by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

But no, that ain't what we do here.  So go ahead and read on.  As compiled from e-mail reports, here are the spoilers from the Fed's last couple days of TV tapings:

WWE Sunday Night Heat
(Taped Monday, Airs Sunday)

• Chris Jericho beat the Hurricane; Jericho was over super-big with the Halifax crowd.
• Victoria beat Jacqueline, thanks to an assist from Steven Richards.
• Maven beat Richards, but only because Jackie came back out and lent a hand.
• Chris Nowinski beat a jobber.

WWE Velocity
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Saturday)

• Jamie Noble and the FBI both beat jobbers in separate matches.
• Sean O'Haire beat Funaki.
• Chavo Guerrero beat Crash Holly.

WWE SmackDown!
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Thursday)

• Show opens with Vince McMahon in the ring for a promo.  He says that Mr. American and Hulk Hogan are the same person, and he'll prove it.  He says he's got Hogan "via satellite" from Tampa, FL, which also means that Mr. America will not be here on SD! tonight.  Then he calls out Stephanie for a bit of verbal sparring, basically an excuse for Steph to tell her dad that the ironclad contract she gave Mr. America was so that she could sign him before he went for a deal with Bischoff and RAW.  Then they turned on the satellite, and talked to Hogan for a bit.  Hogan insists he's not Mr. America, but Vince thinks otherwise.
• Eddie Guerrero got the wrestling off to a good start with a win over Matt Hardy; not as long as you might like, but pretty good, I guess.  After the match, Team Angle ran out and retrieved Kurt's medals.
• Spanky Kendrick got a win over Jamie Noble in another reasonably good, if short, match.
• Providing the counterpoint to Vince's opening promo, Mr. American made a surprise appearance.  He went to the ring for a promo and got huge cheers.  Vince comes out, and so does Steph.  Vince managed to low-blow America, and is going to unmask him, but Mr. fights back.  In the fracas, Stephanie is knocked down to the mat.  Once Vince is beaten back, Mr. America picked up Steph and carried her to the back.  Awww.
• Torrie Wilson beat Dawn Marie in match #176 of the Best of 201 Series.  Sable, who had been doing commentary, got in the ring afterwards and challenged Torrie to a bikini contest at the PPV.
• Team Angle beat the unlikely duo of Tajiri and Rikishi.  After the match, the Guerreros came back out for some hijinx, managing to snare both Kurt's medals and his framed portrait.
• A stipulation was announced for Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show at the PPV: it will be a stretcher match.  
• Rhyno defeated John Cena.  Good match, leading up to the finish where Spanky run in and clocked Cena, setting up the gore and the win for Rhyno.
• Backstage: Nunzio ropes Lesnar in with some banter, and the FBI manage to trap him in his own lockerroom, using a forklift.
• Big Show and A-Train were supposed to face Lesnar and Chris Benoit in the main event, but now, Benoit had to go it alone.  He got beat by Show following a chokeslam.  When Show and A-Train tried to do to Benoit what Show did to Mysterio at the PPV, Lesnar managed to escape his lockerroom to make the save.  Lesnar took out Train, but was then chokeslammed by Show.  The heels left the ring as the show concluded.

The tapings got generally mixed reviews, but it sounded like it was mostly because the Tuesday tapings were held in the same building as the Monday ones... and it would have taken a lot to live up to the Monday show.  Crowd was smaller, but just about as hot all the way through the show... and comparisons to RAW aside, this show seemed like it had enough entertaining aspects to be worth checking on Thursday night.

So do that.  And if you don't, back here on Friday for coverage and analysis, punks.

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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