Your commentators are Vince McMahon, Jerry “the King” Lawler and Jim Ross (to what do we owe this honor?)

Emanating from the Saginaw Civic Center in Saginaw, Michigan
 

Opening Match: Savio Vega vs. Waylon Mercy

For those unfamiliar with Waylon Mercy, let me enlighten you.  Mercy was a short-lived character that has been highly debated.  The issue in debate is whether his character is Wrestlecrap or not.  His gimmick was that he was a soft-spoken Southerner with a psychotic side to him.  He’s a 

combination of Forrest Gump and Hannibal Lecter. Those who say he was Wrestlecrap just didn’t get his character in my opinion.  If he would have been around longer than a few months (he retired shortly after this match due to injuries), I think he would have been a great heel.  Oh yeah…the match.  Savio offers a handshake and Mercy obliges.  See he’s not such a bad guy.  As Savio turns his back, Mercy tries to hit him from behind.  Well nobody’s perfect.  Savio dodges the attack and pounds away on Mercy.  Working on the arm, Savio takes Mercy down with an armbar.  A knee to the gut turns things in Mercy’s favor.  Mercy tosses Savio to the floor and continues his attack.  A sloppy stungun by Mercy gets 2.  As Mercy pounds on Savio in the corner, Dok Hendrix reports from the back that Owen Hart has not arrived yet.  More at 11.  A sideslam by Mercy gets 2.  Mercy whips Savio and then locks on a sleeper.  Savio is able to break the hold by dropping Mercy across the top rope.  Mercy quickly applies the hold again but just as quickly Savio breaks free with a back suplex.  A big boot and a spinning heel kick put Savio back into control.  That combo gets a nearfall.  Savio uses a unique move where he appears to go for a Russian legsweep but then drives Mercy’s head down like a DDT.  That gets 2.  A big clothesline by Mercy turns the tide in his favor.  Mercy then hits a brainbuster that gets a long 2.  A back suplex by Mercy once again gets him a nearfall.  Savio gets a German suplex out of nowhere for 2.  Savio then cracks him with his spinning heel kick for the 3 count.

Bottom Line: I’m a little disappointed by the finish.  As I stated, I’m a big Waylon Mercy fan so I was hoping he would get a solid push.  With that said, I was very impressed with the work here.  Given the time they had they kept the action fast-paced.  A very positive start to a show that I had low expectations for.  ** ¾

- Dok runs into the locker room as Cornette and Interim President Gorilla Monsoon are in the middle of a heated discussion.  Gorilla tells Dok that the Triple Header match will take place tonight with or without Owen.  It’s pretty sad when Gorilla is one of the most over people on your roster.

Sycho Sid vs. Henry O. Godwinn

This comes as a result of HOG severing ties with the Million Dollar Corporation about a month ago and then slopping Sid.  A lockup to start gives neither man an advantage.  Godwinn plants Sid’s face into the mat and then knocks him to the outside.  Godwinn suplexes Sid back inside but reinjures his back that was hurt by a Sid powerbomb a few weeks ago.  Proof of that is evident when Godwinn can’t pick up Sid to slam him.  Sid takes advantage of this and dumps him to the outside where Dibiase gets a few kicks on him as well.  As Sid continues working on Godwinn’s back, JR makes a side comment that “Sid might change his luck on pay-per-views” alluding to the fact that he hasn’t won one since coming back and got pulled at the last minute from the last PPV.  Ouch.  Sid slaps on a camel clutch and the only thing preventing me from fast-forwarding is Lawler’s hilarious cracks on JR and Oklahoma.  Godwinn tries to break free but Sid won’t let him.  Sid tries booting Godwinn in the corner but Godwinn moves out of the way.  That miscue allows Godwinn a chance to make his comeback.  Godwinn hits the Slop Drop and covers but Dibiase pulls him off.  Godwinn chases after Dibiase but then thinks twice.  As Godwinn gets back into the ring, Savio hits him with a stiff kick.  Dibiase trips Godwinn as he was going off the ropes.  That distraction allows Sid to hit the powerbomb and finish it.

