Part of me would even love to taunt Dan Rather and CBS over MemoGate, and pontificate loudly that *this* is what Americans get when they start looking for their TV news to be sexy and soap-opera-y and entertaining instead of FACTUAL (in a related development: SportsCenter is almost completely unwatchable these days, because IT also refuses to just be what it should be: a fucking SPORTS show); but a bigger part of me knows that as soon as I taunt Dan Rather, I'll do something stupid like get hoaxed into reporting the dubious story that Randy Orton's intellect actually DOES exceed that of a newborn orangutan who has been dropped repeatedly on its head by his alcoholic step father and whose mother really stepped up her crack addiction just in time for Monkey Randall's second trimester.

My only solace would be taken in the fact that I'm quite sure all you Orton Lovers out there would be so happy to hear some good news about yer boy that you wouldn't care that the story was such a blatantly obvious fabrications!  And also, there'd be the fact that, hey, I'm only writing about professional wrestling, and ain't nobody gonna get their panties in a bunch over a mis-reported wrestling story.  Or at least, if they were, there'd be a LOT less websites in this genre.

Anyway, didn't I just say I'm only writing about pro wrestling?  I guess maybe I should make good on that threat.  Here you go (finally):

• Tonight, Vince McMahon makes a "bombshell" announcement on RAW. And although I suspect many will be underwhelmed by said announcement, the fact is, Vince's announcement just MIGHT launch us into one of the most interesting months of 2004.
   
  Or it might be one of 2004's biggest non-stories, when all is said and done.  How's that for hedging my bets?
   
  Actually, the nature of the announcement isn't that mysterious: all signs point to Vince unveiling the "fully interactive" concept for October 19's Taboo Tuesday PPV experiment. What makes it hard to assess the true "bombshelliness" of the announcement are the mixed signals and cynicism (even from those within the company; or at least, at the lower levels of the company) over just how truly interactive the PPV will be.
   
  The show will have all outward appearances of being booked "by the fans," with plans in place to allow fans to vote on what matches they'd like to see in some cases, and to allow fans to vote on what stipulations they might like added in other cases.
   
  If you want a reason why the IC Title picture was so delectably over-populated with last week's Highlight Reel/tag match, well, there you go, Junior: give the fans some realistic options to choose from. Does Michaels get the shot?  Christian a rematch? What of Edge if he's healthy?  Three-way dance? Four-way ladder match?  More ambiguity means More Shit For Us To Vote On!
   
  But then again: will the votes count for anything, anyway? That's the real sticky wicket. Almost NObody honestly believes that WWE would actually feel compelled to just put a couple options out on the table and then abide by the decisions of the fans. Strangely, almost NObody believes that the fans (even the dumb ones) would do much worse of a job than WWE's creative team has done lately, so... LET THE INMATES RUN THE ASYLUM, I SAY!
   
  At the least cynical level, those in the business STRONGLY suspect that WWE will go about its storytelling in such a way that they will "telegraph" what PPV matches they intend to do, and most fans (i.e. the great unwashed non-internet-obsessed masses) will vote along those lines. If it goes down like this, then sure, WWE can claim it was an "interactive" PPV, but they'll have had such a heavy hand in manipulating the vote that it'll hardly matter.
   
  At the most cynical level, there are some who believe that if WWE tries and fails with its "manipulate the vote" campaign, then they'd outright lie about voting. And trust me, a company that has various clauses in its rules for an actual $250,000 contest that allows it to rig its voting probably wouldn't have any scruples about telling the fans to go fuck themselves on an ostensibly "audience-booked" PPV.  I honestly think that this suspicion is dead-on in terms of WWE being WILLING to do it; whether or not we should actually be dreading that it will come to pass?  Not sure.  I actually think WWE would like to play this as straight as possible, but if the fans do something crazy, if WWE gets some completely unplanned outcome in World Title voting and Randy Orton doesn't even finish in the top three, well, we might see the fix be in.
   
  And THAT is what makes this thing so potentially interesting.
   
  You see, there has been growing sentiment among OO readers for months that I'm somehow losing my "Rick-ness," that I'm becoming just another Internet Jack-Off who can only find fault, can only appreciate Benoit, etc., etc., etc....  and I resent that.  If you can adequately explain to me how RAW the last two months is anywhere NEAR as entertaining as it was this past winter and spring, fine, I'd say maybe I need to sit down, start drinking on Mondays, and just enjoy the damned show instead of looking for faults.
   
