Didn't expect The Rick to dust off the keyboard on a "holiday," now did you, huh?
 
Well, in truth, this is a column a couple weeks in the making, so some of the "work" is just tying pre-existing chunklets together into a single coherent piece for you. So that ain't so tough.
 
But then there's the matter of wanting to get one more in under the wire. One more rodeo before the year's end. And one more before the widely-agreed upon End Of The Decade. [Yes, we know there was no Year Zero so yadda yadda yadda, but just zip it, Pointdexter.]
 

• The Monday Night Wars are back.
   
  Kind of.
   
  Sort of.
   
  OK, not really.
   
  But on January 4, 2010, TNA will take its best shot at Monday Night RAW, and the results MIGHT dictate the direction the wrestling industry goes later in the year.
   
  For the record, Hulk Hogan and Friends (i.e. Eric Bischoff's production company) partnered with TNA about 2 months ago, in a move widely presented as Hogan "taking over TNA." It's now taken as granted that there wasn't so much of a change in TNA's finances as something so grandiose might suggest... it's more a deal where Hogan is throwing his name and promotional clout behind the company, and as part of the partnership, money only becomes an issue the more money Hogan generates for TNA... it isn't a matter of Hogan actually having ownership interest or TNA mortgaging the entire company to pay Hogan some ridiculous sum.
   
  At least: not a sum of dollars. He is now an incredibly wealthy man now in terms of TNA Stroke.
   
  All you need to see to confirm that is the way he's been mysteriously absent from TNA TV since his "debut" 2 months ago at a news conference. That's because even in "Camp Hogan," they were telling him TNA was bush league and insisting Hogan demand certain upgrades to the TV presentation before he deigned to appear on the show. The show he fricking "partnered" with. Oy. You can see where this got to be a kind of awkward scenario, with Hogan's actions (staying away and doing nothing) not meshing with his words (we're taking over the wrestling world).
   
  A four-show tour of Australia WAS admittedly a priority for Hogan ahead of TNA, but that concluded 5-6 weeks ago. Now, it seems the move to hold off to a big show on January 4 was done to let Hogan finalize a few major storyline ideas/personnel choices, while Hogan's "people" (Bischoff and Co.) finalized upgrades to TNA's production and facilities (might the ImpactZone finally look like it's NOT trapped in the 80s? could be; the last PPV had made some already noticeable changes).
   
  The resulting two months of "lame duck" booking has -- ironically -- led to a pretty entertaining two month of WRESTLING from the sometimes spastic TNA storytelling machine. AJ Styles "treaded water" as champ, but had great matches; Kurt Angle was allowed to mess around and "make" the incoming Desmond Wolfe; and so on. Through it all, the crap on TNA that made me FF the most is pretty much any time a segment started harping on Hogan and January 4... even if said segments ALSO included Mick Foley (who I think of as a gold standard storyteller, but STILL can't sell me on this being quite as huge a deal as TNA wants it to be).
   
  All that changes on Monday, 1/4, however. Hogan will be there, testing his box office appeal against the WWE Machine. Hogan and Co. will be there with their new vision and new storylines for 2010. How will they perform; give RAW a scare or draw nothing more than they do on Thursday? What choices will they make; do they cement AJ Styles as a real legit champ, or remake the roster with a guy more Hogan-friendly?
   
  It'll be damned interesting to watch play out. SpikeTV gave TNA a full 3-hour timeslot (8pm-11pm, eastern), after TNA merely requested the 2-hour head-to-head slot. It'll be a transformational night if TNA does anything much more than "hold serve" (sustain the 1.0-1.2 ratings range, as they usually do on Thursdays). JUST "hold serve," and I think TNA can hold its head high, albeit with a permanent spot on Thursdays and no hope of regular Monday shows. Less than a 1.0? Will be transformational in another way, I think: it'll show Hogan/Bischoff are peddalling a bum bill of goods to TNA, and his star power alone isn't enough to generate a ratings bang.
   
