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Author: Subject: OOfficial Discussion Thread for: RAW (August 1, 2016)
OORick
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 12:06 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
OOfficial Discussion Thread for: RAW (August 1, 2016)

Tonight on RAW: Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman return to WWE for the first time since WrestleMania... WWE has officially disregarded Lesnar's drug test failures in UFC, as part time performers are not subject to the Wellness Policy (I've always wondered about that, especially with regards to Vince McMahon; but now, there's no real reason to assume the Rock or Triple H are entirely clean while maintaining their looks well into their 40s).... so it's full speed ahead to SummerSlam and a match against Randy Orton...

Assuming fans also don't give a shit about Lesnar's PED use (and I think that's a mostly safe assumption), he could be portrayed as either the badass babyface who just gets cheered due to his scarcity.... or Heyman could work his magic and try to make Brock the narrative heel... some sort of physicality will also preceed SummerSlam, but it cannot come against Orton himself due to the brand split... using Jericho might be the logical counterpoint to Orton decimating Miz on SD....

In addition to that one cross-brand match, RAW's top three roster-exclusive matches are set for SummerSlam... Finn Balor and Seth Rollins will fight for the "Universal" Title, no doubt with Steph/the Authority existing on the fringes as strong supporters of Rollins (Roman Reigns might also remain on the periphery, as he swore he'd be first in line to challenge the champion after SummerSlam).... Charlotte's obligatory rematch against Sasha Banks will also be at SummerSlam; now more than ever, it feels like a chance to introduce a stipulation of some kind, in order to facilitate topping last week's match in front of a sure-to-be-red-hot Brooklyn crowd.... and while not official, Gallows & Anderson should be challenging the New Day for the tag titles at SummerSlam, which is just fine by me...

Keeping Reigns in the spotlight will be another priority, and it certainly seems like -- for the first time in 2 years -- the possibility of a heel turn is actually in play.... if that's in the cards, my guess is it's saved till SummerSlam or afterwards, though, and in the short term, you could build on last week's 4-way by having Reigns work with Jericho, or shake things up and do a feud with Reigns/Owens as two guys on losing streaks who need to get back on track... also, Rusev will need a new #1 Contender (Sami Zayn is the perfect fit, if you ask me), but since he just got married to Lana over the weekend, I believe the two are getting this Monday off, and so we won't be able to address that until next week...

Plenty of other guys who might get lost in the shuffle for SummerSlam, but who can help fill up three hours tonight (Cesaro, Sheamus, Enzo/Cass, Golden Truth, the Shining Stars), although I'm not sanguine about WWE starting to lean too heavily on 1980s squash matches, as they did last week... not only was 4 too many, but other than the humours twist to the Enzo/Cass squash, they were just too one dimensionally bland to accomplish the goal of making anybody care about the squasher... we shall see...

That is all. End communication....

The flOOr is yours, OO Nation. Don't wait till after 11pm to post, either. Pre-show previewing and prognosticating is certainly welcome. So discuss, debate, and rate!

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DKBroiler
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 12:54 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I'm stuck in the airport. Vince has buried my flight.





Get off my lawn.

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RAWisRAM
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 12:58 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I, like everyone apparently, really enjoyed last week's RAW. And I can't believe I'm doing this, but I am going to respectfully disagree with the almighty Rick.

I actually enjoyed the return of squash matches. Call me old school, but I think one of the reasons wrestling hasn't been as fun as it once was is because none of the matches seem fresh. The inclusion of NXT superstars and new match-ups are what has myself, and many others excited to watch again.

I think this will continue to elevate talent who sometimes would have to take a loss during the month because well, someone has to lose when two guys fight. Plus it means there's less chances we have to see two guys fight for the first time on a throwaway RAW, and instead their match on a PPV will truly be the first time they've fought (at least under a WWE banner).

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janerd75
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:06 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DKBroiler
I'm stuck in the airport. Vince has buried my flight.