  But you can't tell me that. Not earnestly and seriously. Because for you to be reading this, you have to have at least SOME Internet Jack-Off tendencies. And that means to you, all this Kane/Lita bullshit and the missed opportunity of Randall Orton's Main Event push have to be at least KIND of disappointing. And that means to you, this can't be the same show that it was just six months ago when every Monday night was a freaking kick-ass effort.  And to me? Well, that means I have no particular responsibility to be sugar-coating anything for you people; I did the same thing 2 years ago when Kane and Katie Vick were botching up months-worth of WWE TV. The product rebounded, and so did I. But in the interim, I don't suffer fools (or crap) lightly, and I'm also quite confident I'm right.
   
  Or am I? That's where this interactive thing comes into play. If I'm just an Internet Jack-Off, then everybody will vote for Randy Orton to face HHH at the PPV.  Everybody will vote to demote Chris Benoit into a tag title match with Regal at the PPV.  You'll probably all vote for a Kane/Michaels rematch, and then for an Edge/Jericho/Christian IC Match.  You'll probably vote for Stacy Keibler gyrating pointlessly on the PPV over Molly Holly doing anything other than a cameo on Heat...  err, um, or whatever the Tuesday night equivalent of Heat will be...
   
  Anyway, point is, I look at this interactive thing as a chance to attain some level of vindication. The current direction on RAW is less than enthralling, and I'd love it if I got some tangible evidence that somebody other than me felt the same way. And if, by some fluke, I AM right about some of this stuff, I'd hope WWE would have the balls to take the hint and book this Taboo Tuesday PPV according to OUR whims.
   
  Then again, I know I'm in a tough spot, too: WWE is the one who'll get to tell the stories, and I don't honestly expect them to NOT drop hints as to who you're "supposed" to vote for. And they get to drop hints to an audience about a billion times bigger than mine, so what the hell difference does it make if I'm sitting here advocating sweeping changes?
   
  Maybe I'm already making excuses, too, for the day when Randy Orton vs. HHH Part 2 headlines Taboo Tuesday, in direct violation of my own wishes...  wah wah, I don't have a big enough audience to affect voting.  Wah wah, WWE can just rig the voting, anyway.  Wah wah, I'm still right, because The Rick is never wrong!  WAH~!
   
  Although: I go back to my standard mantra that *I* am the only one in the wrestling universe who GENUINELY has Randy's best long-term interests in mind. Blowing the wad with him against HHH in 4 weeks will pretty much doom him; if he loses that rematch, he's just HHH's bitch, and even if he wins, well, then he's the World Champ again and I think I've pretty well explained the many ways in which THAT is wrong (and it's nothing that jumping out of a cake was gonna fix, either).
   
  The best way to tell this story is to keep HHH and Orton apart, to fucking fix this half-assed story arc so that there's something substantial driving it, and then you can bring them back together in a few months.  They can even still wrestle at WM21, if that's the goal.  But I'm beginning to think that if they do, it shouldn't be for the World Title.  
   
  But there, I'm also beginning to get WAY off track. As I mentioned last week, I've had some long-range Fantasy Booking Ideas start percolating. But this isn't the time or place. This was really just the time and place for me whining about how WWE's Interactive Booking for the next month was probably not gonna end up being totally on the level, or something...
   
  
• In addition to Vince's announcement, the other big story tonight on RAW is the announcement of the Diva Search winner.  Vapid Playmate vs. Red Headed Spaz: who really gives a shit?
   
  You want another reason why maybe it's harder for me to be excited about RAW lately: well, there you go... the afternoon before showtime, and the two things we have to look forward to are (a) Vince McMahon taking 15 minutes to say 5 minutes worth of words about a concept whose actual interactivity may be dubious, and (b) the Diva Search Finals.  Nee haw?
   
  Oh, crap!  And (c) an update on Lita's baby.  Oh man alive, we just might have the Trifecta Of Suck in place tonight, baby! Take everything that I think is stupid and wrong about Kane and Pregnant Lita to begin with, and then add in the fact that this week is shaping up to be one where Lita will be required to attempt The ACTING~!, and you can see where I might have some sand in my vagina over this one before it even happens.  NOTE: it's OK if you want to have Kane act concerned over his unborn offspring, but if you do NOT have him carrying around the decapitated head of Gene Snitsky this week, then you'll have officially robbed the guy of whatever badassitude he might have had.
   
  Or maybe I just wanted to say "Snitsky" again.  
   
