Of what current event am I speaking? Why today's revelation that Viagra has been shown to cause blindness in

Correlate that with another activity purported to cause blindness, and I figure that there's approximate 1.8 billion different possible punchlines you can go for. So you just go ahead and pick one, and if it's funny, remember that it's technically mine!

I actually got some interesting wrestling topics to cover today: 

• Although it's not the biggest news of the day, we might as well adhere to formula long enough to make a few comments about last night's SmackDown!...
   
  I tried watching it last night when I got home, but when a Haas/Holly vs. MNM match stretched out past 8 minutes, I kinda realized that either I'd end up FF'ing the entire show, or I'd put a brick through my TV. So I opted to wait till I was a little less tired, and I just took SD! down a little bit earlier this afternoon.
   
  But I still ended up laying a HEAVY fast-forwarding on the show. Not just the tag match, but also a ton of the Video Packagery, and then the main event battle royale was BEGGING for about 15 minutes of fast-forwarding until you got down to the final handful of guys. And then: when the final handful of guys included Orlando Jordan and both Bashams? More FF'ing until it came down to the Final Two (and for the second time in six months, Kurt Angle and Rey Mysterio kicked mucho heinie during an extended Battle Royal Closing Sequence). The end result was a show that maybe only took 45 minutes to watch, but those 45 minutes were actually pretty good stuff...
   
  I liked all the Carlito/Morgan/Big Show bits, starting with the Cabana, and then the Show/Carlito rematch, and finishing up with the post-match angle with Morgan putting Show through a table. Throughout all that, we got glimpses of Carlito starting to be semi-condescending to Morgan, but also being so amazing and respectful of Morgan's strength that he's going to stay in line. For now. Will a Morgan vs. Big Show match be a 20 minute classic? No, but I'm thinking that if we must endure Vince McMahon's Big Man Fetish, that these are two who'll make the slobberknocking pretty entertaining. And there's gonna be Carlito on the fringes of it, lending the quality mic work and other chicanery, too.
   
  I definitely liked the last 10 minutes of the Battle Royale. Kurt and Rey would have a hard time ever doing wrong by me. Kurt scored a hit in another way, too: his pre-Battle Royal promo talking about ECW was very intriguing. Much like RAW's Vince/Heyman/Bischoff conclave, Angle's speech was a slightly fictionalized account of real life events, and one that did a sweet job putting some sizzle into the ECW PPV. The intensity of the staredown with Tazz was sweet, for one. And for two, much like Bischoff on RAW, Angle promised to lead selected SD! volunteers to the ECW show and to make sure to ruin it somehow. This works for me because, even to newer/casual fans who don't know squat about ECW, they see these things happening and they realize, "Hey, the next time RAW and SD! guys are on the same show won't be SummerSlam... it'll be at this ECW PPV!". And if that's not a nice promotional ploy, I don't know what is.
   
  The Cena/JBL verbal confrontation actually seemed to be headed better places than most Cena promos.... he kept the "Embarrassing Pandering" Dial down at around 4-5 as he started things out with a cheesy "thank the people" speech. But then he moved on to some more intense stuff, talking (quite reasonably) about how he proved his worth at Judgment Day by bleeding and sweating and never saying "I Quit." It might only be one match, and you can't hang your hat on one match, but if that one match is good enough, you get a One Week Reprieve to pat yourself on the back... and then once JBL came out and tossed his two cents worth in, things picked up even more. I liked the Almost Respect JBL showed by admitting that maybe he couldn't figure out Cena and maybe he'd never beat Cena.... but I also liked the JBL's logic that "But you're still a one-hit-wonder, and my greatness is forever, so no matter if it's a month or a year or 5 years, at some point, that title is coming back home to me, and you'll wonder what happened to your 15 minutes of fame." Of course, after they did all that good stuff, the segment limped home with an extraordinarily unfunny tag in which Cena debuted a "tribute" video which was nothing but JBL saying "I Quit" over and over again. The fact that Cena acted like this was the most clever thing ever -- when, in actuality, it wouldn't even bring the mildest smile to the face of anybody but the mentally enfeebled -- is just another one of those little things that annoys me so much about the guy's on-screen character.
   