Postmatch: As Sid and Dibiase argue over who’s going to slop Godwinn, Bam Bam comes out for the save.  Kama comes out and he and Sid double-team Bam Bam.  This allows Godwinn to come from behind and slop Dibiase.

BL: The middle of this match revolved around Sid’s rotation of punch, kick, resthold, repeat.  Talk about dullsville.  My hopes after last match were completely dashed here.  Chalk this one up as being utterly pointless.  ¾ *

- Investigative reporter Dok Hendrix learns from Gorilla that Cornette has two options: Have Yokozuna fight Diesel and Shawn Michaels 1-on-2 or find Yokozuna a new partner who for one night only will be a tag champ with him.  If I were Cornette, I’d choose option 2 and pick Barry Horowitz.  I hear he’s on a real roll lately.

British Bulldog vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Early on, Bam Bam uses his girth to his advantage.  The announcers are harping so much during this match as to WHO Cornette will pick that it’s becoming quite apparent.  As I write that, they show a shot backstage of Cornette talking to Sid, just to throw us off guard.  Meanwhile, absolutely nothing is happening in this match.  After Bam Bam misses an elbow, the Bulldog locks on a reverse chinlock.  Bulldog hits a suplex but Bam Bam no-sells it. Bam Bam charges after the Bulldog but misses and flies over the ropes to the floor.  Bulldog tries to suplex Bam Bam back in, but he blocks it and crotches the Bulldog on the top rope.  As Bam Bam goes up top, the Bulldog has to roll to the middle of the ring for Bam Bam to hit the headbutt.  That looked pretty stupid.  The headbutt gets a nearfall.  As Bam Bam argues with the referee, the Bulldog takes out Bam Bam’s knee from behind.  After working over Bam Bam’s knee for some time, the Bulldog is stopped in his tracks with an enziguri.  The Bulldog slaps on a half crab, but can’t get a submission.  After minutes of restholds, the Bulldog tries a powerslam, but Bam Bam falls on top of him.  That gets 2.  The Bulldog goes for a sunset flip but Bam Bam sits on him.  Bam Bam tries the moonsault and misses.  A flying headbutt by the Bulldog gets 2.  Dear god, end this match!  The Bulldog whips Bam Bam to the corner and then catches him in a powerslam for the 3 count.

BL: This match was like a meal you eat and still feel hungry afterwards.  There was just nothing going on here.  Given the fact that the Bulldog is in line for a big heel push you would think they’d give him something with more substance here.  *

- Bob Backlund comes out and insults the crowd again using words that nobody understands.  He needs to work on that.  He then introduces a man of equal intellect to him, Dean Douglas.

Razor Ramon vs. Dean Douglas

Razor runs in the ring and immediately starts hammering on Douglas.  Aww, we didn’t get to see Razor’s pyro.  Douglas is clotheslined to the floor and Razor is fired up.  Some mat work by the two goes nowhere.  A hiptoss by Douglas is blocked and then Razor hiptosses Douglas out of the ring and to the outside.  Nice bump there.  A LOL moment as we cut backstage and see Cornette, Yoko and King Mabel look at the camera and then talk as if they’ve been in deep conversation for minutes now.  Douglas tries a crossbody but Razor catches him and hits the fallaway slam.  Razor begins working over Douglas’ arm with a variety of armbars and other restholds.  After trading nearfalls, Razor goes back to the arm.  Razor charges Douglas but he sidesteps Razor and tosses him out of the ring.  Then, Douglas launches himself out and nails Razor in the back with a double axe handle.  Douglas continues the punishment on the floor using the assistance of the steel post and steps.  Back inside, Douglas gets a nearfall.  Douglas works over Razor’s back with a submission hold.  A splash from the second rope onto Razor’s back gives Douglas a 2 count.  Both men are down after Razor dumps Douglas off his back from a resthold.  Razor mounts a comeback whipping Douglas from corner to corner.  As Razor sets up Douglas for the top rope back suplex, Douglas elbows Razor and hits a crossbody.  Razor rolls through it and gets a 2 count.  Sensing danger, Douglas throws Razor into the referee knocking both guys out.  Douglas misses a splash which allows Razor to hit the Razor’s Edge.  As Bob Backlund tries waking up referee Tim White, the 1-2-3 Kid comes down and makes the 3 count.  Huh?  Razor sees that it wasn’t the referee’s count and gets angry with the Kid.  As Razor shoves the Kid out of the ring, Douglas rolls Razor up from behind and gets the legit 3 count.

