by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Otherwise, read on, and enjoy getting the results of tomorrow's wrestling shows, today!

WWE Heat
(Taped Monday, Airs Internationally ONLY)

• Steven Richards beat Maven
• Tommy Dreamer beat a jobber
• The Dudleys beat two jobbers
• On Sunday, the WWE will produce a live, in-arena edition of Heat prior to the PPV, so these matches will only air overseas

And for SmackDown! and Velocity spoilers, I put you in the hands of Indiana's own Robert Schutte, who has been OO's Man in Indianapolis for years.  Here is his report from last night's TV tapings:

WWE Velocity/SmackDown!
(Taped Last Night in Indianapolis)

Having been burnt last time by re-shot vignettes.  I’ve tried to give more of the gist of each match and scene than literal translation.  Hope you enjoy.

DARK MATCHES:

Doug Vachon and ??? (with Jackie Gayda) vs.

Chad Collyer and “Spanky” (Introduced as Brian Kendrick)

    Vachon’s partner may have had a last name of Holly, but it was not very clear.  Jackie Gayda is looking VERY Sunny-esque.  She has the bob and wave with her arms down.  Her hair is similarly styled to what I remember of the Bodydonnas’ debut.  In short, she’s hot and a great way to attract attention to her men.  Spanky has on some very short cut brief tights.  They’re made worse by the hot pink “V’ shape design on them.  The end result is that they highlight more of Spanky than most men are comfortable with and provide too much of a flashback to Nike experience.  Spanky gets in some nice aerial/classic high-flyer moves.  His offense is fast and fun to watch.  Unfortunately, he spends most of the match playing “face in peril” (a recurring theme for tonight’s show.)  During the match the crane used to move the presents from Big Show, as seen in previous weeks, is moving the presents and is quite distracting.  Spanky will hit the hot tag to Collyer, but to no avail.

Winner:  Vachon and ???? 

Rob Conway (with video package) and Nick Dinsmore vs. Lance Cade and Renet (sp?) Dupre

            Rob Conway* has an entrance video featuring his name “ROB” throughout it.  He and Dinsmore are wearing matching black tights with hot pink in front and their names on the back.  Cade and Dupre have nothing.  Dinsmore’s added a beard since last I saw him.  Two words, hated it. It makes him look old.  Dupre reminds me instantly of Rick “the Model” Martel.  His opening offense leads to a Martel “ain’t I great” pose and heel heat from the crowd.  My best note on Cade is that he was in and out quicker than johns on dollar day.  I’ve heard of quick tags, but this guy did nothing show off his skills at all.  He was in for less than a minute each time and basically did a few rest-style holds while in.  Conway does the face in peril for the second of several times we’d see this device this evening before making the tag to Dinsmore.  Dinsmore gets some offense in before Conway is back in to hit a neckbreaker and pin.

Winner: Rob Conway and Nick Dinsmore

Velocity Announcers are out and they are the guy from TE1 and Earnest “the Cat” Miller.  The Cat brought his dancing shoes and we see the reds float and shuffle on the way down to ringside.

VELOCITY 

Kidman vs. Shannon Moore

            After a Kidman starts with quick offense, an elbow turns the tide to Moore.  Moore will get extended offense on Kidman and control most of the match.  Kidman has a couple smaller “hope spots” that seem readily countered by Moore when he suddenly pulls a reversal and hits the Shooting Star Press for the win.  Moore will leave giving Matt version1.0’s three finger sign.

Winner: Kidman

Johnny Jeter and Nova vs. Nunzio and Chuck Palumbo (with Johnny Stamboli)

            Nunzio, et al., are not being referred to at entrance as the FBI nor “The Family.”  Instead, they are just introduced by name.  WOW!  I had heard Nova had changed his look, but I NEVER would have recognized him.  Short-cropped hair, facial stubble, completely different tights- unbelievable.  Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see innovator I remember from ECW.  Instead, Nova played yet another round of FNP (face in peril.)  The big idea here is that Chuck clearly gets to be “the BIG man.”  He dwarfs the others and gets to use a set of power moves that make him look good.  The little to no offense from Nova brings the start of the night’s first “boring” chant attempt, but fails to catch on.  Once Jeter gets in, his move-set isn’t as tight as you’d like to see and so his contact is visibly minimal and as a result WAY oversold.  Good thing the big man, Chuck, breaks the momentum with a big slam and pin.  Nunzio adds insult to injury by dropping an elbow post win.

Winners: Chuck and Nunzio

Funaki vs. Bill DeMott

            Funaki tried to jump-start this one by taking it to the outside right away.  DeMott however, absorbs the attack and quashes Funaki immediately.  He then throws him into the ring to begin punishing him.  DeMott appears to be done and starts to walk away through the ropes- not even bothering to go for a pin.  Funaki, however, calls him back in and gives him a ghetto blaster to the side of the head.  Funaki will get some brief time on offense, but Bill is just too much of a powerhouse for him.  Cameras will focus on a vicious smile on DeMott before he puts Funaki in a crucifix-backdrop.  Bill will go up top for an elbow, but Funaki rolls out and goes up top himself.  He hits a flying cross-body block for 2.  Back on their feet, Bill hits a clothesline from hell and again starts to walk away.  He stops and starts trash talking ( I couldn’t tell if this was to the camera or to someone at ringside.)  He then hits a powerbomb pin for the three count.