  But other than this little trio of highlights, SD! was so easy to just FF, and I didn't feel like I missed a thing. Coming off a PPV, and with roughly two months to reset before the Great American Bash PPV, I guess maybe a lack of sizzle is forgivable... except that with the Draft Lottery starting up in 2 weeks, you'd think they'd still want things to be crackling along pretty good. Instead: not so much.
   
  And underscoring the "not so much" is how they opted to end SD!.... with a revelation that ensures that "not so much" is how much people are gonna get excited for next week's show. Because by winning the Battle Royale, Kurt won the right to have any match he wants next week. So he chose a match against Booker T's wife Sharmell. Holy christ, can't we just move on and pretend all this never happened? Instead, we're gonna reprise the suck? And how's about the delicious irony of Kurt spending 3 minutes talking about the deplorable disgrace that ECW is to the sport of professional wrestling, and then half an hour later, he goes out and demands a match against a girl? Not only do I not care for the entire underpinning of the Angle/Booker/Sharmell feud, but I fucking HATE when the monkeys on the creative team can't maintain continuity for 30 minutes, and via their suckery, make valuable talents like Kurt Angle look retarded. Fie on you, Creative Team Unit. Double Fie, actually.
   
  So: when SD! was good last night, there was a nice mix of action and drama... when SD! was lame last night, you could easily FF and not miss a single important thing (seriously, though: how do you book a week of shows and give Benoit/Tajiri 2 minutes, and give a Haas/Holly tag match upwards of 12?)... and sadly, when SD! came down the home stretch, they opted to end on the rather silly note of Booker T wanting to fight a girl. If the entire Booker/Angle match was predicated on one of them wanting to prove he was a deserving challenger to Cena, how in the blue fuck does Angle not take his Dream Match card and play it by demanding a title shot? Makes. No. Sense.
   
  For a more detailed look at all of SD!'s happenings, I strongly encourage you to check out Big Danny T's SmackDown! Recap.
   
  
• The rating for last night's show? Bounced all the way back up to a 3.4 (from the previous week's 2.8). The likely reason why: no competition. Sweeps month officially ended on Wednesday night with finales for American Idol (OH, THE CONTROVERSY~!) and whatnot. Last night was the first night of the summer doldrums. SmackDown! capitalized by rebounding back up to near its benchmark (when the show's going well, it seems to fluctuate around 3.5).
   
  A secondary reason: a possible bump in interest due to it being the first show after a brand-only PPV. For casual SD! fans (who didn't watch the PPV and don't care enough about wrestling to read the internet), it would have been their first chance to see what happened at Judgment Day.
   
  Of note: I believe SD! was pre-empted last night in New York for Yankees Baseball... so pulling a 3.4 without the nation's biggest market might actually be MORE than a return to form: it might be a sign that SD! could have, without that pre-emption, demolished its usual form.
   
  
• I think today's biggest news is that TNA has run its last national TV show for at least a little bit. Today's Impact on Fox Sports Net concludes TNA's deal with that network.
   
  Boy: that really snuck up, didn't it? Even last week, I was making my comments in terms of "TNA has to get this sorted out in a month." On Monday, I failed to operate the calendar properly, and said TNA had TWO weeks left before their FSN deal expired. D'oh. 
   
  But it's today: the end of TNA on FSN.
   
  And further: the end of TNA on national TV for the near future. The company cancelled next week's TV tapings, and said that it's next live event would be the Slammiversary PPV on June 19. So for at least two weeks heading into what TNA wanted to be its biggest PPV ever, they will have no TV support. Nice planning, there...
   
  This development, and the inability/lack-of-desire by TNA to craft any kind of extension with FSN, pretty much means that the worst kept secret in wrestling is that TNA wants to close a deal with Chicago's Superstation, WGN, to air its programming in prime time. Simply put: you can forget about those SpikeTV dreams, because even if Spike would give TNA the RAW timeslot when WWE jumps back to USA Network in September (which they probably wouldn't), that would leave TNA without any national exposure for over 3 months. 
   
  Then again, maybe I'm thinking too hard, here: "Impact," shall we say, didn't exactly do big ratings on FSN, and TNA's audience is a tiny core of loyal hardcores who would still buy the PPVs in roughly the same numbers, even without a TV show. Maybe TNA could make it 3 months without TV... but again: the prospects of Spike wanting to take a flyer on TNA are slim-to-none, so that's why everybody's putting their eggs in the WGN basket.
   
