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ONLINE ONSLAUGHT
The Jig's Up for Sleazy-E... plus Other
Monday NewsBites!
February 10, 2003

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Well, that's what I get: I keep my mouth shut for 6 weeks, and the Dayton Flyers rattle off 9 straight wins to move to the brink of national prominence.  Then I open it and spin some nutso fantasy involving Dayton Alum Dan Patrick wielding a steel chair in a symbolic smackdown of Xavier, and look what happens.  It's all my fault.

Oh, wait... maybe it's got something to do with that guy who tossed in 47 points against us, too.  Maybe even -- to a lesser extent -- with his be-striped, whistle blowing associates, too.  By the way, I made another rare national television appearance on Fox SportsNet during the game: just under 7:00 to play, when West scored a basket to put himself over the 40-point mark, the camera pans the crowd, and picks up a red-clad figure in the sea of blue turning to his friends, holding up four fingers on one hand and one on the other, while clearly mouthing the words "Forty-one points" in an exasperated fashion.  Oh, the pain.

I guess I'll just clamp up, anticipate a Flyer meltdown as we head down the stretch, and try not to do or say anything publicly to jinx the team again...  which luckily for you means that I can get directly to the wrestling news.  Finally.

Here goes:

  • It doesn't quite have the same sizzle as the Jericho-inspired Millennium Countdown from 1999...  but Eric Bischoff's on the clock tonight.  If he cannot demonstrate to Vince McMahon that he has turned RAW around, he will be dismissed from duties as the brand's general manager, and Shane McMahon will be inserted in his spot.
     
    Of course, Bischoff has been pursuing Steve Austin as his major free agent signing over the course of the last month since finding out his job was in jeopardy.  But since Vince never really laid out any criteria for what would constitute job-saving work by Bischoff, you can't necessarily assume the signing of Austin would be enough to save Bischoff.  And that's if Austin actually showed up on TV tonight (when initially he was invited to come back at the No Way Out PPV).
     
    My expectation is that McMahon will appear tonight to relieve Bischoff.  He will insert his son, Shane, into the General Manager spot.  When it emerges that Steve Austin has confirmed that he'll be at No Way Out in a couple Sundays to either accept or decline Bischoff's original offer, Vince will pull Shane aside and explicitly order him to NOT sign Austin.  Shane will appear to agree, though of course, I'd have him disobey his dad and sign Austin, anyway.  At that point, Vince can get upset about getting rid of Bischoff, and the two can become allies who try to screw with RAW (and even SD!) to their own benefit.  You could stretch it out over a matter or weeks or months, but eventually, you could even re-install Bischoff as GM.  It's the storyline I envisaged a month ago, and it's the one that still appeals most to me; it also works logically, since having Austin and Vince at odds like this would open the door for an Austin vs. Rock match at WM19 (which is rumored to be the top non-Goldberg option for the Rock at this time).
     
    And while that storyline will play a key role at the PPV, the Fed's also got to do something about setting up some MATCHES for said show.  On top, we know we'll have Triple H defending the World Title against Scott Steiner; we also know it's only "on top" from a RAW brand perspective, since SD!'s pretty much guaranteed to bring two matches with way more cache than that one.  A rematch from the Royal Rumble, HHH's defense against Steiner is a sensible progression.  The story of their first match was that Steiner dominated, and HHH did everything he could to escape with his title (culminating in getting intentionally DQ'ed).  If only Steiner's offense had been remotely believable or watchable, that story would be more than enough justification for this rematch.  Instead, the original contest was plodding and sloppy, with fans turning on Steiner in mid-match.  No doubt, both men will be motivated to improve, but we also know that HHH will likely be going into the match at less than 100% with his deep thigh bruise/hematoma.  Knowing that doesn't do a whole lot to pique my interest or raise my expectations.  HHH's injury might also limit the amount of storytelling they're able to do tonight on RAW to heat up the feud building up to the PPV.
     
