outback jack
The Great One  
Posts 3807
Registered 3-10-2003 Location not Australia Member Is Offline Mood: old
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| posted on 5-4-2010 at 07:23 PM |
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Random Facebook Observations
1. Putting extra e's on the ends of words for emphasis is way overdoneeeeeeeee!!!!!
2. Attractive young women seem to post hundreds of pictures of themselves, which is not a bad thing, but this would seem to require that whenever they
go out somewhere they have to get people to take pictures of them. Is that a business opportunity?
3. Some people seem compelled to post something every morning like "Had breakfast" and something every evening like "Good night everyone!"
4. Some accounts seem to be like the Marie Celeste, cruising through cyberspace with no signs of life.
5. The OO/PH contingent is far more interesting than 99% of the people on FB.
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denverpunk
Showstopper 
Posts 969
Registered 6-27-2007 Location Mile-Hi Member Is OnlineMood: Stoked
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| posted on 5-4-2010 at 07:42 PM |
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I also like the faux suicide notes people post -- "I can't take it anymore, I want all of this to go away" sort of stuff. Then they thank God
for their blessings the next day. Facebook is better at diagnosing crazies than any psychologist.
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atothej
Posts 2967
Registered 12-21-2002 Location Philly Member Is Offline Mood: No Mood.
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| posted on 5-4-2010 at 10:54 PM |
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It's only truly effective for tracking narcissism and other attention-whoring-related behavior.
Your momma's so fat, Dave Meltzer gave her struggling to put her jeans on in the morning five stars. -- FF, destroying Jeb, his momma, and
Meltzer in one fell swoop.
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punkerhardcore
The Man 
Posts 5057
Registered 7-15-2005 Member Is Offline Mood: Lickable
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| posted on 5-4-2010 at 10:59 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by denverpunk
I also like the faux suicide notes people post -- "I can't take it anymore, I want all of this to go away" sort of stuff. Then they thank God
for their blessings the next day. Facebook is better at diagnosing crazies than any psychologist.
The ones that drive me nuts are where someone says something similar to that. Something like, "Such an awful week, why do I have the worst luck, I
can't stand anymore." And then someone comments and asks them what's wrong, and they'll be all, "Oh, it's personal, I
don't wanna talk about it."
Yes you do, asshole! You posted that cryptic shit on a public forum because you wanted a response!
Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
Come participate in the Career Deadpool 2012! All suggestions/discussions are
welcome.
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williamssl
Steers and Queers 
Posts 4317
Registered 1-11-2004 Location Hippieville Member Is OnlineMood: Fuck USC
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| posted on 5-4-2010 at 11:03 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by outback jack
3. Some people seem compelled to post something every morning like "Had breakfast" and something every evening like "Good night everyone!"
Not that this fully explains it, but far too many people have Twitter linked with Facebook, so their Twitter feeds update on Facebook and you're
subjected to higher volumes of stinkier shit as a result.
I think I've hidden most all of these extraneous feeds and have eliminated the vast majority of the more than once per day one liners and a lot
of the "@somejerkface #fuckoff" stuff too.
Again...there's still some of the stuff you mention, but far less if you hide Twitter.
Don't Mess With Texas
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outback jack
The Great One
Posts 3807
Registered 3-10-2003 Location not Australia Member Is Offline Mood: old
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| posted on 5-4-2010 at 11:56 PM |
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Tex, the people who are posting via twitter seem to at least try to make it interesting or at least a bit different. I think the FB non-twitter crowd
are more likelt to post "sleepy timeeeeeeeeeeeeee" before logging off
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williamssl
Steers and Queers
Posts 4317
Registered 1-11-2004 Location Hippieville Member Is OnlineMood: Fuck USC
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| posted on 5-5-2010 at 04:12 AM |
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May be true of some. Definitely isn't true of the vast majority.
And really, we don't need one social networking site to be an aggregator for others.
Tweet to your twats on Twitter and keep it there. People sign up to follow you or whatever there. I didn't sign up to be twat upon by having
someone as a friend on Facebook.