  As we first talked about over a month ago, the plan, if it can be finalized, is for TNA to run on Monday nights on WGN. The cancellation of TNA tapings through the PPV means that the earliest possible debut for such a show would be June 20... and even without a deal officially announced, there is a serious buzz that TNA will in fact debut their show that night.  
   
  For this to be true, TNA and WGN would already have to have finalized their contract, but this would absolutely NOT stun me, given the seeming incongruity of TNA's announcement of locking AJ Styles and Chris Daniels in to long-term contracts last week. Like I said on Monday: doing that almost made me feel like the company had better know something that we don't, otherwise, the contract extensions didn't make a whole lot of sense.
   
  TNA's own website hints that this is the case, too, with a front page blurb that reads "The next TV taping will follow the Slammiversary PPV." Of course, they could mean that it will follow the PPV 3 months later, I guess, but the implication seems to be that they'll be resuming normal TV business after just a 2 week break. For their sake, I hope so, otherwise this would really strike me as a monumental bungling by a company that's bungled more than a few things in the past 3 years. Even going dark for 2 weeks leading up to a major PPV would be bad enough... staying dark beyond that would represent a pretty major oversight.
   
  Assuming the WGN deal is done, or that it will get done very soon, here are some things to keep in mind:
   
  If the Monday Night Thing happens, the last information I had a few weeks ago was that TNA wanted only a partial over-lap with RAW. Not a true head-to-head, but instead, they wanted a one-hour headstart, and would run a 2 hour show from 8pm to 10pm (eastern).
   
  Under this scheme, it was still undecided whether the show would be live every week or not. Last I heard, they were leaning towards a scheme in which they'd hold back-to-back tapings on Monday and Tuesday, and only have the show be live every-other-week. This was viewed as a compromise between running live every week (and the travel expenses that would go with that), and trying to tape a whole second 2-hour show on every-other-Monday (which would result in a rushed post-live-show taping and likely a dead crowd by the end). Also: for the time being, TNA will keep it's home base at Universal Studios, but my understanding was that the hope is that they can take the show on the road to bigger/more-convincing-looking venues.
   
  WGN is presently available in only a few more households than the combined reach of the regional Fox Sports Net affiliates. TNA will still only be available in roughly half-as-many homes as WWE will (WWE will actually be gaining a few more households by returning to USA in the fall). In this sense, the jump is a wash. The gain is in the timeslot; but the timeslot will mean TNA could be subject to pre-emptions, as WGN has commitments to Cubs Baseball and Bulls Basketball.
   
  All this will create an interesting little exercise when it comes to trying to compare RAW vs. TNA... only one head-to-head hour, huge variance in terms of available households, etc... it'll make it hard to know exactly how TNA is doing, without having a few conversion factors established. Me being me, of course I'll be trying to get the right data so as to make an accurate conversion for ratings, so that instead of just looking at raw data, we can get to the core issue: "Among viewers who have both channels, and thus, have a choice, how did RAW and TNA perform?"... that'll be the interesting issue. Of course, if TNA shows up on Mondays and delivers a raw-data rating on par with what they're doing now, there won't be any reason to bother. Even if they double their current FSN ratings, they'd be lagging pitiably behind, no matter what the conversion ratio.
   
  Which would suck, because the best thing would be for TNA to somehow manage to improve its product to the point that it does draw maybe half of RAW's ratings. Enough to get noticed and taken seriously by WWE. Because that might finally inspire them to get back to paying attention to detail and not having any half-assed off-weeks. It'd also mark the return of "counter-programming," in which the pacing of the old Monday Night Shows would often be dictated by what was on the other channel, and placement of certain matches/promos and ad breaks was done strategically to keep fans from tuning away. It'd be kind of nice to have that attention and effort back from WWE. 
   
  But more importantly: it'd be nice to see that kind of attention and effort from TNA for the first time ever. Because if they get this timeslot locked in, they can't expect to put on a 2-hour version of "Impact" and have anybody give a shit outside of their core group of supporters. TNA has major deficiencies in terms of storytelling/presentation which they will have to fix if they want to compete at RAW's own game: better promos, better angles, and the end to backstage material that looks straight from a cable access wrestling show. What we saw on Impact won't suffice on Monday nights on that front. 
   
