by Matt Hocking    
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

THE VERY BEST OF 2003

BEST WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Shawn Michaels.
1st Runner-Up: Chris Jericho
2nd Runner-Up: Kurt Angle

Comments: I was split on who to give this vote to, until a few minutes ago.  Chris Jericho has had a stellar year both in the ring and on the mic, but in the end my vote goes to Shawn Michaels.  Shawn went from “never wrestling again” last year to now being an active full time wrestler this year, and along the way he’s had matches that good wrestlers half his age would die to have.  Again, Jericho makes a strong case.  He’s been in three really great angles ( v. Michaels, v. Austin, and v. Trish) and has really been the MVP of RAW, but he’s in his prime, making Michaels’ accomplishments to me seem all the more stellar.

My token Smackdown vote goes to Kurt Angle who went from almost retired at the beginning of this year to wrestling some fantastic matches including some against some very good contests against lesser opponents.  I almost handed it to Brock Lesner, who basically carried the Smackdown brand, but Kurt far outshines Brock when it comes to being able to work the crowd (Brock’s most over chant is the Angle coined “You Tapped Out” and in terms of his interview skills.  Brock has more time than Kurt which bodes well for his future, but even with the injury time, I think Kurt beat him out.

BEST TAG TEAM OF THE YEAR: The World’s Greatest Tag Team
1st Runner-Up: The Dudley Boyz
2nd Runner-Up: Rey Misterio and Billy Kidman

Comments:   Haas and Benjamin pretty much walked away with this one, with no serious competition all year.  Everyone was either hurt (Los Guererros), too green (Cade and Jindrak) or never teamed regularily (Misterio and Kidman).  Benjamin could be a big time player in the future and Haas, for his part, seems to have the technical aspect of the sport (but he needs to work on his promos).  They seem to take their tag team wrestling seriously, which is refreshing in a world of singles.  Rey and Kidman weren’t a tag team throughout 2003, but every match they took part in was fairly good.  They get the nod here not for lack of another team to put here (there were plenty), but more because I think there was and still is (when Kidman is healthy) lots of potential for this team to make a fun run in the division.

The Dudz are my Token RAW team, but token in name only.  While many put forth the idea that the act is stale, there are few teams with their ability to work up a live crowd.  That ability may be waning, but The Dudley Boyz are still the poster children for 2003 tag teams.

BEST FEMALE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR: Victoria
1st Runner-Up: Trish Stratus
2nd Runner-Up: Molly Holly

Comments:   Surprise Surprise, a sweep by RAW.  It’d be very simple to just write in Trish Stratus here, but honestly Trish was wearing on me until she hit the Jericho story, which happened a bit too late in the year to save her from my wrath.  Victoria on the other hand got consistently better as a performer, all the while having to deal with the fact that she was the second banana on the B-List show.  Even still, she was consistently entertaining with Stevie and to me, deserves the award for the longevity of her improvement this year more than anything.

While Trish is running a close second, Molly is running a distant third.  Let’s face it, it’s either her or Lita (no, it didn’t cross my mind to vote for Gail or Ivory or even My Darling Stacy…or any of the Smackdown Girls).  She is already the best women’s wrestler in the division, and her makeover has given her some sexual appeal.  Unfortunately, her run as champion has been peaks and valleys (not her fault) and she ended up jobbing out to a story about Chris Jericho and Chris Tian’s gambling problems (again, not her fault).  So it may not be her fault that she’s third, but there she is…

BEST FEUD OF THE YEAR: Chris Jericho v. Shawn Michaels
1st Runner-Up: Kurt Angle v. Brock Lesner
2nd Runner-Up: Steve Austin v. Eric Bishcoff