  And then FINALLY: we also have a big six-man main event announced: Evolution will face Chris Benoit, Randy Orton, and Shelton Benjamin.  Should be good, actually.  Really good.  So see: I can still get excited when there's something worthwhile on the menu!
   
  It'll also be interesting to see how they handle the match; in Traditional WWE Think, I'd say you have to put Evolution over (and specifically, you have to let Batista get in his licks, because of how weak he looked last week) because last week was a Babyface Week. But now we've got this Interactive Thingie, and the best way to have GENUINE ambiguity over who might face HHH is to let the babyfaces take turns putting one over on HHH.
   
  So I default to my cynicism: WWE wants no genuine ambiguity, and wants no one other than Orton to face HHH, so no one other than Orton shall put one over on HHH, and Chris Benoit may do the job to Batista as part of his one-way ticket back to the tag title scene.  Prove me wrong, WWE.  Prove me wrong.  Oh good LORD, please PROVE ME WRONG!
   
  What else?  Well, as discussed above, the IC Title picture is beefening up nicely.  I remain at (metaphorical) half-mast at the merest hint that Jericho vs. Michaels could be coming up again (and in keeping with my aforementioned Fantasy Plans, it DEFINITELY needs to be forthcoming to accomplish one Very Important Aspect of the plan), and would love nothing more than for Christian and Edge to both be involved, too.
   
  Of course, I have this crippling fear that what happens instead is that the Michaels thing was a one-week tease, and that he'll be back embroiled in a rematch with Kane (not a bad thing, mind you, and a week ago, I was all gung-ho for an extended feud; it's just that now, I have glimpsed Superior Alternatives), and we'll distill down the IC picture to Jericho/Edge/Christian again.
   
  Tag division? Oy, I don't even know.  It seems pretty clear that Benoit/Regal are established as the top contenders to La Resistance's titles, now. Which is depressing for two reasons: one, because it limits Benoit's chances of doing anything OTHER than just pretending to be part of the main event pictures, and two, it pretty much spells the end of Tajiri and Rhyno working anywhere other than on Heat.  Boo!  If I had to guess?  Benoit/Regal take the titles from La Resistance, and then feud with Batista/Flair.  And then Tajiri will remember that he was written off of TV for 2 months because of Batista, and he and Rhyno will surge to the top of the tag division again and unseat Evolution as champs.  And then the wonderful, wonderful drugs will wear off, and I'll remember I'm NOT in charge of WWE....
   
  Women's division? Trish is still the champ, and no single contender stands out above the others, unfortunately. In fact, Stacy Keibler honestly might be in line for a few weeks as the Default Top Babyface in the women's division. It should all be prelude to her failing miserably, but I can see something like following up on her Fluke Win over Molly last week, and before you know it, Trish (evil genius that she is) decides to grant Stacy a title shot (Stacy might even start to believe she can win).  The resulting match wouldn't be any great shakes, but I bet it'd go over pretty well; if nothing else, Trish might actually be a mega-heel for once, since I think most fans cheer for the women based on hotness, and many fans might actually view this as a dead heat... of course, in this scenario, Molly gets screwed, and I'm none too happy that she'll once again get sacrificed up for some Ritual Humiliation without the accompanying Savage Vengeance, but I'm trying to show you people that I *can* come up with ideas that are best for the company as a whole, instead of just for my favorite wrestlers!
   
  I don't know how all those different flavors will mesh together tonight, but six hours before show time, it certainly LOOKS like it'll be an odd mélange. Some stuff that it'd be very fair to expect will suck; some other stuff that oughta be pretty good; and still some other other stuff that might be interesting/instructive about exactly how WWE is going to handle the next month's worth of alleged interactivity.
   
  So check it out. Or, if you still trust me, you can come on back tomorrow for the OO RAW Recap, where (based on feedback I've gotten) I stand little to no chance of duplicating the quality of last week's Recap.  But I'll try, people.  I'll try.  
   
   
• Some TNA notes, really quick.  Well, at least one TNA note...
   
  I caught Impact for the first time in 2-3 weeks on Friday. And for the first week with Impact as TNA's Lead TV Show, they sure didn't do a whole lot to convince me that the show was gonna be any more exciting than the episodes that made me feel really comfortable missing 2-3 weeks worth of shows while I was away on my little vacation.
   
  Where TNA always scored its biggest hits with me was bell-to-bell and not looking like any kind of wrestling you'd see on Monday or Thursday nights.  And wall-to-wall squash matches, and limiting every match on the show to 10 minutes? That ain't gonna cut it in terms of scratching my workrate itch.
   
