by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Funny how Stephanie McMahon, even while ostensibly "gone forever," was still a MAJOR looming presence throughout the show, isn't it?

The jury is hung in the case of Kane vs. Comedic Promos...  on one hand, it can't hurt to give the guy a personality, I guess.  But on the other, any attempt to portray him as a scary monster will get harder and harder the more he hops around like a monkey doing a Hogan impersonation...

Good to see Raven and Tommy Dreamer getting into the hardcore act, especially in front of the partisan Philly crowd.  It boggles my mind that Raven hasn't gotten a chance to be a much more important player in the WWF, but perhaps now with two smaller ponds, he can become the proverbial bigger fish.

Thing that made me go "Hmmmm...":  Godfather and Funaki were both present during the APA poker game, but neither was drafted.  Were they there saying goodbye because they are now out of jobs?  Or are they super-hot free agents now?  Boy, I sure hope Vince or Flair has plenty of room under the salary cap to get their hands on these guys!  [Didn't I see Hugh Morrus and Steven Richards in the draft room scenes of RAW, too?  And they didn't get picked up...  and how about Chavo Guerrero, who is on Tough Enough every week, but apparently not worthy of a roster spot?]

Keep an eye out for the Immolator's SD! recap on Friday afternoon for further details from the show...

-  The overnight rating for SmackDown! was a 5.1, which is down from last week's 5.5 rating.  The final number for this week will probably have to wait until I update again on Monday (due to the holiday weekend)...

-  Although everything's a "go" for Steve Austin's return to TV this coming Monday on RAW, he did not appear (as he was advertised to) at house shows this week in Florida.  The shows were instead headlined by Kurt Angle vs. Kane.

Fans weren't happy with the no-show, and Austin's absence even got some (bad) press in Gainesville...

BTW, the fact that Austin's already been promised for Monday's RAW lends some credence, I think to the item I had Monday about the problems having been patched up in time for Austin to have appeared on this week's TV (but was kept off in favor of building up his big Free Agent return)...  if you're among those who think the entire thing was a great big "work the smarts" campaign, then that, in turn, may lend credence to your own theories.

-  The half of the split crew shows was up in the northeast, and concluded their swing at the Meadowlands last night...  a highlight of the show had the APA and Dudleys exchanging shows of respect following their match.  It was the last time either team will work together (at least, for a while).

The Meadowlands show was also headlined by a rare Hulk Hogan house show appearance (he teamed with HHH to beat the Outsiders).  Since Hogan's deal with the WWF called for him to basically only work TV dates, and since Hogan's now only required to work one of the two TV tapings per week, you may actually see him called on to work more house shows in the future.

-  An abso-frickin'-lutely hilarious story broke yesterday that has a minor, tangential tie-in to wrestling...

While still with the Florida Marlins, closer Antonio Alfonseca was supposed to weigh-in regularly.  When asked by the Marlins' strength coach, Alfonseca tried to beg off, but wound up getting into a shouting match with the coach.  When the coach wouldn't back down and started threatening Alfonseca with bodily harm, Alfonseca went and locked himself in an office until the coach could be calmed down.

The wrestling tie-in:  the coach was none-other-than the former KISS Demon himself, Dale Torborg.

Reports now are that the incident was NOT the motivating factor for Alfonseca's trade to the Chicago Cubs (which some had originally suspected), but it's still a funny story.  Me personally, as a guy who resorted to picking up Alfonseca late in one of my fantasy drafts, I'm just happy he got traded to a place where he stands to get 10-12 more saves!

-  Another story from the fringe of pro wrestling....

At a recent indie show in Maryland, Steve Wilkos -- who is the head security guy for Jerry Springer's TV show -- made his pro wrestling debut.  He teamed with Gillberg to beat two local workers in the main event of a show that drew a standing-room crowd of over 1500 to a reception hall.

-  The WWF has announced that Chris Jericho's band Fozzy will play an all-ages show next Friday night at WWF New York (well, actually at "The World," which is WWFNY's name for its night club)...  in addition to doing covers of metal classics, Fozzy's got some originals in the pipeline (as their planned summer album release looks to be about half-and-half).

-  OK, so I'm thumbing through the "Divas 2002" magazine when I was doing my grocery shopping on Wednesday... and I don't want to alarm anyone, but it looks like both Lita and Trish have successfully had surgery to remove their nipples!

Oh wait, either that, or a Rated-PG-minded airbrush artist got his hands on them naughty pictures before publication...  feel free to conduct your own research next time you're at your local neighborhood Kroger!

-  When I start relaying stories about seeing a Divas mag while out shopping, you know it's a slow news day, and you know I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel...  so I'll just close with a general wish of good cheer to anyone who'll be getting together with family this weekend for Easter.  As always, I look at this as my annual chance to worship the succulent Easter Ham.  And then to go straight to hell, probably...  but mmmmmm-mmm, that ham!  Sacrilicious!

See you Monday for some RAW preview and other news...  

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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