by The Immolator
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

I could strap a sandwich on my back and starve you to death. — Rowdy Roddy Piper

Welcome back to The Ring. The Immolator here, healing nicely so far. In fact, I’m ready to handspring elbow from here to Hoboken. I’ll be taking my next lesson on Sunday. On Saturday, however, I get my first taste of ring action. Setting up the ring, that is. A true craftsman, I. Now, where’s that ball-peen hammer? (CLANG) D’oh!

Big ups to the man, the myth, the legend known as Brian Sommers for the support. He’s one of the ECCWers out of the House of Pain. Just about all the students start out like I did: hurtin’.

So, Vince McMahon and Ric Flair are wrestling on RAW for sole control of WWE. Flair has Vinnie in the Figure-P… and in comes Arn Anderson to laugh in McMahon’s face. Hmmmm… anyone not expecting Double-A to turn? Anyone? Bueller? Ah, but in comes Brock Lesnar… and AA bails. Huh?

Fortunately, I just saw Memento, so I’m now an expert in hindsight. I can make sense of this dog’s breakfast. Perhaps. We know (unless it’s a “new work”) that Austin was supposed to have a match against Brock Lesnar. That got the kibosh. So Lesnar needs another outlet for his push. Seems to me Arn was, indeed, meant to turn on Flair. Instead, the Lesnar scenario looks like it got the cut-and-paste treatment, and was inserted where Arn’s turn would have been. It was a bit of a rush job, but Arn can be turned next week, which would explain why he didn’t try to take Lesnar out before Flair got screwed. It could be Arn, Eddie and Benoit against Flair, for example.

No amount of hindsight can help Immo with this puzzle, though: what the hell does Nidia have to do with beef jerky?

I’m looking forward to the NWA-TNA debut. Partly because it might become a continuing venue for ECCW, an NWA affiliate. Perhaps, someday, yours truly will make an appearance. It won’t be as The Immolator, though. I though about it briefly, but I don’t want to rely on throwing fire for a gimmick. I have some other ideas brewing. “Cecil the Angry Farmer” is tempting, but I might have to keep that one under wraps for now. How about “Roy, the Angry Irish Soccer Player?”

Being on the shelf sucks. I only know four moves, but it still sucks. Next week, I’ll let y’all know how my return to action goes. “Desire” video is pending.

Peace.

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