by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

For whatever it's worth, here's what WWE put on tape.

WWE Sunday Night Heat 
(Taped Monday, Airs Sunday)

• Rico beat Jon Heidenreich (listed as a dark match in one report)
• Randy Orton beat Val Venis
• Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak beat the cute kids from Tough Enough 3 (Matt and John, I don't know their last names, neither did any of the reports I got) in a good match
• Matt Hardy beat Lance Storm in another good match (one report even called it the Match of the Night, COUNTING what happened on RAW)

WWE Velocity
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Saturday)

• Billy Kidman beat Sakoda (not as good as you'd think, apparently)
• Rhyno beat Funaki
• The World's Greatest Tag Team beat Spanky and Paul London (excellent match, which you'd expect as they've been working very well-reviewed house show matches against each other; one report expects it'll have to be edited down for TV since it ran close to or a little over 10 minutes)
• Matt Morgan beat Shannon Moore 

WWE SmackDown
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Thursday)

• Opening video package: Eddie, Chavo, and Kurt Angle from last week.
• Kurt Angle opens the show with a promo.  He continued last week's theme and kissed up to some soldiers in the front row for a bit.  Then he got on to business, which was saying that he wasn't gonna just stand idly by and let a great tag team, and a great FAMILY, break up.  So first, he called out Chavo Guerrero.  Chavo came out, and when pressed by Kurt, refused to apologize, saying he would slap Eddie again if he had the chance.  This brought Eddie Guerrero out to the ring; and as last week, Kurt had to hold Eddie back from charging Chavo (who bailed out of the ring).  Angle eventually got both calm and in the ring, and asked one of them to be the big man and extend his hand in reconciliation.  Chavo eventually stepped up and put his hand out first.  Eddie was hesitant, but after some prodding by Angle, Eddie shook hands, and the uncle and nephew were friends again.  Yay!
• Backstage: Big Show is interviewed about tonight's main event, a Street Fight against Bob Holly.  Show has held onto the chair Bob Holly used against him last week, and promises to repay Holly later tonight.
• Chris Benoit hit the ring for a match....  but Paul Heyman interrupted and announced that he already repaid Benoit for worming his way into the Royal Rumble match by making him enter #1.  And tonight, he'll pay Benoit back for a broken finger.  To get Benoit ready for the Rumble, Heyman has arranged a Mini-Royal Rumble.  Benoit's already in the ring as #1... and his three opponents: the FBI.
• Benoit wins the Mini Rumble.  Stamboli came in #2, and lasted the 2 minutes (although he was in the Crossface and tapping by that point).  Palumbo entered #3.  Stamboli was eliminated first.  Then Nunzio entered last.  It was 2-on-1 for the FBI, but Benoit rallied.  Nunzio was out second.  And then Palumbo was out and Benoit was the winner of this effective little segment.
• Rey Mysterio beat Akio in a non-title match.  Good, but standard, TV match here.  About 6 minutes, and Rey wins by managing to take out Sakoda (who attempted to interfere) and then hit a West Coast Pop for the pinfall win.
• Next is supposed to be the Bashams defending the Tag Titles against Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty... but as Rikishi and Scotty make their entrance, the Bashams sneak in and blindside them.  This is the same trick they used at the tapings last week, though the segment wound up not airing with all the editing and shuffling they did.
• Before the Bashams could escape, Kurt Angle hit the ring, and announced that it'd be bad for SD! to promise a Tag Title match and not deliver... so he went to Paul Heyman and arranged something special: the Bashams must now defend the titles against Los Guerreros!
• The Bashams retain the titles over Los Guerreros in the consensus Match of the Night.  Fast start for a few minutes, then things settle down with Eddie trapped in the ring.  The beatdown goes on for a while until he can finally make the hot tag to Chavo...  Chavo came in and briefly cleaned house.  But then they did the closing spot: Chavo tried sunset flip, but the victim Basham (nobody can tell them apart, apparently) reached out and got an assist from Shaniqua, who pulled him down on top of Chavo, and then kept on pulling for extra leverage to get the Bashams a pinfall win.  After the match, Chavo sort of powdered out to ringside in shock, and watched for a bit as the Bashams decided to attack Eddie 2-on-1.  Finally, Chavo grabbed a chair and hopped into the ring... the Bashams scattered.  But when Chavo went over to Eddie, it was NOT to help him.  Chavo laid a serious beating on Eddie (who bladed and was a mess by the end).  Chavo left his uncle in a pool of his own blood and drove off in the Low Rider to end the segment.  Some pretty good heat on Chavo here...
• John Cena beat A-Train in an OK match.  Cena got over huge with his traditional pre-match freestyle, and was the most popular performer of the night in one report.  Standard monster heel beats down smaller guy for a few minutes, then a babyface comeback for the win match.  Cena hits the F-U for the pinfall.
• Backstage: Eddie was getting stitched up, and Kurt Angle came up to him... Kurt said he had no idea Chavo was wound so tight, and apologized for getting involved.  Eddie didn't really say anything, but was clearly seething just below the surface.
• Backstage: Nidia is loitering, waiting for Jamie Noble to show up.  But he ain't here.  Paul Heyman comes up to Nidia and says that Noble's up next for his #1 Cruiserweight Contender match... Nidia says she has no idea where he is.  Heyman says he needs a Suitable Replacement.  Nidia says OK, Jamie will be upset he missed his chance but Heyman's gotta do what he's gotta do.  Heyman then says the replacement will be.... Nidia.  Uh oh.
• Tajiri beat Nidia to earn a Cruiserweight Title shot.  Paul Heyman actually led Nidia to the ring and then hung her out to dry.  Tajiri did a few moves, then pinned her, easily.  After the match, Tajiri (just to be a dick) was setting up Nidia for the Buzzsaw Kick, but Rey Mysterio ran out for the save.  THIS is when Noble decided to show up.  He attacked Rey, and grabbed Nidia, and left.
• Hardcore Holly beat Big Show in an Alabama Street Fight (non-US Title match; in fact, has Show defended the US Title even ONCE since winning it?).  In his home state, Holly a slightly stronger fan favorite than he'd been on other recent telecasts.  The street fight rules also helped, as they brawled all over with foreign objects of all kinds, too.  The icing on the cake: Brock Lesnar came out to do guest commentary, which served to give Holly something to get distracted by a few times.  The chair that Show brought to the ring wound up being his undoing.  Holly incapacitated Show with chairshots, and then actually used the chair to choke Show into unconsciousness to get the win.  After the match, Holly again went after Lesnar, who jumped over the barricade and escaped through the crowd (apparently, his injury precluded any physicality; either that, or they just wanted to get the idea of Brock Lesnar, Chickenshit, across to fans).
• So there you have it: WWE TV tapings, as they happened live.  If you're feeling lucky, you can skip the actual broadcasts, and assume stuff goes down like this...  but maybe you shouldn't take the risk.  If nothing else, OO will have recaps of the shows in their as-aired form coming at you in coming days....
   

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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