I Walk Alone (Batista’s Theme)
Performed by Saliva

WWE’s had kind of a fascination with Saliva dating back five years when they used “Click Click Boom” as the theme for No Mercy in 2001 (yes, I looked…part of that up). Since that time, Saliva’s done a bunch of other theme music since then, so it’s no shock to see them here. I really like the song, the guitar has a really good drive to it, and while it suits Batista well, it’s also a fairly good song in and of itself. I mean, lyrically it’s no masterpiece, but at least it sounds good.
Rating: ****

Burn in My Light (Randy Orton’s Theme)
Performed by Mercy Drive

HEY! This is pretty much the first I’ve ever heard of Mercy Drive, though they apparently did the “Tough Enough”/Maven theme. For what it’s worth, apparently Mercy Drive lost the rights to this song to WWE in some legal wrangling, so at least WWE‘s lawyers are good for something. The first thing you’ll notice is that the song isn’t presented like it is on TV (the first “HEY!” isn’t until 1:05 in), but it actually helps. It really comes off a lot better on the CD than it does on TV. It’s still a pretty pedestrian piece of music, but it’s utterly listenable.
Rating: **1/2

Hard Hittin’ (Jonathan Coachman’s Theme)
Performed by Homebwoi

I’ve never heard of Homebwoi, but a little research says that he’s apparently a pretty popular rapper to collaborate with including stints with the Yin Yang Twins among others. It’s pretty clear to see why, he’s got a good voice, and while the lyrical material isn’t super great, it’s easily kind of lost in the vibe of the song. That said, there’s a certain amount of humor that Coach’s theme music would be called “Hard Hittin’”. If nothing else, this track reminds me as something that would be right at home as one of the background tracks on Madden or one of those other EA games, good background music.
Rating: ***1/2

Crank It Up (Big Show’s Theme)
Performed by Brand New Sin

Brand New Sin is apparently a fairly new band, and this is their first major release. Essentially, this is a direct word for word cover of Show’s current theme, which is fine all by itself. They kind of give it a grumbly rock and roll once over (the guitars are a big harder and it’s not nearly as twangy), but still, I think the original stands up much better. It’s not horrible or anything, but the song is so familiar, that this really does nothing to make it better.
Rating: **

Holla (Candice Michelle’s Theme)
Performed by Desiree Jackson

Desiree Jackson, from all I can tell is a new artist with this being her first major release. Removed from the WWE setting, I actually really like this song. It’s kind of got that laid back, late ‘90s female R&B vibe that might not be perfect for a wrestling entrance theme, but is just the right kind of song that it would feel comfortable on a radio station between Ciara and Rhianna. Overproduced to hell, but in just the right kind of way.
Rating: ****

A Girl Like That (Torrie Wilson’s Theme)
Performed by Eleventh Hour

This seems to be Eleventh Hour’s first major release as well. They’ve got the same kind of sound as a lot of the generic college rock bands that came through a few years ago after the wave of neo-rock in the vein of the White Stripes kind of died off. “A Girl Like That” is bubbly and free of pretension, which I like, but it doesn’t really work. Either as a theme song (I kind of miss “Not Enough for Me” for Torrie) or as a song song, really.
Rating: **

Quien Soy Yo (Who I Am) (Carlito’s Theme)
Peformed by Kaballon

For whatever it’s worth, Kaballon was apparently WWE’s second choice for an artist to do Carlito’s theme, and without knowing what their other pick sounds like, I’d say they got an ok deal. I can’t say much for the lyrics because my Spanish reads like a Taco Bell menu, but the song itself is just fine. It has kind of a mix of a modern hip hop song with a lot of Latin flair thrown into the background. That said, it’s not nearly as catchy as Carlito’s current theme, and I don’t think it’s in any danger of storming up the charts either.
Rating: **

Deadly Game
Performed by Theory of a Deadman

Theory of a Deadman is a moderately popular MTV2 level rock band from Canada, which reminds me a lot of Nickleback, which isn’t surprising because they were discovered by Nickleback front man Chad Kroger. This is the first song on the CD that isn’t directly related to a wrestler, but is instead a cover of the “Survivor Series ‘98: Deadly Game” theme. Which is weird. I have kind of a personal love for this band because they did a lot of music for Indigo Prophecy, which is one of my favorite PC games in a long, long time. That, said, this song is just not very good, as bad as it was in ‘98 (or in 2002 when it was re-released in “Anthology”). Just putting a hard rock shine on it isn’t going to change that.
Rating: *1/2

