Dominator
And I am AWESOME 
Posts 149
Registered 7-5-2007 Location Florida Member Is Offline Mood: Cheeky
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| posted on 10-10-2011 at 06:29 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by JB KING
Muppet Show and Sesame Street are two diff...but...he barely...fuck it
Already kind of addressed the crossover, but I think Guy Smiley (or his twin brother) moonlights as the anchor of the Muppet News Flashes.
And since you went all "D'oh!" on me, I'd be all for South Park to be the next guest host. Cartman could tell belligerent wrestlers to
"respect his fuckin' authoritah!"
[Edited on 10-10-2011 by Dominator]
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Dominator
And I am AWESOME
Posts 149
Registered 7-5-2007 Location Florida Member Is Offline Mood: Cheeky
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| posted on 10-24-2011 at 02:43 AM |
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Just throwing stuff against the wall, has there ever been a wrestler with a ventriloquist/puppeteer gimmick? Someone had to have tried that back in
the day, right?
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lz4005
Showstopper
Posts 698
Registered 11-11-2003 Member Is Offline Mood: Oolitic
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| posted on 10-24-2011 at 02:56 AM |
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Rocco is dissapoint.
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Chris Is Good517
Posts 10711
Registered 1-10-2002 Location Little Rock, AR Member Is OnlineMood: punchy
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| posted on 10-24-2011 at 02:44 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Dominator
And since you went all "D'oh!" on me, I'd be all for South Park to be the next guest host. Cartman could tell belligerent wrestlers to
"respect his fuckin' authoritah!"
That would be fitting, since neither South Park nor WWE have been truly enjoyable outside of mere flashes of occasional good stuff in about a decade
now.
Gee, I wish I was still alive- LuckyLopez R.I.P.
Bachmann: "I haven't had a gaffe... when it comes to the best Republican who take
on Barack Obama and not have any clunker in my record to be able to take him on, it's me."
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Dominator
And I am AWESOME
Posts 149
Registered 7-5-2007 Location Florida Member Is Offline Mood: Cheeky
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| posted on 10-27-2011 at 09:28 PM |
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I hated the foreshadowing from the promo ruining the moment, but don't we now HAVE to get Kermit telling someone they can't see him?
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Dominator
And I am AWESOME
Posts 149
Registered 7-5-2007 Location Florida Member Is Offline Mood: Cheeky
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| posted on 10-27-2011 at 09:33 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Chris Is Good517
That would be fitting, since neither South Park nor WWE have been truly enjoyable outside of mere flashes of occasional good stuff in about a decade
now.
Dude... seriously? South Park is the best social commentary show in the history of television. Have you watched the brilliance of the last few
seasons?
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Matte
"Family Man" 
Posts 4479
Registered 12-16-2008 Member Is OnlineMood: #HEEL
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| posted on 10-27-2011 at 09:45 PM |
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Season 15 has been very suckish. The episodes are funny, but not so much compared to previous seasons. It's just such a downgrade that even
though it can be enjoyable, it's still disappointing because you're expecting more. I actually really enjoyed season 14, though. More than
most people, apparently. I don't know what it was about the episodes, but I was just really into them. Season 13 was just not good, in my
opinion. Skip it. Season 12 was pretty fun, if somewhat hit or miss from each episode to the next. I liked season 11, liked season 10, and I
won't go back any further but you get the idea. Each season kind of fluctuates with me, but maybe it's just preference or age.
But I agree, South Park on Raw would be cool, at least just to see what they could get away with. No chance of it happening, though.
"I'm a professional. I know exactly what I'm doing." - Jeff Hardy
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Matte
"Family Man"
Posts 4479
Registered 12-16-2008 Member Is OnlineMood: #HEEL
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| posted on 10-27-2011 at 10:08 PM |
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On topic:
http://www.pwinsider.com/ViewArticle.php?id=62857
TMZ.com featured a piece today on Hornswoggle, noting that he's getting several Muppet tattoos before Monday's Raw. He's actually a
massive Muppet fan and has been said to be the most excited of the roster about their appearance, although over the last month, there's been a
number of talents pushing to do different vignettes with them.
For those wondering, the actual Muppets will be at the event in person, so this isn't a case of them appearing on the screen and interacting
with stars in the ring.
http://www.tmz.com/2011/10/26/hornswoggle-wwe-muppets-tattoos-ink/#.TqnV20Mf5sB
WWE's resident little person wrestler Hornswoggle is so fired up about the Muppets hosting "Monday Night Raw" next week ... dude is getting
THREE tattoos in their feltish, fuzzy honor.