Comments: Jericho/Michaels is the easy choice for me just because I enjoyed every facet of that feud.  From the build to the final matches, I thought that Chris and Shawn put on the most stellar feud of the year.  Angle and Brock is more of a throwback for me to be able to award them the “Best Feud of 2002” award.  Really the feud went all the way through this year (and ostensibly will STILL be going once Kurt gets to full strength), but I think that the best parts of there actual feud came in 2002.  Still, for longevity’s sake it gets a vote.  Austin v. Bischoff also went well into the year, and featured some hits and misses (Jericho/Austin was a “hit”, the redneck triathlon was a “miss”).  Still, Austin rarely missed a chance to amuse, and Bischoff played his smarminess to perfection.  It isn’t over, which keeps it from getting any higher in my book, but then again, it wouldn’t have beaten out either of Jericho/Michaels or Brock/Angle anyway.

BEST MATCH OF THE YEAR: Shawn Michaels v. Chris Jericho (WrestleMania 19)
1st Runner-Up: Team Austin v. Team Bischoff (Survivor Series)
2nd Runner-Up: Brock Lesner v. Kurt Angle (Summerslam)

Comments:   Again, this category was a no-brainer for me for the top spot.  Jericho and Michaels both brought their A-Game to the table at Mania and it really showed.  It ranks up there for me for one of my favorite Mania matches of all time, and it was certainly my favorite match this year.

Team Austin/Team Bischoff was almost out of contention from the start.  Some sloppier work by some of the lesser competitors dragged it down, but then something almost magical happened.  As the sides began dropping, and Shawn Michaels was all that was left for his team, Shawn pulled out an absolute clinic on great wrestling.  He carried this match to be one of the better ones of the whole year, and for that performance, I’ll give it my number two spot.  Just for sheer volume of ok-good matches, I figure I’d have to give one to Kurt Angle and Brock.  I thought about giving one of the Big Show matches some consideration, but I decided that I’d go with the Angle/Brock Summerslam match instead.  It was legions better than their Iron Man Match (which was really just ok) and ended better than their WrestleMania match.

MOST FAVORITE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR: Chris Jericho
1st Runner-Up: Shawn Michaels
2nd Runner-Up: John Cena

Comments: A flip flop from my Wrestler of the Year award on the simple fact that while Michaels was more inspirational/historically important, Jericho really cemented his spot at the top of the list of guys I love to watch.  Shawn stays in the top two though, because as I’ve said, he’s had such a tremendous year.

John Cena has become my top reason for watching Smackdown.  He’s got tremendous presence, a quick wit, and he’s not faring too poorly in the ring either.  He’s easily my favorite worker on the Smackdown brand and one of the guys I can see staying at the top for a long time in the near future.

THE OTHER BEST OF 2003

BEST TECHNICAL WRESTLER: Eddie Guererro
1st Runner-Up: Shawn Michaels
2nd Runner-Up: Chris Benoit

Comments: Eddie is a joy to watch in the ring, and he usually keeps everything very tight which I appreciate while I watch the matches.  Shawn has regained his top form and his attacks and bumps are very, very crisp.  Benoit is my vote to appease my smark reading audience because I’m going to piss them off later.  Hi, guys and gals.

BEST HIGH FLYER: Rey Misterio
1st Runner-Up: Eddie Guererro
2nd Runner-Up: A.J. Styles

Comments:   Rey is really the only guy who deserves to win this category, because he’s the only guy to successfully take “high flying” and make it mean something other than “Spot Fest” all year long.  Eddie is not much of a high flyer anymore, but he’ll get my vote for some tremendous bumping and flying especially earlier this year.  Styles gets my third vote, if for nothing else, than because he’s really the only guy known for his aerial stunts that hit world title pay dirt this year.

BEST BRAWLER/POWER WRESTLER: Brock Lesner
1st Runner-Up: John Cena
2nd Runner-Up: Big Show

Comments: A Smackdown sweep?  In the BRAWLING category?  Say it ain’t so!  Ah, ‘tis true.  There are plenty of guys on the RAW roster (HHH, Goldberg, Rock to name three), who I would have felt perfectly fine giving the award to, but I thought I’d show Smackdown some love for bringing brawling back to the forefront on a show that’s all about cradles and suplexes.  Brock and Show is really a joint award for some really great work this year, but I had to shunt Show down the list, because I wanted to credit John Cena for knowing his limitations and using that to his advantage when wrestling.  His brawling style fits his character, hides his weaknesses, and is every bit as entertaining as most of the aforementioned “serious wrestling”.