Postmatch: Razor and the Kid start to get into a scuffle but the Usual Bunch of Idiots break it up before it gets out of control.

BL: It’s a real shame to see a decent match be overshadowed by the possible feud between Razor and the Kid.  By the end of the match, Douglas was a non-entity which takes away from his win.  When introducing new guys, they shouldn’t be booking them in that manner.  Still a solid match until the end.  *** ¼

- Dok talks with Shawn and Diesel who claim to be frustrated over the Owen situation but still appear to be cool, calm and collected.  They also mention that after tonight they won’t be 2 Dudes with Attitudes, but rather 2 Chaps with all 4 Straps.  Man, the writers are on their A game tonight.

Bret “the Hitman” Hart vs. Jean Pierre Lafitte

Let’s bring everyone up to speed here.  Lafitte is Quebecer Pierre.  This feud comes as a result of Lafitte stealing Bret’s sunglasses and jacket.  Cuz you see, he’s a pirate.  Get it?  I don’t know why Bret is even upset.  It’s not like he kept that stuff safely guarded in the first place.  Well evidently he is mad and takes it out on Lafitte right away by nailing him with a pescado.  Bret mauls Lafitte on the floor before the bell even rings.  Inside, Bret continues to pummel Lafitte until he gets Bret with a thumb to the eye.  You would think he would be more sensitive about eye gouging considering HE wears an eye patch.  Lafitte misses a charge in the corner allowing Bret to start working over his arm.  Bret gets a crucifix for 2.  Lafitte blocks a hiptoss and takes Bret’s head off with a clothesline.  A rollup by Bret stuns Lafitte but only gets 2.  After whipping Lafitte to the ropes, Bret puts his head down allowing Lafitte to kick him and go back on offense.  Bret charges Lafitte in the corner but misses and rams his shoulder into the post.  Then Lafitte throws Bret shoulder-first into the opposite post.  Lafitte charges toward Bret, but he flips Lafitte out of the ring.  Landing on his feet, Lafitte pulls Bret out and throws him into the steps.  Inside, Bret suckers Lafitte into the corner and begins to hammer on him.  Coming off the ropes, Bret gets caught by Lafitte who hits him with a spinebuster.  That gets 2.  A legdrop by Lafitte also gets 2.  Classic Line: Vince “And I’m sure Jean Pierre Lafitte is asking himself the same question that every competitor has ever asked themselves when in the ring with Bret Hart, including you Jerry Lawler…”  Lawler “How do you stand the smell?”  Bret gets a sunset flip for a nearfall.  Lafitte comes right back though with a sideslam and a top rope legdrop.  Bret moves out of the way before Lafitte can hit the Cannonball (a swanton bomb).  That miss allows Bret to go for the Trademark 5.  He decides not to finish all of them and go straight for the Sharpshooter but Lafitte kicks him off.  Going after Bret, Lafitte tries a somersault plancha but all he hits is the floor.  Wicked bump!  Inside, Bret actually goes through the Trademark 5 again but when he goes for the second rope elbow, Lafitte boots him.  Bret tries a crucifix but Lafitte plants him on the mat.  Lafitte boots a charging Bret and then tries to pin him with his feet on the ropes but still only gets a 2 count.  As Bret goes for a bulldog, Lafitte takes his momentum and shoves him hard into the corner.  Lafitte tries a top rope splash, but misses.  A double clothesline puts both men down.  With both men on the mat, Bret locks Lafitte’s legs in the Sharpshooter.  Once Bret finally cinches it in, Lafitte has no choice but to submit.