  Or the alternative will be to focus on the in-ring product to the point where TNA is something demonstrably different from RAW. Again: this is something that was barely ever in evidence on "Impact" because of the limitation of the one-hour show. But with 2-hours to fill, TNA might finally be able to entice fans with the kinds of matches they couldn't present on Impact. No more watered down, 5-minute exhibitions... the Monday night show will have the time to present full-speed, PPV-caliber matches: those are the things that could distinguish TNA as worth-watching on Mondays, even if they can't compete, straight-up, in terms of "Sports Entertainment." But that said: even if they do start presenting 2-3 kick-ass wrestling matches each week, at some level to maintain a mainstream audience's attention, you need to create compelling reasons for those matches to be happening... so again: that comes down to making improvements in terms of stories and personalities, too. I guess you really can't get away from that aspect, huh?
   
  So I dunno where that leaves us. TNA's going dark, but we don't know for how long. If it's only until Monday night, June 20, that's interesting, but we don't know if TNA has figured out how to put on a sustainably-entertaining program that could realistically compete for WWE's audience. A lot of TNA questions will have to be answered here in the next month or so...
   
  And speaking on behalf of wrestling fans everywhere, I hope that they answer them well.... because it sure would be nice if they got their act together and provided not only an entertaining alternative on Monday nights, but also provided the Inspirado to help keep WWE on their toes. It wouldn't matter what the ratings say when they come in on Tuesdays, because a winner would be us!
   
  
• Even with a possible debut in prime time and a huge anniversary show in June, TNA will only be #3 wrestling company in the country... because ECW's PPV continues to grab the attention of tons of fans. The last-second decision to weave the ECW resurrection into both RAW and SD! storylines will only enhance the broad appeal of the show among all wrestling fans (instead of just among those of us who have first-hand memories of ECW).
   
  And today, WWE took a huge step towards further increasing fan interest in the One Night Stand ECW PPV. They announced the full official talent roster, including five matches.
   
  Here's what we got coming:
   
  Tommy Dreamer/Sandman vs. Bubba/D-Von Dudley
  Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero
  Rey Mysterio vs. Psychosis
  Super Crazy vs. Tajiri vs. Little Guido
  Lance Storm (w/ Dawn Marie) vs. Chris Jericho
   
  And also confirmed as appearing on the card by WWE, but without official matches, yet: Rob Van Dam (w/ Bill Alfonso), Paul Heyman, Tazz, Sabu, Rhyno, the bWo (all three of 'em, so for at least one night, Simon Dean may stop sucking), Spike Dudley, Al Snow, Masato Tanaka, Balls Mahoney, Axl Rotten, Danny Doring, Roadkill, CW Anderson, Mikey Whipwreck, Kid Kash, Justin Credible, Joel Gertner, and the Sinister Minister.
   
  You know what? That's maybe half-an-announced card, but it doesn't matter. Count me in. The five announced matches will all bring something rather awesome to the table. And the mix-and-match possibilities with the rest of the guys is off-the-charts, too.
   
  Storm/Jericho is not just a battle between two guys who started their career as tag partners, it's also likely going to be presented as Lance's farewell match, and it's freaking SWEET that he'll get to contest it in front of an appreciative ECW audience. The match oughta be good, but even just as a nice moment, it should be something special.
   
  Rey vs. Psychosis and the three-way simply both ought to rock the socks off anyone lucky enough to see the show. It will be a special treat for some WWE fans who have never seen Tajiri and Little Guido (Nunzio) get to go at full speed. After one match, you might begin to realize how it is that I can possess such love for Tajiri.
   
  Benoit/Guerrero? If I need to say or explain anything to you about why this rules, you cannot be my friend.
   
  And a Sandman/Dreamer vs. Dudleys match may not sound like a barn-burner, but with the sheer OMG WORKRATE~! of the other four announced matches, you gotta admit that at some point, you're gonna want to get you some old school ECW hardcore brawling. And who better to supply it? And plus, the Fun Factor is gonna be HUGE here. With Gertner announced as appearing, that's a license to print comedy. I'm sure he and the Dudleys will do everything they can to be heels with Top Shelf Pre-Match Mic Work, I'm sure that it won't work, and I'm sure that it won't matter because we'll all be too busy laughing our asses off. And although not announced, if you put Dreamer proximate to the Dudleys, is it wrong to start wondering about Beulah? Or do I just have an unhealthy fixation on Tommy's wife, given how many times I've managed to squeeze her into various bullet points about this PPV in the last month?
   
