by Moses Gates  
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Hola folks.   As usual, the first order of business is to revisit last week's column.   After several letters and a bit of research, "Big Gold" (Ric Flair's WCW belt in the late 80s - early 90s) was never referred to as "33 pounds of gold."   However, the weight assigned to the aforementioned gold varies between 10 pounds and 40 pounds.   I'd think you could tell the difference between the two, but then again, pro-wrestling has never really concerned itself with being accurate or consistent when it comes to weight.   The "at least 500 pound Big Show" can attest to that.

Well, right when I was about to relegate myself to doing a column on the regulars (tights, entrance music, Chuck and Billy), along comes this whole "WWE" thing.   While I don't really have much of an opinion on the new initial - it's as good any of the other options in my book - the grammar does bug me a little bit.  I'd explain the whole thing, but Rick did it in his latest OO, so just head over there.

I also have to admit to not understanding why they didn't just add an extra line to the "F" in the "WWF" graphic instead of taking it out altogether.   I suppose it wouldn't really fit with the whole "get the F out" slogan - which I actually think is kind of clever.   Of course, I'm the kind of guy that finds endless humor in the Bart Simpson prank calls to Moe's bar also.

Now, on to the stuff I wanted to talk about in the first place.   First off, I'm really digging the way Tajiri's wearing the Cruiserweight belt.   The wrapped around the neck and hanging down thing not only looks neat, it totally goes with his current creepy, snake-like character.   Anyway, in honor of this new entry, I'm giving you my top 3 favorite entries in the ongoing "how many ways can you wear, carry, or pose with a title belt" contest.  

#1 - The Rock's original turnbuckle pose with the belt.   Not the current one he uses (which sucks), but the one where he s-l-o-w-l-y raised the belt above his head.   I marked out for that like nobody's business.

#2 - The Big Show wearing the Hardcore Title on his arm.   I dug this one mostly because it fit the Big Show's character so well.   "I'm so big I can wear this thing on my arm and it'll fit."   Or something like that.

#3 - Sorry to get all Puroresu on you guys, but I have to say Keiji Mutoh wearing his six belts.   Check it out here (www.mayfieldmayhem.com/1-2002-legendofchamp.jpg) and you'll know where I'm coming from.  

An honorable mention goes to a couple people.   First DDP, because his wearing the WCW belt backward is the first time I can remember someone wearing the belt in a unique way.   Second, to Booker T for his "hold the belt by his waist and then flip the belt over his head" pose he did for a very short period (right before being so unceremoniously pushed down the card).   I can't give it a full mention since I think I only saw it once.

Anyway, before we head on to the rundown I have to share a somewhat amusing story with you.   Upon seeing Hulk Hogan back in his new red & yellow outfit, my wife asked why he was wearing that "ketchup and mustard outfit."  Not a bad observation, especially considering that Hogan's skin comes pretty close to the color of a good Hot Dog.

Jericho's new 'do - Torn.   I dig the style, but the red dye really doesn't go with that one.   I wonder if it's permanent or something.

New entrances (Lesnar, D-Von, Stasiak, Orton, Henry) - Hate them.   None of these made any kind of impression on me, although I marked out like a 9-year-old at a Ninja convention at D'Lo's entrance.   "Danger at the Door" is definitely top 3 among my all- time favorite entrance themes.

RVD's new Pyro - Torn.   I think it's a cool little pyro, but as we all know, in the WWF you can have a push or a pyro, but not both.   I'd rather RVD got the push.

The new Judgment Day graphic - Love it.   I usually always dig the PPV graphics that have more than just the name of the pay-per-view arranged in various ways.

WWF(E) tribute to Wahoo McDaniel and Lou Thesz - Hated it.   Come on, that was 1/10th as long as the video for the Rock's comeback from a worked injury.   And I know the production team can whip this stuff up in 3 seconds, so why the wait until SmackDown?   Seems like a case of pure public relations to me.

In case you missed it:

• From the April 18th SmackDown! - Has Cole lost the highlights again?  Angle seems to have ditched the black in his outfits.   I told you anything that has to do with "dark Angle" never lasts long.
   

• From the April 22nd RAW - HHH had the special chain between his handcuffs for people whose lats are too humongous to put their arms all the way behind their backs. Austin was wearing a normal wedding ring, putting that whole shameful "is the smoking skull ring his wedding ring" fiasco completely to rest.  
   

• From the April 25th SmackDown! - Maven's got some new tights. Only Chuck (and not Billy or Rico) had the good sense to wear a matching thong with his outfit. A whole series of backstage vignettes devoted to a T-shirt!  The creative team must be reading this column. A "punch" sound effect was added to the recap of HHH's beatdown of the Undertaker (much like the "ping" that was added when they recapped Flair hitting the Undertaker with a pipe).   Hmm, for some reason they only seem to add these effects when it's the Undertaker getting beat up.
   

• From the April 29th RAW - I am really not getting the wife-beater and body paint look Jeff Hardy is going for.   I say go back to the baseball cap and pigtails. Are those two rectangular screens by the entranceway new?. The Undertaker was once again wearing on of those hoodies you can't get on ShopZone (which is still wwfshopzone as of Wednesday afternoon).   This one said "Support Nomads" on the front, arms, and hood. There was a production error during Buh-Buh's interview, when a black square appeared in the middle of the screen. Why was there a bag of oranges in the trash can during the Jazz/Buh-Buh Hardcore match?
   

• From the May 2nd SmackDown! - Rikishi got some sort of perm. I'm not sure who's going to win the Kurt Angle vs. Edge hair match, but Kurt sure seems to be losing the Kurt Angle vs. Nature hair match.
   

• From the May 5th Heat - I never knew Justin Credible was from Ozone Park (that's in south Queens for those who don't know).   I think that makes him the 3rd New York character in the WWF.   Tazz from Red Hook (remind me sometime to explain my theory on whether Tazz is actually from Red Hook) and Raven, who's from "the Bowery."  
   

• From the May 6th RAW - They had the "WW" symbol on the back of the Hardcore belt, but haven't gotten the "WWF" symbol off the IC belt yet.   They also haven't gotten it off of Ross's shirt (way to go JR). Does Spike have a new TitanTron video?   I also never noticed the "One tough little bastard" on the back of his "Pound 4 Pound" shirt. I'm not quite sure what I think of D'Lo's Purple motif yet.   Let me get back to you. Goldust was wearing a Latrell Sprewell alternate road jersey. There was a shot of a cameraman getting in position to film Undertaker's motorcycle.   This is only noteworthy because it made me realize that the WWF usually does an excellent job of not getting the cameramen on film. Burger Kind is now bringing you the slam of the week.  That's a pretty high-profile sponsor there.  Has the PTC fallen off? There's a new "Raw is brought to you by" effect. I never knew Bradshaw was from Sweetwater, Texas.
   

• From the May 9th SmackDown! - HHH looks really different with his forehead covered up... Al Snow has new tights... Tazz to Cole "you need to find a stylist."   Truer words have never been spoken...what's up with the "smackdown" at the bottom of the screen every once in a while?... Hardcore Holly's music now has "how do you like me now" at the start... Jericho's added a little Michael Jackson-esque move with his arms to his entrance pose.
  

That's it for now.   Come back in a few weeks when I hope (and I stress hope) to provide you with a definitive list of RVD's singlets.   Taste the Rainbow!

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