BEST INTERVIEWS: Chris Jericho
1st Runner-Up: John Cena
2nd Runner-Up: Theodore Long

Comments: At one point earlier this year, Chris Jericho was simultaneously feuding with Shawn Michaels, Test, Stacy Keibler, and, I believe, a head of cabbage and he was managing to draw all those storylines together.  Later, he was feuding with Michaels and Austin, and again, everything went together.  Now he’s making a credible feud out of himself and Christian v. Trish Stratus and Lita.  While he may not have gotten any catchphrases over this year, the important thing is that he was the most effective interview on either show.  Cena stepped up huge this year and made the rap gimmick (which annoyed me last year) work.  Now he’s the most over interview on Smackdown, and he was able to transition from heel to face with it with ease.  Sure it’s not going to work in a face to face interview (and I hate his “Ooookay!” catchphrase), but it’s clever and different, and there’s no arguing with success.  Teddy Long gets the third spot because he’s so damned funny.  I don’t’ care how worthless the feud, Teddy always makes it seem worthwhile.  Lifetime achievement awards go to The Rock and Raven for having a stellar year, but only in a “Ho-hum, that’s what I expected” kind of way. 

BEST HEEL: Vince McMahon
1st Runner-Up: Triple H
2nd Runner-Up: Paul Heyman

Comments: One wrestler.  One.  Triple H takes the second slot for being a heel throughout the entire year, and being a big dick about it in the process.  There’s nobody on the WWE roster more hated than HHH and he loves it.  Vince McMahon is the perfect heel, and as such, he takes the top spot.  His acting is so over the top, his segments have been so terrible, and yet I can’t help but love to hate the guy.  Nobody can deliver a great soundbyte like Vince McMahon, and young heels should pay attention to his heel mannerisms, especially the way he carries himself.  Classic heel.  Heyman gets the third place vote for being a big dick both in his run as Team Angle’s manager and now his run as Smackdown GM.  He’s so slimy and easy to hate he makes Eric Bischoff (who I could make a case for in this category) look like a kitty.

BEST BABYFACE: Shawn Michaels
1st Runner-Up: Bill Goldberg
2nd Runner-Up: Steve Austin

Comments: I was debating putting Cena up there, but I’d like to see him get a title before I start singing the praises of his babyface run.  Hell, he might have one as soon as the Thursday after I write this, and then my point will be moot.  Shawn had some missteps on the road of babyfacedom, but he still elicits a great response, and was probably the most consistent face this year.  Goldberg has a massive following and when it is evident it is always VERY evident.  Austin, despite basically retiring after WrestleMania, is always going to draw huge pops, and was a bigger babyface than anybody on Smackdown all year long.  Yet, he’s number 3.

BEST CHARACTER/GIMMICK: John Cena, Professor of Thuganomics
1st Runner-Up: Chris Jericho, Smarmy Jerk with a Heart of Gold?
2nd Runner-Up: Brock Lesner, Guy who Tapped Out

Comments: Simply put, John Cena’s rapper gimmick made him.  It turned him from Vanilla Babyface to Vanilla Heel to Vanilla Ice, but gave him a hook to get fans interested in him.  From there, he took it over and made people sit up and take notice.  Without it, he’s jobbing to Kanyon on Velocity.  And NOBODY jobs to Kanyon.  Jericho’s ever changing character who may or may not be a face acting like a heel to hang out with his friends is great writing.  It’s compelling enough to keep you watching for the next turn in the story, but not so over complex that the intricacies are lost on you.  It’s partially Jericho’s acting and partially a well written character, but then again, it’s pretty wishy-washy for the top spot, so it’s number 2.  Three is fairly recent, but the “You Tapped Out” chant for Brock Lesner really has rejuvenated his character and given it focus.  Prior to that, partially do to injuries to his main foil Kurt Angle and partially due to his poor interviews, Brock was treading water as the champion, but now he’s got some drive heading into the WrestleMania stretch.

