The OOutlOOk
Benoit wins: 6 votes   --|--   Triple H wins: 3 votes

Watching RAW this Monday, I'd completely forgotten that the PPV was going to headlined by this match. The buildup instead went to Triple H/Eugene, which, while equally interesting, wasn't the best idea because Eugene isn't technically a part of this match. But I think that he will be.

Because I have a plan, dammit! I was even going to write a column all about it this week, but then I remembered that I would have to contribute a columns' worth of material to this PPV instead (I'll get around to a real column eventually, I promise. When school starts, things will be different, though.) So here's the condensed version: unless Eugene goes back to being a full-fledged face this Sunday, his character is completely doomed. Perhaps WWE thought that the fans would understand Eugene's "forced heel" status, but no: as an audience, we only tolerate retards when they're lovable (see: Gump, Forrest.) Once Eugene sides with Evolution, no matter how reluctantly, he becomes a full-blown heel in the eyes of the fans. And at that point, he's just a retard, with no fun involved. He becomes, by default, Randy Orton.

Considering how rabidly the fans reacted to Eugene pasting Benoit with a chair, I think WWE will be in a hurry to hit the reset button and turn him face again. Hell, I'd do the same thing. The solution? Eugene interferes on Benoit's behalf (or maybe he tries to interfere for Triple H and botches the whole thing, and thus ends his usefulness to Evolution.) But in some way, shape, or form, Eugene's interference will cause Triple H to lose. This will set two related storylines in motion: Eugene's relationship with Evolution, and Triple H getting kicked out of the faction that he himself started. More on that later.

The match? It should be awesome, as Triple H has been bringing the workrate as of Wrestlemania, Benoit is always a badass, and the house show reports have been very promising -- besides, didn't they put on a great PPV match back in 2000? We've seen nothing but good things in the ring between these two, past and present. Rock on, boys. You can easily steal the show.

But seriously… we all knew that HHH would get the gold back eventually, so why NOT now? He's been a good little trooper for most of 2004, putting over the right people, and giving the rub to others. Plus, his matches have been consistently solid, which is all you can really ask for. The win that basically gave him the title shot (I don't count the Eugene win, even though that was the official one), his win over Shawn Michaels at Bad Blood, was convincing and like him or hate him, HHH *should* be in the main event picture.

Benoit can handle this loss without damaging his persona too much. Plus, the guy's proven he could hang out in the main event with a nice three or four month title reign, so who's to say he wouldn't be back there ever again?

Just a month away from WWE’s second biggest show of the year – SummerSlam – Triple H’s feud with Shawn Michaels is over with, and his rivalry with Benoit has been milked for all its worth. While the time seems ripe to move Hunter into a feud with Jericho, or even Eugene, the only way those programs will get top billing is with the title on the line. So at Vengeance, I expect a 30-minute, intensely dramatic war between these two, that will end with Evolution – and most likely its “newest member” Eugene, helping Hunter get the duke.

Yes, it’s a shame, as Benoit has been nothing short of great in his run as champion, but at the very least, we can be assured of a fantastic main event this Sunday. Triple H has been as much on his A-Game as he has been in years, and is certainly a worthy champion. But he’s not the only one.

So where does that leave these two? Frankly, I don’t know. Isn’t Triple H supposed to film a movie at some point? Doesn’t he have something else to do? But what of SummerSlam? What of this, that and everything else? Well, I say, “Whatever.” It makes my head hurt. Benoit’s improbable streak continues, he loses big time at SummerSlam, then waits another 17 years or so for a rematch.

Seriously: there's been way too much time put into shoving Benoit and the World Title to the background in favor of telling the story of HHH/Eugene. And after the fans crucified Eugene last Monday for acting heelishly, we may not have much more of a window for Eugene getting back in fans' good graces. So no way does this match NOT involve Eugene in some capacity.  And once I reach that conclusion, no way should Eugene's capacity be anything OTHER than helping Benoit to win.  