I have hard enough time hiding all the new games that all the idiots keep playing and inviting me into. Just when I think I'm farmville and
mafia wars proof, some new shit comes up and I gotta go hide that too. I don't need various incarnations of twitter showing up that I have to
keep hiding as well.
Realleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 
Don't Mess With Texas
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punkerhardcore
The Man
Posts 5057
Registered 7-15-2005 Member Is Offline Mood: Lickable
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| posted on 5-5-2010 at 04:49 AM |
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I just realized something else I hate-- although it seems like the trend died already-- all those "can THIS get 1,000,000,000,000 fans before THAT"
groups.
Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
Come participate in the Career Deadpool 2012! All suggestions/discussions are
welcome.
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Chris Is Good517
Posts 10710
Registered 1-10-2002 Location Little Rock, AR Member Is Offline Mood: punchy
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| posted on 5-5-2010 at 04:54 AM |
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I always like those people who have comically horrible lives that they have to share every depressing detail of on facebook.
"Debit card got declined so couldn't eat breakfast... got to work and found out mom has cancer. Found out later Grandpa died. DHS took away my
kids after lunch. Got sexually harassed by the HR guy. Car was stolen from parking lot, had to walk home, tripped and broke my leg and had to crawl
home because cell rolled into the street and got ran over. Got home and house was on fire. Luckily, wife wasn't in the house because she was
next door fucking the neighbor for coke. LOL IS IT FRIDAY YET?"
I'm exaggerating (a little) but fuck those people. Vent if you need to but I only have so much sympathy so try not to wring it all out of me in
one week
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punkerhardcore
The Man
Posts 5057
Registered 7-15-2005 Member Is Offline Mood: Lickable
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| posted on 5-5-2010 at 04:58 AM |
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It's kinda fun to click the like button on those kinds of statues.
Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
Come participate in the Career Deadpool 2012! All suggestions/discussions are
welcome.
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ThePunisher
The Great One 
Posts 3101
Registered 4-19-2003 Location Asheville, NC Member Is Offline Mood:
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| posted on 5-5-2010 at 12:28 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Chris Is Good517
"Debit card got declined so couldn't eat breakfast... got to work and found out mom has cancer. Found out later Grandpa died. DHS took away my
kids after lunch. Got sexually harassed by the HR guy. Car was stolen from parking lot, had to walk home, tripped and broke my leg and had to crawl
home because cell rolled into the street and got ran over. Got home and house was on fire. Luckily, wife wasn't in the house because she was
next door fucking the neighbor for coke. LOL IS IT FRIDAY YET?"
Can I steal that for my status?
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Chris Is Good517
Posts 10710
Registered 1-10-2002 Location Little Rock, AR Member Is Offline Mood: punchy
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| posted on 5-5-2010 at 02:14 PM |
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Ha ha ha, be my guest. Please report back on the amount of people who comment on your status that try to one-up you on that, though
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borntorun
God of This World 
Posts -8714
Registered 7-22-2003 Location Breathe Member Is Offline Mood: House, Monk-E
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| posted on 5-5-2010 at 02:24 PM |
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Pretty much all griping can be reduced to this idea.
"I have to live up to the responsibilities of being an adult. FML!"
Fake McCoy Comics
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Chris Is Good517
Posts 10710
Registered 1-10-2002 Location Little Rock, AR Member Is Offline Mood: punchy
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| posted on 5-5-2010 at 02:39 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by borntorun
Pretty much all griping can be reduced to this idea.
"I have to live up to the responsibilities of being an adult. FML!"
Eh, I'd say 80%. The other 20% is "bitch bitch bitch OBAMA'S FAULT waaaaaaaaaah"
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outback jack
The Great One
Posts 3807
Registered 3-10-2003 Location not Australia Member Is Offline Mood: old
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| posted on 5-9-2010 at 11:12 AM |
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I'm working on a formula for Facebook narcissism. I think I've figured out a version for women, and have some ideas for one for men.
For women, start with the pictures the post of themselves. Add 1 point each for bikini or lingerie pics, 2 points for the pursed lip pose (3 points if
with another woman doing the same), and 5 points for fake-lesbian shots (making out in front of guys in a bar, boob-grabbing, butt-grabbing, etc.).