MOST IMPROVED WRESTLER: John Cena
1st Runner-Up: Randy Orton
2nd Runner-Up: Trish Stratus

Comments: Let me tell you a secret:  Last year, I never though I’d be talking about Randy Orton or John Cena in anything NEAR a main event status.  And yet, here they are.  Cena is closer to the main, so he gets the bigger nod.  I’ve already described my thoughts on Cena, but Orton is an interesting case.  While there has been a lot of criticism, and rightfully so, he has turned up his performance from his time as a white bread babyface to now.  AgainI could never have predicted his rise to this level.  Part of it is due to push, sure, but part of it is Orton making the most of his opportunity, and I’ll give him credit for that.  Trish, meanwhile, has really worked hard at becoming a more complete performer (inside and outside the ring).  While her skits with Jericho show she has a long way to go, she’s leaps and bounds ahead of where she was last year.

MOST UNDERRATED WRESTLER: The Hurricane
1st Runner-Up: Stevie Richards
2nd Runner-Up: Raven

Comments:  Hurricane really showed what he was capable of early this year when he went on a tear first against Rock, and then against HHH.  His size and his gimmick are holding him down (he’s tall enough, but he can stand to gain a little mass…NOT by steroids, of course, but he could stand to put on some weight to make himself a little more intimidating), but the guy deserves better than “Comedy Skit Guy!”  Stevie Richards, meanwhile, has quietly done everything he can to make Heat a must watch show, and while he’s credited for it on that program, he deserves better.  Hell, he deserved better in the RTC days.  Unfortunately, I think his history of injury makes people leery.  Raven should already have won the NWA title.

BEST SECOND: Theodore Long
1st Runner-Up: Ric Flair
2nd Runner-Up: Stacy Keibler

Comments: Theodore Long deserves this if only because he can make Rodney Mack, Jazz and Mark Henry somewhat entertaining.  He’s the best manager going today.  Flair is a bit of a mystery, because while he certainly deserves a nod for his part in Evolution, he’s really just an outside force for the stable, not really integral at all unless he’s wrestling.  So I’ll give credit, but no extra credit, he’s number 2.  Stacy is…My Darling Stacy.  She adds all sorts to a match.  For me.  Next.

BEST TELEVISION PERSONALITY: Tazz
1st Runner-Up: Jonathan Coachman
2nd Runner-Up: Eric Bischoff

Comments: Tazz is simply a brilliant announcer.  He explains everything to fans, without having to dumb it down or gloss over it.  He’s hampered by his ability to be distracted by Cole, but I won’t hold that against him too much.  Jonathan Coachman became entertaining out of nowhere.  He was an annoying little stick of an announcer, then a sudden heel turn later, he’s suddenly entertaining as “Coach, the arrogant announcer.”  How the hell did that happen?  Bischoff is a gift at Number 3 for a year’s worth of playing the same basic character as he did for years in WCW, but always finding little turns of phrase or moments of true heelishness that kept him as King Dick throughout the year.

