But not so fast! America, for once, has apparently stopped, thought, and realized its earlier mistake!  The great and mighty Son of Oz is still here a month later, and if you ask me, should be for a while to come. Could he even win, after having been eliminationed? I don't know if I'll go quite that far, but wouldn't it be an awesome story? Go Son of Oz, Go! If not you, then how about Bo Allman? Just anybody but that Scott-Stapp-wannabe Constantine! I'm beggin' ya...

Enough. The small-talk and other revelations of my guiltiest of pleasures can wait till after WM Weekend. We've actually got some pretty interesting stuff to cover here today...

• As of this early Friday writing, Hulk Hogan's status for the WWE Hall of Fame and WrestleMania 21 is up in the air. Although Hogan and WWE have a verbal deal for the weekend, Hogan will likely be excluded from the events by WWE following a tumultuous few months of negotiations, posturing, and last-second revelations. Despite the fact that last night's SD! included Hogan in Hall of Fame hype, those tapes were sent to UPN on Wednesday before this latest flare-up, and current thinking is that Hogan is a no-go for the WM PPV, and a toss-up (at best) for the HoF.
   
  Why? Well, perhaps the biggest hurdle that's popped up is the fact that WWE discovered, through back channels, that Hulk Hogan has a handshake agreement to work for TNA should TNA secure a prime time, weeknight TV show (lots more on that in a second). WWE, obviously, has a vested interest in *not* having an acknowledged Hall of Famer working for the competition: better to pull back Hogan's induction, and leave open the option of mocking Hogan for being old and washed up should he and TNA succeed, rather than have Hogan fresh off being acknowledged for his greatness.
   
  At the very least, any plans to include Hogan on the WM21 PPV (where he would have certainly scored a pinfall win over some existing WWE talent, most likely Muhammad Hassan, in an impromptu match) will be off. Sending Hogan to TNA as a Hall of Famer would be bad enough... sending him there with a victory over one of your young stars would be a disaster.
   
  And the revelation that Hogan was considering a job from TNA was just the icing on the cake. In fact, the negotiations that took place directly between Hogan and Vince McMahon were anything but easy-going and cordial, as can be witnessed by Hogan's complete absence from any sort of WM21 promotional work and his outright ominous comments made in the handful of radio appearances he's made where he DOES talk about WM weekend (including talking about wanting to get back in the ring, but that he won't do it "without a contract," with the not-so-subtle implication being that WWE wasn't meeting his demands and that he was leaning against wrestling for WWE). It's been more a grudging sort of acceptance of each other as they've tried to hammer out details, not a friendly back-and-forth...
   
  Going back several months, McMahon had actually envisioned a Hulk Hogan vs. Steve Austin match at WM21, and as recently as a month ago thought that he could seal the deal. But creative differences (read: who would win the match and how) made such a contest all but an impossibility. Many alternatives were thrown to Hogan, who stubbornly refused almost all of them. The final compromise that was reached including Hogan getting a win over Muhammad Hassan.
   
  However, in the last week or so, an alternate scenario was presented to Hogan in which he would not have a sanctioned match with Hassan at WM21, but rather would interrupt a promo, get into a physical altercation with Hassan/Daivari, and (after the requisite Hulk Up) beat the crap out of the two, and get several minutes in the ring to pose and get cheered by the audience. WWE then offered Hogan a nice chunk of change to make 2 RAW appearances in April, leading up to an actual sanctioned PPV match against Hassan at Backlash (which Hogan would win). Hogan actually balked at the non-match at WM, and came back with a ridiculous monetary demand to do the RAW/Backlash deal. It is possible Hogan was trying to force WWE's hand, since he knew they'd discover his dealings with TNA, and wanted his win over Hassan sooner, rather than later.
   
