by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

On the other hand, this means I just cut and paste and I go into tomorrow night's SD! not knowing when it's time to just cut bait and lay on the FF button.  Fresh, unspoiled, SD! used to be a rare treat for me.  It's still rare, mind you, but considering how long it's been since SD's been a treat, well...

But why be down?  Maybe this is the week SD! picks it up; RAW left the door open a crack with a middlin' show of its own, so who knows?

And you may consider this your last warning to join me in the Unspoiled Brigade.  You keep going, and you'll be submitting yourselves to detailed tapings reports (and for the first time in a month or so NONE of my smart-ass commentary on shows I haven't even seen yet) for upcoming TV shows.

WWE Sunday Night Heat (and Other Non-TV RAW Stuff)
Taped Monday, Airs Sunday
(Submitted by The nOOb)

Just got back from the Metrocentre, which was like a smokey death trap of sorts.  Let me tell you, alcohol consumption was at an all time high there, and that made these people go crazy (one of them so much that they jumped the barricade during the big melee near the end).  Anywho, here's the Heat results and what not:

 

Dark Match:  Test and John Heidenreich beat local guys Eric Priest and Matt Longtime.  Test, being the first guy introduced, actually got cheered big time, which was pretty surprising.  Guess that's because a lot of people were excited to see RAW.  Heidenreich got the "Who's this guy?" response and the two locals got the "Hey, they're from Rockford!" cheer before nothing.  Still pretty good reaction.

 

Heat(?) Match:  Trish pinned Nidia with very minimal interference from Tyson Tomko after a thrust kick out of nowhere.  Needless to say, the alcohol was kicking in for some of these people and "We Want Puppies" was one of the more prominant cheers of the night.

 

Heat Match:  Matt Hardy (V1-ah) beat Glen Rugby or Ruth Glensburg or some guy.  The poor guy didn't even get theme music, so we all figured he had no chance.

 

Heat Match (Main Event perhaps):  Rhyno beats Val Venis.  MAN ALIVE, Rhyno was getting some huge reactions.  I mean, seriously, it rivaled some of the bigger reactions from Raw.  Interestingly enough, the crowd, after being firmly behind Rhyno for at least 3 minutes, slowly began turning to Val, until Val started acting heelish.  From there, the crowd slowly went back to Rhyno, until the end came, when we had "Let's Go Val" chants battling (and losing) to "Rhyno" chants.  From there, all the chants changed to "GORE!" when Rhyno signaled for the end.  Not too bad of a match, but again, Rhyno was getting a bigger response than I thought he would be getting.

 

Also, as you may or may not have seen, one idiot did jump the barricade during the big Michaels/HHH melee at the end, but he was promptly taken out by security.  Honestly, that's one reason why the WWE probably hasn't brought us Raw for 6 years.  The last time Raw came to Rockford, we had at least 4 people try to rush the ring.  Hopefully, this doesn't set us back another five years.

WWE Velocity/SmackDown Tapings
Taped Tuesday, Air Thursday/Saturday
(Submitted by Adam)

Hey, The Rick. Here's what happened in Milwaukee tonight.

 

Dark match:

 

Orlando Jordan and Funaki beat John Heidenrich and Some Guy (who's name was Bobby Cooper) when Funaki pinned Cooper.

 

Velocity:

 

Josh Matthews is out, followed then by Bill DeMott.

 

Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli beat Billy Kidman and Paul London when Nunzio pinned Kidman.

    - The ending was that Kidman had Nunzio beat down and set up for the Shooting Star Press. Stamboli ran over and cold-cocked Kidman. He wobbled and Nunzio     took advantage for the pin fall win.

 

"The Reflection of Perfection" Mark Jindrak beat Shannon Moore. Jindrak pinned Moore after his finishing maneuver.

 

In Velocity's main event, an over Billy Gunn beat Sakoda. Billy looked to have injured his left shoulder during the match, but it turned out fine later on in the evening.

 

SMACKDOWN!

 

Video opening with what happened last week with Eddie passing out and what not. Then a cut to Kurt Angle on the Titantron saying that as GM he has to make the tough decisions, and despite what happened last week, Eddie will be there tonight, and will be in action.

 

Pyro opening.