"HOLY SHIT" MOMENT OF THE YEAR: Kane Unmasked
1st Runner-Up: Goldberg first appears on Monday Night RAW
2nd Runner-Up: Ric Flair gets a title shot against HHH

Comments:  Let me start out by saying that while Rock’s appearance and Foley’s insertion as General Manager were “Holy Shit” moments for me, I’m reluctant to include them in this award because Rock’s appearance ultimately meant nothing, and the full effects of Foley’s story haven’t been felt yet.  Kane unmasking get the top billing because, while everyone always TALKED about it happening, nobody really believed it would until, one day, it did.  Even I was at a loss to figure it all out, but now that it’s all played out, I can honestly say that I didn’t expect it.  While everyone knew that Goldberg was going to be on RAW to confront The Rock, it was still a huge Holy Shit moment for me to see him standing in the same ring with Rock, with the WWE logo in the corner.  That moment went away after a short time, but it still lives on in my head with the “Nitro on RAW” clip as a moment that I NEVER thought I’d see in a trillion years.  While not nearly as meaningful as the Holy Shit moments above, Ric Flair’s title shot and subsequent near win over HHH was a Holy Shit moment in how beautifully it played out over that night, and how, for the briefest of moments, those two guys convinced me that Flair could win.

FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE YEAR: The Rock’s feud with The Hurricane
1st Runner-Up: John Cena raps a Thanksgiving Blessing
2nd Runner-Up: The return of Gillberg

Comments:  The Rock v. Hurricane feud was without a doubt the single most clever and funny non-angle the WWE has put together in the last few years.  It was meant to be funny, and the characters and the actors pulled it off with real charm.  If I had to choose just one promo, I’d have to go with John Cena’s Thanksgiving blessing, which despite being utterly tasteless, had my non-wrestling watching family rolling on the floor.  The return of Gillberg, however short lived, was simply priceless for a recovering Gillberg fan.  I finally got to see my dream confrontation!

BEST WRESTLING SHOW: WWE RAW
1st Runner-Up: WWE Smackdown
2nd Runner-Up: WWE Velocity

Comments:  Almost gave TNA a throwaway vote in the three spot, but I wanted to give the WWE credit for making Velocity a show worth watching every week.  They did much the same thing with Heat, too, but the wrestling is consistently better on Velocity, so I’ll let it get this vote.  Smackdown was a good show all around, but it always felt flat, to me, because there was rarely anything going on around the wrestling.  RAW showed the most consistent balance of good wrestling, decent story telling and compelling characters, and it gets my number one vote without question.

BEST MAJOR EVENT: WWE WrestleMania 19
1st Runner-Up: WWE Royal Rumble
2nd Runner-Up: WWE Survivor Series

Comments: Three joint PPVs is the only way I can go, because none of the split brand PPVs were important or memorable enough to note.  Rick tried to convince me that Smackdown’s Vengence PPV was worth it, but historically it means nothing and frankly, I found much of it to be off-puttingly boring.  WrestleMania deserves the top spot anyway for having several great matches, good story and being the single most historical PPV event of the year.  Royal Rumble is a selfish vote, because it is my favorite PPV of any year.  I love the Rumble match, and the Benoit/Angle match was the icing on that proverbial cake.  Survivor Series was a fun one, and had some important matches for the future (notably Michael’s big run and Cena and Benoit’s key wins).  It was both important and enjoyable, so I’m making it number 3.

BREAK-OUT PERFORMER OF THE YEAR: John Cena
1st Runner-Up: Randy Orton
2nd Runner-Up: Big Show

Comments: Cena and Orton are pretty self explanatory.  I think it’s fairly obvious that the WWE is behind these two to become huge stars and (despite what Jeb says) they’ve been fairly successful.  Cena captured a huge portion of the WWE’s audience even while he was still a heel, and Orton took his spot in Evolution and vaulted up to near main event status.  My third pick is a little different.  I took Big Show, because while he didn’t have a “Break Out” year in terms of how one usually pictures (he’s finishing the year in the same card position as he started it), 2003 did mark his return to a regular main event spot, and probably his best in-ring year ever.

