by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Well you can read on and find out.  If, that is, you're too good to just sit back and enjoy the show on Thursday night...  keeping in mind that Monday's Heat tapings will only air internationally, while the US and Canada will get a live pre-PPV version of the show, we'll jump straight to last night's tapings in Baltimore:

WWE Velocity
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Saturday)

• [In Dark Matches: LOD beat a couple of indie workers... also, Crowbar (complete with Daffney Unger) lost a different dark match to another indie guy.]
• Spanky Kendrick beat Crash Holly
• Rhyno beat Bill DeMott
• A-Train beat a returning Kanyon
• A match between Chavo Guerrero and another indie guy was stopped by the ref; reports from Baltimore suggest Chavo might have been injured, which is why they went to the no contest

WWE SmackDown!
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Thursday)

• Vince McMahon opened the show with a promo, saying that he is challenging the SD! lockerroom, looking for somebody who will step up and face Mr. America at the Judgment Day PPV.  Somebody who will beat down Mr. A and unmask him as Hulk Hogan.  Immediately, the Full Blooded Italians hit the scene and say they would welcome Vince's challenge, because they've taken out Undertaker, Nathan Jones, even Brock Lesnar in the past.  Vince says he'll put them on his list and leaves.
• This segued smoothly into: Chuck Palumbo beat Rikishi.  During the match, Brock Lesnar was shown arriving at the arena... and when the FBI continued their 3-on-1 attack on Rikishi after the match, Lesnar came immediately out to the ring to make the save.
• Low Content Segment:  Mr. America visits sick kids...  Torrie Wilson takes off her robe to reveal a tasty little outfit, and promises even more skin on the PPV...  Steph gets a dozen Red and Yellow roses from Hulk Hogan, and a dozen White and Blue (blue?) ones from Mr. America; she proceeds to argue with Vince about them, and Vince thrashes all the flowers...  
• Matt Hardy beat Tajiri cleanly in another patented "good-but-short" match. Afterwards, Matt put himself on Vince's list of potential Mr. America opponents.
• Backstage: Stephanie runs into Mr. America and thanks him for the roses.
• Chris Benoit had to take a DQ win over John Cena.  Prior to the match, Cena did a rap in which he said HE wanted to face Mr. America.  Really good match, only slowed down in the middle with a rest spot, but one reader guessed that's where they'll put a commercial break.  Finish came because Benoit was in control, and the FBI came out to attack him.  After the ref gave Benoit the DQ win, Rhyno and Spanky Kendrick were out to make the save in a big brawl.  So Cena vs. Spanky didn't have enough cache for PPV?  Looks like we're going the six-man route...
• Piper's Pit time:  Piper and O'Haire immediately call out Mr. America.  They have some words (apparently, Piper wants to face Mr. America at the PPV, too), but Piper is soon distracted by a fan in the crowd incessantly waving an American Flag.  He sends O'Haire out to stop the guy.  O'Haire confiscates the flag and throws the fan into the ring... before too long, Piper goes for the guy's leg, and -- whoops -- it comes right off.  The Artist Formerly Known as Tenacious Z gets of easy, as Piper just sort of looks shocked and walks away when the leg pops off.  Hogan grabs the leg, and Z grabs the flag as the babyfaces stand alone in the ring.
• Low Content Segment 2: Eddie Guerrero is pacing, with a doctored portrait of Kurt Angle in the background.  He announces that he's going to be all by himself against Team Angle on Sunday, because Chavo is injured (whoops, looks like those reports about Velocity were right)....  and Sean O'Haire and Roddy Piper are shown in shock after what happened with Tenacious Z; O'Haire says Piper might get sued.
• Shelton Benjamin beat Eddie Guerrero.  Good match, about 5 solid minutes.  Finish came thanks to a distraction caused by Charlie Haas and a ladder; without Chavo there to even the odds, it was enough for Benjamin to get the cheap win.  After the match, Eddie "got his heat back" by commandeering the ladder for a spot or two.
• Backstage: Vince McMahon tracks down Roddy Piper and tells him not to be worried about what he did to the fan.  The Roddy Piper Vince knows is a heartless bastard, and wouldn't shed a tear for the fan.  And it's that Roddy Piper that Vince wants to face Mr. America at the PPV on Sunday.  Oh, good lord....
• Backstage some more:  it's now Sable's turn to strip down and tease us with some of what we'll see in the PPV bikini contest between her and Torrie Wilson.
• Main Event Backstage Interview:  Rey Mysterio is in the building after missing 3 weeks following the Big Show's attack on him at Backlash.  He says he's not sure, but thinks he'll be back in a few weeks.  He wants to stay out of the way of heavyweights, and go after the Cruiserweight Title when he's back.  Before he gets too far, though, Big Show attacks from the wings.  He basically carries Rey to the ring for more of a beating, but just as he's about to replay the stretcher attack from Backlash, Brock Lesnar ran in to make the save.  Lesnar hit a massive F-5 to end the show.  And the Show, too.

Oh well... so much for my thoughts about Tenacious Z debuting soon to spoil the Teddy Long 5 Minute White Boy Challenge.  This might be good for the kid, too, though.  Check it out Thursday, or come on back for a recap on Friday, here at OO...   

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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