And that is that this is the first time in a long time when there's an important match where I (a) don't know who'll win, and (b) I actually

care about who wins.

WWE has simply not tipped its hand AT ALL with regards to what they intend to do at WM22. On a week to week basis, that's created an over-powering sense of water-treading and boredom lately.... there's just no forward momentum to anything, nothing so good, so exciting that you're invested in watching every week to make sure that things get to the Desired Outcome that you can't wait to get here at WM. There is, in short, nothing to cheer for to happen, because looking at current RAW and SD! storylines, there is absolutely nothing happening on either brand that seems to be pointing towards anything particularly special. 

But no matter... the one thing Vince McMahon and WWE take great pride in is making sure they deliver the goods at WM. So even though we've not seen a single indication of what's to come, it's my naive belief that SOMEthing has been conceived of already, and that they won't just wing it a we get closer to April 2.

Which makes NYR a rather intriguing PPV. This is WWE's first chance to tip its hand, to start showing us where top level storylines will go as we enter the fabled Rumble-to-Mania corridor. You have a main event gimmick match with three legitimate potential winners. Who will walk out with the title? And how? And how will fans react to the three men in question? And how will that heel/face alignment play into longer-term story plans?

It's all very interesting, and I legitimately have NO idea how things will play out. But I'm curious to find out, because the implications are HUGE as WWE hits its "playoff season." For all my griping (all if it justified, mind you), NYR has created that marriage of A Match I Care About to A Remarkable Level of Ambiguity and Uncertainty.
 
I'm a sucker for matches like that, where I'm busy being a fan and cheering and booing as I see fit because I actually believe that any outcome is possible.... beats the hell out of 98% of WWE's product the last 20 months or so, which usually leaves you "appreciating" the product, because it is impossible to have a visceral reaction to something you either don't care about or which has an inevitable conclusion.

Of course, that still leaves NYR's other five matches... and while they represent an almost even mix of Potential and Piss-Breaks, you're probably going to be a bit more charitable when you know there's still that one big match yet to come.

New Year's Revolution is -- for me, anyway -- a show that backs into have a perverse sort of intrigue and appeal. WWE is not to be commended for having a chaotic and uncompelling creative direction at this key time of the year... but the gut-feel notion that the Elimination Chamber is finally gonna give us some sense of focus is one I can't shake. It's for all the wrong reasons, but I'm honestly looking forward to that match.

Of course, for WWE, that means that I (and any like minded fans out there) will only be satisfied if said "sense of focus" actually materializes. Moreso than usual events, New Year's Revolution is a show that will be graded almost entirely on the strength of its climax. WWE's got my attention for this match. Here's hoping they make good use of it, and send us home happy.

And on that note, the trOOps are assembled to break down the announced six-match PPV line-up, and to being the 2006 Battle for Prognosticatory Bragging Rights. Here's the Only New Year's Revolution PPV Preview You Need To Read....
 

JOHN CENA vs. KURT ANGLE vs. SHAWN MICHAELS vs. KANE vs. CARLITO COOL vs. CHRIS F. MASTERS
Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Title

Why an Elimination Chamber Match? Well, because apparently this is now the "signature match" for the New Year's Revolution PPV.... in storylines, there was no real build-up to explain this match being whipped out other than "Eric Bischoff said so." In a last ditch attempt to save his job and placate Vince McMahon, GM Bischoff announced the return of the Chamber. Although it would have fit storylines, they never really bothered to spin it as "Bischoff called for the Chamber match because he hates John Cena and wanted to create a match where Cena would have to face five men, thereby reducing his chances of retaining his title." Instead, it was just sort of put out there.... and luckily, the gimmick match is still fresh and exciting enough that a lot of fans won't ask too many questions. 