  Publicly, TNA's trying to downplay the importance of the rating, but seriously: there are three ranges within which the number will fall, and which one it is will be HUGELY important. Well, MOST of TNA is downplaying it... they're presenting it as a one-time thing, and "we just want to put on a good show." Hogan, however, is boasting of instantly tripling TNA's usual ratings, and being an instant threat to Vince's WWE... yikes. Hogan, it should be noted, is also quoted as casually mentioning this as the start of a genuine new Monday Night War, the only person in the mix to do so (the rest are sticking with the "one time experiment" partyline). Maybe Hogan knows something about SpikeTV's REAL plans? Or maybe he's just talking out of his ass?
   
  TNA will be working with pretty much its entire current/as-is roster, minus Cody Deener (who either got axed this week or will be axed soon). Shawn Daivari also asked for his release after being lowballed in negotiations, which is why he got the "fired" briefcase at the alst PPV. The only question mark at this point is Bobby Lashely, who came to TNA months ago, hasn't done much, and has just seen his MMA stock rise after signing with Strikeforce. His ability to do both may have evaporated, and if he's used in a throwaway role on Monday (say: to put over AJ Styles), you'll know that he's done with TNA and focusing on his Strikeforce debut a month later.
   
  Then: Hogan and pals are playing add-on.
   
  Scott Hall and Sean "X-Pac" Waltman are expected to be on hand (Kevin Nash is already there, acting as Hogan's harbinger).
   
  Sting will return.
   
  Ric Flair is supposedly very close to saying "screw my loyalty to Vince" and taking a TNA contract.
   
  Ken Kennedy is trying to figure out if polite-interested back-chatter from WWE is genuine, or just them trying to keep him away from TNA without actually rehiring him. Nobody knows what he'll do at this point but him.
   
  Angelina Love is cleared to return to TNA, and should do so soon. Another slew of indie women will be getting looks as part of TNA's tag tournament dealy, with some sticking around as regulars to keep their women's division strong (even as they deal with injuries to Roxxi and Alyssa Flash).
   
  Most expect Tommy Dreamer to be in TNA the first time he's legally able. With Raven now officially back full-time, you connect the dots.
   
  And of course, the Nasty Boys and Brutus Beefcake and a cast of other Friends of Hogan will be on hand or else I'll be GREATLY disappointed. Or not. We'll see.
   
  In addition to head-to-head with RAW, this special edition of Impact will re-run on Thursday night, where the competition is no friendlier: it'll be head-to-head with the national championship football game. But do consider that rerun in when you make your viewing/recording decisions on Monday...
   
   
  
• WWE counters on Monday with a loaded show of its own.
   
  Bret "the Hitman" Hart returns to WWE in a storyline capacity for the first time in 12 years, as he assumes the role of Guest Host. His comeback was handled about as ham-fistedly as possible: days after the supposedly "secret" agreement was reached, Vince just had to go on TV and tease it in a completely random and out of the blue fashion, because TNA/Hogan caught him with his pants down and he wanted to signal to the world that HE still held the high cards.
   
  Whatever, Vince. A second week with a random/forced mention of Bret, then FINALLY this past week, we got something we could sink our teeth into: Vince announced he'd never let Bret back on his TV show, ever, but was then goaded into doing so by none-other-than Shawn Michaels.
   
  Michaels was Vince's co-conspirator in the Montreal Screwjob, and insofar as anybody still cares about that, should be thought of as a "heel" relative to Bret. Michaels method of getting Vince to agree to something Vince didn't want (but the fans did want) toed that line between heel and face: total ambiguity. On one hand, Michaels took the crowd-pleasing stance that Bret should get to come back. But on the other, the glint in his eye as he promised Vince that "only good things will happen" could be an implication that Shawn and Vince's idea of "good things" involve working together to screw Bret one more time.
   
  In that way, I guess I'm roped in. Big time. There's no half-reasonable way to think a direct sequel to Montreal should happen. It was 12 years ago. Fans have come and gone. The ones who remain have changed. Just picking up the threads on Monday and expecting us to care about "the rest of the story" would be dumb.
   