I’m Comin’
Performed by Silkk the Shocker

Silkk the Shocker is, of course, forever in the hearts and minds of wrestling fans as a member of his brother Master P’s No Limit Soldiers. Also, he does Orlando Jordan’s theme, but you’re sure as hell not going to put Orlando Jordan’s theme song on a CD, so what do you do? Uh…just have him stick any old song on there. Silkk’s experience shines through on the track, as it’s decently performed and it sounds fine. But on the same token, it’s a really boring track that would be buried on any normal album, and really, since it has nothing to do with the CD itself it should either be really good or not included, and this one wasn’t really good.
Rating: **

Fury of the Storm (Rob Van Dam’s Theme)
Performed by Shadows Fall

Shadow’s Fall is a well traveled metal band, that’s kind of been on the fringe of popularity for years. The major problem with this track however, is that the guitar riffs don’t really match the intensity of the singing, at least partially because they were trying too hard to remind people of “One of a Kind” (which in turn was trying to remind people of “Walk”). As a result, it just doesn’t seem to mesh together really well. The guitars are looping “One of a Kind” while the singer is growling into the microphone, and it ends up as kind of a mess.
Rating: *1/2

Some Bodies Gonna Get It (Mark Henry’s Theme)
Performed by the Three 6 Mafia

Ah, Academy Award Winning Artists the Three 6 Mafia. Ok, so “Some Bodies Gonna Get It” isn’t “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.” The writing stylings of Jim Johnston and ensure the song isn’t going to be an all time rap classic (though credit where credit is due, they got away with only one censored “motherfucker”). That said, it’s still a pretty fun song, way better than Silkk’s offering earlier. Even if it is kind of boring in its own right, it feels a lot more at home on this CD.
Rating: ***

With Legs Like That (Maria’s Theme)
Performed by Zebrahead

What is it with WWE just now latching on to the “beach rock” trend? Eh. Zebrahead is a “punk-lite” band which is more popular overseas than it is here in the States. I get the feeling that WWE probably was interested in having this song for Stacy when she came back, but when she never did, they just slapped it on Maria, because Maria also has legs. As it is, the song is completely inoffensive in every way as a CD track, though it’s terrible entrance music.
Rating: **1/2

This Fire Burns
Performed by Killswitch Engage

Another piece of non-theme music from a well traveled metal band. Well, I should admit that this was actually Randy Orton’s theme song on one Smackdown a few months ago. If you’re a fan of schlocky horror movies, you’ve probably heard Killswitch Engage once or twice (they’re on the Freddy vs. Jason and Resident Evil: Apocalypse soundtracks). The song is kind of standard nu-metal stuff. There’s nothing to set it apart from anything else that other bands of this ilk are doing, but it’s not really overtly bad either.
Rating: **1/2

Booyaka 619
Performed by P.O.D.

P.O.D. is a fairly well known numetal band, separating itself from the other numetal groups on the CD by having a good amount of commercial success to go with their experience. The band hails from San Diego, which makes the Misterio/619 connection a nice little package, though they’ve been providing PPV themes for WWE for at least a couple years now. The track itself? Fine music, though I kind of preferred Rey’s old music, this works pretty well both as an album track and as Rey’s entrance theme.
Rating: ***1/2

King of Kings (Triple H’s Talking Theme)
Performed by Motorhead

I don’t suppose you need an introduction to Motorhead? I can’t remember the keystroke combo to get the umlaut over the “o” so you’ll have to forgive me. The “story” of the song is kind of laughable in the same sense as a lot of late 80s Prancy Fantasy Metal was, then again Johnston wrote it, so you can’t blame the band, really. At least the way Lemmy sings it at least makes it sound less like the plot for a book with Fabio on the cover and more like the plot for a Conan sequel. The music drives the track anyway, and what’s there is good. A little too similar to “The Game,” for me, but still good stuff.
Rating: ****

So there you have it. I actually really like what WWE and Johnston did with this collection, which is to say that they might not be the best songs ever written, but there’s a good selection of different types of music, and even the worst ones aspire at least to be mediocre and not outright bad. I could probably have done without the non-entrance tracks in favor of some of the PPV themes or maybe updated versions of some of the other guy’s theme songs. I mean, it’s nice that Silkk the Shocker is on here, but what’s the point of including that song other than filling out the track listing? I can understand including “This Fire Burns” if they were seriously considering changing Orton’s music before they suspended him, but why have a band come on and cover a PPV song from nearly 10 years ago? It all kind of screams “selling the product to non-wrestling fans.” Which is fine, but it makes the presentation of the product as a whole kind of strange.

Overall, I think you can do worse than this CD. It’s a good little effort with some good bands and songs mixed in with some more pedestrian stuff, and if you’re reading this, chances are you’ll probably be fans of one or two songs on the disc anyway, so for $10.00, you could probably do worse with your music choices this week.