BREAK-OUT PERFORMER OF NEXT YEAR: Chris Jericho
1st Runner-Up: The Hurricane
2nd Runner-Up: Edge

Comments:  When Edge comes back, he’ll be immediately considered a threat to whoever holds the Heavyweight title at that time, however that’s a big “when”.  Mania time is a great time to come back, but he’ll be coming in right when things are building up, and might get lost in the shuffle.  Hurricane, I think, has been poised to have a good year for a while now, but it hasn’t happened yet.  I think that if he bulks up just a little bit, he could be a serious semi-main eventer by the end of next year.  Jericho is an interesting selection for this category since one could say he’s already “broken out”, but I think 2004 is the year where injuries and retirements force the WWE to give him his first run at being the top guy in the company, rather than a well regarded second fiddle. 

BEST "REAL WORLD" NEWS OF THE YEAR: WWE signs Bill Goldberg
1st Runner-Up: Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels get DVDs
2nd Runner-Up: Pushes given to younger wrestlers

Comments: While there are a number of people who might consider Goldberg’s run in the WWE botched, I am not one of them.  Quite frankly, I think they’ve done all they wanted to with Bill, except a match with Steve Austin.  However, just the fact that they signed him after years of his pouting, and figured out a fine way to use him reasonably well was fun for me to see. 

The DVDs were a great touch to both men’s careers, and a nice start for the WWE to now compile these things for other legends and superstars.  Now that the WWE already has another in the works (Foley), this development is only going to get better.  My last choice was just a note that it is nice to see different faces like Cena and Orton working their way up the card.

THE bOOby PRIZES

WORST WRESTLER(S) OF THE YEAR:  Nathan Jones
1st Runner-Up: John Heidenreich
2nd Runner-Up: Bradshaw

Comments: In a way, I feel bad for Nathan Jones.  He’s been around for a little while, he has a tremendous look and a built in gimmick, but the poor guy just cannot hold himself together in the ring (or apparently outside it).  The guy looks like a natural for his position, but the fact is, between his blown spots, injuries and walking out, Nathan was a huge disappointment.  Hnnrnnr, while I love to mock him, almost killed the only reason to watch Heat.  Twice.  It’s time he went back to learning the basics.  Bradshaw makes my list for being Bradshaw.  I’m not offended by the guy, I don’t hate him, he’s just not very good and he’s not getting any better.

WORST NON-WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Jerry “The King” Lawler
1st Runner-Up: Sable
2nd Runner-Up: Linda McMahon

Comments:  Lawler has lost his ability to focus on the match and is now simply around to try to be clever.  As comically interesting as this sometimes can be, it’s not comical for the right reasons.  Jim Ross is still the best announcer in the game, but you’d never know it with Jerry hanging around him.  Sable has the distinction of not only being the most unattractive woman on her show (which says a lot with Nidia hanging around), but also the most useless.  Her entire point for coming back has been to hit on Torrie and make out with Vince.  Huh?  It is nice, though, to see Vince dating within his own age group.  Linda is a fine character.  She represents near neutrality, and can be a helpful tool in advancing a storyline past the limits the typical power characters can take it.  However, Linda was involved in no fewer than two angles this year, this is not a good thing, considering that she is about as interesting an interview as Benoit…I mean a potted plant.

WORST FEUD OF THE YEAR: Torrie Wilson v. Dawn Marie Wilson
1st Runner-Up: Vince McMahon and Sable v. Stephanie McMahon
2nd Runner-Up: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler v. Jonathan Coachman and Al Snow

Comments: Any one of the three deserve it.  Torrie and Dawn was so pointless it was ridiculous.  When even the announcers on your own show are mocking how stupid it all is, it’s time to move on.  Vince and Stephanie was actually not SO bad based on the shear fact that the live crowds seemed to be into it, and because it gave Vince the chance to do his quote machine interviews where he speaks entirely in soundbytes to give the production guys something to work into commercials.  However, none of that made the feud a good idea.  Speaking of not being a good idea, the announcer feud provided several terrible matches, inane interviews and ultimately accomplished nothing.  It did, however, bring about the genesis of Evil Coach, so I can’t hate it entirely.