 

RVD/Rey Mysterio vs. Dudley Boyz

    RVD comes out followed by Rey Mysterio. Then the Dudleys come out. Part way through the match, Paul Heyman walked down through the crowd and took a         seat at ringside. Paul ended up jumping the railing when the Dudleys were on the ropes, so to speak. He yanked Mysterio down from what was probably going to     be a West Coast Pop. Dudleys got the win, and security chased Heyman to the back saying that he had no business being by the ring.

 

No doubt commercials here.

 

On Titantron: Dudleys in their lockerroom. First, the shot cut in too soon and there was still a crew member in view with Bubba. Then they cut back in to D-Von and Bubba. They open their lockerroom door and let Paul in. He shouts something to somebody in the hallway, calling them a bastard. Heyman asks if the Dudleys are happy that they got the win. They say they are, and Heyman slaps D-Von and tries to slap Bubba. Bubba stops it and starts choking Paul. After Bubba saying that he's saving Paul's life by not letting D-Von attack him, Paul says that he's only trying to give the Dudleys back their life. He said, basically, that so what that they won. They've been winning for 8 years. What has it gotten them? Main events? No, JBL gets those. A WWE title shot for Bubba? No. He went on to say that they don't get the main events anymore because they don't make an impact anymore. Heyman said that the Dudleys aren't the only people on Smackdown that he talks to, and they better pick a victim to make an impact on...even if it had to be Heyman himself...because if they didn't, he'd damn sure find someone to make an impact on them. He then challenged Bubba to call his bluff.

 

Back to the ring: Michael Cole calls for an interview, proclaiming that his guest right now has been named the #1 contender for the WWE Championship for the Great American Bash. JBL's music hits and the limo comes out. Cole takes us back with a video clip. It shows the chair shot at Judgment Day and some clips from last week as well. When they come back, Bradshaw is all smiles. Cole asks him what kind of a man he is to have done that to Eddie last week. Bradshaw stares Cole out of the ring saying that he should never question his manhood again. But, to answer the question, he's a business man. Bradshaw goes off on a rant about being better, smarter, more agressive and seeing what other fail to. That's why he's wealthy, CNBC loves him, and his radio show is the buzz of the industry. He got a great reaction to everything said by the fans. Lots of heat. Ends with him saying that Angle said that Bradshaw could choose the gimmick for their match at Great American Bash. He said he'll take a week to think about it and let us know.

 

Most likely commercials again.

 

Booker T beat Scotty 2 Hotty in what was basically a squash. Limited offense from Scotty. After the match, Booker said that next week there would be a rematch between him and the Undertaker because he's not afraid, Undertaker isn't scary, etc. Lights cut, smoke filled the ring, purple glow. He talked more trash saying it would take more than that to scare him. A ring post fired off a blast of pyro. Booker T's response was "Is that all you got?" The other 3 posts exploded in similar fashion. He said that maybe Undertaker is a little scary, but he'll still beat him next week, etc.

 

On the Titantron was Mordecai. He was talking to the almighty saying that he will do that task set before him of punishing the sinners for their transgression against the almighty. Only thing of note was that he apparently has chosen his first sinner to offer up as a burnt offering, a sacrifice. But, we don't see Mordecai again, so maybe we'll find out who it is next week.

 

Danny Basham is accompanied by Doug Basham to do battle with Eddie Guerrero. Eddie is out in a lowrider and does the customary hydraulics stuff. Just a couple minutes in, Angle's music hits and he rises up out of Mysterio's entrance booth.He said that he was just tipped off to what Eddie was trying to pull. He said that Eddie was going to fake another injury and sue Angle. Angle kicked him out of the ring saying that he won't wrestle again until he signs a waiver releasing Angle of the legal responsibility of Eddie's competing should he get injured again. Kind of a clunky finish to the segment. A Basham ran back into the ring only to be deposited to the outside by Eddie. Angle started to talk again saying "Eddie, if you don't get out of my ring..." he was cut off by Eddie's music playing. They had to re-film Angle's descent back into the box, and will probably voice over a scene of Eddie's face and re-record whatever Angle had started to say. Match was a no decision.

 

Starting out what was no doubt hour two, Torrie Wilson teams with Spike Dudley to beat Jamie Noble and Dawn Marie. Spike pinned Noble for the win following a Dudley Dog which resulted in Noble splashing Dawn Marie too.