Winner: Bill DeMott

Team Angle (Haas and Benjamin) vs. Los Guerreros

            Los Guerreros seize early control of the match by hitting quick tags and using the ropes as part of their offense.  The pace is quick and exciting.  However, it doesn’t last near long enough.  Haas uses an elbow to break the momentum and then Team Angle takes control of the match.  Team Angle slows the pace of the match, but in so doing really seem to kill the heat it had.  A “Let’s go Chavo” chant is the first to be moderately successful in the night.  Los Guerreros counter and set up for the top rope finisher, but Team Angle successfully avoids it (one pulls the other out of the ring.)  Team Angle backs out of the arena area to give Los Guerreros the victory via count out.

Winners: Los Guerreros

SMACKDOWN:

Preshow set up has the aforementioned crane back in action revealing two “gifts” this week.  Creed’s My Sacrifice video package with Stone Cold Steve Austin footage edit.  Austin draws surprisingly loud and positive reaction throughout the night.  Apparently the average fan has forgiven the man for “packing up his ball and going home.”

Show opens with the ROCK!  No pyro, nothing but music.  Rock enters slowly taking his time to get to the ring.  Crowd response is HUGE!  Rock appears to be milking the return cheers ala Hogan a few weeks ago.  “Finally…”  He stops to allow the crowd to continue shouting.  “Finally…”  He again stops to bask (seeming a bit annoyed too.)  After a bit longer, “The Rock said Finally, the Rock has come back to Indian- ahhhhhhhhhh Who gives a crap!”  Crowd starts to turn, but either really loves this guy or was prepared for the insult as the reaction is mixed to Rock’s apparent slight of our fair city.  Rock backpedals from the statement.  Its not who gives a crap about Indy, its who gives a crap about what the Rock has to say.  He can tell we’re just not feeling it.  Not feeling like hearing him talk.  He says that he’s started to hear what sounds like boos.  The crowd at this point takes the hint and begins to boo him.  He wants to know why we’d do that.  He’s back here for us, the people.  He’s dedicated to us, to the WWE, and to… His cell phone “rings” and he answers it.  He asks the crowd to quiet down while he talks to his personal assistant.  He tells his P.A. that he’s not staying overnight here with all these “hicks.”  Hanging up, he backpedals again, saying he meant all the Hickory trees in Indiana.  (Can you smell what the Rock is shoveling?)  He gets his boos and wants to know if we understand what booing him means.  He asks if we boo him because he sold out.  Crowd yells.  He says that he worked hard and made lots of money and that not selling out.  He asks if its because he has a big head.  Crowd yells.  He says Larry bird has a big head, but nobody boos him.  He demands that the people choose right then and there if we’re going to boo or cheer him.  The crowd elects to boo (still a good mix though.)  He tells Indy that we’ve made out decision, that we understand the consequences and starts a rhyme that ends with him making Hogan his “little bitch.”  He then tells us that Hogan’s not here yet (“late as usual”) and that he’ll call Hogan out later tonight.  He starts his “If you smell…” deal, but stops when the crowd finishes it for him.  He tells us that we can’t boo him and then three minutes later play sing-along.  That’s over, we made our choice.  He tells the crowd to have some self-respect, and finishes it.

Benoit vs. A Train

            Not much here really.  Match is over in what can’t be more than two minutes.  Benoit hits the crossface twice to see Albert power his way up and out.  However, Benoit uses momentum off a whip to the ropes to roll A Train into a small package and gets the quick win.  Confusing as it was short and seemed to kill the effort to build A Train as a true threat.  (Not that I’m complaining about ending an Albert push.)

Winner: Benoit

Backstage Funaki attempts to get into the Rock’s private locker room, but two guards prevent him.  His press pass and bribe do him no good.

Rikishi vs. Stamboli (with Chuck and Nunzio)

            Rikishi enters first and slips out of the ring to start things up with Stamboli outside the  ring while the ref tries to send Nunzio and Chuck to the back.  Rikishi will get initial offense, but its Stamboli who gets the crowds’ attention when he overhead presses Rikishi.  The move will gain him applause.  Stamboli will blow a corner spot shortly thereafter and the resulting Rikishi offense leads to the win for Rikishi.  No dancing and no stinkface this time.  Nunzio and Chuck charge the ring as soon as the three count begins.  However, Rikishi has a little something for all of them.  He catches Nunzio off the top rope and chokes him.  He starts to set him up, but Chuck hits a Jungle kick and the three on one begins.  Nunzio takes off his leather jacket and hoods Rikishi with it before beating him about the head.  The “family” leaves Rikishi lying.

Winner: Rikishi

Backstage vignette of Team Angle warming and psyching up.

