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Author: Subject: Matt Hardy Video - WTF Am I Watching?
BBMN
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posted on 6-1-2016 at 09:21 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Matt Hardy Video - WTF Am I Watching?


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williamssl
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posted on 6-1-2016 at 10:28 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
The boys got high and had a friend film this and then, while still high, they posted it on the internet because "it's so fuckin' gnarly awesome, dude"

Right? Only possible explanation. I mean surely no wrestling company, however big or small, would ever do something like this, right? Right???





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janerd75
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posted on 6-1-2016 at 10:48 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
The answers, in no particular order:

1) The Hills Have Eyes levels of Appalachian inbreeding.
2) Meth.
3) Long term exposure to lead and asbestos particulates used in the construction of TNA rings.
4) Tainted meth.
5) Super meth.
6) CTE induced by Matt's skull being rammed repeatedly and violently into his headboard by Jeff when they play a game of "Gay's Okay When Reby's Away".
7) Bath salt and krokodil infused meth with mint and a twist of lime.

[Edited on 6-1-2016 by janerd75]





�If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of A.I.D.S.� - Jimmy Carr

As per Count Zero's lovely transciption:
Jericho: "You better watch it."
Owens: "Yeah? Watch what?"
Jericho: "...It."
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punkerhardcore
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posted on 6-1-2016 at 11:45 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I'm not even sure what had more plastic in it-- that fake baby, or the misshapen fucking wad which was formerly Reby Sky's face.





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Paddlefoot
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 12:00 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Terminal late-stage TNA certainly has some interesting aspects to it. Reby probably asked the plastic specialist to "give me the Sable" but ended up with a last-days Moolah instead.

Turns out there was a Part One to this. Brother Nero!



[Edited on 6/1/2016 by Paddlefoot]





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Flash
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 12:35 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Never watched them before, but I want to say that the two had some sort of YouTube show for a while there, so maybe this is just another episode of that.

Life has been rough to those two.

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janerd75
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 12:46 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
My favorite aspects of the Part One video, in no particular order:

1) Screaming and wildly gesticulating in front of a non-fake baby used as a prop.
2) Wildly changing camera angles that obviously make no attempt to remotely maintain any type of Cin�ma v�rit� or even a Reno: 911 level of realism.
3) Jeff Fucking Hardy coming off as lucid and reasonable in this segment.

My least favorite aspects, again in no particular order:

1) Reby didn't spike the aforementioned baby and overripe tomato its poor fucking head on the driveway to save it from a lifetime, however short it may naturally be anyway, of meth induced insanity from its father, mother, and unclefather.
2) The Ultimate Warrior didn't materialize in the window of the SUV foreshadowing the impending destruction of the MWO*.



*I'll give you zero guesses as to what the "M" stands for.





�If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of A.I.D.S.� - Jimmy Carr

As per Count Zero's lovely transciption:
Jericho: "You better watch it."
Owens: "Yeah? Watch what?"
Jericho: "...It."
Evil Canadians 4 Life!

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salmonjunkie
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 12:50 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
This shit right here. Jeff Hardy vs Willow, and the aftermath (or is that aftermeth?)


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Paddlefoot
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 01:06 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Not re-signing AJ Styles, Austin Aries, Bobby Roode, Eric Young, or Samoa Joe was the best for business because we needed to give the money to these guys instead to help capture the critical ....whatever demographic.

- Dixie "Derp" Carter

Stuff like that successfully covers both the "shamed to be a wrestling fan/shamed to be caught watching this" aspects quite efficiently. Even the ICP would think that this was too stupid to be seen at The Gathering of the Juggalos. Just thought of how appropriate it would be if the audience was really chanting "meth!meth!meth!" instead of "Jeff!Jeff!Jeff!" at the end.

[Edited on 6/2/2016 by Paddlefoot]





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williamssl
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 01:13 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
The combined costs of the boys' makeup, Matt's hair dye, the Hollywood talent brought in for the proper scripting, and filming and production crew who have taken this to new levels......was an investment decision that we knew would produce higher returns than on any of the recently departed talent and was a no-brainer in the end. Oh and the table. That table was expensive. We got it at a garage sale but the seller wouldn't let it go for less than $20. Oh and the baby doll, too. We had to bribe some little kid with $3 to give up her favorite doll.





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Paddlefoot
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 01:20 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
We really gotta start cutting Roman Reigns a break because he hasn't come anywhere near doing anything that repellent. Neither has WWE, not for a very long time, not like since Big Daddy V, Jillian Hall's facial growth, or the Boogeyman. Even something as dumb as Santina Marella was really only done for laughs.





You are a bastard. A daughter-fucking wildling bastard.

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posted on 6-2-2016 at 01:34 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
If the worst aspects of the state of Florida could be personified as a wrestling company, with Exhibit A of its collective psyche on display in the video Thai posted, it would most certainly be TNA.