  In any case, that caused more than a bit of prickly heat between Hogan and WWE this past week, and ANOTHER tangential issue only added to it: as many of you know, the name "Hulk" Hogan was a matter of much consternation and litigation, as Marvel Comics believed it held the rights to the name, while WWE believed it should be allowed to use (or at least, LICENSE) the name. You all know my stance: maybe 20 years ago, the word "Hulk" might cause some confusion, but at this point, NOBODY is confusing a green mutant cartoon character with Hulk Hogan, so what's the big deal?
   
  Anyway, for the past year, WWE had been forced to call Hogan "Hollywood Hogan" while the litigation was pending.... suddenly, this past month, they've been allowed to talk about "Hulk Hogan" again. This is because Hogan himself bought the name rights from Marvel Comics, for his own personal use. And Hogan has assigned usage rights to WWE for the purposes of WrestleMania 21 and the Hall of Fame. WWE, obviously, has an intense interest in expanding the scope of that agreement so that they may use the "Hulk Hogan" name on their video catalog, in publications, and the 24/7 on-demand cable service. Hogan again spent the last week or so balking on the deal, not wanting to give WWE rights, in perpetuity, to the "Hulk Hogan" name, and instead insisting on approving their usage on a project-by-project basis.
   
  It's kind of ironic, given the way WWE has bullied guys into abandoning their WWF/E identities when leaving the company, that Hogan is the first man (sorry, Warrior) to so completely turn the tables on them. He now completely owns his name, and holds all the high cards over WWE. Hogan would obviously understand that his primary legacy in wrestling is with WWE (since it also owns the WCW tape library, every single thing Hogan did, the footage is owned by WWE), but as a guy who has perhaps not fully given up on the wrestling business, as a guy who wants to use his name to launch his daughter's singing career, and as a guy who has his own reality TV show coming out next fall, Hogan wants to protect his "brand name."
   
  An aside: one issue that was NOT a problem... WWE was going to let Hogan's daughter, Brooke, sing "America the Beautiful" at WM21. No difficulties there.
   
  All this other stuff, though? With the naming rights, creative differences, and outside chance of Hogan jumping to TNA? HUGE difficulties, and at present, the smart money is on Hogan not participating in *any* WrestleMania weekend activities.
   
  
• That TNA possibility? Perhaps not as far-fetched as you think...
   
  As has been widely reported in the last few days, TNA is actually in negotiations with Viacom (parent company to SpikeTV, which has recently cut-off talks with WWE to renew RAW's contract), and it appears as though the two parties have agreed to a contingency- and incentive-laden deal that will put TNA on SpikeTV this September, and in RAW's vacated timeslot.
   
  I can report that the deal *is* agreed to in principle, but that one major hurdle will have to be overcome: WWE intends to wage a legal battle to keep TNA off *all* Viacom networks, citing a clause in their SmackDown! contract that is essentially a "no compete." The clause forbids Viacom from airing any program that would be classified as a company competing with WWE... it's unclear whether this legal ploy will work, but I know that Viacom's inner circle believes that a judge will rule that the "no compete" clause only applies to programming on UPN, and NOT to any other Viacom networks: basically, once RAW is off SpikeTV, Spike is free to show whatever wrestling company's program that they want. Or so Viacom believes. We'll keep an eye on this as it develops, but I honestly don't think it's gonna be a huge problem...
   
  HERE are where the problems could develop...
   
  First and foremost, Viacom has only offered TNA the "Nitro Deal." For those who don't remember, when Nitro was launched in 1995, everybody (from wrestling gurus to Turner network execs) though it would fail, and fail spectacularly. And because Turner execs wanted to bring the hammer down on Eric Bischoff for all his egregious over-spending (with no real results) over the preceding 2 years, they actually approved his vision for Nitro expecting it to fail so they'd have an excuse to fire him. Nitro was given a 90-day deal by Turner, with everybody expecting it to fail and for Bischoff to be gone by Christmas.
   