The OOutlOOk
Orton wins: 7 votes   --|--   Edge wins: 2 votes

Edge falls into the exact same category of wrestler: He's generally solid in the ring and can hold up his end of a great match with a better worker like Angle, Eddie, or Benoit. He's good on the stick, but still lacking that certain je ne sais quoi when it comes to promos. He's over with the fans, but not quite at the World Championship level yet. He's perfect for the IC belt.

When you put two workers like this in a match together, you either get a glimpse at the future of wrestling (Rock/Triple H back in the late 90s) or a train wreck (Edge/Albert in 2002.) I'll give both of these guys the benefit of the doubt and say that the match should be pretty good but not at the 4-star level.

And in the continuing saga of Evolution, Orton will win. It has to be a screwjob ending, and if Monday's RAW is any indication, it has to set up Edge v. Triple H without making Edge's immediate goal a rematch for the IC title. This can be done one of two ways: 1) Triple H himself costs Edge the match, or 2) Triple H orders the rest of Evolution to orchestrate the screwjob ending, and Edge exacts his revenge that way.

My long-term plan for Evolution is a takeover by Orton, and the best way he can do that is to retain his IC belt while Triple H loses to Benoit for the third straight PPV. That belt is a giant feather in Orton's cap, and the Fed has put too much importance on his title reign to make him lose it to Edge in a two-week feud. Orton wins, but Edge moves on to bigger fish.

So he can't win the I-C title here, or else it would give you one title match at SS (unless Orton regains the title quickly). Plus, Orton has a gimmick right now of being a long-reigning Intercontinental champion, so why ruin it here?

I say Edge wins by countout or DQ, maybe because of a run-in by Evolution.

The only other scenario I could see is a no-contest (he gets attacked in the parking lot, Four Horsemen style), but I'm going to Ooficially predict that Edge gets the win here.

Edge is yet to recapture the incredible momentum he had when he was sidelined with his injury a year and a half ago. His ring work has only been slightly above average and his mic work has been rather stale. Edge has a big future ahead of him, but it won’t come at the expense of WWE’s brightest
young star, Orton. Expect another stop added to the Legend Killer tour when Orton pins Edge after 15 minutes of a solid, three-star range match.

Problem is, they introduced this "Edge wants to eliminate all of Evolution" storyline, and a lot of the best ways to advance that would involve Edge getting the win, here. But an out-of-left-field promo on Monday and the possibility that Edge will be starting a feud with HHH after the PPV simply do NOT overshadow the many good and more important reasons for keeping the belt on Orton.

From my "it's gonna have to be a big deal when Orton loses" theory to Erin's "Orton needs to keep the title to cement his position in an Evolution power struggle" to the simple fact that putting some jewelry on Edge is NOT the solution to the treading-water problem he's had since his return...  I just don't see any way Edge wins, here.

Well, actually, I DO see ways Edge could win.  But it'd have to be by DQ or something: in fact, that might even be the best play (to help advance the Edge vs. All of Evolution story)!  Yeah, that'd definitely work... but hell, in the name of keeping it simple, instead of getting into Fantasy Booking mode, let's just say Orton wins. 

The OOutlOOk
Kane wins: 8 votes   --|--   Matt wins: 1 vote

But this is WWE we're talking about here. I fully expect Summerslam to feature a DNA Test on a Pole Match at the rate things are going. I hear that Matt needs surgery, so this is an ideal place to use an injury angle. Lita will be involved too, I'm sure. Since this storyline has been incredibly stupid so far, look for Lita to get caught in the action and lose her baby in the process. We can look forward to weeks of Oscar-caliber performances from her! The match itself should be dull and bloody.

Kane wins. If I think about this anymore, my brain might ooze out of my ears.

I'm going out on a limb here, because this match really SHOULD go to Kane. But if they're serious about pushing the Matt Hardy-Lita-Kane thing - and reports suggest that Lita will be preggers until WrestleMania - then they need to keep this storyline going.

