by Erin Anderson
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Right after Lita's return last fall, the divas were on a hot streak. The crowd responded to them like they never had before, and the women even managed to steal the show a few times with some ultra-hot tag matches. Molly held the belt for an extended period of time, and creative wisely let her keep it around her waist in her brief feud with Lita. To top it all off, Trish was involved with Jericho in one of the most entertaining storylines this side of Eugene.

So what's happened? Now Lita is stuck in a hideous pregnancy angle, Molly shaved her head and has barely been heard from since, Victoria has abandoned the character that got her over the first place, and a logical one-on-one Victoria/Gail Kim title match was changed at the last minute to a fatal fourway in a bit of convoluted booking. Jazz is nowhere to be seen. Ivory is hosting a Sunday morning recap show that nobody watches. A logical Trish/Lita feud can't take place because Lita can't wrestle in her "condition."

It's a freaking mess, people, and the women's title still isn't being taken seriously. But instead of bitching about like I normally do, I'd like to respectfully offer WWE some suggestions on how to elevate the women's title in the eyes of the fans. If taken to heart, I'd wager that the belt could be viewed on the same level as the Intercontinental championship by the end of the year. Sound crazy? It can actually happen (and to the random assholes out there that feel the need to tell me that chicks are nothing more than a sideshow: spare me the e-mails. I won't answer them.) Some of these guidelines may seem like no-brainers, but I wouldn't feel the need to list them if WWE already adhered to them.

1. Employ at least eight women who can wrestle… and use them.

You can't have much a division with only four wrestlers who get airtime semi-regularly. If WWE is really running with Lita's pregnancy angle, then she's also out of the picture for the time being. That leaves Trish, Victoria, Molly, Gail, Jazz, and Nidia. Things are looking a bit light on the babyface side, so three things need to happen:

1) Nidia needs to be pushed as a legitimate wrestler,

2) the pregnancy angle needs to be dropped and never spoken of again. I don't care how you do it. Have Lita go to the doctor and find out it was a false positive; I don't care. Just get rid of it. And,

3) new blood must be brought in. The brief rejuvenation of the women's division last fall had everything to do with Lita's return -- fans got to see feuds with a wrestler whom they hadn't seen in over a year. A few new divas can really stir the pot and rekindle interest in the ladies again.

Now that Trish is the champion, she must appear on television every week, preferably in an in-ring capacity. The women's champion traditionally hasn't always been guaranteed a spot on RAW. Why is that? The IC and World champions are almost always given something to do, and the women's champ should not be treated any differently. Ignoring the champion ignores the title and underscores its importance.

And not only should Trish be on television every week, but she should be an incredibly dominant champion, whether it be through her own physical prowess or with help from Tomko or Christian. She shouldn't just be a pretty girl who happens to hold the belt -- she needs to go into full Bitch Mode, constantly reminding her competition and the audience that yes, she is the champion. Let her always win, even in non-title matches, to establish her supremacy -- even if she has to cheat to do it. Let the fans become so annoyed with her attitude and heel tactics that they are chomping at the bit for another woman finally kick her ass and take her title. If the cards are played right, the belt changing hands can be a momentous occasion.

2. Divas, meet the microphone. Get to know each other well.

Typically, diva + microphone = wince-inducing segments. Remember Trish's first promo after turning heel? Had Jericho not been there to bail her out by calling her a slut, the whole segment would have tanked. But it's impossible for a wrestler to improve promo skills without practice. Look at Chris Benoit: long considered not much of a talker, he was finally given regular mic time during his title chase following his Royal Rumble win. The result? He may not have turned into the Rock, but he improved markedly and now seems quite at ease on the stick.

The divas need the same opportunity. A few weeks ago, Trish redeemed herself with an entertaining segment in which she hijacked the Highlight Reel. And the women shouldn't just be given promo time; backstage segments are often more effective in establishing a wrestler's personality than any promo can be. This is where someone like Nidia can really shine, as she showed us back in her days as Jamie Noble's valet that she's a natural in backstage bits. The more personality these divas are allowed to show, the more the fans will care about them. They won't just be pretty girls who can wrestle; they'll have characters as well.

3. Let them interact with men as their equals.

I've addressed Lita's newfound wimpiness before, and it's not just a horrible development for her character. It reflects on the entire women's division when a girl cowers in a corner whenever a man tries to physically intimidate her. This shit has got to stop.

I don't expect someone Trish's size to be able to kick a man's ass in the ring, but the women need to stop showing fear at the threat of physical punishment from anyone, male or female. The women need to adopt the same type of attitude as the men. They need to interact with the men in promos and backstage segments as their equals (whether friend or foe), and not always as possible love interests. Bischoff needs to conspire against troublesome female babyfaces the same way he would Benoit, Edge, or Shelton Benjamin. Conversely, the female faces should hate Bischoff and not make any bones about it.

It isn't difficult, WWE: think of a storyline that you would write for a man, and use the women for it instead. It doesn't matter how clichéd the story arc, because it will seem fresh and interesting if the divas are involved in something that doesn't involve jealousy, boyfriends, or hair.

4. Yes, you can have more than one storyline involving the divas at once.

Duh.

5. Step up the physicality.

The most entertaining women's feud I have ever seen was between Trish and Victoria. What made it such good television? These women tried to destroy each other. We saw weekly brawling between the two, hardcore matches, and even a chairshot at one point.

Women's wrestling needs more of that: more stiff contact in the ring, more chairshots, hardcore matches, cage matches, and the use of devastating finishing moves rather than roll-ups. I am not suggesting that WWE try to reincarnate ECW through the divas, but the ladies are more than up to the challenge of stepping it up a notch -- especially if Jazz is brought back on television.

6. Stick a muzzle on Lawler.

Jerry Lawler's incessant tongue-wagging is fine when Stacy Kiebler is in the ring. A throw-away comment about Victoria's ass during her ring entrance is understandable. Acting like a 13 year-old during a bra-and-panties match is to be expected.

But why, for the love of god, would Lawler spend more time talking about Victoria's visible thong during a women's cage match than, say, the actual match? Lawler is capable of interesting commentary that pertains to the actual match he's watching. I heard him do it once in 2000. But somebody needs to get the word to both Lawler and Jim Ross that their commentary oftentimes kills any credibility the women may have. If the announcers don't care about a women's match, why should the fans?

It isn't just Lawler who can ruin a women's match. Ross if often just as guilty as the King -- simply because he often doesn't seem to care what's happening in the ring and comes up with half-assed explanations for the actions of the divas. A typical exchange between the announcers goes something like this:

Lawler: Why do you think Molly and Gail hate Trish so much?
J.R.: I'd imagine because they're jealous of her.

Thanks, Jim. Very compelling.

The writers are at fault just as much as J.R. here, because they never give him any interesting storylines or characters on which to wax poetic. But he also has a tendency to be lazy when calling the action, half-heartedly referring to Lita's "modified slams" and letting his attention drift to other storylines for too long (probably in hopes that the King will keep a leash on his libido.) The more on-point the commentary is, the more the women will get over. It's that simple.

E-MAIL ERIN
BROWSE THE BROAD'S ARCHIVES

Erin Anderson is an Atlanta native and a student at Georgia State University. Since writing about wrestling didn't go over too well with her English professors, she vents here at Online Onslaught.

All contents are Copyright 1995-2014 by OOWrestling.com.  All rights reserved.
This website is not affiliated with WWE or any other professional wrestling organization.  Privacy Statement.