  But a fresh story using established characters and known backstories is another matter. It lets us acknowledge the past without recreating it, lazily. Bret's departure was a matter of "shades of gray" (yeah, he got dicked, but it was also because he was being a douchenozzle), so having his comeback be the same way? A great idea. Keep it ambiguous... there's backstory here, but that doesn't mean we know what Bret's motivations are here in the Year of Our Lord 2010. Or Shawn's motivations. Or which of them is heel/face. Or how Vince fits in. Or even Taker (he's now on the periphery of this after HBK's Monday promo, just as Taker/Bret was the main WWF Title feud back in 1997 with Shawn on the periphery swooping in for the Screwjob). Or the Hart Dynasty? Who knows?
   
  Which is why I'm excited to be there first hand to watch and see what happens. Oh, did I mention this big RAW is taking place in Dayton, OH? Cuz it is. Tee hee. Originally, there was talk we'd be getting The Rock as guest host, but that fell through (either till later in the month when his movie comes out, r till later in the year to tie into WM26)... I'm almost pleased it did, and that we got Plan B, instead.
   
  Should be a big night, as it is NOT a one-time-only thing. Bret is under contract as a weekly performer through April, which indicates WWE wants him for a full-on storyline for WrestleMania, and then has him for a few weeks afterwards, just in case. As a guy who retired due to concussions and later suffered a stroke, Bret is NOT really eligible to compete in a legit one-on-one wrestling match. But guest reffing? A schmozzy tag match? A non-match brawl setting? All fair game from what I hear.
   
  In addition to Bret on Monday: DX defends the Unified Tag Titles against JeriShow. It's billed as JeriShow's "for real" rematch after the bogus one two weeks ago that has resulted in Jericho's hilarious banishment from RAW. With Bret as host and with his Screwing Fist ready (ew, that sounds dirtier than it should), I see no reason why his rivals in DX should retain the belts. Especially if it means the phrase "Dayton Screwjob" has to enter the rasslin' vernacular! And Jericho is the beneficiary of it!
   
  They'll also be serving up a possible "blow off" match to the Kofi/Orton feud. The two kinda let me down at the TLC PPV, just having a cheap TV Special of a match... maybe -- even though this is now just Free TV -- the spotlight of the "Monday Night War" will result in them turning it up and clicking mightily. Kinda like how Batista and Rey never clicked up until a free match 2 weeks ago. We'll see.
   
  Bret. Unified Title main event. Kofi/Orton semi-main. Should be a damned tight two hours that are hard to screw up. Doubly so since it's likely that John Cena will be TOTALLY ABSENT, due to his Fiesta Bowl duties. Oh man, it's almost like WWE booked this one in Dayton just for me. Begone with you, Superman!
   
  Much like TNA, WWE will learn a little something about where they stand when ratings come out. Without any "competition," Bret should have been good for an easy 4.0+ rating... now with Impact running head-to-head, WWE probably counts a "win" as anything at or above the current 3.4-3.5 range. And if they drop below 3.0, even with the Bret Stunt Casting, then it's a huge wake up call that fans DO view TNA as an alternative and a viable substitute product.
   
  Which WWE does NOT want to believe to be true. Trust me on that.
   
  It may only be for one night... or it may be foreshadowing a new weekly battle... but Monday, January 4 should be a fun night to be a wrestling fan. Head to head shows like it's 1999, but with DVR technology and time-shifting skillz like it's 2010... I'm getting tingly at the prospects of 5 hours of "real time TV" turning into a damned fine 4 hour couch-sitting spectacular!
   
   
• I'm sure you got the gist of my feelings in the TLC PPV Recap, or in my various snarky teaser blurbs the past week or two... but if not: this Sheamus thing has got me as bamboozled as you.
   
  I'm all for fresh and unexpected. But I'm also for stuff making a bit of sense and putting guys in positions to thrive... and Sheamus' WWE Title win fits the former, but not the latter. My own damned opinion.
   
