by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Except for a dozen or so mocking e-mails that welcomed me late last night when I finally rolled back home after my three-day, two-city Weekend of Fun.  Just what I wanted.  How ever did you know?

But I'll get to those matter later.  First, I'll at least TRY to pretend that I've got a column's worth of material in me:

• A week after delivering the Free TV Match of the Year (So Far) -- and quite possibly the Free TV Show of the Year, for that matter -- RAW is loaded up and looking to score big again tonight.  
   
  Five big matches are already announced.  One will be a popular superstar's debut match.  Another will be for the IC Title.  A third will be a PPV-caliber Cage match.  And let's not forget the "Rick Scaia's Birthday Present" Match in which TAJIRI WILL NOT JOB TO BATISTA OR ELSE I WILL GET VERY, VERY ANGRY.
   
  Whoa.  Sorry, there...
   
  Let's start at the top, actually.  And that means going over the heads of Chris Jericho and Christian.  Although I have no doubts they'll work the main event, I actually suspect RAW's main development tonight will still center on the players in the World Title picture.
   
  With the announcement last week that Shawn Michaels and Triple H would be doing a Hell in the Cell match at the June RAW PPV (and the accompanying expectation that Chris Benoit will be locked in a title feud with Kane by then), it seems like maybe we've got some work to do.  And unlike SmackDown! (less than a week before a PPV and they've only got 3 matches lined up), RAW strikes me as a brand that'll do a solid job of promoting and hyping something like Hell in the Cell.
   
  So coming off of HHH costing Michaels the title last week, I'd expect it's sooner rather than later before they get in each others' faces and agree to face off one last time.  Even if the HitC stip isn't added this week, those two should cross paths tonight.  Kane/Benoit maybe will take another week or two to develop (since Kane, sadly, is mired in this crap-a-thon with Lita, and needs to get some closure on it before he can move on up), but it, too, is in the offing.
   
  With the top of the card addressed, we can move on down a little notch and start talking about the five announced matches tonight for RAW.  None really has the cache that Benoit/Michaels did last week, that vibe of being Pay Per View Main Event Caliber.  But 2 of the matches are easily PPV caliber and heads-and-shoulders above anything you'd get on a typical free show.
   
  This is still a big night for RAW, in other words.
   
  I think Chris Jericho vs. Christian inside a steel cage has all the ear-markings of another contender for the "Free TV Match of the Year," actually.  There's more backstory here than there was for Benoit/HBK, even if there isn't a World Title on the line... and the past matches and the fact that this one will be in a cage to eliminate interference and MAYBE give us a bit of closure?  All points to something even better than what they've delivered so far.  And what they've done in three marquee matches so far has been pretty impressive, so...  well, I think good things will happen.  Storyline-wise, it doesn't so much matter who wins and loses, but I think all signs point to Christian's Soldiers getting the last laugh: it sure feels like the next phase here will be Jericho vs. Tomko, doesn't it?
   
  Then you've got Randy Orton defending the IC Title against Edge.  Storywise, this is a result of Edge pinning Orton in a tag match last week.  Qualitywise, prospects are also good, since Edge has looked increasingly like his old self in the last two weeks that his opponents were "Not Kane."  Unfortunately, whatever the end game is for Orton's IC Title run, it doesn't involve Edge and only one week of build up, I don't think... given how long he's had the belt and given the nature of Orton's (over-)push, it'll be more special than that when he loses.  Maybe an Evolution numbers game, or something, will cause the loss... but screwy or not, Edge probably has to go down.
   
  Third on the depth chart: Eugene vs. Rob Conway.  It'll be the least of the five matches announced, I'm sure: probably the shortest and the least action-packed.  But for sheer entertainment value, well, I'm taking a shine to this Eugene guy, and William Regal is pure gold as his straight man.  Eugene showed last week he can do SOME wrestling, too, but mostly I have a feeling tonight's debut match will still see Eugene get outclassed (or more aptly: outcheated), forcing Regal into action and setting up a tag feud between Eugene/Regal and La Resistance.
   