I'm thinking that Hardy gets a fluke win here, loses at SummerSlam in a BIG WAY, and takes some time off to get his neck taken care of. If it's not one of those year-long surgeries, then perhaps Hardy makes his grand return as Lita reaches the final term of her pregnancy. Or maybe I'm just thinking about this angle WAAAAAY too much.

In any event, Matt goes over.

The future of this Kane/Matt/Lita story is not really in the ring; it's in shitty soap opera vignettes that nobody cares about (and which can be done even if Matt's injured and can't wrestle, which is another smark-y kind of reason to think he should lose and do an injury angle here, since he might be facing real life knee surgery). So there's no reason to do anything but the obvious in this match.  And to me, that means giving Kane the win so that he's firmly entrenched and established for his IN-RING (i.e. NOT shitty soap opera) future...  which I'm sure involves the return of Shawn Michaels by summer's end.

Like I said, it might be a fun brawl, or it might be overshadowed by Pregnant Lita Crap, but it'll almost certainly end with Kane on top.

The OOutlOOk
La Resistance wins: 5 votes
Flair/Eugene win: 4 votes

With Flair and Eugene as partner for the night? Comedy GOLD. I can't speak for the workrate, but this match should he hilarious.

I almost busted a gut laughing when Eugene announced the team on Monday, and then Flair had to be restrained from strangling his new ally. I can see a lot more comedy from this team over the next few weeks, even if they end up just winning the match, but not the belts.

But a couple things occur to me: (1) putting the tag titles on a mis-matched makeshift team is NOT the solution to RAW's horrifying tag team scene.  Doing so would, in fact, be another step backwards after they've invested time in making La Resistance seem ALMOST legitimate as champs.  And (2) as alluded to above, I think Eugene getting out from under Evolution needs to come sooner rather than later unless they really want him to be a heel.

So lump me in with the others who think the finish to this will be Eugene doing something that causes Ric to get pinned. And from there, it's really easy to do bits where Flair/Evolution get mad at Eugene, and maybe other skits where Eugene (perhaps with the help of William Regal) realizes that Evolution are NOT his friends, and then make our way to the main event where fans aren't sure of Eugene's motivations but he eventually helps Benoit win the match, and everybody's back to cheering for Happy Fun Eugene, instead of mutinying against Evil Retard Eugene.

Not only is it right for Eugene to make this move now, I also think doing it this way plays quite elegantly into a possible Evolution Power Struggle angle, which has certainly started simmering under lately.  But that's getting off track, and repeating Erin's thesis, anyway...  La Resistance should win, here, for these reasons and many more!

The OOutlOOk
Jericho wins: 8 votes   --|--   Batista wins: 1 vote

1) If everyone in Evolution other than Randy loses, then it gives Orton justification for taking over the faction,

2) Most of my predictions have the heels winning, and

3) I just like Jericho better.

So why do I think he's going to lose to Jericho? Just because I think Y2J has more long-term potential (that Winnipeg crowd on Raw this week finally gave him the face pop he's deserved ever since WrestleMania), and a win over him helps get him to an eventual feud with either Randy Orton, Kane or HHH.

Then again, there’s the fact that Jericho’s a teflon mid-carder: it really doesn’t matter if he loses. He’s never any more than two weeks of wins and promos away from having all his credibility back. And there is the Christian issue. I’m willing to bet that he’s well enough to return to TV and screw around for a few weeks outside the ring before ever having a rematch with Jericho.

So, uh, Christian or Tomko or Trish interfere and cost Jericho the match. Batista gets the win, but not the satisfaction of cheating or winning on his own. Thus, Orton or Flair or someone can crow at him, while Jericho adds another notch on his belt of 35 PPV losses, or whatever it is.

So with that in mind: Jericho beats Batista, as a stepping stone to Orton.