  Storywise, it seems clear that TNA wants us to expect to see Kevin Nash and Scott Hall on their first Sunday Night PPV in November.  Last I'd heard, it was still in the talking stages, but when you have Jeff Jarrett going on TV challenging Vince Russo to bring in some "Outsiders," well duh, wrestling fans hardcore enough to be investing time in TNA aren't gonna miss that insinuation.
   
  I'm not entirely sure I want to know the question if Hall and Nash are the answer, but in all honesty, I think I'd rather see them than Jeff Hardy, since they'll at least cut some fun promos in between the blown spots.  HA!  I'm only half kidding, seriously!  Also, unlike Hardy, they at least have main event credibility, and I don't chuckle derisively when I contemplate one of them headlining a major PPV.  I may lower my head and shake it, pondering when drove the Time Machine back to 1996 again, but I do NOT chuckle derisively.
   
  Baby steps, TNA.  Baby steps.
   
  On the list of imported talent likely to be at TNA's first big Sunday PPV, I guess you pencil in the Outsiders. I'd be surprised if they didn't get a deal done for Sting (especially since Sting has a new direct-to-video movie out that might benefit from him raising his public profile this fall).  Where Sting goes, maybe Luger follows.  Wouldn't totally surprise me if somebody in the company still thought Toby "Boot Up Your Ass Song Guy" Keith needed to get booked for the show, either.  Who knows?  It's still only a 3 hour show, but unless they only want the people who were buying their 2-hour shows to watch, then they need to expand the roster with some familiar names.
   
  Hopefully, that means some more eventful outings on Impact (Fridays on FSN, or Check Your Local Listings if you don't have a Fox Sports Net regional affiliate) as we head towards the Victory Road PPV in November.
   
  Not TOTALLY sure if this is a permanent arrangement, but OO's SmackDown! Recapper Big Danny T has recently found "Impact" by checking his local listings.  So you at least get a recap of last Friday's show; depending on how it agrees with Danny, we might keep doing this every Monday, as well.
   
  Check out our first Impact Recap.
   
  
• Speaking of wrestling shows I don't exactly go out of my way to watch religiously...
   
  Velocity was moved back to 11pm on Saturday night. The first I heard about it? In The Cubs Fan's recap. If I *was* a loyal viewer of the show, I wonder if I'd have gotten any kind of advance warning...  I'm honestly kind of put out that I didn't know about this last week.  Not because I would have re-arranged my schedule, but just because it's the sort of thing I should know about, right?
   
  Oddly, Heat remained in its 7pm Sunday timeslot, and *that* is the one the Cubs Fan managed to miss. He blamed his DVR, and I know how that can be, so... I think Jeb Lund has also added (or will be adding?) DVR capability soon.  And at the aforementioned Reds Party this weekend, two of my friends had added DVR since the last time I'd seen them.  I'd like to think that, in some small way, I'm making the world a better place by endorsing This Fine Technology and making it easier for people to adopt it.
   
  C'mon, everybody: an extra five bucks a month, and you, too, can Not Watch Crap, and Not Recap Crap!  And also, unlike the rest of those silly chumps out there in TV land, you can never watch another commercial again as long as you live!
   
  
• Jerry Lawler appeared on the SD! brand house show in Memphis, TN, this past weekend.  The appearance was advertised, and still, attendance for the show was less than 5000 paid (which means that Lawler has been a part of local Memphis live events, even in the last few years, that have outdrawn an Undertaker-headlined WWE house show; may I opine, "OUCH").
   
  My understanding is that Lawler didn't interact with any of the SD! talents, but instead did his own little promo/angle distinct from the rest of the show.  Which is probably as it should be.
   
  
• Hulk Hogan's segment for SD! has already been taped (it was done last week in Florida, actually), so you can axe any thoughts that maybe WWE would be getting together some of the alumni for an actual "reunion" (Steve Austin's segment will be taped in California, and Hogan's going to be in LA as well this week, leading to speculation that they might all get together in one room; no dice).
   
  Mick Foley's still part of the hype, and I think you can add Moolah/Mae Young, Stephanie McMahon, and probably Superstar Billy Graham to the list (Graham, probably mostly due to his proximity to tapings in Arizona than to having ever had a lick of anything to do with SmackDown)...  still conspicuous by his absence in any hype for the show: the Rock.
   
