by Lee Filas
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

[Editor's Note: Lee submitted this column on Monday, March 10, before going out of town on personal business.  Some of you will know why I feel it's important to note that. -- Rick]

It’s a fantasy bookers dream.

The main event of the largest pay-per-view comes down with a possible career-ending injury and has to step aside only three weeks before the bell rings.

Now, Kurt Angle can walk. Hell, he can run headlong into the side of a cage and survive. But, for some reason, some doctor somewhere is telling Angle to not do it. Do not take a bump, do not step into the ring, and above all else, do not take an F-5 from a guy named Brock Lesnar.

But, is that what really happened? Did a doctor somewhere say that he shouldn’t wrestle? Or, did the first opinion tell Angle to stay out of the ring, while the second, third, fourth and fifth opinions tell him it was all right.

Hmmm…damn good question. And unless you were in the room with Angle, the doctors, and Vinnie Mac, you have no idea either. Let’s face it, the fed can afford to buy an opinion from a doctor, prompting Angle to wrestle one last time and drop the belt before surgery. And, adding to that, Angle HAS wrestled with a broken neck in the past. Hell, he qualified for the Olympics with the same broken neck – as he has told us on numerous occasions. Benoit wrestled for a long time with the same injury, Lita had a match or two with the same condition, while Stone Cold wrestled with the same issue.

Sure, a broken neck is nothing to sneeze at, and a bad bump could end the man's career (life), but Angle’s done it in the past. Why wouldn’t he consider doing it on the world’s largest stage?

However, let’s assume that he isn’t going to wrestle the match. Let’s assume that Angle listens to the doctors, or the fed became extremely concerned by what James Andrews told them. Let’s assume they actually do have Angle drop the belt Thursday to Brock in a championship match, then give him the time off for surgery and to heal his “appendage,” what would you do if you were the writers of the WWE?

Decisions:

A whole butt load of suggestions have been tossed out by everyone regarding this scenario. The names have ranged from people on RAW and SmackDown, and included every top tier wrestler that is out there (and a few who are completely out in left field.) Let’s start from the most highly unlikely scenarios:

Anyone from Raw:

Scott Steiner, Chris Jericho and the Rock were the loudest selections from RAW that have been tossed out by the masses reviewing this, but honestly, would changing rosters now make a whole load of sense? Jericho is feuding with Michaels in a hot storyline; Rock is in the same with Austin . Steiner would make a lot of sense – especially considering that nothing is going on with him in RAW right now. However, putting Brock and Steiner in a ring together will not only drop the quality of wrestling at the largest PPV of the year, but it will definitely lower the intelligence of everyone watching at home. (By the way, did you see Scotty’s incredible cameo on Raw? He smiled at Terry while drinking a bottle of water, and all I could think was “duh.”)

So, to me, moving anyone from Raw to SmackDown to WrestleMania for the sole reason to get a viable fight for Lesnar would be a waste of time. They already have little time to set up a decent storyline with the new contender, and adding the whole “I switched because…” discussion into it would be a tough sell.

On SmackDown, you can all but rule the A-Train and Big Show out of the fight. They have a “hot feud” brewing with Undertaker and Nathan Jones, though they won’t see the inside of the ring at WrestleMania. I see Nathan Jones turning on the Underbiker pretty soon, and becoming a heel to Big Evil. That’ll give Underbiker a feud and send A-Train and Big Show to the World for the night. (Wait, the World is closed? Shit….don’t tell Show or Albert. Let them go and find the doors shuttered, wondering if they are in the right spot.)

John Cena and Lesnar is one of those fights that need to be saved until after WrestleMania. It’s a hot storyline to be brought back after Lesnar wins the title, but only if people actually believe that Cena can bring the thunder like he’s promised. Right now, no one believes that Cena can hurt Lesnar…and I don’t think anyone ever will.

I would love to see Rey-Rey get the nod, and have him go after the cruiserweight and the heavyweight title in the same night. That would absolutely crack me up. Also, have him almost get the pin on Brock only to get an F-5 in the end. Though, it’s unlikely, it would be fun to see.

But, in my opinion, the only real guy you can throw out there and face Lesnar would be Chris Benoit. He has totally earned the respect of fans and wrestlers for his work ethic. The fed absolutely stood up and took notice of him following the standing ovation from the crowd. Benoit would bring the best out of Brock, especially at the grand daddy dance of them all.

But how do you get Benoit from a twisted tag team event to the main event? Simple…it takes one simple over the top battle royal – ala RAW – to make it happen. After Lesnar beats Angle, you pull out a battle royal, with the winner getting the shot at the title at WrestleMania. It makes sense: after all, Brock won the shot because he won the Royal Rumble. Have the SD version of the Royal Rumble, have every wrestler on the roster get involved and have Benoit win it. The crowd will be ecstatic because two faces will fight in the main event - Austin and the Rock did it two years ago - then simply place the Guerrero’s into the tag title picture.

However, I really and truly question whether or not it’ll go that far. I simply believe that Kurt will do what it takes to make it to the main event at WrestleMania. He took a few shots last Thursday to show he could handle it, and he will back out of the title fight against Brock this week. They’ll save him for the big dance, and then give him the time off to have the operation to heal.

Of course, I’ve been wrong before, so don’t sue me if I’m wrong. But, something in Kurt makes him rise to the biggest occasion, and I think this will be no different.

And, all of us, will shudder when Kurt Angle gets F-5’ed and pinned.

E-MAIL LEE FILAS
BROWSE THE SQUARED CIRCLE JERK ARCHIVES

Lee Filas is a 32-year-old newspaper reporter and wrestling fan from the Chicago-land Area.

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