Add a point for each "we look hot" comment that really means "I look hot."
Then move on to how they interact with female "real-life friend" friends' walls. If they comment on ordinary stuff in a normal way, subtract
a point for each comment, unless it involves praising themselves somehow. If they congratulate a friend on engagement/marriage/baby, only subtract
half a point, since one would expect women to do that. (Yes, it's a double standard.) If they comment on the friend's photos that
don't include themselves, subtract a point, or half a point for weddings/babies. If they comment on pictures that do include themselves, add
points according to the formula above.
Haven't worked out the formula for men yet, but resembling a cast member of jersey Shore would factor in heavily.
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Biff_Manly
Man of a Thousand Holds 
Posts 1047
Registered 6-16-2006 Member Is Offline Mood: Ridiculous
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| posted on 5-10-2010 at 12:57 AM |
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I think the male equivalent of that self shot from above to hide the fat roll pursed lips thing chicks do is the guys that lift their shirt to take a
picture of their abs in the mirror with their iPhone.
"Walter: I can solve everything by making this gramophone have sex with time."
--SCSA's Fringe on Ice Holiday Spectacular.
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gobbledygooker
Sister Act 2 
Posts 6069
Registered 12-17-2002 Location Charlotte, NC Member Is Offline Mood: Opus Eponymous
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| posted on 5-10-2010 at 09:39 PM |
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The absolute worst I've encountered is being friends with a woman who is about to have a baby. And it gets even worse when said baby has
entered the world. "Owen kept me up all night last night!" "Owen ate a big breakfast. He is a big boy!" "Mommy's tired. Time for mommy
and Owen to take a nap!" (Can you tell I have someone in mind?) I want to tell her to quit posting on Facebook and go care for her fucking child!
Anyone who lets their hair grow below their ears to where I can't see their ears means they don't wash. If they don't wash, they
stink, and if they stink, I don't want the son-of-a-bitch around me.
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punkerhardcore
The Man
Posts 5057
Registered 7-15-2005 Member Is Offline Mood: Lickable
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| posted on 5-10-2010 at 10:14 PM |
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One of my good friends is also crazy and needy, and sometimes when she makes an update she'll IM/text and tell me to go look at it and comment
on it.
I never do.
Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
Come participate in the Career Deadpool 2012! All suggestions/discussions are
welcome.
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outback jack
The Great One
Posts 3807
Registered 3-10-2003 Location not Australia Member Is Offline Mood: old
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| posted on 5-11-2010 at 03:26 AM |
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I think women who've just had children deserve a pass. Women who've supersized their implants, not so much. (I know one who's
jealous of Heidi Montag)
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Chris Is Good517
Posts 10710
Registered 1-10-2002 Location Little Rock, AR Member Is Offline Mood: punchy
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| posted on 5-11-2010 at 06:19 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by outback jack
I think women who've just had children deserve a pass.
Women who have just had children, yes. Women who have children who are 5-6 years old? Nobody fucking cares what your kid drew in kindergarten today.
Worse than the over-enthusiastic mothers are the over-enthusiastic girlfriends. "Bobby is the bestest boyfriend a girl could ever ask for!!!(:!!!!"
News flash, sweetie: Bobby is eventually going to get sick of your bullshit, and then your relationship status is going to change to single and all of
your friends that are hitting "like" right now are going to admit that they've thought Bobby was a pretty big prick since day one. But in the
meanwhile, please continue to regale us with your boring Facebook statuses about where Bobby is taking you for dinner tonight and how cute it is when
Bobby lets you watch Top Model even though there's a ballgame on and how Bobby is just so nice to the four kids you barely pay attention to from
a previous failed relationship. Trust me, it's riveting stuff.
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salmonjunkie
American Dream 
Posts 8338
Registered 6-25-2002 Location Sunny Seattle, WA Member Is Offline Mood: charged
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| posted on 5-11-2010 at 06:40 AM |
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I have no problem in admitting I use Facebook too much, and have way too many pictures of myself on it. What the hey.
Personally, I think he�s a [freaking homosexual].