A Los Guerreros “TV” shows airs on the Fist Tron.  The segment has Eddie and Chavo strolling through 50’s suburbia and meeting a young blond woman pushing a baby carriage down the street.  The two stop to talk and hit on her.  They look at the baby, who they clearly dislike and compliment her on the baby’s looks.  As they walk away, they reveal that they’ve stolen everything they can off the hapless mother including the baby’s bottle.  The slogan of cheat 2 win is used.  “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.”  Pretty good comic stuff.

Rey Mysterio Jr. and Kidman vs. Matt Hardy ver. 1.0 and Shannon Moore

            A good showcase match for all the talents involved.  My poor skills would do it no justice and its more fun to watch as a fan anyway.  Finish sees Matt hit the twist of fate for the pin.

Winners:  Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore

Backstage Michael Cole tells us that Nathan Jones will be officially committed to Smackdown.  We learn that Jones will debut next week.  Jones says his goal is to become the WWE champ, but first he has some unfinished business with “the biggest dog in the yard.”

Big Show’s gifts are craned to the ring.

Undertaker comes to ringside to once again receive his gifts from Show.  One box is visibly bigger than the other.  Taker starts with the smaller of the two boxes and finds a puppy (possibly golden retriever).  He hands the pup to a ringside attendant and ponders the second.  He starts to open it.  Thinks better of it and kicks in the door panel.  It’s empty!  But Show has come out from under the ring and attacked him from behind.  Taker is slammed repeatedly into the crates and then chokeslammed by Show.  Hit the music.

Torrie vs. Nidia (with Noble) Paddle on a Pole Match

            Torrie is wearing her red cross bikini top with garteresque bottoms.  Torrie has complete control until the combined interference attempts of Noble and Dawn Marie (who comes to ring side mid-match) take their toll.  Noble lays out Torrie and Nidia gets the paddle.  Together they hold and begin to paddle Torrie (who take 1, possibly 2.)  It’s Funaki that comes out for the save though.  Noble and Nidia leave quickly.

Winner: Nidia

Backstage, Hogan tries to get into Rock dressing room, but is stopped by the guards.  They tell him Rock doesn’t want to hear from him in the locker room.  Hogan says, he’ll have to call him out from the ring then.

Hogan is out to Good-sized pop.  Before Hogan can even begin, Rock is out and down to ringside.  Face to face leads to Rock calling for a mic.  Rock starts making noise about “clearing  the air” between them.  Harsh things said, yadda yadda.  He tells Hogan to apologize.  Hogan stares at him.  Rock asks if he’s going to apologize.  Hogan says “hell no.”  Rock claims credit for revitalizing Hulkamania.  He takes credit for Hulk’s commercials, etc.  All the while, he is careful to remain out of Hulk’s reach.  The Hulkster just stares at him.  After some more bad-mouthing, Rock offers his hand to Hogan as he leaves to show the Hulkster that he wants to put on the best damn rematch in history.  Hogan debates and decides to go for the shake.  However, rock spits water in Hogan’s face and backs up and out the ramp.  Decidedly unusual in that Hogan appears to be getting no speaking time lately.  In fact, I think with Benoit’s interview the other day, Chris has more on-air speaking time right now than Hogan.

Brock Lesner vs. Kurt Angle (with Team Angle and Paul Heyman)

            You knew this couldn’t be played straight.  Angle confronts Lesner and asks him if he really wants to do this.  He then tells Lesner that there was an unspoken stipulation to last weeks challenge.  Brock has to defeat Benjamin to get his shot at Angle.  Of course, to earn a shot at Benjamin, Brock has to beat Haas.  Brock tells him to bring it on.  Angle is out and Haas is in.  Haas gets squashed by Lesner and receives an F-5 for his troubles.  Benjamin false starts in, then charges.  Lesner takes early control, but Benjamin will take Brock off his feet with a drop kick to the leg.  Once Brock is off his feet, Benjamin targets Brock’s left arm for an extended period.  Brock will struggle and, of course, overcome Benjamin and deliver another F-5.  Angle starts to back up the ramp, but Heyman convinces him to return and face Lesner who is anxiously awaiting the champ.  Angle enters the ring, while Heyman quickly grabs a chair and sneaks into the ring behind Lesner.  Lesner eats a chairshot to the back from Heyman, but no sells it.  He turns on Heyman, which allows Angle to jump on his back and administer a sleeper hold.  Lesner will throw Angle off (and over the top rope to the floor) where Angle will once again start to leave.  This leaves Heyman at the mercy of Lesner who strips Paul of his jacket and sets him up for the F-5.  Alas, Heyman again avoids the F-5 as Angle returns to break it up.  Team Angle beat down begins.  Finally, Brock is rescued by Benoit and Edge.  The three clear the ring and have face-off as Team Angle backs away.

The evening ends with the faces posing in the ring, tearing up Heyman’s jacket (with Edge wiping with it,) and some hand slapping at ringside as they leave.

Overall pretty good stuff.  No real big revelations or surprises, but that’s to be expected on the last night before a PPV.  Solid fun. Rock as a heel seems to have taken large steps with this evening’s rants.

*= Rob Conway is one of the performers who was supposed to sign my Pillman Memorial sketch, but has thus far failed to do so.  I have vowed to ride him publicly every time I get the chance until he corrects this.

Thanks again to Robert Schutte for his report...

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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