Holy shit dude, you will not believe what's happening in the ring right now. I didn't think they'd ever allow Lesnar to do that to a little kid. Kinda reversed the script of throwing things into kids in the audience by actually throw...well, you'll just have to see it. I guess he will be a heel after all.

And welcome RAWisRAM! I too also agree that there ain't nothin' wrong with a little Braun and grind. So long as there's a Razor vs. 1-2-3 Kid 'upset' in the cards down the road for somebody, I'm good with it.

ETA: I'll shit if they bust out an intergender match with Charlotte/Jerko vs. Sasha/???

[Edited on 8-2-2016 by janerd75]





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Count Zero
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:16 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by janerd75


ETA: I'll shit if they bust out an intergender match with Charlotte/Jerko vs. Sasha/???

[Edited on 8-2-2016 by janerd75]
How you doin?

ETA: I hope that Foley's CLIPBOARD~! is an intentional throwback to the olden-days of Clipboard Raw.

[Edited on 8-2-2016 by Count Zero]

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janerd75
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:18 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please!!!

ETA: OH GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE!!!! IT'S GETTING IN MY MOUTH!!!

[Edited on 8-2-2016 by janerd75]





Fuck Everybody

The science is settled: I'm fucking retarded.

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merc
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:25 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I like Enzo, but he has to stop forcing things into his catch phrases.

Good save by Jericho to yank the mic from Flair to let them run.





"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." D. Adams

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CM Crunk
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:31 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I can't believe how big a turnaround I've made on Jericho since his heel turn. Dude is solid gold right now, and yet prior to his heel turn I was questioning his relevance in todays landscape and looking to change the channel whenever he showed up. "....IT." coupled with the Bon Jovi/DirectTV references had me chuckling like an idiot.

Dynamite opening promo.

Also it was nice to see Enzo out there conducting his own business. I love Big Cass, don't get me wrong, but I oh so enjoy it when a tag teams members are fleshed out enough that they can operate autonomously and not have to be joined at the hip constantly trying to pool their personalities to add up to ONE over superstar.

And allow me to join in on welcoming RawIsRam to the bOOard! Relevant username is relevant!

Edit: and we return from commercials with Kevin Owens joining in on commentary. Much like Enzo operating on his own, I dig the fact that KO is out even though he doesn't seem to have any storylines going with the performers in the ring. I'm all for them continuing to have overlapping plot-threads. For too long it seems as if wrestlers ONLY exist in the timeframes allowed for their storylines. Stuff like this makes the show seem more organic.

[Edited on 8/2/2016 by CM Crunk]





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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:31 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Solid opener. And using Jericho AND Enzo helps give even more credibility to the women on RAW.
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janerd75
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:37 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Dogs and cats living together. It's mass hysteria.





Fuck Everybody

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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:42 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Feed Braun More!
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Il Palazzo
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:43 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
This week, we see Brown Strongpants fight Default CAW #5! I'm glad this thing will apparently happen every week. It's strangely amusing.





You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.

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Count Zero
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:43 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Braun's theme song confirms he's part-wookie.

GRAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I hope that guy is making more than 1000$ for this.





Originally posted by williamssl
"That hasn't stopped us from doing this shit before!"

"Checkmate, sir. Checkmate"

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CM Crunk
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:46 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Braun's theme song needs some proper lyrics...

NERRRRRRRRRDDDDDSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
My love for you is like a truck, BRAUN STROWMAN
Would you like some making fuck, BRAUN STROWMAN
My love for you is like a rock, BRAUN STROWMAN, BRAUN STROWMAN

BRAUN STROWMAN is just so obscene
Likes evil people, you know what I mean
He takes your soul and then just rips you apart
He'll steal your heart

Would you like to smoke some pot, BRAUN STROWMAN
My love for you is ticking clock, BRAUN STROWMAN
Would you like to suck my cock, BRAUN STROWMAN
Would you like some making fuck, BRAUN STROWMAN, BRAUN STROWMAN

BRAUN STROWMAN is just so obscene
Likes evil people, you know what I mean
He takes your soul and then just rips you apart
He'll steal your heart

My love for you is like a truck, BRAUN STROWMAN
Would you like some making fuck, BRAUN STROWMAN
My love for you is like a rock, BRAUN STROWMAN
Would you like to suck my cock, BRAUN STROWMAN, BRAUN STROWMAN





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janerd75
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:47 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
So, future planning: Who gets the rub of beating Blown Stormfront?