BL: What a sleeper hit!  Once again, like last month, Bret is thrown in there with a gimmick wrestler and still produces the goods.  While it does nothing for Bret, the WWF was smart in trying to get these guys over by wrestling Bret.  The problem is that once these guys moved onto other feuds with lesser workers, all the fans were left with is the realization of how stupid their gimmicks were.  As for this match, the last few minutes had so much back and forth action, I could barely recap it all.  ****

- Well to the surprise of no one, Cornette announces the Bulldog as Yoko’s new partner and new co-holder of the tag titles.  At least the workrate stays about the same with this change.

Triple Header Match: Diesel (WWF Champ) and Shawn Michaels (Intercontinental Champ) vs. Yokozuna and the British Bulldog (WWF Tag Team Champs)

The Bulldog and Shawn lockup to kick things off.  Some nice mat work by the two gets the crowd hot right away.  After kicking the Bulldog to the floor, the faces clear Yoko out of the ring as well.  Yoko gets back in and Shawn challenges him to a sumo match.  As the two run at each other, Shawn slides under Yoko and then pounds away, only to be stopped cold with a Yoko elbow.  Diesel is tagged in after Yoko misses an elbowdrop.  A big boot by Diesel sends Yoko back outside.  As Diesel tries to bring him in, he’s blindsided by the Bulldog.  Bulldog goes for his delayed suplex on Diesel but can’t pick him up all the way.  That was embarrassing.  The second attempt is successful and gets a 2 count.  The Bulldog gets Diesel up for the running powerslam but Diesel escapes and shoves him into the corner.  Shawn gets tagged in and hits a splash off of Diesel’s shoulders for 2.  After getting him up for a gorilla slam, the Bulldog drops Shawn and crotches him on the top rope.  Yoko then knocks him to the ground for good measure.  Inside, Yoko whips Shawn to the corner where he does his flip, flop and fly.  Vince begins pointing out how teammates might not get along because of all the gold on the line.  Wouldn’t that have been better to hype that aspect in the weeks before the PPV?  A chinlock by the Bulldog is applied on Shawn which makes him your Clique member in distress.  After a lengthy nervehold by Yoko (go figure!) he goes for the Banzai Drop but Shawn moves at the last second.  Hot tag is made and Diesel unloads on the Bulldog.  All four men are in now with the faces dominating.  As Diesel goes for the Jackknife, Yoko comes from behind and hits him with a Samoan Drop.  Then Shawn delivers Sweet Chin Music to Yoko.  As the Bulldog hits Diesel with a powerslam, he covers but Shawn breaks up the pin with an elbow.  Suddenly, out from the back Owen Hart comes in and tries to attack Diesel but gets caught.  Diesel hits the Jackknife on Owen, covers and Earl Hebner makes the 3 count.  I guess that’s valid (For note: Diesel and Shawn were stripped of the titles on RAW the next night and they were given back to Owen and Yoko because Owen was not a valid tag champ at the PPV.  Later that night, Owen and Yoko lost the tag titles to the Smoking Gunns.)

BL: Some good action here but a few slow spots and the nonsensical ending prevent this from being anything special.  Speaking of that finish, what was with the booking here?  What was the purpose of putting Bulldog in that match?  If it’s to help build toward a Diesel/Bulldog program, why not put him in there with Owen instead?  As a result, Owen is booked to look like a complete loser here by getting beat in mere seconds.  ** ¾

Final Thought: A surprising show that produced more good than bad.  But the problems outlined in the main event just show how far away the WWF was from being decent.  Still, continuing to produce shows like this one is a positive step.

Next time, a golden debut in the Great White North

Until then, thanks for stopping by the OOld Tyme Rasslin Revue