Hey, PF --

I don't know what the fuck the deal is with Bulldog anymore. Nor what the deal is betwixt you two. But the bottom line is that he pitched that little diva act at the end of his column last week about "OO needs me more than I need it," and then right after that, he got all snippy with me and started talking about taking some time off.

Now, granted, he's taken weeks off before, but I get the distinct impression that this time, he's doing it just to spite me; I usually get his column by Tuesday morning, and now, it's Tuesday evening and no ItR. Which begins to grate on me a bit, because I NEVER FUCKING DID ANYTHING in this stupid dick waving contest you two are having.

Just to protect my voluminous manhood, I've decided to ask you if you want to step in and do a "scab" version of Inside the Ropes this week. I make no promises about the long-term future (for all I know it's just miscommunication between Bulldog and myself or something)  but for at least a week, I think it'd be a fun (and Mostly Harmless) little gimmick for you to do to further whatever your thing with Bulldog is.

Lemme know what you think....

Rick

So, for this inaugural edition of the NEW Inside the Ropes, we’ll be looking at something important. Something I’ve wanted to talk about for awhile. Something that was inspired by Llakor after reading this column in the Online Onslaught Features archives. Because although a character can be defined in a specific moment, a single image, so to can they be defined by something far more common: their gestures.

No, I’m talking about Rick’s favorite types of gestures (the Broad kind). I’m talking about a wrestler’s signature gestures.

From D-Generation X’s crotch chops to Steve Austin’s middle fingers, a wrestler’s symbol to the world represents him or her almost as much as his music. Just as the opening gongs of the Undertaker’s song fills the air with a chill, so to equally does his “Power of the Urn” pose. Can you honestly tell me that you don’t feel a bit of his “power” when he kneels in the middle of the ring and extends a hand up to the ceiling?

If you look through recent history, you’ll see that all the fan favorites had the best gestures. We already mentioned Austin’s birds, but what about others? nWo Wolfpac’s simulated wolf heads were recognizable by fans of all of the Big Three. The gesture was not only a part of their name, but a statement to the world. “We act like wolves. We fight together, we’re vicious, and we will not stop until we get what we want!” Confidence, power, a mission statement, all from pressing three fingers together!

Even a poor wrestler can have a great pose. Randy Orton may be a jerk, but few can argue that his pose speaks volumes of his persona. His arrogance is portrayed in his smirk; his strength is defined by his flexed muscles; his confidence is shown from his spread-armed “come get me” stance on the corner of the ring. Only someone so in touch with his character-whether it’s close to reality or not-can encompass such attitude with such a simple gesture.

So, yes, Llakor was indeed right that a character’s entire being can easily be summed up in a single moment of time, a single image on our TV screens. Thing is, it’s not always a rare instant in a defining pay-per-view match, or some result of a “big spot.” Such a great effect, an important moment of wrestling, actually happens for most wrestlers on a weekly basis.