And why these six men? Well, again, there's no real rhyme nor reason for this line-up... for all intents and purposes, this is a three man match -- Cena, Angle, and Michaels are the only potential winners -- and it's no accident that those are the only three men who are really intertwined in any significant storyline fashion. Angle has been the most recent thorn in Cena's side, actually beating him in many matches (including most recently on Monday night in a non-title First Blood Match), while Angle and Michaels still have yet to settle their nearly-year-long feud over who is the best in-ring performer in the business.

The other three guys were just inserted, seemingly at random. Kane and Carlito actually serve purposes: Kane is the only monster in the match, and as such, he becomes something of a "prop" in his own right (as he was in WM21's Money in the Bank six-way match), just because he can physically do things none of the other guys can, which opens the door for all manner of unique spots and psychology. And Carlito -- though light years away from being a legitimate title threat -- is such a strong and over personality that he can engage the fans either with a bit of chickenshit comedy or by enraging them by sneakily cheating his way to an extended offensive advantage; he's the only guy in the line-up with that capability, too. Only Masters brings nothing to the table. Unless you count the ability to visibly blow spots and put the audience to sleep as positive attributes.

Still, even with 5/6ths of a compelling line-up, WWE did absolutely nothing to bring the six together or create friction outside of the Top Three Guys until the final 3 minutes of Monday's RAW, when they just sort of randomly had all six guys get into a brawl. Angle had just beaten Cena, so Carlito and Masters materialized for no adequately explained reason to join in the beatdown on Cena. But then Kane came out -- for an equally compelling reason -- to save Cena by destroying Angle, Carlito, and Masters. Then Michaels appeared and superkicked Kane. Then Cena spat his last breath and from hell's heart stabbed at Michaels, hitting him with an F-U. It was the only time all six men crossed paths with each other, and I guess it counts as a "win" for Cena.

As long as the match builds logically and focuses on the correct performers, this should be a very strong main event, with a lot of intensity and gimmicky brawling. For those unaware, the match stipulates that two men start the match inside the steel structure of the Chamber, while the other four men are locked into sub-chambers, released at five-minute intervals to join the match. Eliminations are via pinfall or submission only.

We already know that Michaels will be one of the first two men starting the match. We also know that Kane will be the final man to enter the match, at the 20 minute mark, giving him an ostensible advantage over the remaining field at that time. It's entirely possible (especially with a thin, six-match card) that all six men will last the opening 20 minutes, and that the eliminations won't start until that point. Actually: that would be a very smart way to book the match, as Kane's entry at the 20 minute mark could be accompanied by some rapidfire eliminations (bye-bye CFM and Carlito) to make Kane look strong before his own inevitable elimination.

And then, BAM, you're down to the three viable winners... and if the last few weeks has taught us anything, it's that the sheer joy of booing the hell out of John Cena should create an electric atmosphere once things are distilled down to End Game. No matter how the fans respond to Cena, though, if the Final three are Cena, Angle, and Michaels, fans should be really into it. WWE has not tipped its hand at all with regards to WM22 plans (if they even have any, yet), and as such, there will be genuine drama as to who will come out on top. Provided WWE doesnt' do something stupid like try to shoehorn Master, Carlito, or Kane into the final three.
  

TRIPLE H vs. BIG SHOW

If you wanted to be charitable, you could say this feud dates back to WWE's USA Network "Homecoming" show, where Triple H returned to TV after a hiatus and turned on Ric Flair... after doing so, he did a Walk Of Shame backstage, and one of the many guys to give him shit about disrespecting the legendary Flair was Big Show. Show promised that HHH would get his "some day."

Well, then nothing happened for about two months, and more pragmatically, this feud started one month ago, on the night when RAW held Qualifying Matches for the Chamber. Triple H caused Big Show to get disqualified in his qualifying match (the idea being that HHH preferred to face Show's opponent -- Shawn Michaels -- in the Chamber than Big Show himself)... and later in the night when HHH went up against Big Show's tag team partner, Kane, Show made an appearance to attack HHH. So HHH lost, too.

Both men had caused each other's elimination from the chamber, so they were free for the PPV, and thus it was only logical that they agree to do battle.