  It didn't exactly turn out that way, as Nitro turned into a run-away success story. But the tentative way that Turner launched the show is being mimicked by SpikeTV here a full decade later. Spike will grant TNA a Monday night head-to-head timeslot with RAW (which is still expected to land on USA Network), but will only promise it for 90 days. At that point, Spike will have the options to: (a) renew the Monday slot for another 90 days, (b) renew TNA's deal for 90 days, but move them to another timeslot, or (c) ditch out entirely on TNA.
   
  So, as you can see, this not only represents an amazing opportunity for TNA... it also represents the possible nail in the coffin of the company if they don't perform to Spike's expectations. It's unclear exactly what those expectations are, but given how RAW's current lead-in performs, Spike will probably expect primetime on Monday to draw no worse than the low-to-mid 2's, or roughly 60% of RAW's current ratings. While this might seem reasonable, getting 60% of RAW's audience would mean that TNA would have to more than triple its current weekly audience. And some of you folks wonder how it is that I can be so dismissive of TNA? Well, there you go: an audience that is laughably tiny, and one that includes guys like me who actually do watch the show weekly, but more out of obligation than because it's particularly good. Seriously: most weeks, the only things they got that I care about are (1) Chris Daniels, and (2) Tracy sporting an IQ-loweringly spectacular pair of jeans.
   
  Then again, even as I sit here and subtly make the point that TNA's probably just being handed the rope with which it'll hang itself, I can't shake the notion that this is EXACTLY what people thought 10 years ago when Nitro launched, and TNA is getting EXACTLY the same kind of deal to try to go head-to-head with Vince McMahon. I don't know if that's irony, poetic justice, coincidence, or what, but it's kind interesting, and I guess maybe we shouldn't write TNA off just yet...
   
  Another problem: Spike is insisting on TNA leaving Universal Studios and presenting shows that look more like the WWE product in terms of being held in respectable arenas, instead of tiny TV studios. Spike will be HELPING with the associated production costs, but there's also gonna have to be a substantial outlay from TNA. They hope to be a money making entity, though, as the increased exposure will hopefully increase PPV buyrates and also make weekly house shows a viable option for TNA. And once TNA actually starts doing all the things that a WRESTLING company does (instead of just being a "TV company" that holds tapings every 2 weeks, and does nothing else), they they could also start thinking about having a legitimate home video business, doing publications, or licensing videogames/toys...
   
  But there are baby steps to be taken between going from a twice-a-month TV company to being a serious wrestling company, and out of the gate with Spike, TNA is going to be trying to stick to what they're doing now, mostly as a cost-saving tactic... TNA will run four shows per month: 2 at Universal Studios (where TNA hopes to continue with "Impact" as a b-show on FSN, and where they'll also tape content for what they hope to be an enhanced syndication network), and 2 at larger arenas (where they'll do their Monday show live, and then tape an episode for the following week; this is basically the ploy used by the WWF right when they started 2-hour RAWs).  Of course, there would also be a monthly PPV added in there. But basically, the plan now is to run a bi-weekly Monday/Tuesday schedule (SpikeTV on Monday/Universal on Tuesdays), which allows all their talent to maximize weekend indie bookings, as well.
   
  Speaking of talent: with 3 hours per week to fill up, TNA will finally be able to showcase the talent they do have in top-shelf in-ring action. But they're also banking on big names to draw viewers to the show... as noted above, a verbal deal is in place with Hulk Hogan, and my understanding is that Hogan's contract will be like the SpikeTV contract: incentive-laden and with 90-day rollovers. In this case, Hogan will only commit to TNA for 90 days starting in September, but if the Spike contract rolls over and certain ratings are met, Hogan will be automatically renewed at an increased rate of per-appearance pay. This will repeat for two other 90-day periods, and if TNA is still on SpikeTV in September 2006, the parties will have the option of signing Hogan to a full year at the rate of compensation in the final 90-day period. Hogan's deal calls for a maximum of four appearances per month, with only two of those being in-ring wrestling appearances, which should be more than adequate to cover 2 Monday tapings and a PPV per month; this would only become problematic if/when TNA is fiscally able to go to live Monday shows every week.
   