Hornswoggle is OBSESSED with the Muppets -- and already has 5 characters inked on various parts of body ... including Miss Piggy, Kermit and
Beaker. But now, Horn-dog has scheduled a marathon session Friday ... so he can add Fozzie Bear, Statler and Waldorf before Monday's
show.
Is this true?
"I'm a professional. I know exactly what I'm doing." - Jeff Hardy
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Biff_Manly
Man of a Thousand Holds 
Posts 1047
Registered 6-16-2006 Member Is Offline Mood: Ridiculous
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| posted on 10-27-2011 at 10:32 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Matte
Statler and Waldorf before Monday's show.
Cool, in time for them to shit on the fact that Hornswoggle is on the show. Pretty sad when your own tattoos are gonna say how much you suck and need
to get off the stage.
"Walter: I can solve everything by making this gramophone have sex with time."
--SCSA's Fringe on Ice Holiday Spectacular.
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Dominator
And I am AWESOME
Posts 149
Registered 7-5-2007 Location Florida Member Is Offline Mood: Cheeky
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| posted on 10-31-2011 at 05:03 AM |
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Since Statler and Waldorf are always spewing, I guess the question is do they go on the front or the back? Not that I'm going to require visual
confirmation, mind you. Or that I'm really all that interested in their position. Geez, why the hell did I bring it up?
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JB KING
 
Posts 793
Registered 12-4-2009 Location Oxnard, CA Member Is OnlineMood: Jamming
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| posted on 10-31-2011 at 07:55 AM |
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Hey this show aint half bad...
Yeah, its ALL BAD!
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Security should throw these guys out!
They cant!
Why not?
They are too busy keeping them in!!!
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
What move was that?
The medium suplex?
Medium?
Yeah, it wasnt rare and it wasnt well done!
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Ugggh my stomach...
Whats wrong with it?
Its either this match or indigestion, i hope its indigestion.
Whys that?
It'll get better in a little while.
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Looks like Cenas taking a beating tonight.
You think thats bad, the WWE universe takes a beating every night.
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
It looks like HHH wont be here tonight.
I wish some other people didnt have to be here tonight.
Like who?
Me.
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
What kind of promo is that?
A novelty act?
I dont know but it wasnt too bad.
I guess thats a novelty...
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
*Watches Hornswaggle*
You never know when something funny may happen
Did something funny happen?
Yup.
You'd never know it.
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
[Edited on 10-31-2011 by JB KING]
Two time Winner for 2010 Breakthrough Poster of the Year Award. You read that right.
XBL Gamertag: JB KING
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salmonjunkie
American Dream 
Posts 8338
Registered 6-25-2002 Location Sunny Seattle, WA Member Is Offline Mood: charged
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| posted on 10-31-2011 at 08:49 AM |
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JB, you are easily my favorite poster here these days. Thanks for that!
Personally, I think he�s a [freaking homosexual].
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Biff_Manly
Man of a Thousand Holds
Posts 1047
Registered 6-16-2006 Member Is Offline Mood: Ridiculous
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| posted on 10-31-2011 at 09:38 AM |
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That shit was pretty funny JB. Now I've got S&W; in my head going ohohohohoh.
"Walter: I can solve everything by making this gramophone have sex with time."
--SCSA's Fringe on Ice Holiday Spectacular.
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anglefan85
Showstopper
Posts 659
Registered 12-6-2005 Location The City of Angels Member Is Offline Mood: Relaxed
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| posted on 10-31-2011 at 04:05 PM |
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Statler: "You know, everybody got in here for free."
Waldorf: "Really? How does the WWE make money?"
Statler: "They charge them to get out!"
OOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
Statler: "Why do they keep saying this Cena guy only knows 5 moves? I just saw a new one."
Waldorf: "Yeah what was it?"
Statler: "It was making me move from my chair to out of the building."
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
ANd speaking of which:
*SPOILER*
quote:
-- At least three Muppet performers are scheduled for Raw�Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson and Bill Barretta. Therefore, all of the major Muppet
characters sans Gonzo will be at WWE's disposal. It is unknown whether Gonzo's handler Dave Goelz is scheduled for the event.
-- The Muppet performers were asked to prepare for a segment in which Statler and Waldorf handle commentary duties. This will likely occur during
"The Michael Cole Challenge."
-- A segment featuring the Divas in Halloween costumes is tentatively scheduled.
source: PWInsider.com
[Edited on 10-31-2011 by anglefan85]
The WWE: Where no one wins, unless you like Cena, in which case you are a sad little fanboy who will never get laid, but we are happy to take your
money away-Moosehead Jack
"She is an estrogen molotov cocktail. It'd be in your best interest not to piss her off."- My thoughts on Firewoman
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denverpunk
Showstopper 
Posts 969
Registered 6-27-2007 Location Mile-Hi Member Is Offline Mood: Stoked
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| posted on 10-31-2011 at 07:01 PM |
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Santino has GOT to sing the Muppets theme song. Make it happen, WWE.