    One match that I fully expect to either take place tonight or be set up for the PPV is Booker T vs. Batista.  T's gonna be looking for revenge on the guys who electrocuted Goldust last week, sending him to the hospital, and since Randy Orton's still a few weeks away from having actual matches, only Batista will be able to face Booker's wrath inside the squared circle.  In the five-six weeks leading up to WrestleMania, I fully expect that Booker will work his way up the ladder of HHH's "Evolution" faction (probably including some tag matches with Goldust once he returns, too), culminating -- if all goes well -- with a title shot against HHH.  I'm sure the Fed will keep its options open in case Booker's babyface momentum falters, but this has got to be one likely avenue for storylines in the next month or so.
     
    Another storyline that seems to have momentum building more towards WM19 than towards No Way Out is Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho.  Last week on RAW, Michaels got into an isolated incident with Jeff Hardy, while Jericho was more intent on dealing with both Test and Scott Steiner.  I don't expect either Hardy or Steiner to really figure into things again this week, but I also hope that the Fed doesn't just do the expected: feed us a Jericho/Test match for the PPV, with Michaels on the sidelines.  I'd much rather see Michaels team up with Test to take on Jericho and Christian (who helped Jericho last week in his attack on Test) at the PPV;  you're protecting Michaels and his back in the tag match setting, and thanks to the sizzle that HBK and Y2J bring to the match, you get over-achiever minutes out of Test and Christian, both of whom would normally be placed lower on the card.
     
    The tag title situation is similarly murky, with the same basic set of players likely to reprise past iterations of tag title feuds in time for the PPV.  While Goldust and Booker T are out of the picture (for now, at least), Rob Van Dam and Kane seem to have solidified a bit after last week as the babyface odd couple tag team du jour.  The Dudleys certainly have more storyline reason to chase William Regal and Lance Storm's tag straps, but Kane and RVD would be fresher as challengers.
     
    The final on-going issue on RAW that will probably build to a PPV match is the simmering women's division, where Victoria holds the title, where Trish wants the gold back, and where Jazz has returned and seems to be marginally more interested on getting revenge on Trish than she is on getting the gold from Victoria.  But that dynamic could change rapidly, and any combination of two of these three women could realistically face off on PPV.  Obviously, then, a three-way match would remain a plausible scenario, too.
     
    Check out RAW tonight to see how it all goes down, or come on back to OO on Tuesday for the full run-down and analysis from the show...
     
  • The final rating for last Thursday's SmackDown! came in at a 3.3.  Now, despite a slightly depressed overnight number, the final rating actually wound up being up one-tenth of a point from the previous week.
     
    The slight gain came despite the fact that perennial Thursday night whipping boy, ABC, scored huge ratings with a Michael Jackson special, while usual Thursday champs NBC and CBS both retained much of their regular viewership.  UPN managed a tie for fourth place, with FOX.
     
  • Last night, a World Wrestling All-Stars PPV began airing here in the states...  the event was actually taped over two months ago, during a November tour of Europe, and it had slipped my mind that the PPV was finally being screened now.  
     
    From the sounds of some e-mails and a recap posted to the OO Forums, it seems like my unintentional amnesia may actually turn out to have been a good thing.  Nobody had much positive to say about the show.
     
    To wit:  Nathan Jones, who was still a few weeks away from signing his WWE contract when the show was taped, challenged Jeff Jarrett for the NWA Title on the PPV.  His performance was said to give no reason for fans to hope for anything out of Jones besides an intimidating 6'10" frame and a pretty kick-ass back story.  In the end, he still jobbed to Jarrett following a covert El-Kabong shot.  Man, first they expose the fallacy of the lactating nipples rumor, and now, it emerges that Jones has spent the recent past jobbing on glorified indie shows and doing hard time in jail!  How do they expect this guy to keep his heat?
     
    Also filed under Not Very Impressive was Lex Luger, who somehow got labeled as being really fat, but still really cut, too.  Whhaaaa?  The added bulk, in any case, hampered Sting's efforts to coax a good match out of Luger.  Even though Sting was clearly the star of the show, the vacant WWA Title went to Luger in the end, since apparently he was willing to commit to additional WWA tours, while Sting wasn't.  That's always a good heuristic to use when crowning a champion!
     