  When rumors started circulating this week about the TNA/Spike deal, a mysterious "Major Star" was attached to the project, and many thought it would be The Rock, but that's not the case: simply put, the Rock has little or no spare time in his schedule to be putting a wrestling company on his shoulders. For him, the stigma of returning to wrestling is bad enough: returning to MINOR LEAGUE wrestling would be a serious drag on his Hollywood career. And plus: WWE owns "The Rock's" name, and lets him use it only as a courtesy, a courtesy that would be instantly revoked the instant Dwayne Johnson set foot in a TNA ring. 
   
  As outlined above, Hogan owns his own name (much to the consternation of WWE), and also has the kind of schedule that would make regular TNA appearance feasible. Plus: because of his other projects (reality TV show on VH-1, launching his daughter's singing career), he'd view an outlet on SpikeTV with TNA as being as useful to him as he'd be useful to TNA. It's actually a pretty symbiotic relationship.
   
  Much speculation also centered on Sting, but I think he'd continue to only be a sporadic/special attraction for TNA, as his heart is not in the wrestling business at this point. So cool your jets, people: not the Rock, not Sting. Hogan's your Mystery Man.
   
  Since this story broke on Thursday night, the NEWEST speculation going around is that TNA has designs on Chris Jericho, who would not only be a major star, but would be a major star still in his prime (unlike Hogan, Nash, Page, et al) and a major star who can have the kind of **** high-energy matches that could help finally turn AJ Styles or other X Division guys into legit main eventers in the eyes of fans. Jericho, at age 35 and with a good decade left in him, is the kind of guy you could conceivably build the company around, instead of just using him for cheap ratings in the near term. Jericho's WWE contract expires in July, and if he decided to test the waters, he might find TNA willing to pay a pretty penny for his services. Of course, the question is: would they still be around after 90 days to KEEP paying, and does Jericho want to risk the stability of signing another 3-year WWE deal for the chance of being a small pond's biggest fish for 90 days?
   
  Some interesting stuff, here. Assuming WWE's legal challenge flops (and I think that's a safe bet), you can pencil in TNA for a make-or-break 90 days on SpikeTV later this year. As I have all along, I'll be cheering for them... but until I hear more about their logistical plans (to improve production values), their roster moves (getting their hands on a guy like Jericho is at least as important as getting Hogan, I think), and their creative direction (which continues to be pretty bush league, and will also need an upgrade), I'll hold out on being optimistic for them.
   
  
• A little more standard stuff here for a Friday column...
   
  Last night's SmackDown did a 3.2 rating, continuing this year's trend of tepid ratings, even on the "Road to WM." I think this is the first year since I've been cognizant of ratings that there wasn't a bigger WWE audience for the first quarter of a calendar year than for the final quarter of the preceding one.... absolutely NO push for the biggest show of the year, this year.
   
  I'll also restrain myself from making any hugely-involved comments about the show. It was good in spots (how about that Carlito?!?), it was lame in spots (I now officially don't care about Big Show/Akebono).... but there's one item you need to be aware of:
   
  With Hogan/Hassan likely off the WM21 card, WWE will be looking to add at least one match on Sunday. The new frontrunner according to the newest buzz is a Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman three-way....  obviously, London's CW Title win last night was kind of a weak-ass pay-off on his chase for the title, and the thinking is that they'll launch his title reign by giving him a PPV platform against (a) the former champion Chavo, who can demand his rematch, and (b) his former tag partner and the man who he last eliminated from last night's battle royale.  Hey, I think it blows they didn't just tell the story better so that London could win the title at WM21 from Chavo, but this is a more than reasonable alternative.
   
  Pencil it in for your Sunday PPV card: London vs. Chavo vs. Kidman, for the CW Title.
   