  Looking at some of the other announced names, here are some thoughts:
   
  The way he's listed, you almost think WWE is expecting RVD to wrestle on the show; RVD himself apparently wants to, but my understanding was that RVD's doctors weren't so sure. I don't know what to think, but even just a token appearance with Fonzie would be fun. Plus, RVD'd probably be healthy enough to hit a move or two, and could maybe be a part of a scuffle against RAW or SD! guys, which would set him up for a feud once he returned full-time.
   
  Tazz is kinda in the same boat: he might want to wrestle, but his doctors might say otherwise. And again, ESPECIALLY after Kurt Angle's promo right in Tazz's face last night, Tazz's best use might be as a guy doing a quick run-in. It bears noting that Sabu's just kinda hanging in the breeze with no announced match, too: he's a guy with extensive history with both Tazz and RVD, so I'm wondering if some iteration of these three won't do some kind of angle at the PPV?
   
  The bWo being listed is another deal where I wouldn't necessarily expect a match, but I would expect a ton of fun with a token appearance. Al Snow and Head could be in the same boat.
   
  Given history, it'd seem a lock that both the teams of Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten and Danny Doring/Roadkill would be reformed for the night, and if so, it'd only make sense that they be put together in a tag match. If I'm not mistaken, it might actually fit to expand it into a six-man, with Masato Tanaka and CW Anderson joining in.
   
  Rhyno and Justin Credible were two of the last ECW World Champions (and Rhyno had actually unified both the ECW *and* the TV Champ at the time ECW folded), which might make them a logical pairing. Although to be perfectly blunt, of all the names listed here, Justin Credible's is the one that does absolutely nothing to inspire my enthusiasm. I'd rather give Rhyno somebody more interesting to work with, but given this list, we don't have much choice...
   
  And from the announced list, that would basically leave us with a Kid Kash vs. Mikey Whipwreck match to finish things up. I'd gladly watch that. Especially if the Sinister Minister is afoot.
   
  Some particularly telling names that are MISSING from WWE's announced list: Terry Funk (Funk, in his mid-60s now, realizes he can only work one of the 2 ECW reunion shows that weekend, and opted to commit to wrestle for Shane Douglas'; in Terry's own words, he doesn't want to embarrass himself by wrestling 2 nights later after what he intends to do to his body in Philly; I'd still love it if he could show up in some non-active capacity, but we'll have to see)... Mick Foley (everybody assumed Mick would be a lock for AT LEAST a non-wrestling appearance; but that hasn't been borne out; yet)... New Jack (for a guy who was reportedly in talks to join the main WWE roster a few months ago to not even be included in an ECW reunion show seems unfortunate; plus, every good ECW show needed a New Jack Moment, either as the save for some Heel Chicanery, or just to spice up some undercard schmozz of a match, like Balls/Axl vs. Doring/Roadkill would be)...  and Steve Austin (considering that Vince made a big deal out of Austin's eye-opening post-WCW tenure in ECW, it wouldn't have been shocking if he'd been penciled in for an appearance).
   
  Of course, WWE might be holding back on us so there are a few surprises the night of the show. And none of us would begrudge them that, I'm sure. At the very least, I'm not seeing the makings of a patented ECW Cat Fight: Beulah is still only on the card in my imagination, and as we'll get to in a moment, Dawn Marie won't be getting into any physicality... we could probably cart Lita out there to reprise her role as Miss Congeniality, except that if I knows me my ECW fans like I thinks I knows me my ECW fans, the deafening "She's a Crack Whore *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap*" chants would be soul-crushing for the poor woman.
   
  I don't know what it says about me (or about WWE's current product), but even at this early juncture, this is about the most fired-up I've been for a PPV all year. The announced card rocks, the announced "also-appearings" have myriad possibilities, and that doesn't even take into account the potential fun of RAW/SD! cross-overs. How upset do you think Vince McMahon would be if One Night Stand ends up as the consensus PPV of the Year? Because what we've seen so far in 2005, that's a very real possibility...
   
  
• As alluded to above: Dawn Marie has been off TV and off the road, and may well be staying that way for, oh, roughly 9 months. She's pregnant.
   
  The ECW PPV could be her own farewell appearance (for a while), too... but there are some who have suggested that WWE might be considering trying to work Dawn's pregnancy into a storyline. I wish I was joking.
   
