by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Well, I might suggest you just wait till then and watch for yourself, but I know if you're here, it's for a reason.  So just keep on reading and spoil the rest of the week's WWE TV shows...  go on, I know you want to....

WWE Sunday Night Heat
(Taped Monday, Back to Sundays this week)

• The Dudleys beat Two Guys
• Maven beat Steven Richards (Victoria was ejected from ringside)
• Molly Holly beat Ivory in a women's title match
• Val Venis beat Some Other Guy
   

WWE Velocity
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Saturday)

• Bill "Hugh Morrus" DeMott joined Josh Matthews as color commentator, as he has decided to retire from in-ring competition
• Horshu (a big guy developed by UPW) beat Elix Skipper in what was listed by 2 as a dark match and by 1 as a Velocity match 
• Jamie Noble and Sean O'Haire beat Tough Enough 3's Two Winners in what was listed by 1 as a dark match and by 2 as a Velocity match (the next three are all Velocity for sure, though)
• Rhyno beat Kidman
• Spanky and Paul London beat Two Guys
• Tajiri beat Shannon Moore
   

WWE SmackDown!
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Thursday)

• Show opens with a confrontation between Vince McMahon and new GM Paul Heyman, who review last week... and Vince immediately proceeds the threaten Heyman's job (and health) if Paul can't figure out some way to eliminate Undertaker from the Buried Alive Match.
• Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle teamed up and this week managed to beat John Cena and A-Train.  The finish was caused by dissension on the HEEL side, where A-Train got pissed as Cena, causing Cena to retaliate, resulting in Train getting pinned.  As prophesied last week, Benoit's slow heel turn just might be getting accompanied by Cena's face turn.  Be sure to enjoy Cena's pre-match rap, too.
• Backstage: Heyman tries to appeal to Vince's ego by reminding him of all the matches he's won and all the men he's destroyed, and suggesting that he can take care of his own business at Survivor Series.  Vince seems...  distracted by his own greatness if not particularly satiated.  That'll have to do, since Taker had the night off and won't be appearing to do any angles with Heyman, Vince, or anyone else.
• Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin beat all three members of the FBI in a handicap match.  Good stuff, and the crowd treated Haas and Benjamin as babyfaces.
• Ultimo Dragon beat Rey Mysterio in a 10 minute Match of the Night.  Let me type that again, slower and in bigger letters in case you don't believe me: ULTIMO DRAGON BEAT REY MYSTERIO IN A TEN MINUTE MATCH OF THE NIGHT.  Finally out of the Velocity ghetto, Dragon was "on" in this match.  A little storyline tension added to the drama, too, as Tajiri and the Yakuza were at ringside (ostensibly doing commentary, but nobody saw them talking much), and wound up interfering to cause Rey to lose.  Dragon took the win without even knowing that Tajiri had helped him.  Then, after the match, Tajiri tried to get Dragon to join their group, but Dragon dismissed them and walked away.  Well, even if it's just an excuse to build Dragon up so he can job to Tajiri in a Thursday throw-away match, I'll take this near-PPV-quality showcase in the mean time.
• Backstage: Big Show and Brock Lesnar are arguing about who is to blame for last week's loss to the Undertaker when they are told that Paul Heyman is waiting for them in the ring.
• Heyman starts another in-ring promo with two giants at his side: the returning Nathan Jones and developmental talent Matt Morgan.  Per his request, Lesnar is the first to come out, and he's eventually joined by Show.  Both think that they might be in line for some punishment after last week's loss to Taker, but Heyman assures them that's not the case.  Rather, he's called these four together because Heyman's adding a SD!-only five-on-five match to Survivor Series, and he wants Brock Lesnar to be the captain, and these three other mammoths to be his teammates.  And they'll add one more later.  At the PPV, they'll face a team captained by Kurt Angle, and all will be good.  The massive heels all agree to work together, and Heyman's happy.
• Backstage: Angle has watched this all go down, and approaches Chris Benoit.  They do the "I don't like you, but I respect you" thing, and Benoit ends up agreeing to join Angle's team for Survivor Series.
• Backstage: Chavo Guerrero catches up to Eddie, and lays some heavy stuff on him...  about not letting down his fans, or his family, or going back to the booze and the pills...  Chavo is definitely giving off a heel vibe here, and Eddie brushes him off to head to the ring.
• Eddie hits the ring for a promo, and is really getting into it, selling his shame at losing his belts last week, and apologizing to everybody.  He turns it around, though, and gets the fans popping huge by the end, which is when Shaniqua comes out and distracts Eddie with some taunting while the Bashams attack from out of the crowd.  Eddie actually rallies and hits a few spots before succombing to the three-on-one attack.  Well after the fact, Chavo did run in for the tardy save and helped Eddie to the locker room.
• The Bashams hung around, and it was because they were up next with a win over Scotty 2 Hotty and Rikishi in a good match.  The Bashams again used their bait-and-switch move to get the cheap win.  Either Doug or Danny rolled his partner out and played possum until Scotty approached, at which point the illegal (but nearly identical-looking) Basham rolled Scotty up for the pinfall.
• A special "Halloween Challenge Match" (or something) pit Dawn Marie against Torrie Wilson in what might as well have been called the "Sorry Dawn, You're Hot, but Torrie's Hotter, and Has Also Been Naked" Challenge.  Funaki MC'ed the event, which was basically an excuse to have the divas "bob for apples" in some kind of viscous fluid that eventually coated their bodies.  Torrie wound up removing her top (the fluid kept her adequately covered) to win over the crowd.  Funaki had a seizure or something at this point, so Tazz came in to make the save, and suggested that Torrie give fans "the treat" to go with "the trick."  After she teased the crowd, she instead shoved Tazz into the fluid, and everybody laughed and laughed.  OK, not really.  But it was harmless fun.
• Backstage: Eddie is getting medical attention when Paul Heyman happens past.  Eddie stops him and demands a tag title rematch next week against the Bashams.  Paul's OK with that, but he changes it up a little.  Instead of a tag match, Eddie can face both Bashams in a handicap match. 
• Backstage: Kurt Angle is doing the cell phone walk and talk, and reveals that in addition to Chris Benoit, he's got his other 3 partners lined up, too.  Hardcore Holly wants in so he can go after Lesnar... and the APA have signed on, too.  This does not generate quite the pop you would expect, but given that the other team has a developmental guy and Nathan Jones on it, well, this is keeping the sides even.
• The APA beat Big Show and Brock Lesnar via DQ when Show and Lesnar went into "eliminate the competition and to hell with winning the match" mode.  Show Pillmanized Faarooq's ankle, so you might have at least one opening on Angle's team again (Cena? Heels counter with A-Train?  Dunno, but like RAW's 5-on-5, the speculation is fun).  When Angle and Benoit ran in to try to make the save for Bradshaw, they were countered by Morgan and Jones.  The four monster heels effective destroyed the three remaining faces to end the show.  Angle eventually recovered to do a little post-camera celebration for the live crowd, but that was all. 