  
• One other item from SD!...  and this actually goes back to Tuesday night, where there was a buzz all night that WWE was intrigued by how easily Jerry Lawler stepped into the role as SD!'s color man (Tazz had the night off due to the death of his father).
   
  And now, three days later, WWE is leaning STRONGLY towards making that arrangement permanent: in the upcoming Draft Lottery, WWE is expected to break up their announcer duos in order to pair their two strongest personalities on RAW. The tandem of Jim Ross and Tazz have called the last two Royal Rumbles and have worked well together in those rare cross-brand settings.... meantime, apparently it's not just me who thinks that Jerry Lawler is better suited for a show where juvenile one-liners (witness: John Cena) and eye-candy divas (witness: all SD! girls not named McCool) are the standard.
   
  So look for JR/Tazz to become the signature announce team for WWE... currently, the plan is for Tazz/Cole to call Taker/Orton and for JR/King to call HBK/Angle on Sunday, but if that changes and the crossbrand team of JR/Tazz calls one or both of those matches? Just know that The Rick told you about it first....
   
  In a weird way, Lawler actually had his best night on commentary in a while on SD! last night. His joy at doing some of his annoying-ass old calls -- "Latino HEEEEEEEET!" and Scotty's "worm" among them -- were almost like old friends. And when he called the Booker/Luther match, he busted out his old Booker/convict jokes and pointed them at Luther -- like "He's been in jail? Funny, I kinda guessed that last night when he offered to pay for dinner in cigarettes!" -- it was perversely amusing. It's not like Jerry's material was any better... it was just, I dunno, fresher.... or something.
   
  Morale of the story: look for Tazz and Lawler to swap spots in the next month. Unless something changes in the WWE front offices, this is what they're looking at doing.
   
  
• Something else really quick about the WM Weekend/Hall of Fame stuff....
   
  As mentioned above, Hogan remains a "pick 'em" for the Hall of Fame, just because he's already been publicized heavily for the event, and that's the less harmful-to-WWE appearance should Hogan decide to join TNA... but I've also gotten word from Hollywood (ahhhh, having a brother in the bidnesss!) that WWE has already arranged an alternate for Hogan if they decide to keep him off the event.
   
  Come tomorrow night, Sylvester Stallone may well induct Mr. T into the WWE Hall of Fame (celebrity wing; joining Pete Rose), while Roddy Piper's induction would take over the slot as the biggest and most important one of the year. T has already been contacted by WWE, and is known to be available as the replacement for Hogan, if necessary. For reasons I've already discussed here in OO at length in the last 2 months, I endorse T's induction heartily... having Sly induct him is even better. It's actually perfect, and beats the hell out of WWE's intended Stallone/Hogan induction pairing. Now to just wait 24 hours and see if it pans out this way...
   
  For whatever it's worth, it appears that Hogan's situation with WWE will *not* affect Jimmy Hart, who (according to my latest information) will be inducted into the Hall of Fame no matter what tomorrow night. Hart, of course, is one of Hogan's closest friends and allies in the business, but from the sounds of things, WWE will NOT be taking the crimes of Hogan out on the Mouth of the South. Which I guess is cool... 
   
  
• Something I touched on a week or so back... Marty Jannetty is, in fact, going to be heading to the RAW Roster, but plans for a Rockers Reunion are going to be shortlived.
   
  After a post-Mania run with Michaels, Jannetty is now expected to turn heel... because rumblings out of OVW are that his old "New Rockers" partner Al Snow is training hard and getting ready for an in-ring return.  The current intel says that he'll show up on RAW, where Jannetty will turn on Michaels, reunite with Snow, and the two become RAW's staple heel duo. My guess is that they don't bother trying to channel the lame-ass "New Rockers" but will instead present themselves as dead-serious, with Snow being BETTER than Michaels. Which could not only lead to cool tag matches if HBK finds a partner, but also some Snow/Michaels and Jannetty/Michaels one-one-one matches.
   
  Works for me.
   
