My next book was (tentatively) titled "The Rise and Fall of RDH", which was to chronicle the good times and bad times in the Really Damn Hardcore Wrestling Alliance, arguably professional wrestling's most extreme promotion.

What do you mean, "RDH doesn't exist and never has"?

Surely you've heard of some of their top competitors, such as "The Royal Danish Destroyer" Sjesh Kluffomeyer? The tag team combination known as Los Burritos? One-Armed Murray? At the very least, I'll bet you have a DVD somewhere containing matches of The Wrestling Rabbi, no?

And if RDH was just a figment of some Internet jerk's imagination, do you think they would have really gone to the trouble of building a separate MySpace page?

Okay, okay, so I can finally break "kayfabe" and admit it was me, Canadian Bulldog, who launched RDH. That said, it was really the group's promoter, Brad Slater (also me) who caused most of the mischief. The reason Brad was invented was because there was an outside chance some of these guys may have remembered Canadian Bulldog pranking them earlier.

So for about five weeks last year, Brad and I engaged in a little campaign (with help from my good friends Mad Tony and The Big Rybowski) to get RDH off the ground. This was, of course, before I realized I didn't have the time to pursue this with any regularity. Hey, YOU try starting up a promotion some day -- it's hard work!

Below are some of my favorite responses (our letters in black, the responses indented and in red italics) from actual wrestlers, including one who acknowledges the presence of a certain Internet jerk we all know and love. Enjoy!!!

Dear Scotti Ryggs,

Brad Slater here for the Really Damn Hardcore Wrestling Alliance (motto: "Really DAMN Hardcore!"). We are holding our annual Winter Warfare show out of Toronto this year on Nov. 26th. Might we count you in?

Here's how it would go down: You know how when you were working for WCW, they had you sitting in the audience as part of Raven's Flock? Well, we'd like you to be sitting in OUR audience for part of an exciting new gimmick. It would be the exact same thing, only without cameras on you guys because we have none.

Please let us know ASAP if you'd be willing to do this for us.

Sincerely,
Brad Slater

Brad,

Just returning your inquiry ... Yes, there is a peakin' of interest on my side ... please contact me at ... (EMAIL ADDRESS WITHHELD) ... to discuss the details of your idea and how I can help you create something ... plus any other personal/business info necessary ... looking forward to continued conversation.

Scotty Riggs

Dear Mr. Ryggs,

Thanks for agreeing to do our show. It's November 26th. I'm not sure what personal/business info I can provide -- what were you looking for, exactly?

I met with our booking committee this morning, and they've made a slight change to the plans, as it were. Instead of sitting at ringside and keeping to yourself, would you mind pushing random fans who are sitting too close to you? They apparently want to develop a character who feels he needs his "personal space" and this would help launch this persona. I'm not saying you would have to piledrive them or anything, but a good solid bodyslam to the ground would show our fans to "expect the unexpected" at RDHWA shows.

Thanks again for your interest. Please let us know if you need any directions to the venue, etc.

Brad Slater

Brad, Not to raise any red flags here but, first there are flight arraingements, hotel and pay-out fees to be discussed ... I would be coming in from Savannah, Ga ... a round trip ticket would have to be booked, e- ticketed with a confirmation number sent to me, it would have to be purchased by the pomotion for Scott Antol (my family name), next hotel provided by and paid for by promotion (holiday inn or better), with confirmation number sent and finally a pay-out fee of $350 (appearance fee since no wrestling is being required as of yet) with $150 sent in advance, once this is agreed to and done ... then we have a business deal done to work together to make your show successful. Hopefully this info is not a surprize and if it is, I'm sorry that you concluded that I agreed to do your show prematurely. That's why I replied back with the e-mail address to discuss business and personal information. Contact me back if you are still interested in doing business. Thanks.

Scotty Riggs

Sir,

I apologize if there was any confusion. I sometimes get ahead of myself without thinking things through (all part of a wrestling injury I suffered four years ago as the result of a botched piledriver).

I will check with the championship committee, but I'm not sure if we can come up with $500 to have you show, plus the costs related to the Holiday Inn, airfare, immunization required to get into Toronto, etc. That sounds too rich for our blood, but let me see what I can do.

Unlike Buff, I won't let you down!

Brad Slater

Brad, Just keep in contact with me ... also, to let you know, because it is just an "appearance fee" it is a total of $350 ... $150 sent in advance and $200 (in cash) night of show ... just keep me informed for Nov. 26th isn't to far away ... everything else is the promotions responsibiltity. Thanks.