    The rest of the show featured WWA's usual blend of midgets, indie guys, and remnants from the dying days of WCW (Konnan, Buff, Mike Sanders, et al).  Look for replays of the show on your digital cable or satellite system at your own risk.
     
  • A lot of people are talking about a possible reformation of the APA, as Ron "Faarooq" Simmons might return from semi-retirement at the same time Bradshaw gets back from injury in a few months time.  Last October, Simmons got hurt, and decided to quietly fade into retirement rather than work his way back to resume his red hot tag team with Reverend D-Von Dudley.  A return to the APA, of course, has a few more things to recommend it.  Not the least of which is that it would put the kibosh on the overly-forced Bradshaw singles push.
     
    I don't know how good the chances are of this happening, other than to say the door has been opened for Faarooq to come on back, and the ball is in his court.  Oh, and also:  if it happens, it'll happen on RAW.
     
  • As we talked about on Friday, Triple H did not work RAW house show main events as he was advertised to, due to his thigh injury... but also as we talked about, he did appear on all the shows, cutting promos to get some heat, explain his injury, and set up his replacement.  In this case, that meant calling up Batista from his scheduled spots lower on the cards to work main events against Scott Steiner and Booker T.
     
    HHH was on crutches again for shows this weekend, but at this point, it's entirely possible that he's just using the crutches for storyline purposes.  I mean, if the guy's recovery is actually on track to have him wrestle a PPV caliber match in a couple Sundays, you'd hope he's not reliant on crutches at this point...
     
  • Quick personal indulgence to close out today:  my old band, The National Drink, is pretty much dead, and my new band has been promoted from "side project" status in the last month and a half or so.  Unlike past "new bands" I have mentioned here, this is not just getting one or two new members, changing our name, and still playing three-quarters old material.  We're 100% all new, baby, and we are known as Flight Risk.
     
    To celebrate our graduation from just killing time on the side to being a real band, Flight Risk are embarking on a national tour.  Which, of course, is a euphemism for "we're playing a bunch of times throughout southwest Ohio in the next couple weeks."
     
    We start this Friday, Feb. 14, in Cincinnati; we're at Sudsy Malone's on Vine St. with The Lab Partners (snide comments about me going out of town with a couple of dudes for Valentine's Day will be summarily ignored)... then, Tuesday, Feb. 18, in Dayton; we'll be the last act on at Canal Street (it's a free, laid back Musician's Co-op thing)...  Thursday, Feb. 20, we're back in Cincinnati; that one's at The Comet with The Bang Tale (of all the shows we got lined up, I think this one will kick the most ass; and it's free, too!)...  we're home again in Dayton, on Saturday, Feb. 22; that one's at Elbo's, probably with the Bygones (but that's not 100% confirmed yet)...  then, after the grueling four shows in eight nights, we get to rest for a bit before putting the capper on things back at Canal Street for a real show (i.e. you have to pay, and musicians have to plug their instruments in!) on Thursday, March 13, with The Unsung and maybe Oxymoronatron (who would be the perfect house band for Kaiju, if only the Kaiju people would send me free stuff and give me a reason for making the love connection!).  We've also got a show in Oxford pending for late March, and designs on getting into Athens and Columbus very soon.
     
    Wow.  I put all that down in one spot, and it almost looks like we might be a real band!  We've also got a decent three-song demo done in the last month, but I'm not gonna put any of that out there just now.  I think our material is getting better as we go, as the drummer and I sort of try to subtly nudge us into a more straight-up rock direction, so I'll wait till we get really good stuff down before I subject you to MP3 downloads.
     
    So: Flight Risk invites you to check us out if you're one of OO's many readers in the Tri-State Region.  I even hear the ruggedly handsome bass player doesn't mind chatting about wrestling with fellow fans...  unless he's talking to girls, in which case, keep your distance, and at no time reveal publicly that you suspect him of being a wrestling fan.  He's trying desperately to act ultra-cool!
     
  • As always, I'll close by asking that anyone attending WWE TV tapings tonight or tomorrow send along reports so that we can do a timely and accurate Spoiler Report on Wednesday.  Thanks in advance... 
      

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.


  
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