The OOutlOOk

I like how they've started a subtle storyline with Rhyno looking for a tag team partner to defeat La Resistance. If they're NOT planning on making Eugene/Flair champions, perhaps Rhyno will team with Tajiri to face… uh….well, two random wrestlers? Given that I can't think of any random wrestlers off the top of my head, perhaps the ultimate face team vs. face team showdown against Hurricane and Rosey? Hey, it's either that or Tyson Tomko and Coach, for pete's sake!

William Regal will be on hand, if only to congratulate Eugene after his title win. Surely they haven't forgotten about that little angle yet?

Lita will have morning sickness.

Expect at least three of the following people at ringside: Mick Foley, Jimmy Snuka, Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, Randy Savage, Roddy Piper, Andre The Giant (sorry, I forgot to write Vengeance "predictions" in Inside The Ropes this week, so I needed that outlet. Thank you for bearing with me.)

Otherwise, something bad might happen. You know, you get drunk, and you start employing Drunk Logic: “If I can smoke one cigarette now, it will prove that I don’t need to smoke.” Nine hours later, you wake up in a cigarette boat with Joe Camel, the Marlboro man and some WASP from an “Alive with Pleasure!” print ad, because you’re trying to speed into international waters to get seventy-five duty-free cartons of Vantage. And you don’t even smoke Vantages.

What’s this got to do with wrestling? Well, to date all my columns for OnlineOnslaught have been written with the accompaniment of a few beers and smokes. So there will be a necessary period of adjustment between my breaking my bad habits, and returning to this bad habit of a column. Basically, I’m trying to avoid patterns of behavior that encourage backsliding. And now I’m channeling Dr. Phil. Lovely.

Additional Match Predictions: Since this looks to be a card heavy on heel wins, expect one or two matches added, with at least one more face victory.

I figure maybe 2 should do it, since they can also flesh things out with some Bischoff skits, and if I'm right about where they go with Eugene, that'll need some Vignette Time, too.  And dammit, I'm sure we'll be "treated" to some kind of Diva Search crap, too.

So, for two extra matches, here's what I do: one is easy, and we get us a Tajiri vs. Coach match.  Coach was misted on Monday, holds a win over Tajiri on PPV, and it'd be totally in character for him to boldly insist (on Heat) that he wants to teach Tajiri another lesson on PPV.  Match is on, and this time, dammit, Tajiri wins.

And two: even though Trish is hurt, I'm cottoning to the idea of keeping her in the spotlight with devious, cheap wins. BUT, I say save the 4 second matches for RAW... on PPV, we need something a little longer, so I'm thinking you can hide/protect Trish by using her sparingly in a Mixed Tag match.  Let the Lovely Miss Tomko do a lot of work, and have Trish swoop in at the end to score a pinfall.  Only question is: against whom?  Victoria/Stevie would be pretty easy to set up, but I almost think that feud should develop over time instead of being rushed before Trish is well enough to do it up right... so here's what I'd do instead: Nidia wants revenge on Trish, and during Heat, she approaches Rhyno.  Says she knows Rhyno's been looking for a tag partner, and she has a proposition: for one night, they team up and face Trish/Tomko.  And BAM!, you have a halfway plausible reason to kill 8 minutes on the PPV.  By necessity, the finish is ANOTHER of Rhyno's partners letting him down, too, which I think they could use when they pick up the pieces of Rhyno's Partner Search on RAW.

Really, the only other alternative for a PPV match would by Rhyno and a partner vs. Hurricane and Rosey, or something.  Or maybe Rhyno vs. Val in a "Goddammit, You Were a Shitty Partner" match.  Or something.  I do like the idea of Rhyno's Partner Search, though... if only they'd actually go somewhere with it.

On Heat: Molly vs. Victoria, just on the grounds of because I liked what I saw in the three-way on Monday, and I think it'd make a bit of sense to have them want to settle their score after Nidia stole the win on RAW.

See, I AM ever so smart!  You'd like it if things turned out this way, wouldn't you?