Plus, it gives you the chance to decide for sure if you like what we've done or not. And with your impeccable judgment, that's the most important thing of all.

And also: we've finalized the format sheet for tonight's show. Look it over and make sure you like what we've got planned:

0:00 -- Opening Video Package and In-Arena Pryo/Welcome (4 min.)

0:04 -- John Cena d. Booker T, Rob Van Dam, Rene Dupree to retain US Title (20 min. with intros and post-match)

0:24 -- Kurt Angle forces Charlie Haas into match with Luther Reigns (3 min.)

0:27 -- Sable cuts promo on Torrie Wilson from the Hot Tub (2 min.)

0:29 -- Luther Reigns d. Charlie Haas (10 min. with intros/post-match)

0:39 -- Video Package About  Cruiserweight Title (3 min.)

0:42 -- Rey Mysterio d. Chavo Guerrero to retain CW Title (25 min. with intros and post-match)

1:07 -- Hot Tub Segment with Torrie Wilson and Bickering Cruisers (3 min.)

1:10 -- Kenzo Suzuki d. Billy Gunn (10 min. with intros/post-match)

1:20 -- Paul Heyman verbally berates Paul Bearer backstage (5 min.)

1:25 -- Sable d. Torrie Wilson (10 min. with intros/post-match)

1:35 -- Dawn Marie and FBI make fun of Rene Dupree's Small Penis near the Hot Tub (4 min.)

1:39 -- Mordecai d. Bob Holly (12 min. with intros/post-match)

1:51 -- Video Package about Heyman, Taker, Paul Bearer, Dudleys (5 min.)

1:56 -- Undertaker d. Dudley Boyz, then seals Paul Bearer in Concrete Crypt (20 min. including intros and post-match angle)

2:16 -- Video Package about JBL/Eddie feud (5 min.)

2:21 -- Eddie Guerrero d. Bradshaw to retain WWE Title (25 min. with intros and post-match Eddie celebration)

2:46-2:55 -- Extra time in case segments run long; can also extend Eddie's victory celebration

That's what we've got, Daddy... let us know how you like it!

Steph

He barricaded himself in the media center, saying he needed to get online because "the midget wants JBL." We had no idea what he was talking about, but he was VERY agitated. After several hours, we were able to gain entry to the Media Center through an air duct... shortly after midnight, a decidedly more docile and teary-eyed Mr. McMahon was easily subdued by our staff. 
 
For whatever it's worth, he did not have access to our cable/PPV system, and appears to have spent the night watching a tape of the Disney classic "Old Yeller."

We're not sure what he might have sent you via e-mail over the course of the afternoon and evening, but we're quite confident it was opiate-enhanced raving and nothing more. We are sure you were able to notice his altered state, and realized that his messages could not possibly be taken seriously.

In any case, he'll be making no more visits to the Media Center: we have decided that whatever is causing these outbursts is likely to repeat. We will again rethink our medication strategy to see if we can prevent this "evil midget" from surfacing and inspiring Mr. McMahon to behave oddly, and will also be transferring him to our medium-security wing where he will remain under total lockdown until his treatment is complete.

Mr. McMahon remains completely safe, mind you, and you should be happy to know that he won't be bothering you any further... we apologize for any inconvenience we've caused by allowing Mr. McMahon access to e-mail, and hope it has not adversely affected or distracted you from your important business this weekend.

Sincerely,

Dr. Rosenpenis
Head Guy in Charge, 
The Stamford Clinic