by Adam Gutschmidt
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

- Emanating from The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas

- Your commentators are “High Noon” Monsoon and Bobby “The Silver Spur” Heenan

- Preshow note: I remember going over to my Aunt’s house on Thanksgiving and naively thinking I would see something about the results from Survivor Series on cable.  Needless to say I didn’t but I did see on the Prevue Channel a text ad for This Tuesday in Texas.  It was right above Ch. 2’s info and would show up everytime the channels cycled.  Talk about heavy publicity.  Anyways, I was really puzzled by this mysterious Pay-Per-View and wondered what huge thing happened at Survivor Series to necessitate this show.  To this day, I’m still not quite sure (aside from $) what Vince’s thinking was for this PPV.  But hey that’s Vince for ya.  And evidently he lost so much blood at this past year’s Survivor Series that he forgot what a bomb this show was and now has plans for two Tuesday PPVs later this year.  Oh boy!

Intercontinental Title Match: Bret “the Hitman” Hart (champ) vs. Skinner

Skinner is sporting the one cut-off sleeve shirt.  Somehow that fashion trend never caught on.  Then again, neither did Skinner.  Bret starts off by focusing on Skinner’s arm.  A couple of atomic drops by Bret prompt Skinner to take a breather on the floor.  Bret goes back to working on Skinner’s arm.  Skinner rakes the eyes to turn the tide and then rams Bret’s shoulder into the post.  Skinner uses cheap heel tactic #155 by grabbing the rope during an abdominal stretch.  Shoulderbreaker by Skinner gets 2.  Skinner goes to use his can of chaw on Bret but the referee takes it away, so Skinner uses his gator claw on Bret instead.  If that isn’t classy, I don’t know what is.  Skinner hits his finisher, the Gator Breaker, but only gets a 2 count because of a lackadaisical cover.  Gee, I hope he doesn’t take that attitude when he’s fighting gators.  Skinner comes off the second rope and gets nailed on his way down.  Bret mounts a comeback and hits his Trademark 5 in the process.  Skinner rolls up Bret but only gets 2.  Bret and Skinner brawl on the floor.  Skinner tries going up top again but gets tossed off.  Bret slaps on the Sharpshooter and it’s all over for Skinner.

Bottom Line: Not a bad match that had some actual sound wrestling in there.  Bret was severely lacking opponents at this point though.  Match was a little slow for my liking.  ** ½

- Sean Mooney gets Jake Roberts’ thoughts about his match.  He tells Tunney to trust him that he won’t bring a snake to ringside.  You think he told Vince to trust him when he said he quit drinking?

- Mean Gene listens to Macho Man’s counter thoughts.  You know Savage had over 8 months off from wrestling.  You would have thought that in that time, he would have found an outfit that…you know…matched.

Jake “the Snake” Roberts vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage

Macho runs down and attacks Jake as he is walking to the ring.  Macho gives Jake a mauling in the ring.  Jake crawls outs and decides to just leave.  Savage drags him back to the ring.  Inside, Jake drives his shoulder into Macho’s gut to slow him down.  Jake begins to work on the arm that Savage got snakebit on.  Everytime Macho tries to comeback, Roberts stops him dead in his tracks.  Jake tries for a DDT but Macho rams him into the corner.  Savage goes up top and hits the big elbow.  He covers and gets the 3 count.

Postmatch, Savage tries to hit Jake with the ring bell but the ref stops him.  Jake gets up and gives Macho 2 DDTs.  Roberts pulls a bag out from underneath the ring, which prompts Elizabeth to come out for the save.  Jake hits Macho with a 3^rd DDT.  Elizabeth is pleading for Jake to stop.  Jake grabs her and slaps her to the mat.  Man, talk about your heel heat gainers.  Finally, Jack Tunney decides to waddle out and force Jake to leave ringside.

BL:  Wow, I can’t believe how short the match was.  Those two were having a great match too.  Just as I was getting into it, it ended.  I have a feeling it was probably clipped for the videotape version.  The postmatch stuff was great drama too but I can’t add that into the star total.  ** ¾ (only due to its brevity.  Give these two 20 minutes and you got an easy 4 star + match)

- Mean Gene reprimands Jake for his actions.  Jake threatens to slap Gene but doesn’t in fear of turning face in the process.

The Warlord vs. The British Bulldog

I’d like to tell you to just read my review of their match from Wrestlemania 7 since they had the same match for the entire year of 1991 but I wouldn’t be doing my job then.  Standard power stuff to begin.  Bulldog hits a top rope dropkick.  Back bodydrop by the Warlord.  Harvey Whippleman, Warlord’s manager at the time, lights up a cigar on the outside.  You can tell he hasn’t seen those truth.com ads.  Match moves up the star rating now as Warlord hits a bearhug.  Belly to belly suplex by Warlord is followed up by…stalling.  Huh??  Both guys trade pinfall attempts.  Crowd seems to be sharing my sentiments for this match…stunned silent.  Warlord puts on a full nelson.  Bulldog literally just stands there and barely tries to get out of the hold.  This rivals the Big Show/Kane chokehold from KotR 99 as the most boring drawn-out resthold ever on a PPV.  Warlord, bored himself, just throws Bulldog down since he isn’t trying to submit or break free.  Bulldog mounts a comeback when he boots a charging Warlord.  Delayed suplex (I know the name of that move thanks to Lord Alfred Hayes’ “Call of the Action” segment at the end of Supertape ’92) by the Bulldog gets 2.  Bulldog tries for the running powerslam but Warlord falls on top of him for 2.  Bulldog hits an ugly, and I mean Mae Young ugly crucifix on Warlord for the 3 count.