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Dominator
And I am AWESOME
Posts 149
Registered 7-5-2007 Location Florida Member Is Offline Mood: Cheeky
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| posted on 10-31-2011 at 09:52 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by anglefan85
*SPOILER*
-- The Muppet performers were asked to prepare for a segment in which Statler and Waldorf handle commentary duties. This will likely occur during
"The Michael Cole Challenge."
source: PWInsider.com
OK, this could be the funniest thing on WWE this year... especially if the "commentary" is not just for TV.
And you're right, Denverpunk, "Eeesa time to play the muzak! (*trombone salute*) Eeesa time to light the lights! (*pulls lighter of his trunk
and waves it*) Eeesa time for all the Muppets to appear on Raw tonight!!! (*cannon sends Gonzo flying over the ring and into the Titantron*)"
That would be awesome. I still would've made this 3 hours and I haven't heard that they have yet.
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mooseheadjack
Posts 9714
Registered 5-13-2002 Location Making a list..... Member Is Offline Mood: naughty? nice?
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| posted on 10-31-2011 at 10:02 PM |
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I know I am in the HUGE minority here, but other than Statler and Waldorff, I think this is going to be a trainwreck of epic proportions.
I love the muppets
I love wrestling
the two should NEVER mix.
- The History of the OOWF: Archives at: www.oowfwrestling.com
- And Moose, seriously, shut the fuck up. - DSop
- Fuck you Moose. The worst part about it is that you are right. I fucking hate when you're right. - Metallikid
- 2008 World Series Champions Philadelphia Phillies
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Dominator
And I am AWESOME
Posts 149
Registered 7-5-2007 Location Florida Member Is Offline Mood: Cheeky
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| posted on 10-31-2011 at 10:23 PM |
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You, Moose? Think negatively about something? Think something the WWE does is going to turn out badly? I am SHOCKED!
Seriously, though, I don't doubt there is a possibility that WWE CAN screw this up. I just don't think they will. I think the
power of The Muppets won't let them.
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mooseheadjack
Posts 9714
Registered 5-13-2002 Location Making a list..... Member Is Offline Mood: naughty? nice?
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| posted on 10-31-2011 at 10:35 PM |
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I actually hope you are right, I just don't see how it can work. Then again, I am not a fan of my wrestling being PG, and that is what the WWE
has become, so it is a perfect fit for the Muppets.
Still, I am calling this Robocop in NWA levels of potentially bad
- The History of the OOWF: Archives at: www.oowfwrestling.com
- And Moose, seriously, shut the fuck up. - DSop
- Fuck you Moose. The worst part about it is that you are right. I fucking hate when you're right. - Metallikid
- 2008 World Series Champions Philadelphia Phillies
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Stu
Caledonian Crippler
Posts 3002
Registered 5-17-2005 Location Glasgow, Scotland Member Is Offline Mood: Scottish
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| posted on 11-1-2011 at 12:17 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by mooseheadjack
Still, I am calling this Robocop in NWA levels of potentially bad
But that was only bad because Robocop has no business crossing over with anything less than Terminator, whereas the Muppets always had lots of real
life guest starts on their shows. Though yeah I'd have more confidence in this if it was a Muppets show that WWE superstars were guest appearing
on rather than the other way around.
The TWO TIME bOOardie Award and Signed Bret Hart DVD Winner!
"Well, Jeff�s puddle throws up the Shocker, so I guess some things never change."
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Dominator
And I am AWESOME
Posts 149
Registered 7-5-2007 Location Florida Member Is Offline Mood: Cheeky
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| posted on 11-4-2011 at 09:50 PM |
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OK, sadly the time has come for us to put The Muppets episode, and ostensibly this thread to bed, and since I started it, I suppose I should be the
one to finish it. And with The Rick apparently on a week-long bender following the World Series triumph of St. Louis, I'll be doing it in a
semi-recappening style, attempting to approach Rick's nearly inimitable level of silver-tongued elocution. It will be approached in two parts,
traditional recap and commentary, followed by comparing it with the fantasy booking I began this thread with.
Part 1
Kermit The Frog & Miss Piggy w/Vickie Guerrero, Jack Swagger, Santino Marella, and Kelly Kelly (3:57) - Kermit and Piggy are introduced and
appear from behind a specially constructed countertop on the staging area. Kermit gives his trademark welcome and cheer, but before the two can even
express their excitement about being on Raw, a shrill "Excuse Me!" pierces the night.