Scotty Riggs

 

Dear Honkie Tonk Man,

Brad Slater here for the Really Damn Hardcore Wrestling Alliance (motto: "Really DAMN Hardcore!"). We are getting ready for our annual Winter Warfare show out of Toronto on Nov. 26th and were wondering if we can count you in?

The gig would be fairly simple. You would appear as our surprise "Greatest Intercontinentional Champion Of ALL Time" in a match against B.J. The Wrestling Bear. It is an anything goes match, but not to worry, as B.J. doesn't really use plunder or whathaveyou. However, you would be free to use chairs, tables, fake guitars, whatever. B.J. sells it all like a pro.

Anyways, please let us know ASAP if you're interested. 

Sincerely,
Brad Slater

Thanks for contacting us.

In order to give you the most accurate rate, please give me a little more information on the event.

Who is this worker? Who trained him? How long has he been wrestling? We don't typically do hardcore wrestling.

- What other name workers have you used? or do you plan on using in the future?

Thanks for your interest. If you can give me this, I can give you a quote.

Ryan

Hi, Ryan. To answer your questions:

B.J. The Wrestling Bear has been competing at wrestling events and carnivals for about three years now. His "moveset", as it were, was taught to him by famed animal trainer Jeb Tennyson Lund.

It doesn't *have* to be a hardcore match, just because our name and motto is "Really DAMN Hardcore". I'm sure we could work something out. It's just that B.J. doesn't have a lot of scientific holds, per se.

Among the "name workers" we are talking to about Winter Warfare include: Showtime Eric Young, Scotty Riggs, Alex Shelley, Ultimo Dragon and Vik Viking.

Thanks for your interest,
Brad Slater

Awaiting reply...
 

Dear "Showtime" Eric Yung,

Brad Slater here for the Really Damn Hardcore Wrestling Alliance (Motto: "Really DAMN Hardcore!"). We are holding our first annual "Winter Warfare" show out of Toronto on November 26th, and were wondering if we could count you in?

You know how on NWA T&A; shows, you're always worried that you're going to get fired? Well, what we'd like to do is have you show up at Winter Warfare and have Commissioner Stuart Stone fire you for no apparent reason. Then you can say "What the hell did I come to Toronto for, then?" and we'll still let you compete in a match with Boris the Grabber.

Please let me know ASAP if this sounds like something that would interest you. 

Sincerely, 
Brad Slater

i would be interested

all my bookings go through Bill Beherns

here is his email (WITHHELD)

thanks

Showtime

Dear Bill Barons,

Brad Slater here for the Really Damn Hardcore Wrestling Alliance (Motto: "Really DAMN Hardcore!"). I have spoken to Show Time Eric Yung about appearing at our Winter Warfare event out of Toronto. He has agreed to the appearance but asked to make it through you.

Here is the deal: Eric will show up, get "fired" and then for some reason, booked on our show anyways in a scaffold match against former champion Boris The Grabber. We have no problem putting your guy "over" as he appears weekly national television as a spaz, whereas Boris was only on a taping of Shotgun Saturday Night circa 2000.

Please let us know ASAP if this will be all right. We're looking forward to having him at Winter Warfare!

Sincerely,
Brad Slater

A scaffold match???? What sets that up?

Regardless, I'd need to date for the show please to try to confirm.

$400US plus air & hotel out of Nashville.

Bill Behrens

To answer your questions:

-- The show is on Sunday, November 26th with a bell time of 7:30 p.m. 

-- A ring crew sets up the scaffold for the match beforehand (and no, despite what you've heard, they AREN'T a "bunch of drunks who don't know what they're doing", thank you very much, Pro Wrestling Torch!). In our history as a company, the scaffold has only fallen over once, and at that, no one was seriously injured except for a couple of kids who were "fooling" with the whole thing.

Please confirm if this is acceptable.

Brad Slater

I never knew you had a scaffold fall over nor anything about drunks. Just wondered why a gimmick match would be used without a big set-up story that made sense.

If Eric is OK with it, I am.

Here's the problem, however Eric is in Monterrey, Mexico at a TNA House Show on Nov 25 with flights already purchased, so I do not know exactly how you can get him to Toronto from Mexico in time for the show.

He's okay with it. And again, they're not drunks.

I didn't realize about the Mexico situation. You can sometimes book flights out of Monterrey to Vancouver, Vancouver to Regina, Saskatchewan (with a stopover in Winnipeg) and then straight to Toronto, but I'm wondering if that would really be worth the trouble. 17 hours in the air for a four-minute wrestling match? Hmmmm....