  Fourth: Batista vs. Tajiri.  I'm begging the Fed to just pick a strategy with Tajiri and stick with it...  either be jerks and have him do pointless jobs to Coach and Cade so I know not to get my hopes up, or use him properly as a mid-card secondary-title contender.  Just quit this "beats Kane one week, gets squashed by Cade in a meaningless match the next, then is making HHH go blind a week later" crap where I don't know what to think!  Sadly, I'm guessing we're seeing the start of a new phase of Batista's career, where they want to make a go of him as more of a singles guy than as the far-less-interesting-guy-the-Ric-Flair-has-to-partner-with, so I'm really expecting the worst: most sissyfied posing and a squash win over My Boy Tajiri.  Prove me wrong, WWE, prove me wrong...
   
  And last: Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin, Part 3.  Since beating HHH twice in two weeks, Benjamin has been on the slow boat back to Heat.  Getting back into the mix last Monday, Benjamin maybe has a chance tonight to catapult back to where he was at a month ago with yet another win over HHH.  Except that I still say Shelton's real value would have been in Benoit's spot as Edge's partner and... well, no use repeating myself yet again.  Suffice to say that they didn't really follow up well with the kid, and now, he could use another win over the Game.  Shawn Michaels run-in, anyone?  I could see this going on as the opener, actually, with Shawn costing HHH the match, and then things build up over the course of the show so that the HHH/Shawn HitC Match is made before the night is out...  either way, when the fifth most intriguing match of the night has the promise to be this good and this interesting, I'm gonna go ahead and get fired up for tonight's show.
   
  Besides the Benoit/Shawn/HHH stuff, the Unannounced Portion of the evening should include: more Kane/Lita/Matt, and remember to keep an eye out for Jeff Hardy at any time...  more forward motion in the women's division, where both Victoria/Molly and Victoria/Gail seem viable options (my play: set it up so that maybe next week Gail gets her title shot at Victoria after she got the tap out in that tag match last week... and have Molly cost her the match, because SHE wants to unseat Victoria at the June PPV, and can't let her pretty little henchwoman do it first; as alluded to last week, keeping Molly a hated heel even though she's seems way cooler now that Victoria's babyface act has been so utterly boring and bland could use a boost like turning on Gail would provide)...  and although I don't think it'll actually happen given recent developments, remember there were rumors about "Hirohito" debuting this week...
   
  Shaping up like another quality show.  Check it out, or come on back here to OO tomorrow for the Full Report, courtesy of Yours Truly...
   
  
• Both Mick Foley and the Outsiders were in action at a major event in Japan over the weekend... and despite the unique line-up (and the more unique way it came to be, as Foley was a last-second replacement for Bill Goldberg), the report I got from overseas was that it was a disappointment on just about every front.
   
  The crowd was estimated at maybe 10,000, below expectations, and both main events featuring the imported stars were shorter and less intense than expected.  In the semi-main, Foley lost to AJPW Triple Crown Champ Toshiaki Kawada via pinfall after about 10-12 minutes; although Foley was reprising "Cactus Jack" (known in Japan for his brutality), my reporter said they played it kind of for laughs (Mr. Socko and all), which didn't seem to go over so well.  In the main event, the Outsiders were defeated by Shinja Hashimoto and Naoya Ogawa in about 6-7 minutes, a match that would have been a disappointment even as a main event for a free Monday night show, much less for a major event.
   
  Too bad.  I was actually thinking last week: if ever I was gonna get back into trading tapes, it'd be for a show like this one.  The undercard also had a ton of cool importees on it (Sabu, Mike Awesome, Spanky, others), and I guess that was OK, but it sounds like the event as a whole was nothing special...
   
  
• I guess I'll get this out of the way...  so a bunch of you found some curious anomalies in my Friday column.  Well good for you, Potsie.
   
  First was an odd bullet point that said something about SD!'s prelim rating and making fun of "Friends," but which didn't actually give the rating, or the deserved mocking.  "What the hell, Scaia?" was a popular question in my weekend collection of e-mail.
   