Vickie Guerrero comes out with Jack Swagger in tow and she expresses her displeasure at having to share the spotlight with a bunch of livestock,
especially after the besmirchment her men suffered at the hands of Hugh Jackman a few weeks earlier. Swagger even goes so far as to mention a craving
for a ham sandwich with a side of frog legs if they don't make a hasty exit. Piggy bristles and tells Jack (a.k.a. "Frankenstein") to MAKE
them leave, but Kermit, ever the peacemaker always trying to make everybody happy, says The Muppets don't want any trouble from Jack or his
mother. Vickie is infuriated and steps towards Kermit with an "OMG, excuse me!" but is intercepted by Piggy who counters with a chest bump of her
own and an "Excuse moi!" As they go nose-to-snout we are interrupted by an operatic tenor before any real human-on-porcine violence can begin.
Santino Marella, slightly starstruck by The Muppets, first officially excuses everyone, then tells Swagger to back off because "Mr. John Laryngitis"
has informed him that Jack will be in the ring tonight against Santino. Kermit wishes "Santini" good luck, but Jack tells him to "Can it, Frog,"
and clamps down on Kermit's mouth. Kermit tries, rather hysterically, to wiggle out of Jack's jaw vise as he badmouth's Santino and
reminds him that he'll have his buddy Dolph Ziggler in his corner, before letting go of Kermit who collapses briefly beneath the counter. As
Piggy helps Kermit back up, Santino says not so fast, because Dolph will be busy in his own match against Zack Ryder, for whom Kermit and Piggy hit
the WWWYKI catchphrase. Santino was impressed by the, uh, impression, but then it's time to "Holla!"
Kelly Kelly comes out as the first participant in the upcoming Divas Halloween Costume #1 Contender Battle Royal. Miss Piggy asks the amusing
question, "Is she a cowboy or a pirate?" Without the toy sword, it might be hard to say. Santino quickly closes his eyes and purses his lips out
for a good luck smooch, but Kelly deftly sidesteps him and instead plants a big one on Kermit much to the chagrin of Miss Piggy. Kermit gets all weak
in the fabric (and Vickie cackles with schadenfreude) while Piggy exclaims her rage, demanding for Kelly to come back so she can make mince meat out
of her. Piggy also scolds Kermit to wipe the smirk off his face.
Seeing the countertop setup and this segment really buoyed my hopes for the evening. I thought Vickie, one of the few people on the roster, I
believe, who might've seen first-run airings of the original Muppet Show, could interact with The Muppets better than most and coach her men
through it. Turns out Jack didn't need any coaching and cut maybe one of his best promos ever. The physical comedy was better than I
could've hoped for with the Vickie/Piggy chest bumps and the Swagger/Kermit mouth clamping. Santino was also someone who I thought would be a
great partner in these scenes and I seriously debated putting him in the comic relief role I ended up giving to John Cena in my original post, just
spending the whole night doing shtick with The Muppets. I thought all performers were able to stay in character and play their parts well and help
get everyone over for the segment. Even Kelly's cameo at the end with the kiss fit in since Kermit mentioned her in last week's promo. I
never considered using The Muppets to react to match announcements, but once I saw it I thought it might be a good way to add some life around the
dead space that is Johnny Ace if he had any more surprises in the future. Turns out that never happened, but it also turned out that a lot of other
things didn't happen. But we'll get to that in a moment. For now, this was a rocket-busting start.
Segment Grade: A+
Bunsen & Beaker w/Christian & Sheamus (1:54) - Backstage, in the traveling Muppet Labs, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew has created a new energy drink that
is guaranteed to improve the speed, power, agility, and chronic halitosis for the WWE Superstar who takes it. He tells Beaker to spirit it off
quickly to Santino to help him in his match with Jack Swagger. However, before Beaker can make it down the hallway to Santino's locker room, he
bumps into Christian. Christian takes one whiff of the concoction and recoils unpleasantly and tells Beaker he's doing him a favor by dumping
it out. He bullies Beaker a little bit, until Sheamus comes up behind him and asks the fellas if there's a problem. Christian wants no part
right now and walks away. Sheamus sizes Beaker up and then smiles at him and says, "How are you, Arthur? How's it going?" I didn't
know Beaker had a first name, but I'll roll with it. The two exchange some brief small talk before Sheamus breaks the bad news that he'll
be unable to make the family reunion this year, but to give his regards to Aunt Theresa. Sheamus then spikes up Beaker's hair to make it look
more like his and gives it the big OK sign before taking his leave.