We do have another solution, though it involves helicopters and paying off certain people at certain borders. Though I doubt your client would want to have go through with that and the $$$ involved (it's not cheap!). Let me know if interested, and I contact my people on the inside there.

Sincerely, 
Brad Slater

He wouldn't be able to leave Monterrey until the morning of your show so with flight times and a three hour time difference, I can not see how it could work, but I'm open to a solution if there is one.

Dear Ultima Dragon,

Brad Slater here for the Really Damn Hardcore Wrestling Alliance (motto: "Really DAMN Hardcore!"). As you probably know, Nov. 26 is "Luchador Appreciation Day" in Toronto, and as a result, we are putting together a spectacular card called Winter Warfare. Might we count you in?

In the grand luchador tradition, this is going to be a grueling 64-man (or "person", to be politically correct, although there is one wrestling bear involved) tournament to crown a NEW RDHWA champion. You yourself would probably have about 6 matches before losing in the semis in a "flaming ladder" match.

What do you say? A portion of the proceeds goes towards the Canadian Bulldogs soccer club, so it is for a worthy cause at least. And our floors won't be slippery like they were at WrestleMania 20, believe you me.

Sincerely,
Brad Slater

Brad,

My name is Gary and I work with Ultimo Dragon. Thanks for the offer but we like to book Ultimo 3-4 months in advance. He will be working in Japan on Nov. 26th.

If you have any other dates fell free to contact me here.

thanks again,
Gary

Dear Gary,

We may be able to push it back to Nov. 28, but that's as far back as we can probably do it (need to pay rent money, which is due on Dec. 1).

Let me know!

Brad

Thanks Brad.

When you book Ultimo you are booking him for 1 match only. Tag or a single match. I can't risk him working 6 matches and then a flaming ladder match. Your talking big money for something like that. Forgive me, but that is what you are saying right?

thanks again,
Gary

Not exactly. Six matches would have INCLUDED the flaming ladder match, so it wasn't like seven separate bouts or anything. Also, I should point out that these wouldn't be particularly grueling matches because most of our workers aren't all that good.

I suppose we could give him a "bye" between rounds two and three after the scaffold match or something. Does that work at all?

Brad Slater

Hey Brad,

I don't think so. I do appreciate the offer but I can only book him 1 match at a time. I can do 2-3 nights in a row but only 1 match per night.

thanks,
Gary
 

Dear The Maestro,

Brad Slater here for the Really Damn Hardcore Wrestling Alliance (Motto: "Really DAMN Hardcore!"). We are getting ready for our Winter Warfare show out of Toronto on Nov. 26, and wondering if we could count you in?

It's a pretty simple appearance: You will be playing your piano, entertaining the crowd, etc. as you did when you had a job with WCW, and one of our top competitors (Vik Viking) will confront you and tell you that your music is crap. The two of you scuffle, and both end up inside the piano (there's room; I've checked) at which point RDHWA Champion Sjesh Kluffomeyer will set the piano on fire!!!

Please let us know ASAP if this is something we can count you in for. 

Sincerely,
Brad Slater

Thank you for your message and interest. Unfortunately I have prior committments on that particular date. But thanks again and best wishes
 

Dear Orlando Johnson,

Brad Slater for the Really Damn Hardcore Wrestling Alliance (Motto: "Really DAMN Hardcore!"). We are getting ready for our Winter Warfare show out of Toronto on Nov. 26 and were wondering if we could count you in?

We understand (at least through reading Meltzer's rag and World Wrestling Insanity) that you may be bisexual. We at RHDWA obviously have no problem with that and refuse to discriminate against any possible performers.

But we were wondering if you could "play" that type of a character at our next show. It would only be for entertainment purposes and may involve making out with RHDWA commissioner Stuart Stone (who is straight, but what he doesn't know won't kill him).

Please let us know ASAP if you can attend.

Sincerely, 
Brad Slater

Hi Brad, very interesting request you have. Please send me a contact number to farther discuss the details, booking fee, and accomadations for this event.

thank You

Orlando Jordan

(Bulldog's Note: I believe there was actually some further correspondence between myself and OJ, but damned if I can find it right now. Sorry.)
 

Dear M-Dawg-20,

Brad Slater here for the Really Damn Hardcore Wrestling Alliance (motto: "Really DAMN Hardcore!"). We are just in the midst of putting our Winter Warfare show for Nov. 26th together, and wondering if we might count you in?