  His chances of holding onto the title for more than a month are slim. He's CM Punk with a funny accent, in that respect. But his sudden push-out-of-nowhere means he actually has LESS chance to recover and survive than Punk did after his mini-runs as champ. It's a tough situation for him to know that, barring a miracle connection with the fans, this is a title reign that may retard his progression rather than speed it.
   
  And it didn't have to be that way. Play the pacing of it different, and Sheamus could have filled this spot soon enough. And if it had to be NOW, then just do the same exact thing, but with a different guy in Sheamus' role. Either Jack Swagger or Miz would have BENEFITED from even a cheap 3-week title reign, by virture of past work on their characters and fans actually buying into them enough to get pissed about them winning the title (and then about what they do in reaction to losing the title). Even Carlito would have been more satisfying as a "shocking swerve" champ, to me.
   
  But that's not how it works in WWE. In WWE, if you rub somebody the wrong way backstage, it doesn't matter how the fans react to you or how much money/ratings you might generate if handled properly. It just matters that you fit in and not rock the boat. Which is what Sheamus had that those others didn't: he friendly with the right people and ain't never pissed anyone off. So dingdingding, he's a World Champ at a time when WWE decided to go of the beaten path for an unexpected titleholder.
   
  Whee?
   
• I told you last time about Shane McMahon's departure from WWE being "effective in January." Not quite. Apparently, he hasn't been in to work for WWE in 2 months or whatever, since he decided he'd be quitting. No need to pop in for work when he'd be the ultimate lame duck, I guess.
   
  Next week now marks the start of Shane being officially able to be employed elsewhere, rather than the end of him going to work at Titan Tower.
   
  Rumors abound that something HAS to be up with UFC or MMA. UFC moved their March PPV to the NIGHT BEFORE WRESTLEMANIA. A dick move to steal buys in an economy where people are NOT gonna spend over $100 in 2 days for PPVs? Or just a simple logistical move to get the UFC show away from the Mayweather PPV fight earlier int he month? Who knows for sure? [I tend towards teh former, but UFC and Spike stepping up compeition between UFC/WWE on Mondays -- including putting a few Fight Night specials up against RAW after TNA gets its try out -- do make one wonder.]
   
  
• It's being taken as read that ECW is dead as far as WWE is concerned, and the Tuesday night show will be rebranded as something else, possibly before WrestleMania.
   
  ECW debuted as its own entity to 3.0 cable ratings, but is now hovering around 1.0. SyFy sees this, and wants to shake things up because they want ratings. WWE sees this, and wants to appease their corporate masters, so...
   
  The move is probably a good one: it will allow WWE to create something of its own, without any stigma about how bad "the new ECW" sucks, and it will allow the name "ECW" to go back to meaning something GOOD. Putting the ECW name on DVDs or merch NOW won't sell jackshit. Resting the ECW name for a year or two, and it can go back to refering to kick-ass ECW, to which WWE still owns the tape library, and from which WWE can still wring pennies once they re-value the ECW brand name back to pre-Vince-fucking-it-up standards.
   
  Tommy Dreamer's emotional farewell last night (complete with cameos by his real-life wife, the on-screen Beulah, and their daughters) may or may not tie into ECW as a brand drying up, but it certainly creates a nice little layer of subtext should they go that route. [Also for subtext: Dreamer "made it" in ECW as a Long Island prettyboy proven tough by Terry Funk. Is that why the now-tough Dreamer let Long Island prettboy Zack Ryder beat him in his last match? Maybe...]
   
  My dream scenario for this "re-branding" was posted to the OO Forums a week or so back. It involves RVD being a surprise part of this "homecoming" title chase gimmick. And if I do say so myself: it f'n RULES.
   
  I quote myself from that post:
   
  There's talk of killing the ECW name and just admitting that the Tuesday night show is some other thing/brand.
  
  Now there's talk of bring back ECW alumni for a "homecoming."
  
