by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

But the eternal question is always, "Will they deliver the goods when the audience is expecting the moon?"  Well, since, in the last 10 days, SD! put on the year's best PPV when there were NO expectations, I'm gonna go ahead and let myself get a bit enthusiastic about Thursday's show, on the grounds that the brand has perhaps fallen into a groove.

If you don't want to wait till Thursday night to find out what happens, just keep on reading, though...  that's what these spoilers are for.

WWE Sunday Night Heat
(Taped Monday, Airs Sunday)

• Harry Smith (teenage son of Davey Boy Smith) wrestled and won a DARK match.  Fans actually got into this a bit, so it must not have sucked.
• Mark Jindrak and Lance Cade beat two guys.
• Test beat Tommy Dreamer.
• Steven Richards and Victoria beat Maven and Ivory in a mixed tag main event.  [Hey, could a TE1/The Graduate sort of angle be enough to get Maven -- and Ivory -- back on RAW?  Or is that just kind of a stupid idea?]

WWE Velocity
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Saturday)

• Harry Smith wrestled and won another DARK match against some other guy.
• APA beat the FBI cleanly (the Bashams watched from the entrance ramp)
• Ultimo Dragon beat Shannon Moore in a good match
• Orlando Jordan beat some guy
• Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin beat Spanky Kendrick and Funaki in another good match

WWE SmackDown!
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Thursday)

• Super start to the show, as it's Eddie Guerrero defending the US Title against Chris Benoit in a Vengeance PPV rematch.  They go about 6 minutes or so, all great action, and then Rhyno ran out to cause some interference.  That brought Tajiri out from the back, and a big four-way brawl was on.  Officials tried to break it up, but couldn't.  The match was a no decision, but to make up for it, WWE Official Sgt. Slaughter orders that they IMMEDIATELY have a tag match.
• After (presumably) a commercial break, they'll pick up with the tag match, as Benoit and Tajiri score the win over Eddie and Rhyno.  After they'd already had the singles match, this was like a whole second match, also really outstanding.  Tajiri worked the first part of the match (to rest Benoit, I guess), but spent most of his time getting his ass kicked until he made a hot tag to Benoit.  Things heat up, and eventually, we get all four men going at it again.  In the chaos, Rhyno gets the green mist, which allows Benoit to isolate on Eddie, and get the submission victory via the Crossface.  By all accounts, an awesome opening sequence, and Benoit's win over the US Champ no doubt sets up a rematch down the line, which ain't shabby, either.
• Backstage: Kurt Angle tells us that he still respects Brock Lesnar and hopes they can be friends, but that Lesnar's actions last week (F-5'ing Angle) will have to be accounted for.
• Nunzio beat Zach Gowen.  Another good, diverse showing from Gowen, who had the match won... but Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore (who were doing commentary) decided to interfere when Zach went for the moonsault finisher.  That allowed Nunzio to steal the win.  And after the match, Matt did another brutal beatdown on Zach to huge heel heat.
• Backstage: Undertaker walks in on Vince McMahon and Sable sharing a tender moment, and castigates Vince for how he sent A-Train out to attack Steph was his idea, and how he felt no remorse.  This exchange is interrupted when shouts from the hallway draw Vince's attention.  He goes out to find Brock Lesnar KO'ed on the floor, while Kurt Angle and the FBI are nearby, chuckling.  Kurt and Vince lock eyes and smile.  
• In another Vengeance rematch, John Cena defeated the Undertaker.  Yes, you read that right.  Cena pinned Taker.  Unfortunately, he needed some help to do it.  After Taker controled the early portions of the match, it was more back and forth towards the end, when A-Train decided to run out after a ref bump.  Train does his backbreaker on Taker, but when the ref comes around, it's only good enough for a 2 count.  Some reversals, and eventually Cena lands an F-U to follow up, and this time, he gets the three count.  Mixed reaction to Cena's win, but as Taker slowly got to his feet and left, he got a big pop.  A good match, but most said not as good as at Vengeance.
• Jamie Noble beat [Doug or Danny] Basham.  Apparently, this match is predicated on how the Bashams like to be spanked and how Noble likes to screw.  Or something.  Noble wins, and when the Bashams try to double team him afterwards, Billy Gunn runs out to make the save.  A ha, so I guess that IS where they're going with that silliness from last week.  For better or for worse.
• Charlie Haas beat Rey Mysterio in a text book really-good-but-short TV match.  Both teammates, Benjamin and Kidman were there and played some role in the match, but the finish was straight-up: Haas countered the West Coast Pop into the Haas of Pain for the submission win.
• Sable ate up some time with an in-ring promo about how Steph was missing again this week because of the brutal beating she gave her at Vengeance.  Yadda yadda yadda.
• The main event cage match between Brock Lesnar and Mr. McMahon went to a no decision.  Special ref Kurt Angle presided over about 90 seconds of legit action, as Lesnar mostly dominated Vince.  But then, Lesnar mysteriously collapsed.  Vince made the cover, but Angle was actually concerned for Lesnar's health, and wouldn't make the count.  Vince even slapped Angle, and told him to count, but Angle instead started asking for EMTs to come to the ring.  Vince's berating gets to the point that Angle has to put him in the Ankle Lock.  And it's at this point that Lesnar leaps to his feet and beats the holy living shit out of Kurt.  F-5s, tosses into the cage, the whole nine.  Angle is left bloodied by the whole thing, as Lesnar and Vince reveal that they were in cahoots all along.  Brock and Vince leaves to massive heat, and eventually, Angle makes it to his feet, and is cheered on his way out of the ring.  No other special, non-televised action, though.

A very well-reviewed show, and I'm loving the main event angle.  Just what the doctor (and The Rick, if we are to be appropriately self-congratulatory) ordered.  

Check out the show on Thursday night, or come on back to OO for full coverage on Friday.  
 
 

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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