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outback jack
The Great One
Posts 3807
Registered 3-10-2003 Location not Australia Member Is Offline Mood: old
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| posted on 5-11-2010 at 10:30 AM |
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Pictures of self doing something fun are fine. Posting is fine. I look forward every day to seeing what the OO regulars are posting on Facebook. My
negative comments were inspired by perusing the walls of some friends of (non-OO) friends and seeing one too many Myspace face.
Since my curmudgeon hat is on, I'll offer some career advice. Decide on whether you are using Fb as a networking tool for your career, or as a
way to keep up with friends and have fun, or if doing both be very careful. Set your privacy settings and post stuff accordingly.
If you are pursuing a white-collar professional career and have friended bosses and professional contacts, think twice about listing "Drinking"
and/or "Gambling" as favorite activities. Even if the boss has water cooler conversations about his trip to Vegas, he might not fancy seeing that
pop up in his news feed about you. When he does it, he's having fun. When his minions are doing it, they lack character.
Your profile picture doesn't necessarily have to show you wearing business attire, but a naughty nurse or French maid Halloween costume is not
going to project a professionally credible image. (This is particularly true if you are a man. Unless you are flamboyantly gay, in which case go for
it!) Do remember that a Google image search, especially if your name is uncommon, may show an old profile picture rather than your current one. (Not
sure why, but it does.)
[Edited on 5-11-2010 by outback jack]
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gobbledygooker
Sister Act 2
Posts 6069
Registered 12-17-2002 Location Charlotte, NC Member Is Offline Mood: Opus Eponymous
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| posted on 5-11-2010 at 01:50 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Chris Is Good517
Worse than the over-enthusiastic mothers are the over-enthusiastic girlfriends. "Bobby is the bestest boyfriend a girl could ever ask for!!!(:!!!!"
News flash, sweetie: Bobby is eventually going to get sick of your bullshit, and then your relationship status is going to change to single and all of
your friends that are hitting "like" right now are going to admit that they've thought Bobby was a pretty big prick since day one. But in the
meanwhile, please continue to regale us with your boring Facebook statuses about where Bobby is taking you for dinner tonight and how cute it is when
Bobby lets you watch Top Model even though there's a ballgame on and how Bobby is just so nice to the four kids you barely pay attention to from
a previous failed relationship. Trust me, it's riveting stuff.
Hell yes, this. Also retarded is the smitten couple who always have to post on each other's wall "I love you snookums!" "Oh, I love you
too, I'm so lucky!" You are in a fucking relationship. If this is a normal relationship, you should be able to say this to each other in the
privacy of your own home. Not broadcasted for everyone to vomit over. I make a point to never post anything like that to my girlfriend, which I
think annoys her on occasion since she wants to show people that we love each other, but I straight up refuse. The "In A Relationship" status is
enough for me!
Anyone who lets their hair grow below their ears to where I can't see their ears means they don't wash. If they don't wash, they
stink, and if they stink, I don't want the son-of-a-bitch around me.
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blackdragon
The Great One 
Posts 3550
Registered 11-9-2003 Member Is Offline Mood: Awesome
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| posted on 5-11-2010 at 05:33 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by outback jack
Your profile picture doesn't necessarily have to show you wearing business attire, but a naughty nurse or French maid Halloween
costume
Is it weird that I immediately thought about Thai when you posted this bit?
Count me in on the "my baby is the cutest thing evar!" I know my baby is the most beautiful creature to grace this God-forsaken world, but I
don't need to update you guys everytime she poops, so I don't see why anyone else feels that they should. Now if your six month old is
breaking bricks or solving the energy crisis, go ahead and post that shit.
[Edited on 5-11-2010 by blackdragon]
A ho fucks everybody. A bitch fucks everybody but you.
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outback jack
The Great One
Posts 3807
Registered 3-10-2003 Location not Australia Member Is Offline Mood: old
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| posted on 5-11-2010 at 06:11 PM |
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Asian guys can pose any way they want to, as people will still think they're smart. It's everybody else that has to worry about their
image.
I know that one can use lists on Facebook so that friends can see some things and business contacts can't. I'm guessing less than 1% of
people do that.
[Edited on 5-11-2010 by outback jack]
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