Can't see the forest for the trees. I was so set on having the Muppet Labs blow something up, that I didn't even think of the
pseudo-doppleganger Sheamus/Beaker possibility that really was quite obvious. Both Christian and Sheamus stayed nicely in character and Beaker
actually did sound a little Gaelic. I mean, c'mon, YOU try to understand that language. One good punch line and a good piece of physical
comedy that kids of all ages could appreciate. While not somehting I'd've thought of initially, pretty nice execution on all
fronts.
Grade: B+ (sorry, can't be an A here without a trademark Muppet Labs explosion)
Waldorf & Statler I (:26) - After the tag team champs lose a non-title match, but win the ensuing Pier Six brawl thanks to Sheamus, Waldorf &
Statler make their first appearance from high above ringside. They spoof the Stone Cold "What?" chant for a little and hit a marginal joke.
The production timing was a little off here, Waldorf's initial commentary didn't quite mesh with what had just happened in the ring,
and the joke could've been better. Plus, no one in the crowd reacted to them and that's half the point of their shtick. Nice idea, poor
execution. Hopefully we'll see better from them later.
Grade: C
Gonzo & Fozzie Bear w/Vickie Guerrero, Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler (1:09) - Gonzo and Fozzie are roaming the backstage area, amazed that
they're on Raw. Fozzie is awed by the size of the WWE Superstars and said one guy was so big he had his own zip code. Gonzo, resplendent in
ostentatious stuntman refinery, opines that while he's much smaller, he thinks he could still be a WWE Superstar if he put his mind to it.
After all, how hard could it be?
Vickie Guerrero, with a much more demure "Excuse me," and her men are here to offer a dissenting point of view. Gonzo reiterates his point, as
Fozzie tries to shoo him down, and even asserts he could be WWE Champ some day. Instead of a vocal counterargument, the human trio responds by Vickie
holding Gonzo's head down and Jack and Dolph each pulling one of his arms a good 5 feet out of their sockets go-go-gadget style. Jack uses his
yanked arm and hogties it around Gonzo's head and mouth. Dolph then issues a warning that none of The Muppets better get involved in their
matches later before moseying off.
Fozzie asks Gonzo if he's OK, but Gonzo gleefully responds, "How did those guys know I needed an adjustment?"
Typical corny jokes you usually see out of Fozzie & Gonzo, so I can't fault them there. And the Inspector Gadget arms probably made all the
kids laugh. Unfortunately, I think WWE messed up and either didn't have the house mics up or didn't have this up on the Titantron because
there was no crowd reaction the way there was for the Sheamus/Beaker interaction. Not bad, certainly had its place, but I would've preferred a
Fozzie that was more comfortable in his surroundings and giving a lot of happy zingers and waka-wakas. Scooter might've been a better pairing
with Gonzo in this segment, but that would've required another segment for Fozzie which apparently WWE didn't want to give.
Grade: B-
Animal & Beaker w/Jack Swagger & Santino Marella (:37) - Animal was introduced as the guest timekeeper for the match between Swagger & Santino
and he feverishly banged the bell which was cute. Then during the match proper, Santino fell near the ropes after breaking the anklelock and Beaker
popped up, presumably from under the ring, and handed Santino a new beaker full of the Muppet Energy Drink. Santino took one swig and started gagging
on the vile stuff before finally spitting it out right into Swagger's face. This temporarily blinded him allowing Santino to get the schoolboy
rollup for the win.
OK, this was real creative. I never in a million years thought a Muppet could interfere in a match. The camerawork for both the shots of Animal
and Beaker were really well done. I would've paid good money to see Beaker somehow join Santino for a tandem trombone salute. Or for Santino
to use Beaker AS the trombone. My only question was, where did Animal go? The post-match bell ring was very timid. You'd think with Muppet
interference involved, it would've been extra crazy. Still, great fun.
Grade: A-
Waldorf & Statler II (:29) - After Michael Cole makes his 3-minute diarrhea jokes about JR, we pan up... and up and up and up!... to Waldorf &
Statler in a luxury box. They have to be a good 300 feet from the action, way way further than it looked initially. They yawn, groan, and comment
that the only thing worse than listening to Michael Cole is... NOTHING! OH-HO-HO-HO-HO!!!!