  
• Following tapings in the southwest this week, both RAW and SD! brand stars will assemble in Los Angeles for a press conference at the Staples Center.  It'll be the launch of WrestleMania 21 hype, which takes place there next April.
   
  About a half dozen stars from each brand will appear, and I'm sure it'll just be standard fluffery. More important is the fact that WM21 tickets go on sale this Saturday, and are expected to sell out within hours (as this is the smallest venue for a WM in about 5 years).
   
  Also: the password for WM21 Internet Presale tickets will be announced tomorrow, and I've been assured that I should have it for you in my Wednesday update. With the presale password, you will have access to select tickets starting on Friday morning, 24 hours before everybody else.
   
  So come on back for that. 
   
  
• It probably won't be acknowledged on TV, although if it was, it'd probably make for some more-entertaining filler than anything supplied by the Kane/Lita wedding....  but it looks as though Charlie Hass and Jackie Gayda are engaged to be married.
   
  Rico leaves those two kids alone for a few months, and look what happens...  his platonic-but-shapely stylist and his chisled hunk of man-meat of a tag team partner decide to run off and get hitched.  Will Rico never find true love?
   
  Anyway, I don't know if a date is set or anything, but the first reports of the engagement were in this Ottawa Sun article, so I'm sure these reports are reliable.  At least, as much so as anything you'd see on the Evening News.  See how I did that, and brought it back full circle: Feel the continuity!
   
  
• And lastly, thanks to all who sent in the WWE Fantasy Game's salary structure and some thoughts about the rules and so forth.
   
  From the sound of things, it looks like it'd be a pretty easy game to crack; I mean, I wouldn't guarantee victory for myself, but a wise spending of your $20 million fantasy payroll should make it easy to finish in the top tenth or so.  
   
  Just looking at some of the comparatively-priced superstars, there are a TON of really easy decisions to make.  Like: why would you pay for non-wrestling Lita when the same amount of money gets you champion Trish Stratus?  And: how dumb would you have to be to NOT take Rodney Mack and let him rack up Heat Points for you when he only costs the League Minimum?
   
  For whatever it's worth, I *think* the pricing was set a few weeks ago. Although my fear was realized and Randy Orton is vastly over-priced (at $6.5 million, he'd be a third of your payroll), I think that was based on him still being World Champ, where your likely point scoring is much higher; I base this on the fact that JBL is the only other $6.5 million superstar.  I would pay for neither of them at that price; Orton cuz he's not the champ and not eligible for Bonus Championship Points, and JBL because as a mostly-chickenshit heel champ, he's not gonna be making the most of his available bonus points, either.
   
  The $5.5 million stars: Taker, Benoit, Michaels, HHH, Big Show, Eddie, Angle, and Ric Flair.  Flair? He's the one on this list who doesn't belong...  HHH might be a bargain.
   
  The $4.5 million stars: Jericho (between the Highlight Reel and wrestling every week, a STEAL at this price, I think), Kane, Edge, and Batista on RAW.  Cena (would be a steal at this price for the same reason as Jericho, except he's off to make a movie soon), Rey Mysterio, Rob Van Dam, and Booker T for SD!.
   
  At $3.5 million: Christian, Eugene, and Regal on RAW.  The Dudley Boyz, Chavo Guerrero (!!), Rene Dupree, and Spike Dudley on SD!.  Remember how I said that WWE's pricing scheme might be instructive in terms of who THEY think will be making waves on TV?  Seeing Chavo at this salary levels kinda makes me feel good about his chances...  either that, or he's just VASTLY over-priced....
   
  At $2.75 million: La Resistance, Matt Hardy, Lita, Trish, and Shelton Benjamin on RAW.  Paul London, Billy Kidman, and Charlie Haas on SD!...  Trish and Shelton BOTH strike me as steals.
   
  And then everybody else on the active roster is priced at $2.5 million, except for this select group of semistars: Akio, Funaki, Hiroko, Carlito Cool, Mark Jindrak, and Shannon Moore on SD!...  and Palumbo, Mack, Richards, and Tomko on RAW.  They are budget-priced to sell at a mere $1 million each!  I actually think as of late, Mack is probably a nice little pick-up that cheap!
   
  Anyway, thanks again to those who satisfied my curiosity over WWE's pricing. And I hope the rest of you enjoyed hearing about it.  I know there were a few surprises in there for me.
   
  
• That's all for today.  Remember, I'm back on RAW Recap duty, whether you like it or not, so I'll have that tomorrow.  Then Wednesday is news, views, spoilers, and the rest.  Catch you later, kids....