  What I want is for the two to be interconnected, and for the ECW name to get a proper send-off, where it can be remembered for the good (1994-1999) and marketed meaningfully in the future in DVDs/etc, instead of being remembered for anything else.
  
  To wit:
  
  Rob Van Dam comes back for one of these Alumni matches. Make it against Zeke. Make everybody assume he's just jobbing and came in to collect a one night paycheck. Have RVD win. Have RVD win the mini Battle Royale. Have RVD beat Christian at the Royal Rumble to become the new ECW Champ.
  
  Then have Rob Van Dam throw down the title, piss all over what a joke ECW has become, and declare that ECW is dead. It's been dead since 2001, but that asshole Vince McMahon decided to keep wringing money out of the good name of something RVD and others built all by themselves. So now, before Vince can assassinate ECW's character any more, Rob Van Dam is driving the stake through the heart of ECW with his own two hands.
  
  ECW is dead. RVD killed it. It was a mercy killing. Have some current ECW guys surround the ring, teasing they're upset with RVD pissing away THEIR dayjob, but in the end, they rip their ECW t-shirts to shreds, and agree with RVD that "Hey, there's talent here, and there's still a timeslot for you. It just ain't ECW. So let's let bygones be bygones, and let ECW die." The fans and ECW roster agree, and we get one last meaningful "E-C-Dub" chant before it's mercifully over. Vince has to scramble after being showed up by the hated Rob Van Dam, but he personally oversees the debut of a new "brand"/philosophy on SyFy the Tuesday after the Rumble, just in time for Sweeps Month.
  
  Alternately: you could do the same thing with Tommy Dreamer, since it'd be cheaper, and less "shoot-y" or embarassing to Vince (who is, of course, never wrong) not to mention it wouldn't remind us all that we actually LIKE RVD and he should still still be on TV if only Vince and his sycophants weren't such ass-hats who'd rather have RVD negotiating with Hogan's TNA... but RVD is the one who birthed the whole "Revival of ECW" gimmick 3-and-a-half years ago. It'd be awesome to have him be the one who kills his own baby. And who does so willingly. Almost happily.
  
  Having ECW die the same way it was born (with a guy throwing down a title and declaring it worthless) would just be too perfect.
  
  Of course: this will never happen. Everybody enjoy Jack Swagger's shocking return to dominance on "Tuesday Night Whuptushy" after VINCE is the one who decides to go on TV and casually announce HE is the one killing that worthless failure of a bingo-hall brand in order to replace it with something ingenius and cutting edge of his own making, instead, suckers!
   
  Am I right, or am I right?
   
  
• Nothing too shocking on the Umaga front... his death last month will go down as a "heart attack," but as we discussed back then, that won't really cut to the core of the causes. Rather, Umaga had just gotten back from that Hogan Tour of Australia, and was telling people he was all set to return to WWE in time for the Royal Rumble.
   
  Now, those people are telling others that they're pretty sure Umaga decided to enjoy a last week or two of chemical bliss before re-submitting himself to WWE's Wellness Policy, and may have enjoyed himself a little too much. Dammit.
  
  
• Still much talk that Booker T could be a returning star to WWE at the Rumble... he all but told TNA to kiss his ass and implied he had an open door to return to WWE when he left there, but then suddenly that talk cooled.
   
  Now, though it was NOT the done-deal/foregone-conclusion Booker made it out to be, the two sides are at least back to talking, and mutual interest in Booker coming back as a full time worker, and most likely as a babyface (at least, to start).
   
  
• TV ratings are starting to get boring, even for RAW... other than the 3-hour Slammy Edition of RAW, every episode since last we spoke netted a weak 3.2 rating for WWE. Until this week.
   
  The string of 3.2 actuall drags RAW's year-to-date average down to a 3.5, after hovering at 3.7 for most of the year until September. Then on Monday, on the strength of a Cena title shot at Sheamus (and NOT on the strength of that pot-addled diptard Timbaland), RAW busted a 3.6.
   