OK, good one, obvious one, got a good pop from the crowd, the kind of stuff I expected to see more of on this night. But I must take issue now
with the "box" these guys were put in. I mean, this thing is way away from the ring, miles away from the stage, and well away from the fans who
would've been much better served to see them doing their heckling and chuckling live instead of pre-taped, as it now appears to be. I
would've extended the stage's countertop halfway into the entrance area so The Muppets could actually come out for their in-arena
segments, and I would've constructed a special "box" for Waldorf and Statler right by the stage next to where ADR would drive his car in. You
could make it comfortable for the performers and darken it when it wasn't in use so as to divert attention elsewhere. That Waldorf & Statler
couldn't rip Cole live throughout his promo the way they did Milton Berle (look it up on YouTube) was unfortunate. However, in terms of this
brief segment, it actualy was pretty good.
Grade: B
Kermit & Miss Piggy w/John Morrison, Hornswoggle & Cody Rhodes (1:26) - We smash cut from Waldorf & Statler to Miss Piggy fondling John
Morrison's abs backstage. Piggy tries to make plans with JoMo for after the show-show, but John says he already has plans. He does have a
friend who's free, though. Piggy looks around and asks if he's as good-looking as John, but she turns around to see JoMo's plopped
Hornswoggle down on the counter. Swoggle is excited about the prospect of a night on the town with Piggy and to show his interest, he flaunts his
brand new (as documented here on the OO boards) Muppet tattoos on his lower leg, featuring Miss Piggy. Piggy is initially impressed, but then
Hornswoggle moves in for a little kissy-kiss and pecks her on the cheek. Piggy is repulsed and karate chops him right in the solarplexus and storms
off. Horny sells it like a champ and Kermit comes up to him to see if he's OK. Hornswoggle recovers quickly and takes it as a true "love
tap," leaving all giddy as a schoolgirl. Kermit hits the line, "And I thought our show was weird." But wait, there's more! Cody Rhodes
arrives with disgust to put a small bag over Kermit's head. "Trick or treat... sheesh!"
Again, good use of all 5 characters in the scene with good quick pacing. The delayed juxtaposition of Piggy hitting on JoMo after her outrage at
Kelly smooching her Kermie sort of worked and spoke a little to the PG-13 humor that most Muppet fans aren't familiar with them doing (and which
I'd hoped for more of). Hornswoggle was a good choice for the infamous karate chop since at his size he could actually sell it well.
Cody's paper bag was a nice unexpected touch, although I'm not entirely sure what Kermit did to deserve it. Then again, that's kind
of Kermit's thing... always getting what he doesn't deserve despite his good intentions.
Grade: A-
Waldorf & Statler III (:26) - After the Miz is introduced for his main event match with John Cena, we cut to Waldorf & Statler in the box.
Statler touts Cena and mimics the You Can't See Me sign to which Waldorf says, "I can't see anything," (no shit, considering how high up
in the rafters maintenance closet you are) and Statler replies, "Well, he's going to be wrestling The Miz, so consider yourself lucky!
OH-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!!!" Statler then gets dizzy from doing the You Can't See Me sign too much and faints, falling backwards.
Easily their best bit of the night. My statements in the main Raw thread about WWE being scared about their talent being shown up by The Muppets
clearly didn't apply to true Main Eventers like Miz & Cena, or maybe those guys just said, "Hey, we're totally cool with them ripping on
us." This is what these guys should've been doing frequently. And from down by the fans, not from 3 stories in the ceiling.
Grade: A
Overall Cumulative Grade: Well, if I'm going to go back to school and say that a B is a 3.0 and a B+ is a 3.5, I'm going to right on the
cusp of near-greatness and calculate it out at about a 3.41. Overall, for what it was, it was pretty good. Could what they did have been better,
yes. Could the production value have been better, a little. Could the setup and staging have been better, hell yes. The quality was there and they
tried to satisfy all age groups with various levels of jokes. My biggest complaint was with the quantity. I realize The Muppets got roughly 8 1/2
minutes of air time, and you figure that's a decent percentage for a guest host, when you consider most half-hour TV shows only get 20-22
minutes minus commercial breaks. So you figure 8 1/2 out of 80-88, 10% or so, devoted to people not on your show might seem pretty generous in
WWE's eyes. But I think you could've done 2-3 more skits, included more talent on the roster and had a lot more fun with things. But of
course Rocky had to take 5 minutes to say 2 minutes worth of material, Michael Cole had to make diaper jokes, and while I thought Show/ADR told a
unique story, I really only needed one extended rest hold to get the point. I would've loved to have seen more live in-arena action and was
real disappointed, as I said before, to see that countertop only used once and Waldorf & Statler not getting any live interaction with WWE stars.
Part 2
OK, now we'll move on to the individual booking of Muppets & Superstars.
