by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

And we'll stick to our usual format, too, by burning a full paragraph here to warn anybody who stumbled onto this page (despite it being clearly labeled as "Spoilers") and who does want to ruin the surprises for any of the three remaining WWF TV shows this week...  this is your chance to turn back.  Now.

But for the rest of you, I give you the following future TV results, compiled from e-mail reports...

Sunday Night Heat Matches
(Taped Monday in College Station, TX)

• D-Lo Brown beat Justin Credible
• Tommy Dreamer beat Big Bossman
• Mr. Perfect beat Steven Richards
• NOTE:  These matches will only air on the international versions of Heat...  MTV's Heat, immediately preceding the Backlash PPV in the US, will be live from Kansas City.

Jakked/Metal Matches
(Taped Tuesday in Houston, TX)

• Godfather beat the Big Valbowski
• Christian beat Sho Funaki
• Lance Storm and Hugh Morrus went to a double count-out.

SmackDown! Tapings
(Also Tuesday in Houston, TX)

• The trio of Maven, Al Snow, and Rikishi beat Billy, Chuck, and Albert.  A trainwreck spot near the end saw everybody hitting big moves and finishes only to be saved...  finally, with bodies strewn everywhere and others brawling on the outside, Maven hit a top rope move to score the pinfall win for his team.
• Backstage:  Stacy Keibler summons Hulk Hogan to Vince McMahon's dressing room, where Vince eventually suggests to Hogan that the reality of this situation is that Hogan cannot recreate the past, and cannot win the WWF Title and take the WWF into a new golden era.
• Backstage:  Hurricane tries to pump up Billy Kidman, who is down because something seems missing from his title defense against Tajiri this Sunday.  The two also have a tag match later tonight against Tajiri and Chavo Guerrero.
• Tajiri and Chavo beat Hurricane and Kidman...  good action, but Hurricane was eventually pinned by Tajiri after a stiff kick to the head.  After the match, Tajiri continued by laying out Kidman, and again verbally assaulting Torrie.
• This week's Mark Henry Test of Strength saw lift a car half off the ground, with Faarooq again acting as Mark's carny shill, and Test again playing the role of the mark.  When Henry actually does lift the car, Test attacks Faarooq for costing him his bet.  Whatever.
• Hulk Hogan hit the ring for a mid-show promo.  He says that the reality of his situation is that 68,000 people cheered for him at WrestleMania, and that those same Hulkamaniacs are behind him now and believe he can win the WWF Title on Sunday.  He's hitting his rhetorical stride when Chris Jericho interrupts and announces that Hogan is a has-been, and that Jericho hopes HHH wins on Sunday (because at least HHH beat him, Jericho for the title, while Hogan has lost his one big match back in the WWF and still somehow got a title shot).  It eventually escalates into a brawl, as Jericho and Hogan tangle, with first Kurt Angle, and later Edge joining in, too.
• Backstage:  Vince is furious with Edge for interrupting the two-on-one beatdown on Hogan, and ejects Edge for the rest of the night.
• Faarooq got a quick pinfall victory over Test (using either a handful of tights or his feet on the ropes, depending on which report you believe)...  but after the match, Test got his revenge by KO'ing Faarooq with the big boot.  
• Backstage:  Stacy is sent to summon HHH to Vince's offices...  when she enters HHH's locker room unbeckoned and becomes distracted by the handsome stud that is HHH, Hunter tells her just because he's damned good looking and single doesn't give her the right to storm into his dressing room whenever she wants.  He tells Stacy that he'll show up in Vince's office if and when he pleases.
• Bob Holly countered the Diamond Cutter and hit a quick dropkick to get a win over Diamond Dallas Page.  After the match, DDP hit the Diamond Cutter to -- ahem -- keep his heat.
• Backstage:  HHH shows up at Vince's office, and Vince basically delivers a pep talk, asking if HHH is ready to drive a stake through the heart of Hulkamania.  Also of note:  Vince reveals that if Hogan does win the title on Sunday, HHH will become the exclusive property of WWF-SD's roster.
• The new-look D-Von Dudley did an extended in-ring promo explaining his new direction.  D-Von reveals that "the Man Above" is Vince McMahon, the Great Prophet.  Vince has created and then saved the WWF from evil-doers, and now D-Von has seen the light.  He says he feels that Vince, and himself (as Vince's spiritual advisor) can do the same for all the lowly fans.  D-Von closes his homily by actually passing a collection basket (and people actually put money in!).
• The main event tag match between Triple H/Hulk Hogan and Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle went to a no decision.  Pretty good action, carried mostly by HHH for his team, leading up to the finish, which saw Hogan accidentally hit HHH with a chairshot (it was aimed at Angle, who was in the act of double teaming HHH).  Things got hairy at this point, as Edge also came out and started brawling with Angle, while HHH recovered.  In the meantime, Hogan and Jericho went one-on-one, with Hogan getting the better of the deal.  Hogan had Jericho beat when HHH got his senses back and intentionally whacked Hogan with a chairshot.  HHH briefly posed over Hogan's prone body, then grabbed his title belt and walked to the back to end the show.  When Hogan came around, he gave the live crowd a quick posedown (not filmed for TV) to send 'em home happy.

Be sure to check out future WWF telecasts to see these shows in the fancily-packaged as-aired versions.  Or come on back and check out OO after each is broadcast for recaps and analysis!

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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