by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Here goes:

WWE Sunday Night Heat
(Taped Monday, Airs Sunday)

• Victoria beat Jacqueline
• Steven Richards beat Aaron Aguilera
• Spike Dudley beat Chris Nowinski
• Lance Storm and William Regal retained the tag titles with a win over Al Snow and Maven

WWE Velocity
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Saturday)

• Nathan Jones beat a jobber in what most people thought was a dark match, but which one reader said was taped for Velocity
• Shannone Moore beat a jobber
• Bill DeMott beat Funaki
• Billy Kidman beat Jamie Noble to retain the Cruiserweight Title 

WWE SmackDown!
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Thursday)

• SD! opened with Charlie Haas pinning Edge.  Good match that ended with Paul Heyman distracting Edge on the ring apron, allowing Haas to sneak up from behind for a roll-up and the win.
• Backstage: Kurt Angle tries to hit on Stephanie, what with it being Valentine's Day and all... but she has something different in mind, and announces that at the PPV, it will be Team Angle vs. Lesnar, Benoit, and Edge.
• Rikishi and Nunzio went to a no contest, as Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli ran out and attacked Rikishi before the match even started.  Looks like Paul Heyman's managed to reconstitute the Full Blooded Italians....  
• Rey Mysterio beat Matt Hardy in another good match.  After the match, Hardy complained about how he's just a little worn down from trying to cut weight in time to face Billy Kidman at for the Cruiserweight Title at No Way Out.
• Backstage: A-Train bumps into Brian Kendrick and start roughing him up, when Sean O'Haire walks into the scene and gets A-Train to lay off.
• Chris Benoit cleanly defeated A-Train, making him tap out to the Crippler Crossface.
• Backstage: Torrie Wilson accepts an invitation to be a part of the March "Girls Gone Wild" Spring Break PPV.
• A large box (again gift wrapped to the Undertaker from Big Show), is hoisted into the ring, and Taker once again comes down to "accept" the gift.  This time, it's Kanyon, decked out like Boy George, slaughtering the words to "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?"...  and then tossing the mic down to attack Taker.  But that doesn't last, as Taker regains the advantage, whacks Kanyon with a chair, and leaves him lying.
• Shelton Benjamin made it 2-for-2 for the tag champs with a pinfall win over Eddie Guerrero in yet another good match.
• A big Rock/Hogan video montage was shown on the FistTron.
• Hugh Hefner appears in a taped segment, announcing that a WWE Diva will be appearing in an upcoming issue of Playboy... which is a good segue into the next match...
• Torrie Wilson beat Dawn Marie in a Bra and Panties Match.  Nidia tried to attack Torrie after the match, but she got stripped down for her troubles, too.
• Backstage: a Funaki/John Cena interview was hyped as one reader as the funniest segment of the entire taping.
• Brock Lesnar essentially demolished John Cena, but had to rally to do it, as Cena had attacked before the bell with his padlock/chain.  Once Lesnar got the advantage, it was all over, though.  After the match, Lesnar managed to get Kurt Angle to come out to the ring, but Angle would not accept an impromptu match on the grounds of a "sinus infection."  But Angle does accept the match for next week.  A brawl still started up this week, however, with Lesnar going after Angle until Benjamin and Haas show up to run just enough interference for Angle to escape.

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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