And from these relatively uninspired beginnings, the two have actually done a very nice job of picking this feud up by the bootstraps and elevating it to something that almost feels like Semi Main Event Status. It started with HHH breaking Big Show's hand at their Contract Signing... HHH thought that he took away Big Show's biggest weapon: the chokeslam. But a week later, Big Show returned to TV sporting a block-like cast on his hand: it turned out HHH just handed Big Show an even bigger weapon, as the cast definitely had magical Clubbering Powers.

Throw in some relatively on-topic promo work (addressing how Show was handed everything when he broke into the business, while HHH studied and busted ass to earn his spot, and stuff like that), and you've definitely gotten a welcome sense of forward momentum after this match seemed to start off as little more than mid-card throw-away material. 

I don't tend to think of HHH as being at his strongest against bigger men; his memorably good matches have almost all come against like-sized or smaller men who are more active and spry than he, allowing him to be the brawling power-man of the match. But I'm not so sure that'll present any serious problems on Sunday. Show's really found his niche as a brawler the past 18 months or 2 years, and I think HHH's legitimately good head-for-the-business should mean they construct a strong psychological basis for the match. They'll brawl commendably, they'll have the block-like cast as a prop, and more than anything, they'll tell a story. Action-wise, it might look lame against an average TNA match, but for some reason, I'm feeling like the prospects are good for an entertaining example of the "WWE Main Event Style."
  

RIC FLAIR vs. EDGE
InterContinental Title Match

Can you believe it's been five fucking months since Ric Flair won the IC Title? And that mean's it's been five months since the IC Title was an even remotely-important part of RAW... what sure as hell felt like it'd just be a token gimmick-run with the belt for Flair has turned into the title almost disappearing completely, as most of the ensuing five months has been spent with Flair feuding against Triple H. And Triple H? Well, he called the IC belt a "mediocre trophy" (yeah, that was real smart, Writer Monkeys) so the title was never an issue in their feud.

Then HHH won said feud at Survivor Series, and it seemed time to move on. To where? Well, that was unclear for a few weeks... until a convergence of factors jump-started an Edge vs. Flair feud.

Around Thanksgiving, Flair was arrested on assault changes in Charlotte, NC, following an alleged "road rage" incident. The ensuing media coverage of Flair's arrest brought to light a few other things about Flair's personal life that were being kept under pretty tight wraps among those in the wrestling community. Much of Flair's summer vacation from WWE was spent addressing divorce proceedings, and also trying to get a disastrous financial situation (between payments to his estranged wife and back-taxes) situated. Nothing that should really be any business of the wrestling fans at home, but once it was splattered all over the mainstream media, it became pretty much common knowledge, nonetheless.

And just as all this was coming to light, Edge was starting a new gimmick (partially to cover for a chest injury that was keeping him out of action).... his new "Cutting Edge" interview segment debuted as a shoot-style, anything-goes deal. On his first night of duty, Edge tore Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young a new one, in a memorable skewering.

And it wasn't long before Edge's venom was directed towards Ric Flair and his troubles. Starting about a month ago, Edge openly mocked Flair for his assault arrest and his divorce, meaning that whatever few fans weren't aware of those troubles were aware of them now. For obvious legal reasons, it would not be wise for Flair to go on TV and address these issues.... resulting in an odd situation.

Edge would mock, and since Flair's been advised not to discuss the issues, he'd have surrogates -- in this case, Michael Hayes and Sgt. Slaughter -- confront Edge. Edge would mock more (stealing Conan O'Brien's "moving lips" gimmick), and Flair would appear, but would remain mute, and just run to the ring to attack Edge. Edge mocked yet again (this time stealing Christian's blond-wig-mockery in a parody video of Flair's Road Rage Incident), and again Flair just came out, didn't say a word, and brawled with Edge.