BL: That was really awful.  I didn’t want to see these two fight for the 6 millionth time as it was.  Then, to make matters worse, they worked this match as if they had never met each other before.  ½ *

- Macho Man, who’s furious over what Jake did to Elizabeth, manhandles Sean Mooney.  Man, this feud just rocked the Kasbah.

Virgil and El Matador vs. “Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase and Repo Man

Match is obviously clipped here as we catch Heenan mysteriously change topics in mid-thought.  Back and forth action between Tito and Repo.  Tito hiptosses Repo to the floor.  Dibiase and Virgil in now.  Sunset flip by Virgil gets 2.  An atomic drop by Virgil sends Million to the floor.  Dibiase catches Virgil with an elbow as he charges.  Repo and Dibiase double-team Virgil in their corner.  Suplex by Dibiase gets 2.  Virgil turns the tide with a reverse neckbreaker.  Hot tag is made to Tito Santana.  Santana unloads on Repo.  Flying forearm by Santana on Repo.  Santana goes for the Pace Picante but Dibiase trips him.  Dibiase throws Santana into the steel steps.  Heels begin to work over Tito.  Santana tags Virgil but “blind” Danny Davis didn’t see it so the heels continue to beat on ol’ Tito.  Finally, Tito makes the hot tag.  Virgil cleans house on both guys.  All 4 men in now.  Sherri tries to nail Virgil with her dreaded high heel but hits Dibiase instead.  Virgil tries to attack Sherri but Repo nails him from behind.  Dibiase covers Virgil and picks up the victory.

BL: Standard tag fare here.  Nothing special yet nothing offensive.  The Million/Virgil feud had run its course by this time.  * ½

- Mean Gene hears Hulk’s delusions about Hulkamania being stronger than ever.

WWF Championship Match: The Undertaker (champ) vs. Hulk Hogan

Undertaker and Paul Bearer stomp away on Hulk before the bell.  Hulk comes back with a double noggin knocker.  Hulk hits a nasty reverse atomic drop.  Props to Hogan as he’s actually learned from his Survivor Series match and picks up the pace here.  As a result, he’s in control.  Clothesline sends Undertaker to the floor.  Hogan and Taker brawl on the floor.  Back inside, Taker takes control which means choke-o-rama.  Taker gets the ropewalk and nails Hogan.  More brawling on the floor, which ends in Hogan getting posted.  Hogan starts to come back.  Taker slips going off the ropes and cracks his head on the top rope.  Taker tries the ropewalk again.  This time Hulk pulls him off.  Hogan begins to Hulk Up as Flair makes his way down.  Hogan nails Flair with a chair and Flair falls on Jack Tunney (who had been sitting at ringside for the entire match).  Flair holds up a chair for the Taker but Hulk rams Taker’s head into it.  Hulk hits the big boot but Undertaker pops up.  Paul Bearer tries to hit Hulk with the urn but cracks Taker instead.  Hogan grabs the urn, takes out some ashes and throws them into Undertaker’s face.  OUR HERO!  Hogan rolls him up and gets the pinfall for his fourth championship. 

Postmatch note: As Hogan was throwing the ashes in Taker’s face, Flair hoisted up a groggy Jack Tunney so he could see the finish.  This would prove instrumental in how the title scene was shaken up for the next couple of months.  More on that in the next revue…

BL:  Well the pace was slightly better than the Survivor Series match.  In Hulk’s world it was lucha speed.  The ending to this one though was way worse.  * ¼

Final Thought: Well, it seemed like a lot of the matches were clipped but what they left in was decent enough.  I don’t think this card was Pay-Per-View worthy but it certainly did a good job of progressing the main storylines.  If you want to see the show for a novelty, you can check it out on Coliseum Video’s WWF Supertape 92.  Certainly not a must see though.

Next time, we see how many times Flair can flop in an hour.  Plus, highlights from the greatest Barber Shop ever (and I’m not talking about the one where Sid cut a promo with talcum powder all over his face).

Until then, thanks for stopping by the OOld Tyme Rasslin Revue
  

E-MAIL ADAM
BROWSE THE OOLD TYME ARCHIVES

Originally from Cleveland, Adam is now a graduate student at the University of Dayton who is looking to make a couple extra bucks writing this column. What do you mean Rick doesn't pay his columnists?

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