  
• Also out of OVW: although the E has a number of women in training in OVW, hoping that they'll be ready to bolster the ring-capable roster on RAW at some point this year, there are designs on creating this year's controversial break-out character -- like last year's debut of Eugene -- and having her be a female.
   
  Kind of.
   
  Buzz around OVW is that Vince McMahon -- emboldened by the success of his "retarded" wrestling character -- wants to tap another niche with another hot-button gimmick: a transsexual wrestler.
   
  The vision: a male wrestler would declare that he wants to become a woman, and would appear on TV pretending to be a post-operative transsexual... this would qualify him/her to compete in the women's division, in which s/he would excel. The hope is that the character would become so popular that s/he would then become a viable contender for MALE titles, and that like Eugene, the popularity would be so intense that fans would cheer for the underdog with the perceived physical or mental shortcomings, and be willing to suspend disbelief when the underdog actually did win.
   
  The reason this has leaked out is because WWE's front office has made it clear that they'd like somebody in the developmental program to volunteer and really throw himself into the character (as Nick Dinsmore did with Eugene)... but so far, the gimmick has just been bounced around OVW, with no one stepping up to take it. The ideal candidate would be undersized/a cruiserweight (so as to not dominate the women's division upon debuting, but still able to believably compete against men), "pretty" and with the perception of being soft or a bit of a wuss, and have long hair.
   
  It's my understanding that if no one steps up and takes this role, WWE will assign it to Tough Enough winner (and undersized, vaguely-womanly pretty boy) Matt Cappotelli. 
   
  I don't know... I wouldn't have bet on Eugene being such a smash hit: I would have bet on it being offensive and stupid. But WWE proved me wrong there. Maybe they *can* make a go of this? But why do I have visions of this one flopping, and Vince desperately deciding to try a heel turn in which Cappotelli has to mince around talking about his carnal desire to get in the ring with big, sweaty men, or something? [On the upside: the big "reveal" can always be that he was lying, and he was never post-operative... he was just a guy who dressed in drag to cop feels on Trish Stratus, and then things got out of hand after that. Or something.]
   
  We'll see how it goes.  I believe WWE's timeframe on this is to debut the character in time to pick up the slack once the Trish/Lita feud peters out this summer. Since lord knows making use of Molly Holly or rehiring Gail Kim is KOOKY TALK when you can go and invent a transsexual contender to the women's title.... yeah, that's entirely more reasonable, WWE.
   
  
• WWE Films has, as you know, completed two films and goes into production with Steve Austin this spring for their third... but according to the Hollywood trade papers, the struggling young production company has also made their first major move, shelling out $1.5 million in cash (and a percentage of receipts) to 20th Century Fox for rights to do a remake of the popular "The Princess Bride."
   
  This is actually one of those movies that I like a little too much (YES, jerkos, it is possible to put "Fight Club" at #1 on your Favorite Movies List, and still like "The Princess Bride"! It's called being Multi-Faceted, LOOK INTO IT!) to think a remake is a good idea... but my understanding is that WWE desperately craved a vehicle for Big Show (who has immense charisma but has never quite developed for the company into a main event wrestler).
   
  Over the last several months, they toyed with ideas for WM movies spoofs for Show, and inevitably, the one role they came up with for him was Fezzik in "The Princess Bride" (as played by Andre the Giant)... they eventually decided there were not any signature scenes in "The Princess Bride" that they could spoof (INCONCEIVABLE!), but the thought that Show could top Andre's performance in that movie lingered...
   
  Fast forward about five weeks, and it has now emerged that WWE has designs on completely remaking the entire "Princess Bride" movie, and was willing to pay the original makers for the right to do so. Presently, none of WWE Films' productions ("The Marine" with Cena, "Eye Scream Man" with Kane, or "The Condemned" with Steve Austin) projects to be a theatrical release, but will instead be direct-to-video... that will NOT be the case with this latest acquisition: WWE craves a 2007 theatrical release, to correspond with the 20th anniversary of the original's release.
   