MOST OVERRATED WRESTLER: Rob Van Dam
1st Runner-Up: A.J. Styles
2nd Runner-Up: Booker T

Comments:  No, no Benoit here.  While the ‘Net screams and screams for the WWE to push him, Rob Van Dam continually does nothing to deserve that push.  I like the guy, but not in a main event spotlight, especially given that his matches are overdone spotfests and his interviews are poor.  A.J. Styles is a great worker, but he is not World Champion material.  Not that there are many people who are in NWA, but when your champion is that generic it’s time to take a long hard look at yourself.  Booker T continues to get rave reviews for his workrate which consists almost entirely of three kicks, two slams, and some punches done in a different order every match.  I like Booker too, but I love him in spite of his faults, not because of them.

"GODDAMMIT" MOMENT OF THE YEAR: Al Wilson Dies
1st Runner-Up: Raven Loses to Jeff Jarrett
2nd Runner-Up: Moolah defeats Victoria

Comments: Nobody is supposed to die in pro-wrestling.  No, I’m not talking about actual wrestling deaths, I’m talking about on the show.  I understand, in fact I revel in, the fact that wrestling is very very fake.  But when one is confronted with the “death” of a character, it shatters the already thin veil of fantasy that surrounds the wrestling world.  Raven’s first title loss to Jeff Jarrett was an absolute travesty.  Jarrett was losing momentum and Raven had more behind him than anybody in the company.  It was the perfect time to give Raven a title run, but instead Jarrett beats down half the locker room and retains.  Third on the list is Moolah’s birthday present to Moolah, a victory over Victoria.  It was a nice gesture, but seeing as the women’s division is kind of over at this point, it felt a bit cheap.

WORST "REAL WORLD" NEWS OF THE YEAR: WWE signs Sable
1st Runner-Up: The Rock goes to Hollywood full time
2nd Runner-Up: NWA-TNA pursues Hulk Hogan

Comments:  Adding Hogan to the roster may help NWA in the short term, but it would be like an NFL team going out and signing Joe Montana tomorrow.  Sure, it might draw some interested fans, and yeah, he might still be able to make a good play or two, but ultimately, it’s not a very good idea to put all the weight of your franchise on the shoulders of a guy who couldn’t go the last time he was in big games.  Rock leaving was expected, and really good for him, but the taste of Rocky-goodness that we got in his Rock Concerts, feud with Hurricane and even his last appearance are the worst kind of teases.  It’s just Rock saying “Look how fun it can be with me around…oops, bye!”  I hate that.  But the worst news of the year for me was the WWE signing Sable.  I’ve outlined why above.  I understand that Vince wants to get back at her for leaving him years ago, but she really is the most pointless addition to the WWE roster in all of 2003.

Awards without Comments!

RAW Satire Award for Best NickName: John Hnnrnnr
1st Runner-Up: Chris Tian
2nd Runner-Up: “Dave” Batista “Davidson”

Golden Stomach Award for Best Sandwich to Eat During RAW: Classic Italian BMT
1st Runner-Up: Meatball
2nd Runner-Up: Peanut Butter and Jelly

Matt Hocking Award for WWE Star Who Needs A Laser Light Show Intro: Tommy Dreamer
1st Runner-Up: Josh Matthews
2nd Runner-Up: Funaki

Thanks For Coming Award for Best Backstage Dude/Dudette in a WWE Skit: Tough Enough Jessie
1st Runner-Up: That Guy who looks kind of like Tommy Dreamer
2nd Runner-Up: Tommy Dreamer

Award Award for Best Award: Thanks for Coming Award
1st Runner-Up: The Golden Stomach
2nd Runner-Up: Award Award

I demand recounts!  Uh…wait.  Anyway, 2003 was a transitional year for the WWE.  The sloppiness of the last two years faded away in the first half of 2003, and things have really started to pick up.  Whether or not that trend continues remains to be seen, but I have faith.  I hope you all had a great 2003, that you found something about the crazy world of professional wrestling to enjoy, and that you enjoy 2004.

E-MAIL MATT    
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