Jesus Christ please won't someone help me get out of this meth. Mess. Yeah no, I meant mes...no, you know what on second thought I absolutely meant meth.





�If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of A.I.D.S.� - Jimmy Carr

As per Count Zero's lovely transciption:
Jericho: "You better watch it."
Owens: "Yeah? Watch what?"
Jericho: "...It."
Evil Canadians 4 Life!

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posted on 6-2-2016 at 01:35 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I dunno, I think Matt's over-the-top acting is funny. Kind of reminds me of Randy Marsh when he decided he was diseased with alcoholism with the exaggerated verbiage and tongue-in-cheek character. I'm not convinced this angle is supposed to be taken super seriously. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to think Matt is ridiculous.





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Paddlefoot
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 01:50 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by janerd75
If the worst aspects of the state of Florida could be personified as a wrestling company, with Exhibit A of its collective psyche on display in the video Thai posted, it would most certainly be TNA.

Jesus Christ please won't someone help me get out of this meth. Mess. Yeah no, I meant mes...no, you know what on second thought I absolutely meant meth.


Take the small comforts where you can. Like this year Baylor took over from Tallahassee as the football-player/rapist excuse-making capital of the NCAA. SEC fans will only have to use half as much kerosene for their bathwater to get the icky feeling off now compared to when Saint Jameis was muh-dikkin' around campus. Exult in being somewhat less morally scummy as a collective entity while you can!





You are a bastard. A daughter-fucking wildling bastard.

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janerd75
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 02:03 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Matte
I dunno, I think Matt's over-the-top acting is funny. Kind of reminds me of Randy Marsh when he decided he was diseased with alcoholism with the exaggerated verbiage and tongue-in-cheek character. I'm not convinced this angle is supposed to be taken super seriously. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to think Matt is ridiculous.


Metth, whatever you're mainlining into your massive beautiful glistening ladydonger...



I...I think I'm going to move to Orlando and become a TNA groupie. Meh*, I had a good run.



*Meth. It's always going to be meth, isn't it?





�If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of A.I.D.S.� - Jimmy Carr

As per Count Zero's lovely transciption:
Jericho: "You better watch it."
Owens: "Yeah? Watch what?"
Jericho: "...It."
Evil Canadians 4 Life!

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Il Palazzo
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 02:12 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Catching a link to the second video via the Botchamania Fanpage was pretty great thanks to referencing The Room and Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. Cutting to a Dean Learner interview segment after it ended would've suited it well.





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posted on 6-2-2016 at 02:34 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by janerd75

I...I think I'm going to move to Orlando and become a TNA groupie. Meh*, I had a good run.


Take a look at the Impact Zone crowd before you do anything so rash. It's like that gaggle of freaks that surrounded Cleopatra and Antony in HBO's Rome. Nothing of any good can ever happen in a place where white guys are wearing shorts and Hardy tees all year round.





You are a bastard. A daughter-fucking wildling bastard.

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G. Jonah Jameson
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 03:23 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Is Matt Hardy's hair supposed to be Rogue or Bellatrix Lestrange?
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anglefan85
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 05:17 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I posted it earlier in the TNA thread, but really, this is something that needs to be posted again. All of the Hardy segments, in their entirely.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jzScgAhSt0

One part that stood out to me was when Matt rolled out of the ring and clearly botched it, but nobody bothered to edit that part, or do a retake, they kept it in the shot. They taped this weeks in advance, and they couldn't be bothered to edit that out, or do another take.





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posted on 6-2-2016 at 05:34 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Looked to me like Matt cut his hand when he nailed Jeff with the prop bottle. Be even funnier if they have to postpone the match or do one another one of their insipid swerves because of it.





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posted on 6-2-2016 at 07:49 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Oh god... This has its own thread?!?!?!



Though really, it is pretty disasterrific, so I guess it does deserve a certain amount of internet deconstruction... Something Something TNA?





Originally posted by williamssl
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janerd75
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 09:50 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote






�If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of A.I.D.S.� - Jimmy Carr

As per Count Zero's lovely transciption:
Jericho: "You better watch it."
Owens: "Yeah? Watch what?"
Jericho: "...It."
Evil Canadians 4 Life!

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CCharger
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 11:24 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Paddlefoot
a place where white guys are wearing shorts and Hardy tees all year round.


Janerd's living room?





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janerd75
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posted on 6-2-2016 at 11:42 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CCharger
quote:
Originally posted by Paddlefoot
a place where white guys are wearing shorts and Hardees tees all year round.


Janerd's living room?


FTFY for when you come...over.







�If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of A.I.D.S.� - Jimmy Carr

As per Count Zero's lovely transciption:
Jericho: "You better watch it."
Owens: "Yeah? Watch what?"
Jericho: "...It."
Evil Canadians 4 Life!

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nOOb
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posted on 6-3-2016 at 12:42 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I feel like the best way that video could have ended is if the owner of the house showed up and started yelling at everyone that he was going to call the cops if they didn't get off his property.





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