  Here's an even more fascinating tidbit: based on the overwhelming success of the WM21 movie spoofs, WWE wants to build the entire "Princess Bride" remake around WWE stars, instead of including only one wrestler. Show, obviously, retains the role as Fezzik the Giant, but other casting includes:
   
  Chris Jericho as Westley
  Trish Stratus as Buttercup
  Eddie Guerrero as Indigo Montoya
  Christian as Humperdink
  Edge as Humperdink's Six-Fingered Toadie Whose Name I Forget
   
  Terms have already been reached with the inimitable Wallace Shawn to reprise his role as Vizzini. The scenes with him, Eddie, and Show are already widely expected to steal the movie. And needless to say: Jericho vs. Vizzini should be one for the ages!
   
  One possible twist: my Hollywood brother knows the guy who has been contracted to write the re-make, and he knows that this guy got the job because of his vision to make the re-make a little edgier, but still true to the original... I checked into this, and it turns out that they will frame the movie entirely differently: instead of the Columbo/Wonder Years Kid scenes for bracketing, the remake will tease viewers by having JAKE ROBERTS as the storytelling grandpa; he'll be creepy and evil, and will present the story in a way to try to  convince us that death and dismemberment lurks behind every twist.
   
  But: it won't, and in the end, Jake's mean-spiritedness will be exposed as a sham, and his grandson will enjoy a heart-tugging love story. As will the rest of us. I guess. Not that I need a remake, since the original holds up plenty fine for me.
   
  A quick note for us fans: production will begin on this in late 2005, but because WWE cannot afford to have six major stars off the road for 3 months, there will be a carefully plotted staggered schedule... each individual superstar could miss as much as 10 weeks of road time/TV time, but they won't do it all at the same time; and if all goes well, no more than 2 will be absent in any given week.  My understanding is that it'll be house show line-ups that feel the brunt, as all possible accommodations will be made to allow the stars to make TV, even during their shooting schedules.
   
  Although the "20th anniversary of the original" thing is a nice touch, the real reason the movie won't hit theaters till 2007 is because of the convoluted shooting schedule required to keep RAW and SD! running during the shooting of this movie.
   
  Oughta be interesting... and it's good to see that WWE is developing projects for ALL their guys (and girl), instead of just hammering away at Cena/Austin projects that sound like C-movie crap. It can't be too long before somebody comes up with something for Taker, right? Any ideas, kids?
   
  
• Last thing for today, before I get my ass moving on finishing up the Team Coverage WM21 PPV Preview....
   
  Ummm, I actually don't know quite how to say this....
   
  Did you all, you know, check the date stamp up there?  Or are you honestly *still* confused at this late point?
   
  Because I guess what I'm trying to say is:
  
  April 1, jackasses. You can probably count the true statements in this entire document on one hand, and have fingers left over. OMG~! The Return of an OO Tradition! When you least expected it!
   
  I hope you had it figured out pretty early on. The Hogan thing was designed to "get you," and the rest was designed to make you laugh with an increasingly silly (but hopefully compellingly-presented) series of scams. Seriously... Tough Enough Matt in drag? A Princess Bride Remake? Mr. T? TNA on prime time TV? It's really quite laughable, people! I know you're smarter than that! Aren't you?!?
   
  If not: hey, I'm laughing at you, not with you, so it's all good.
   
  And frankly, I felt so guilty about doing this that I did a pre-ramble designed to tip you off...  c'mon: me and American Idol? None of you are stupid enough to have fallen for that, are you? Although it does raise the question: if I don't give a shit about the show, how come I knew enough details to make an entire convincing pre-ramble about it?
   
  That, my friends, is a mystery on par with "Whatever Happened to Atlantis?".... which of course is a mystery that I fully expect to be solved in 365 days by none-other-than noted Mariner, Tugboat. We'll have the full details right here at OO on April 1, 2006!
   
  See you then!