  Well, I'm here to report to you that SD!'s rating last week was a 2.8.  A sizeable drop from the week before and WELL below the year to date average for the show.  And obviously, you can blame the head-to-head competition from the last episode of "Friends," which drew some disgustingly high rating.  Sadly, making fun of your embarrassing National Obsession with "Friends" doesn't seem as pertinent now as it did last week, so... I'll just echo Jon Stewart's line: "I never even saw a single episode of the show, and this past week, I'm still completely sick and tired of it." 
   
  And the other thing: I went out of my way to give Cory Harris' Guest Column a fancy-ass plug, even came up with a killer joke that maybe 3 people in the universe would even get (HUSS! HUSS!), and then the actual link to said column is wrong.  Duh.  Here's the real link.  It's still every bit as awesome a read today as it was on Friday, so check it out.
   
  As an explanation for the two screw-ups, I guess the only thing I can do is let you in on a little secret: Friday's column was written almost in its entirety on Thursday, so that I could get out of town that much quicker on Friday afternoon.  In my quick once-over on Friday, I remembered to shorten my discussion of Jacquelyn and just add a link to Erin's column, I remembered to add in the WM21/Easter bullet point, and I decided upon much reflection to add the "just joking" line after I talked about boning Jeb's mother.  I did NOT remember to take out my placeholder bullet and actually put in the SD! rating and Friends mocking, nor did I actually double-check the links I gave to Cory's column.  I am deeply, deeply sorry for any pain or suffering I have caused.
   
  Well, not really.  From the tone of things, I think you people LIKE catching me with my pants around my ankles.  And if that's the case, I'm not sorry: I'm very happy to have entertained you.
   
  
• Looks like Ric Flair missed scheduled house show dates on both Friday and Saturday night... he was replaced on those shows by Randy Orton (who pulled double duty by working the main event tag matches with Batista after already opening the show with IC Title defenses).
   
  However, Flair was back on the road last night, and will be at TV tonight, so this was probably just a continuation of his mini-vacation that started last week on RAW when he became a grandpa.
   
  
• MTV's "Punk'd" is (not-so-)surprisingly back on the air with new episodes after failing to "punk" us with a fake cancellation last year... and a bunch of you caught The Rock getting punk'd last night.
   
  The gist of the prank: they blew up the Rock's trailer (or actually, a double of his trailer), and then tried to blame it on Rocky.  Hilarity reportedly ensued, as Rock got mad before finally being let in on the joke.
   
  If I know my MTV, the show will be replayed somewhere between 11 and 18 times over the next week or two, so keep an eye out for it, if you want.
   
  
• Speaking of the Rock...
   
  Last weekend (May 1), "Walking Tall" was down to $1.5 million at the box office, only good for 14th place.  This past weekend (May 8), "Walking Tall" was demoted to the second-run houses (your $2 theaters), and dropped out of the top 15 spots (and made less than $1 million).
   
  It's looking like the total haul for "Walking Tall" will come in at less than $50 million, although the movie will almost certainly be profitable in the end, assuming DVD sales take off like they did for "The Rundown."
   
  Regardless, the downward trend of Rock's Hollywood appeal continues...
   
  
• I guess there's one last thing to mention today.  It's kind of the worst kept secret in the "IWC" (hey, I think that's first time I've ever used that acronym)...
   
  WrestleLine.com is coming back.  Check it out.  In three days according to the countdown on the splash page.  I wonder who's running it?  Surely not those evil, classless bastards at SportsLine!  I wonder who'll be involved?  I wonder if they'll remember to consult with the guy that was practically carrying that whole damn site before it had its plug pulled?  I wonder, wonder, wonder...
   
  
• That's it.  Hopefully I'll have more in the gas tank on Wednesday, what with Spoilers and the usual slew of midweek newsbites.  Oh, and I ALWAYS bring the A-game on the RAW Recap.  That's tomorrow, folks.
   
  See you then.

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

All contents are Copyright 1995-2014 by OOWrestling.com.  All rights reserved.
This website is not affiliated with WWE or any other professional wrestling organization.  Privacy Statement.