I've had the opportunity to see many of your hardcore and backyard matches (thank you, You Tube!) and I think you'd be perfect for what we have planned: We are attempting the first ever six-person tag team, intergender, flaming scaffold match. People said it couldn't be done after the "toppling" incident last year, but we believe we have the situation well at hand now.

Anyways, please let me know ASAP if you're interested.

Sincerely,
Brad Slater

Hey Brad,

I charge $500 for bookings. Take care -Matt-

Thanks for responding. Now..... does the $500 also include hospital bills? I'm only asking because it can get quite expensive here in Canada (the free medicare is only for our residents) and we have a lot of sick plans in mind. Just saying it could go over the 5 bills mark....

Brad

Awaiting reply...
 

Dear Super Rosie,

Brad Slater here for the Really Damn Wrestling Alliance (Motto: "Really Damn Hardcore!"). We are holding our first annual "Winter Warfare" show out of Toronto on November 26th, and were wondering if we could count you in?

We have a veteran character called Gerald the Gardener (real name: Gerald T. Gardiner) who has been running his mouth about you for some time. He doesn't believe in superheroes or costumes and just wants wrestling to be "the way it used to be" (e.g. restholds, no theme music). We'd like you to be the guy to finally shut him up.

Now.... Gerald is 68 years "young", but I know that some wrestlers have some preconceived notions about that. Don't worry -- he won't keel over in the match or anything. And even if he did -- no one's blaming you. LOL!

Let us know ASAP. Toronto needs a Super Hero!

Sincerely, 
Brad Slater

Sorry bro, The SuperHero's in Japan till Dec.2nd..Maybe another time..Thanks for thinking of me..ttys..R

(Bulldog's Note: Remember when I told you someone may be on to my shenanigans?)

Dear Alec Shelley,

Brad Slater here for the Really Damn Hardcore Wrestling Alliance (motto: "Really DAMN Hardcore!"). We are holding our annual Winter Warfare show out of Toronto this year on Nov. 26th. Might we count you in?

We are hoping to recreate a scene like last year's, in which an incredible 50 competitors battle it out for our coveted "flaming" World Title. It's kind of a reverse-cage battle royale thing (a bit complicated, but then again so is the show that you're on).

What do you think? Please let us know ASAP.

Sincerely, Brad Slater

P.S. Leave Big Sex Killer Kevin Nash at home. He's nothing but trouble!

Well, I know if I were going to book a show, I would definitely do the following:

-Use a played out term like Hardcore in the motto AND name of the company
-Definitely run an oversaturated wrestling market like Toronto
-Have a "flaming" world title. Which, of course, has been defended in possibly Toronto, and...um. Toronto. Not to mention it's apparently so hot it's ON FIRE!!!!1111!!!!!11111!!!!
-Book 50 wrestlers. I'm sure 50 are necessary. All 50. That's not too many or anything.
-And then, when you pay to bring me in, put me in a "reverse cage battle royale thing". Definitely using your talent wisely.

In case you couldn't tell, the above is saturated with a pretty high dose of sarcasm. Forgive me, it's just that sometimes I get these emails on myspace for shows that aren't going to happen, spell my name wrong, and then copy responses into books for people to read.

Tell ya what, I'll do your show for free if you come to Detroit on your own bill, and work a weekend for my side project, DDI, Dog Dump Inc. I employ people to go pick up dogshit from peoples backyards and compensate them with bottles upon bottles of my piss. Think about it!

Mr. Shelley,

Apologies for spelling your name wrong (you'd be surprised at how often that happens). I'm sorry you don't seem to be "into" our concept, but just to address some of your concerns:

-- Yes, there is a lot of wrestling in Toronto, and we had to establish our "Really Damn Hardcore" name some time ago to distinguish ourselves from others in the region, such as the RHWA.
-- The flaming World Title is not actually on fire when people are competing for it. It's just an additional "gimmick" to get people in the arena. We can't compete by having big names on our shows -- we have to do something.
-- I'm not sure what's wrong with having a large roster competing in a reverse cage battle royale? You only have 6 or 7 people in it, and the fans crap on the concept (see also: Autumn Armageddon).

Anyways, my deepest apologies if we offended you with our offer. We are just trying to put on a show that we think our fans will get a "kick" out of. And as far as people who "copy responses into books for people to read", I'm not sure what kind of a dog would engage in such a practice. That's bull!

Sorry about the whole thing, 
Brad Slater

Awaiting reply...