Miss Piggy - I got the karate chop I was looking for, and like I said earlier, Hornswoggle was a pretty good choice, and one that I
wouldn't have considered, to take it due to his size (I think he and Piggy might be in the same weight class). I also liked how Piggy, when she
was first introduced, referred to herself (as I did) as the Original Diva. The rest of the scene on the stage was great and I thought Kermit & Piggy
did some great script work and ad-libbing. What we got was good. We could've gotten more, which would've been better. The scene with
JoMo was also good for what it was. All in all, I think I got what I came for with her.
Grade: A-
Animal - Guest timekeeper was pretty good for him, but as I said before, he only did it pre-match which was confusing and disappointing.
It's been fun over the years watching Animal's character do different things other than scream and play drums and I thought the Diva Chase
would've been a great running gag. Too bad, but I guess there just wasn't time in a 2-hour show.
Grade: C+
Swedish Chef - Easily the most disappointing part of the evening. When Piggy and Kermit appeared from behind that counter, and then were
interrupted and I saw the full setup of how it appeared on stage, I thought FOR SURE there was going to be a Swedish Chef cooking segment up there.
And if nothing else, it could've ended with the always entertaining pro wrestling food fight. Beth Phoenix and/or Natalya could've been
humiliated by Eve and/or Kelly. JR could've dumped some barbecue sauce on Michael Cole. Santino and Zack Ryder could've flung some pasta
at Ziggler and Swagger adding to their feud for the night. Jack could've tried to retaliate with some tomato sauce that accidentally hit
Vickie. Santino could've also done some hilarious translating for the Swedish Chef. I honestly thought this was one of the must-haves on the
evening, even ahead of the fine folks at Muppet Labs. Building that countertop full of LED lights for a one-shot deal was a complete waste of time.
Grade: F-
Fozzie Bear - As I stated earlier, Fozzie's part was good for what it was, but Fozzie could've been hamming it up with other
Superstars instead of being petrified by some big bullies. And the only waka-waka we got came from Jack Swagger. Raspberries on this one, WWE.
Grade: C+
Gonzo - Liked the getup, but kinda bummed it wasn't part of a stunt that sent him flying across the arena. As I said, the arms thing was
good for the kids, but it might've been better if Swagger and Ziggler then used the extended arms to slingshot Gonzo down the hallway and into a
random pile of loud backstage crashables. Fozzie could've run up and asked if Gonzo was OK, and he could've come up with his arms wrapped
all around his head and hit his line just the same. Still, for what it was supposed to be, pretty good.
Grade: B+
Musicians - Music has always been a big part of The Muppets. The fact that the only music we got on the night was Santino's air trombone
was pretty weak. No Rowlf The Dog. No "It's Not Easy Being Green." (again, except spoken by Swagger) No Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem. I
understand that this was probably not a big deal given the aforementioned time constraints and they never wrote a WWE theme song for you to license
and sell, but this was another lost opportunity.
Grade: D+
Other Absentees - No Sam The Eagle. No Gorgon Heap eating any Superstars (which also could've been done to put an end to the
aforementioned food fight). No Lew Zealand, who could've come out during the food fight and thrown fish at people. No Pigs In Space. And how
awesome would it have been to have opened the show with a Muppet News Flash (another thing that could've been done at the countertop on the
stage) that then THREW to The Rock for his big announcement? "And in other news a bunch of puppets try to take control of a weekly wrestling show.
Some wrestlers have reportedly expressed displeasure at this and said they will take matters in their own hands if they need to." As he says this,
here comes comes Miz & R-Truth to stand behind the news anchor and then beat the crap out of him. Truth gives a big "YOU SUCK!" to the anchor, who
clambers back up all disheveled and says we now return you to your regularly scheduled program. Begin RAW entrance theme. Yeah, yeah, I know, not
enough time, right, WWE?
Grade: D+
Waldorf & Statler - I've said my piece about how they should've been closer to the action, closer to the stage, and able to
interact directly with the superstars. Again, what we got from the pre-taped stuff was okay, but I urge you again to look at the 3:00+ they did with
Milton Berle on YouTube. Can you imagine that with someone like Miz or Cena or Punk or Cole on the other end? Not that those guys are Milton Berle
level entertainers, but again, it really could've been better.
Grade: B
Scooter & Skeeter - As I said earlier, I liked pairing Scooter with Gonzo better than Fozzie in their scene. He would've been another
guy that could've been bullied easy and generated some heel heat. Overall, not a huge loss, though.
Grade: C
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew & Arthur (?) Beaker - Really liked their inclusion, thought the idea of an energy drink was a smart and logical way to
introduce their characters. Beaker & Sheamus was good and Beaker's match "interference" was a Wow moment for the TV audience and was really
well done production wise. Really wish I'd seen them blow up something, though.