Also, Mizark's going to the Olympics? R.I.P. in peace, brah.

Muthafuggin' snoogins, Crunkers. Nong.





[Edited on 8-2-2016 by janerd75]





Fuck Everybody

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Il Palazzo
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:48 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
If only I'd had his theme song in whichever SmackDown game I went nuts with editing together bits of different themes in. I had a glorious moment of combining MVP's "I'M COMING!" with Jesse and Festus's "BISCUITS AND GRAVY!" that highly amused myself and a lone friend. I can only imagine what could have been done with GRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.





You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.

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Count Zero
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:49 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
R-Truth has an addictive personality.

He used to smoke, and now he's all hooked on the PokeyMans. Poor guy needs some 12 step help.





Originally posted by williamssl
"That hasn't stopped us from doing this shit before!"

"Checkmate, sir. Checkmate"

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CM Crunk
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 01:51 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Count Zero
R-Truth has an addictive personality.

He used to smoke, and now he's all hooked on the PokeyMans. Poor guy needs some 12 step help.


Can't wait for R-Truth to end up mining BitCoins or WoW gold by the end of the year.

Let's not overlook the fact that Goldust seems to be channelling Trini, the OG Yellow Ranger (R.I.P) with his facepaint tonight.

edit: Also, The Shining Stars need 2 things: Carlito, and a definable gimmick.

edit: Just chuckled at the thought of R-Truth kicking his GO! habit, but still spending most of his time on his phone. Turns out he's hunting a more dangerous game now. Bears. But that damn Grindr app he's using just doesn't work the same way. "It just keeps taking me to Darren Youngs locker room!"

[Edited on 8/2/2016 by CM Crunk]



[Edited on 8/2/2016 by CM Crunk]





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First 9
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 02:03 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
LOL at Rollin's laugh getting a pop.
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CM Crunk
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 02:06 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by First 9
LOL at Rollin's laugh getting a pop.




Seth coming out in full support of the patriarchy with those Ghostbusters comments! Not a good way to stay in Ball Buster Steph's good graces...

Edit: As logical as it might be eventually... I don't know if I ever want to see Seth turn face. Big ups to Finn for holding his own on the mic out there. He's still got a ways to go, but he at least came off as a serious competitor. "The only thing getting handed to you at Summerslam is YOUR ARSE!" is some Writer monkey wankery I can get behind.

[Edited on 8/2/2016 by CM Crunk]





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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 02:13 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Balor had MULTIPLE chances to mention his "other" side. I think most are expecting it, but unless he is winning, they can keep The Demon's main roster debut for later.

Or have him do the whole shebang, pop Barclays, and put the title on him and move on to Owens/Balor round 2.

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Count Zero
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 02:16 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CM Crunk

edit: Just chuckled at the thought of R-Truth kicking his GO! habit, but still spending most of his time on his phone. Turns out he's hunting a more dangerous game now. Bears. But that damn Grindr app he's using just doesn't work the same way. "It just keeps taking me to Darren Youngs locker room!"
And eventually moving on from that to Cougars... and the return of Vickie Guerrerro as manager of the Golden Truth? I don't even.... I think that might be awesome. Or turrible. I'm torn.





Originally posted by williamssl
"That hasn't stopped us from doing this shit before!"

"Checkmate, sir. Checkmate"

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janerd75
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 02:26 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Odd wedding gift, Vince, but okay I guess.





Fuck Everybody

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First 9
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 02:26 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Oh My God...

EDIT: I thought WWE was setting things up for Kurt Angle's return. Fuck you WWE!

[Edited on 8-2-2016 by First 9]

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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 8-2-2016 at 02:32 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Established, "traditional", non-cool heel.

No speaking.

Effectively using Roman? End of days are near.

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