It's probably about as good a job as you can do with an essentially one-sided feud... but my one complaint would be that the IC Title itself was never an issue in this. Not until a throw-away comment by Edge on this past RAW. And again, I'm not so sure it's a PRODUCTIVE comment; not quite as COUNTER-productive as HHH's claim that the IC Title is a sign of "mediocrity," but Edge essentially voiced the opinion that the IC Title has gone to hell since Flair won it, so Edge wants to win it and restore it to glory. It's a notion that would work better if Flair had (even during his muteness) been defending the title aggressively, and was able to make the claim that there's no glory that needs restoring, because the IC Title is just fine.... but whatever.

Once the bell rings on Sunday, I expect this to be largely character-driven.... for one, a standard Flair-Style Match is always gonna look a certain way. And for two, I believe Edge is still at less than 100%, physically. But if you combine Flair's usual crowd-pleasing antics with Edge playing the biggest dickhead heel possible, and you could see them get the crowd going. Given the "personal" nature of the feud, you might think that an intense, brutal, possibly-bloody brawl would be one way to go, but "WWE Think" probably means they'll put some handcuffs on Edge/Flair so that the Elimination Chamber has the market cornered on blood and ultraviolence. Which is why I guess more "character-driven" and both guys' personalities coming through to engage the crowd. All of which could add up to a fun bit of fluff if it clicks.
  

TRISH STRATUS vs. MICKIE JAMES
Women's Title Match

It's been over 3 months since Mickie James debuted as "Trish Stratus' Number One Fan." From the get-go, though, you could tell that Mickie wasn't quite mentally stable... it seemed like a perfect foundation for a slow-burn feud that would result in Trish's most-convincing challenger in a long time.

And for a few weeks, things seemed to be going that route. Mickie's hero-worship and emulation of Trish created the perfect tone of one-part annoying and one-part disturbing... and then things ramped up another step, as Mickie began taking bullets for Trish and helping her win matches. Meantime, Trish's instinctive creeped-out-ed-ness meant she never really reciprocated or thanked Mickie (in fact, the one time Trish did make an appearance to try to help Mickie out, she caused Mickie to LOSE her match, the exact opposite of the results that Mickie's interference on Trish's behalf had).

From that point, the simmering psycho-ness should have written itself. Mickie, from the start, had always had violent mood swings, and as she became convinced that Trish wasn't probably repaying her "friendship," they should have become more frequent. 

But instead, at that point, things veered off into entirely another direction. Rather than some pre-existing situation between Trish and Mickie dictating their first match against each other, Mickie just won a random #1 Contender Match. And then, instead of there being any hint of Mickie's underlying schizophrenia, any hint that she could be the scariest opponent that Trish has ever faced, Mickie suddenly lost that aspect of her personality, and decided that the only thing she wants in the world is to make sweet, sweet love to Trish.

I am not making this up.

Although, if you subscribe to the Joey Styles School of Thought, the attempted kissing and boob-ogling could also just be a "mind game" by Mickie James. But even if it is, it represents a stupid an unnecessary twist in a storyline that seemed so promising, so straight-forward, so OBVIOUS that it mind-boggling that WWE found a way to screw it up. As I've already written, what made Mickie a compelling challenger/character is that for a while there, you didn't think even SHE knew what she was capable of, and that's kinda scary. And now, all that's gone, and in it's place is either Lesbian Mickie James (which is dumb, since it undermines her heel status among a large percentage of WWE's socially-awkward pubescent fans, and since there's been absolutely nothing else likeable about Mickie so far, that "face-ness" would wear off pretty fast, still leaving her as an obnoxious, clingy psycho who needs a good beating from OOur Women's Champ) or Pretend-Lesbian-Headgames Mickie James (which is dumb, since it means that there is a method to her madness, and if she's doing this on purpose and THIS is the best she can come up with? Well, that's lame).