Grade: A-
Kermit The Frog - Let's see, we got the Hi-Ho, the Kermit cheer, the mouth clamp and twitch to get free, the collapse, the smooch from
Kelly, and two instances of his character's typical no-good-deed-goes-unpunished misfortune, including the paper bag to close their appearance.
Frog's been a star for so long, he doesn't know anything else. How he and Cena didn't wind up together for a scene, though, is
beyond me.
Grade: A
Overall Muppet Grade: 2.52, just over a C+
Vickie Guerrero - I would like to proffer the opinion that she might be the most underrated performer in WWE right now. Generates instant heat
with two words. And if you rewatch the opening segment with Kermit and Piggy and just study her, she was pitch-perfect throughout. I wanted her in,
thought she could do well, and she was brilliant.
Grade: A+
Jack Swagger - Maybe the promo of his career and two great physical bits with Kermit and Gonzo. The hogtie around the snout of the latter was
a nice touch.
Grade: A
Santino Marella - His appearances with both Kermit & Piggy and the in-match Beaker cameo featured his usual impeccable comedic timing. Another
guy who had to be involved in this and did a super job, but, again, I thought he could've done more with more opportunity.
Grade: A-
Kelly Kelly - Short, sweet, and just ignoring Piggy as she made her move on Kermit was more of the Alpha Female side of her we've
recently seen. All without speaking, too. I like a woman like that! :-)
Grade: B+
Christian - Pretty good, but I thought he was a little off on his timing. I might've given that one more take backstage, guys.
Grade: B-
Sheamus - Similar to Kelly, short & sweet, plus a couple solid lines and got a good pop with the hair spiking.
Grade: A-
Dolph Ziggler - Kind of a hanger-on in his scene. Had one of Gonzo's arms, but didn't do anything with it after pulling it out. I
will also proffer the opinion that he's selling bumps almost as good as Curt Hennig did back in the day. Needs to work on his Muppet
interaction for next time, though.
Grade: C+
John Morrison - Had no trouble since there were no over-scripted lines, seemed pretty natural and had good facial expressions and timing with
Piggy. I know he's got it in him, why don't we see it more?
Grade: B+
Hornswoggle - It was a big night for him. Any dude who gets 5 tattoos to honor the appearing guest stars and still gets karate chopped by Miss
Piggy for his efforts can't get a low grade from me.
Grade: A-
Cody Rhodes - Short, sweet, in character, not sure of why he did it, though. Just to be a dick? OK, I'll buy that I guess.
Grade: B+
Missing In Action - No Ron Simmons "Damn!"?!?!? On THIS night? Really, WWE? No William Regal? Neither of your big champions, ADR & Henry?
And last, and certainly by every means most, your four top stars right now in terms of on-mic skills and ad-lib performances; Cena, Miz, Truth, and
Punk... absolutely ZERO interaction with The Muppets?!?!?!?! Are you fucking kidding me, WWE??!?! The only thing saving this from an F is my undying
gratitude for keeping Randy Orton off my TV for a week. Can't have the real puppet getting upstaged by actual puppets now, can we?
Grade: D-
Overall Superstar Grade: 3.3, right about smack dab between a B and a B+
Overall Performance Grade: 2.88, right between a B- and B
OK, so the WWE did their part and if WWE's goal was to make sure their guys came out looking good then mission accomplished. The Muppets grade,
as it turns out, was more about who WASN'T there than the performers who actually were. This I blame on WWE for not being more inclusive
and open to sharing the spotlight with their guest stars for this ONE night. Make some memories, not just for your fans, but for your employees, too.
You think CM Punk would've had a grand time recounting to his kids some day the time he was riffing with Waldorf & Statler on everything from
Swagger losing via Blue Energy Drink Mist to Michael Cole sucking the life out of the building?
Anyway, as I was saying, if you ignored those who were absent and just counted the Muppets who WERE there and did their thing, their grade moves up to
a 3.29, right behind the WWE Superstars. So all in all, a B to a B+ from everybody who was involved. Like I said at the outset, it was pretty good.
With a little bit of extra effort, though, not to mention some cooperation from the WWE Creative Team on pacing and storytelling and the USA Network
on extra time, it could've very easily hit the A-range.
As I stated over in the Raw thread, it's like reaching a tough par 5 in two and then 3-putting. You'd've taken the par when you
were standing on the tee, but after the crushed drive of Kermit & Piggy, and the solid 3-wood approach with Sheamus & Beaker, it was kind of a shame
not to at least birdie the hole, or maybe even eagle it.
Next time The Muppets are on, WWE, put me in charge for one night!!!
[Edited on 11-5-2011 by Dominator]
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