
quote:Originally posted by SpiNNeR72
quote:Originally posted by CCharger
Surprised no one mentioned the awkwardly racist promo that Jinder Mahal cut on Nakamura. It's even getting mainstream attention:
Probably because, as is usually the case, it wasn't racist. Unless you decide go the extra mile to interpret it in a racist manner, thus the
crowd were really chanting "We're all racist"
Is this sarcasm? I can't tell.
"She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted."
"The powers of the president to protect our country are very substantial and will not be questioned."
--- Stephen Miller, Trump senior White House advisor, Feb. 12, 2017
GodEatGod
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1414
Registered 1-14-2004 Location Monroe, LA Member Is Offline
Mood: Weird
posted on 9-22-2017 at 12:26 AM
Yeah, it's pretty obviously racist. I mean, not worthy of boycotts or even anybody getting fired for it, but doing the fake Japanese stereotype
accent and Mr. Miyagi shit at a guy just because he's Japanese is pretty much textbook racist. It's undeniably tone deaf and eye-rollingly
stupid to do in 2017.
"It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don't like something, it is empirically not good. I don't like
Chinese food, but I don't write articles trying to prove it doesn't exist." - Tina Fey
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7789
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Online
Mood: ChinceMcMahon
posted on 9-22-2017 at 12:36 AM
Too bad that "stupid" and "WWE" still get along so well with each other no matter what year it is.
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
punkerhardcore
American Dream
Posts 7976
Registered 7-16-2005 Member Is Offline
Mood: Lickable
posted on 9-22-2017 at 02:29 AM
Saying "rook" was pretty obviously racist, but I have to admit... it didn't even occur to me that calling him Mr. Myagi would be racist. I
just found that comment to be dated and super lame.
I was more offended that for the second week in a row, I had to listen to a guy who is WWE Champion cut such a shitty and boring promo.
Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 7789
Registered 1-19-2008 Location Stupid Idiot Section Member Is Online
Mood: ChinceMcMahon
posted on 9-22-2017 at 03:21 AM
Wonder if Vince and Creative have caught up to the current zeitgeist of Breakfast At Tiffany's yet. Ha ha ha, herro round-eye!
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
er, that I know
what contouring makeup is or what a Borzoi is. 