None of this should stop Trish and Mickie from having a solid wrestling match. It's just a question of how the storytelling/overtones will overshadow the action; a big part of what make's Trish's match fun is her ability to invoke the remarkable Trish Sympathy Factor. If this storyline had been told correctly, the Sympathy Factor could have been off the charts.... but if they screw around and waste five minutes of this match with the most devastating threat to Trish being that Mickie keeps coming up with excuses to grope Trish, well... not only will there be little sympathy for Trish, but I'm guessing a large percentage of the idiot fans out there who actually think that Jerry Lawler has a mature grasp on sexuality might even turn against Trish. I'm not joking. And I'm not looking forward to it.

Best case scenario: the first time Mickie James goes for a cheap grope, Trish just says "Fuck this," and plants an open mouth kiss on Mickie. Kind of a "If you *really* want to do this, let's do it right. But since I know you don't, and this is all just some kind of headgame, I just wanted to let you know: mission not accomplished, nutso. Now let's wrestle." No more Lesbian Mickie, no more stupidity, and Trish gets the cheap pop, and then the sooner you bring back unstable, prone-to-mood-swings Mickie, the better the match will be...
  

GREGORY HELMS vs. JERRY LAWLER

The story, the whole story, and nothing but the story:

Gregory Helms pretended that Jerry Lawler was going around saying bad things about him, despite the fact that Helms hasn't even seen the light of day on RAW in 2 months... Helms cut an alleged promo on Lawler (but it was only seen by 1% of the WWE audience who bothers with WWE.com "Unlimited")... Lawler pretended like he cared what somebody said on WWE.com, and finally *did* get around to saying bad things about Helms.... so Helms came out to the ring to confront Lawler... after a verbal exchange, Lawler got the better of Helms in a brief brawl... Helms scurried away rather than fight... Lawler challenged Helms to a PPV match.

And nobody gave a shit.

FIN.
  

VICTORIA vs. DIVA SEARCH ASHLEY vs. TORRIE WILSON vs. MARIA THE MIC STAND vs. BOOBIES McTITSALOT
Elimination Bra and Panties Gauntlet Match

More absolute randomness here.

Victoria came up with some flimsy excuse to have a match against Maria this past Monday. Her tenuous grasp on logic and temporal causality would have made even Randall Orton green with envy. But then Victoria took Maria lightly, and Maria got a cheap win. So Victoria's henchwomen joined in for a 3-on-1 beatdown. Well, less a beatdown, and more a "removal of clothing." Because everybody knows that when women are truly angry at each other, their #1 Desired Form of Revenge is always "taking the other girl's clothes off." Or something.

And then, because the one thousand Writer Monkeys sitting at one thousand type writers apparently finally produced a single legible paragraph (albeit not one that made a lick of sense, continuity-wise), Diva Search Ashley came out to Maria's aid.

After the clothesripping brawl, Aging Pervert Vince McMahon cornered Ashley and Maria and told them that he's just had an idea for another PPV match. Which was this match, with all five women involved in the brawl in an elimination-style bra and panties match. Maria and Ashley could not have been more cheerful and enthusiastic about the idea. Huh.

At least fans will care more about this than the Helms/Lawler match, since they'll get their daily recommended allowance of TV-PG T&A. This'll be stupid, but hopefully it'll be short and stupid. And the scenery will be nice, but honestly: anybody over the age of 13 who is genuinely looking forward to this "match" (instead of looking forward to tolerating it) is probably somebody who needs some help. Or at least somebody who could use some pointers on where to find internet porn and how and when to use it so you're not looking for my pro wrestling shows to provide you with erectile assistance.
  

EXTRAS/CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

Just six matches... and although the Elimination Chamber could easily take up the better part of 45 minutes, you've also got two of those matches that simply cannot last more than about 5 minutes (Helms/Lawler, T&A match). Which means there's plenty of room for extra stuff to happen on Sunday.

Here are a few of our crew's ideas....
  

That just about does it for us here today.... you can see who (if any) among us called these matches accurately on Sunday night by checking out the PPV. Or you can save your time and money and wait till a little later on Sunday night for OO's coverage. 

Per custom, I'll have your New Year's Revolution PPV Recap posted at some point proximate to the midnight (eastern) hour. I'll see you then.