 

Three titantrons in a row now:

 

1) Rico and Charlie Haas were talking about the announcement of the Summer Breakout Bikini Contest which will be next week on Smackdown. The contestants are Miss Jackie, Torrie, Dawn Marie and Sable. Miss Jackie is trying on an outfit for next week. We, naturally, don't see it, but we are treated to a nice camera shot of Rico and Charlie through Jackie's thighs. Funny stuff with Rico saying that the color is all wrong and that she should try on the other one. Haas seems intrigued about the "other one". Rico then opens his own rope to reveal a skimpy speedo. Haas gets all "Rico" on us and tells him that the color is all wrong, etc. Basically what Rico had just told Miss Jackie. Rico leaves to try on the "other one" as well. Charlie catches himself asking himself "What am I doing?"

 

2) Cena enters Angle's office. Angle is upset because Cena suggested to someone that the Great American Bash be free for all servicemen/women. Angle says that Cena stole his thunder because Angle was going to suggest that this week. A little ripping by Cena, and Angle reminds us all that he'll be proud to see a frenchman wearing the US Title if is meant Cena's reign was over.

 

3) Chavo comes up to a door with a sign that reads: "Chavo Classic: WWE Cruiserweight Champion" or something like that. He walks in and Classic admonishes Jr. for not knocking on the champ's door. He goes back into the dressing and Jr. knocks on the door. Classic comes out like he didn't know Jr. was the one knocking. Funny stuff. Chavo reminds him that his first title defense is tonight. Classic said that tonight the CW division goes "old school." He also said that Jr. should go out to the ring ahead of him to announce him as the greatest CW champion, etc.

 

Chavo Jr. comes out and does introduce his father, saying that if he had to shockingly lose the title last week, at lease it stayed in the family. He then introduced the "World's Greatest Dad".

 

Chavo Classic beat Akio after some interference from Jr.

 

Backstage/outside (up on the Titantron) the Dudley Boyz are stuffing someone into a trunk. Bubba slams the trunk shut after saying: "That's right. That's right, Paul!" People were obviously supposed to think it was Paul Bearer. The Dudleys drive the car off, and the camera pans down to an urn on the ground. Paul Heyman walks up, smiles and picks up the urn. He kisses it and walks back inside. So, it's assumed that it was, in fact, Paul Bearer in the trunk since it obviously wasn't Heyman.

 

Lumberjack match begins. Dupree is out first. Cena comes out wearing a throwback Milwaukee Brewers road jersey of my personal favorite baseball player of all time: Robin Yount. There are two face sides to the ring and two heel sides. Mr. Angle comes down in his box and sits on the entrance ramp with Luther by the side of the box. The heels on that side of the ring were: Akio, Sakoda, Nunzio, Stamboli, Jamie Noble and Luther. Across the ring, the other heel side was Booker T, Chavos Jr and Classic, Doug and Danny Basham, Mark Jindrak and Teddy Long. The face side of the ring with their backs to the main camera angle were Rico, Charlie Haas, RVD, Rey Mysterio, Paul London and Billy Kidman. The opposite face side, with their fronts to the camera, included Funaki, Orlando Jordan, the Grumpy Old Men (Gunn and Holly), Shannon Moore and Scotty 2 Hotty. Spike Dudley was out there somewhere, but I didn't see him until after the match was over.

 

The match itself was actually kind of an abrupt ending. Cena hit the FU on Dupree for the win. There was plenty of face on heel action on the outside depending on who got thrown where. At one point, Rico did kiss Dupree on the lips when he was on the outside.

 

Cena celebrated and stared down Angle. That's probably where it ends...maybe they included when all of the faces entered the ring...but probably not. Anyway, all of the faces there do enter the ring. Angle has the fans chant "You Suck!" to Angle as his box gets wheeled away. Cena has Milwaukee fans get REALLY loud and calls us rowdy sons of bitches. He broke kayfabe a little and said, still in his thug accent, that his crew, his boys, his family all had his back tonight in the lumberjack match. He said that he loves all the fans and that if it wasn't for the family of fans, he wouldn't be the US champ. He called the night really special to him.

 

If I had to rank things:

 

Biggest Pop: Cena

Biggest Pop for a move: Rey's 619 both the time it worked and the time it didn't.

Best Heat: Bradshaw really got the crowd going.

Best match: easily Lumberjack. Nothing special else really.

Best segment: I'd have to say JBL. I know you don't care for him too much, but if they leave the true sound on Thursday's show after editing, you'll hear how loud it got in there.

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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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