by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Final stretch before the Rumble PPV, a show that, for one reason or another, always generates a certain amount of enthusiasm.  RAW picked up the pace this week heading to the show... but what of SD!?

Well, just read on, and be ruined, kids.... a special note: I'm being lazy and not including any results from Monday night's Heat tapings.  The vast majority of you (US/Canada) will get a live pre-PPV edition of Heat on Sunday.  For the 5% of you hailing from overseas, well, just consider a late Christmas gift from me to you that you'll actually be able to be surprised by your token International Heat.

But for now, as compiled from e-mail reports, here's the Velocity/SD! tapings from last night in Minnesota:

• Velocity matches included: Paul London defeated Lenny Lane (Lane was way over as a babyface) in what might have been a dark match...  World's Greatest Tag Team beat Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty...  Orlando Jordan beat Some Guy...  and the Basham Brothers beat Ultimo Dragon and Funaki in a good match.
• In the SD! opener, Rey Mysterio managed a win over the bigger Chuck Palumbo with a quick pinfall combo out of nowhere... but the bigger story was that after the match, the FBI descended, en masse, and beat the piss out of Rey.  Jamie Noble came down to oversee the beating, and when it was over, handed Nunzio (his cousin, anyone?) an envelope full of money to pay for the softening up of the Cruiserweight Champ.
• Backstage: Paul Heyman cuts a vicious promo on Chris Benoit and John Cena after the soap-eating incident of last week.  He says that this week, he's forcing them, just days prior to the Rumble match, to wrestle a 2-on-4 handicap match against Lesnar/Rhyno/Show/Morgan, and that he'll personally be at ringside to watch the carnage.
• Tajiri beat Billy Kidman in a good, but not quite as good as you might hope match via clean pinfall.  This was an advancement match, and now Tajiri is in the Rumble.
• Backstage: Lesnar was once again shadowing Big Show, and it seemed like Show was just about sick of it.  He accused Lesnar of just hanging around because he didn't want to face Hardcore Holly.  Lesnar disputed that, and decided to go off on his own, muttering something about gaining 15 pounds in the week since he started hanging around Big Show...
• In another advancement match, A-Train beat Shannon Moore to win a spot in the Rumble.  At one point, Ernest Miller and his butler Lamont came out and tried to distract A-Train with some dancing, but no dice...
• John Cena and Chris Benoit beat Brock Lesnar and Big Show and Rhyno and Matt Morgan... except that actually, it was more like they beat Rhyno/Morgan.  Show, apparently was pinned down in his locker room by a mysterious benefactor, while Lesnar got sick of this match early and decided to head back to the locker room (probably, the announcers will play it like he realized Show wasn't there and he wanted to go hang out with him instead of standing out in the open)...  but that's exactly when Bob Holly decided to strike, and he put a good beating on Lesnar.  Good match, though, even with Lesnar only tangentially involved.  In the end, it was a hot tag to John Cena, a little controlled chaos, and then an F-U on Rhyno for the win.  And then after the match, FINALLY Big Show got free from the locker room and came down to put a beating on Cena and Benoit.
• Billy Gunn's #1 Greatest Moment: the Gay Wedding to Chuck Palumbo.  For the publicity it brought him.  Nothing else.  Okay.  I'm not asking, so please, Billy, tell me no more...
• Bradshaw beat Akio and Sakoda in another Advancement Match.  Though announced as a Triple Threat, alot of the match had Tajiri's henchmen working together against Bradshaw. To no avail.  Bradshaw wins cleanly and easily in the night's only "grab a sandwich and not miss a thing" segment.
• In the main event, Chavo Guerreros Jr. and Sr. teamed up and beat Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle in a match that was more about telling a story than having a 20 minute workrate-fest.  In this case, the story was Angle being "blinded" after a supposed shot to the eye (and yet, neither of two onsite reports really saw the precise incident), and accidentally hit Eddie with an Angle Slam in the confusion.  As officials helped Kurt to the dressing room, the father-son team finished off Eddie, with Chavo Jr. using a Frog Splash to get the pinfall.  An entertaining main event.

SD! was called a very strong outing in both reports I got mailed to me.  Except for Bradshaw's match.  But honestly, the other hour-fifty went over really well.  Check it out, or come back on Friday for... well, SOMEbody's gonna have a recap.
 

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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