  So I'll wish WWE's creative team a frontal lobotomy so as to avoid such a horrible idea, and I'll also join all of you in wishing Dawn a healthy and complication-free pregnancy.
   
  
• Ton of e-mail the past few days from people saying "Oh my god, did you hear: Heat and Velocity are getting cancelled?!?"
   
  Um, dum dums, where were you a month ago? That's old news. If you're gonna read OO, then READ OO. This ain't some crap-ass message board or 20-different-little-blurbs-a-day site. Every important story is addressed at the proper time, analyzed in full, and then built-on only if necessary.
   
  In this case, the "cancellation" of Heat and Velocity was a footnote to the WWE's jump back to USA Network, and as such was discussed last month. And not really discussed since. Cuz I thought we'd closed that chapter. I guess it's only closed among those of you with an attention span longer than 10 minutes, though...
   
  So OK, if this is such a big deal, I'll repeat myself: when RAW goes back to USA Network in September, WWE is only getting ONE (1) extra hour of weekend programming on the network. Given how WWE's current 3 hours of weekend programming are performing in the ratings for Spike, this should not be a surprise to any of you.
   
  The one extra hour on USA is tentatively titled "WWE Tonight," and will be of an indeterminate format... but likely it will NOT be brand-exclusive. The B-show concept will continue, but presently, WWE is figuring that they'll be presenting those in syndication, instead of the highlights shows currently offered in syndication. So don't worry: if you simply MUST see Bob Holly wrestle, just check your local listings come the fall. You might have to stay up till 2am on a Saturday night, but you'll get your itch scratched.
   
  There? Everybody happy? Sorry to those of you for whom this was superfluous. Blame the slow kids for keeping the rest of the class from progressing at normal speed... although you realize this gives me an Evil Idea. "OO for Dummies." Except my heart would be crushed when it did more page views than Regular OO... so maybe I'll keep that little scheme to myself for now.
   
  
• Those looking to get their Stone Cold Fix can check out "The Longest Yard" starting in theaters today. Although WWE is only hyping Austin's appearance, there's a bunch of other wrestlers in there, too, including Bill Goldberg, Kevin Nash, and Bob Sapp.
   
  And as it turns out, there's another wrestler in there, albeit one not well-known on this continent. Last night instead of watching SD! before bed, I threw on my recording of "Conan," where Adam Sandler was a guest, hyping the movie... and for his second segment, he was joined by this HUGE Indian guy. [INDIA Indian, not Native American; looked remarkably like Sabu, facially, actually, and also seemed to have only the most tenuous grasp on English.]
   
  Stating that he was 7'2" and 400 lbs., the guy was another bit player in the movie (and was featured in the clip shown by Sandler). And if they were exaggerating his size, it wasn't by much. He was enormous, and built like a power-lifter (not "soft" like Big Show). Of course, even in a tired stupor, my mind instantly decided, "Christ, this guy should be a pro wrestler."
   
  And if I think it, OO Nation is right there to help me out come the next day.... turns out he *is* a pro wrestler, but only over in Japan. He wrestles under the name Giant Singh (his real name is Dalip Singh), and you can get a little more info on him in this article, supplied by a helpful reader.
   
  His appearance with Sandler last night seemed superfluous, but in a lot of ways, I'm guessing that was Sandler's polite attempt to get the guy a little more exposure in this country.... I wonder if WWE was watching? I wonder if they care? For all I know, the mere fact that the guy has been in a wrestling ring could be meaningless.... he might suck out loud. But still: talk about an impressive look.
   
  
• I think that's about enough for today, don't you? It's Memorial Day Weekend here in the States, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's got better things to think about than rasslin', right? At least what I gave you to chew on over the weekend is pretty interesting stuff, by usual Friday Standards.
   
  So my current plan is to get something posted here on Monday, maybe a little bit earlier than usual to accommodate some evening plans... or maybe not. There's still a couple variables up in the air as to what I'll do on Monday or if I'll just stick to my usual routine. But one way or another, I should get a column done. Even if I have to prep it ahead of time or whatever, you don't think I'd pass up a chance to do a RAW preview for Calgary, do you? A chance to tell the entire nation of Canada to relax and quit living in 1997? No way, honey pie: that's all me.
   
  So one way or another, see you Monday... and enjoy the weekend, kids.