  That's RAWs best since a 3.7 on the night after Cena beat Orton for the WWE Title. And the 3.6 showed serious growth over time on Monday, peaking for the Cena/Sheamus match... when RAW clicks with fans, I think it's safe to say that John Cena is -- mixed reactions or no -- a big part of the reason why.
   
  
• Last bit of news for today, this year, and this decade is a sad bit.
   
  "Dr. Death" Steve Williams passed away yesterday at the age of 49. He had battled and thought he'd beaten throat cancer back in 2004. The cancer had other ideas and reared its ugly head earlier this year, resulting in Williams' untimely demise.
   
  Williams never had a memorable run with the WWF/E, which will always limit his "name appeal" and fame among many fans.... but he was undeniably talented. A skilled college wrestler, he had all the athleticism you could ask for AND freakish size (6'2" and 240lbs legit, and often billed as much bigger). He was as good at brawling in the ring as at grappling, and was an NWA/WCW mainstay during his early career in the 80s.
   
  Just as the WWF of the day could have used him (and in fact, DID court him, I believe), Williams exploded as a major star in Japan. At a time when wrestling as a whole exploded in Japan, to boot. The convergence made it utterly unnecessary for Williams to entertain offers to work for the WWF full-time: he was cashing HUGE checks for All Japan Pro Wrestling, and getting continued sporadic exposure in WCW when he'd pop in there.
   
  As both a singles and as a tag wreslter (with Terry Gordy), Williams excelled for years in AJPW, and if you want to waste an afternoon, you'll do worse than to youtube some of his work from the early 90s.
   
  When the boom phase of puroresu died down and the Attitude Era of US Wrestling was heating up, Williams was finally positioned for his big shot with the WWF... incredibly skilled, with "Vince Size," and with Jim Ross as a close friend and political supporter, Williams was gonna come in as a plain old legit athlete and bad-ass, who would supply Steve Austin with his first major threat to his WWF Title after the 1998 Vince McMahon nonsense ran its course.
   
  Instead, a tournament devised to "make" Williams in the eyes of fans backfired. A legit toughman/boxing context called "The Brawl For All" was designed to let Williams out fight other WWE stars in REAL toughman matches. Except: nobody told Bart Gunn. Lowly Bart Gunn landed a lucky shot in a second-round match against Williams, not only KO'ing Dr. Death, but also causing him to tear his knee in the unexpected fall to the mat. Gunn beat JBL in the BFA finals, but is best remembered for getting HIS ass kicked by Butterbean at WM the following year. In short: nothing good came out of the Brawl For All.
   
  But the worst that came out of it was certainly Williams', who never got a fair shot at a comeback from the WWF upon healing. He had a brief and forgettable stint as Jim Ross' personal enforcer, but then just faded into the sunset. He accepted indie and international bookings, but was neither the star nor the performer that he was prior to the BFA incident.
   
  Williams was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2004, and struggled with it for about a year before decided he was in the clear and able to get on with his life. In the past five years, he continued to take various bookings (his last match was just in October, over in Japan, and in honor of his fallen friend, Mitsuhara Misawa) until it became apparent the cancer was back.
   
  It eventually claimed him for good on December 29.
   
  Not sure how WWE will handle this (they haven't made any official announcement yet), but surely Jim Ross will blog something about his close friend. And as for guys currently in WWE who'd have something to say? Jack Swagger would be your man... Williams spent some time as an unofficial trainer in OVW during Swagger's stay there and was absolutely instrumental in helping him in his early progression from collegiate to pro. While their personas may seem opposites, they really are/were nearly identical in background, size, and skillset, so it's no wonder Swagger could be the one heir apparent to the Dr. Death legacy.
   
  Thoughts and condolences from all of OO Nation to Steve Williams' family, friends, and fans.
   
  
• That's it, folks. I'll see you on the Other Side of the new year. Till then: I sincerely wish you the best for a happy holiday, and that you enjoy it in both a really fun AND totally safe fashion. Later on....