Erin Anderson was at the SD!/Velocity tapings in Atlanta last night, and without even knowing it, followed strict OO protocol by just having a good time at the show and leaving the notepad/stopwatch gimmick to somebody else (the internet's FULL of people who love to bring notepads and stopwatches, instead of drinkin' money, to wrestling shows!).  But she did post a collection of her general thoughts on the show last night, and I reproduce them here for added depth to the spoilers:

I got home from the SD! taping at the Arena at Gwinnett Center half an hour ago, and I figured I'd post my thoughts before I forgot everything.

- Live wrestling events (this is my fifth, after one PPV, two RAWs, and one other SD!) are much more fun now that I'm 21. The guys at the liquor stands got to know me as the "Jack and Coke Girl." Don't worry, I wasn't driving.

- Both Rhyno and Billy Kidman, who wrestled each other on Velocity, got MASSIVE pops.

- Everybody in the crowd, myself included, was pissed that Taker wasn't there.

- Benoit/Angle v. Cena/A-train was excellent, and after tonight, I'd love to see a Cena/Benoit singles match. A helluva a way to kick off the show.

- As I waited outside for the doors to be opened, some guy dressed a bit like Jeff Hardy (he had short hair, but was wearing cargo shorts and a cut-up black long-sleeved shirt, as well as black lipstick and eyeliner) had an impromptu wrestling match with his buddy, who was wearing Taker-style black gloves and a bandana on his head. Their "match" included a Tombstone reversal sequence culminating with piledriver on concrete(!), and did a good job of entertaining all of us while we waited for the doors to open. Idiots.

- I can't be positive, but Cena may very well have turned face tonight. I'll have to see if he agrees to be on Lesnar's team or not, but he was certainly a face to the Atlanta crowd. We all loved him.

- The Torrie/Dawn Marie costume contest was a collosal waste of time, at least from a female's point of view. I can't speak for the guys in the audience. They sure seemed to love Dawn Marie, though.

- No Sable on SD! is a good thing.

- No Zach Gowen on SD! is a good thing.

- Where the hell was Matt Hardy? Shannon Moore was there, but no Mattitude to speak of. I was disappointed.

- Nathan Jones is back? NOOOOOOOOO! Anyhow, it took me a few minutes to recognize him, probably because I wasn't expecting to see him there. The new guy that Heyman introduced (Matt somethingorother, who is Nathan Jones' size and rather impressive-looking) better be good.

- The APA do not belong on a SD! main-event. Thank god Angle and Benoit decided to show up and save the whole thing.

- I missed the entire segment with Eddie Guerrero, due to a bathroom break and beer run. I'll have to wait and see what happened on Thursday.

- The crowd couldn't decide whether to cheer or boo Paul Heyman (naturally, I cheered, though that got me a few funny looks). I assume that putting him at odds with Vince will make him a tweener, but I have no idea what WWE will do with him.

- As opposed to last year's Halloween episode, I didn't see a single person in costume, besides the Jeff Hardy wannabe and a guy in an Ultimo Dragon mask.

- Are Haas and Benjamin faces or heels now? I have no idea after their match with the FBI. The crowd didn't seem to know either.

- Ticket sales were pretty poor. My seats got moved to the camera side of the arena, and a good half of the Gwinnett Center was tarped off -- after the event had already been moved from Phillips Arena (which holds far more people than the Gwinnett Center). The last four times WWE has stopped by here, it's been at Phillips. SD! really needs to do something about the ticket sales, as RAW doesn't seem to have much of a problem.

- Had I planned ahead, I would have brought a "Stop Sign fears Cookie Sheet" sign to the arena. Sorry y'all, but it slipped my mind.

- Overall, it was a pretty good show. I have no idea how it will come off on TV.

- Before the show, they played the Lonely Road of Faith video package on the Titan Tron. Just like the first time I saw it, it gave me goosebumps. Fantastic.

- Angle and Benoit got the biggest pops of the night.

That is all. I'm off to watch my tape of "24" now.

 

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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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