Your commentators are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and making his shocking return, Mr. Perfect

The Underdogs: Barry Horowitz, Hakushi, Marty Janetty, and Bob Holly vs. The Bodydonnas: Skip, Rad Radford, Dr. 

Tom Pritchard, and the 1-2-3 Kid

Some stage setting before we begin…Jean Pierre Lafitte was originally part of the Bodydonna team but suffered an injury.  He was replaced by the 1-2-3 Kid who had just turned heel the week before while refereeing a Razor/Sid match on RAW.  As the Kid comes down for the match, Razor tries to attack him but is drug to the back by the Usual Bunch of Idiots.  Match begins with all members of each team taking turns getting their shots in.  A flying bodypress by Holly is enough to put away Pritchard.  FACES UP 4-3.  Before we can mourn the loss of Dr. Tom, Skip comes in and immediately rolls Holly up to end his night.  TIED UP 3-3.  

Skip and Hakushi go at it and end up colliding, knocking both men down.  Skip is able to tag the Kid but Hakushi stays in.  The Kid and Hakushi do a hot little sequence that ends with Hakushi hitting a top rope shouldertackle.  That gets a 2 count.  Hakushi tries a springboard splash, but the Kid moves out of the way.  The Kid tags Radford as we see Razor watching from the back on a monitor.  As Hakushi approaches Radford, the Kid kicks him in the back of the head.  Radford covers the knocked out Hakushi and gets the pin.  HEELS UP 3-2.  Hororwitz goes to check on his fallen friend, but Radford goes immediately to work on him.  After hitting Horowitz with a gut wrench suplex, Radford covers but then picks him up at 2.  Obviously Radford hasn’t figured out that Horowitz isn’t the jobber he used to be.  Radford hits Horowitz with a hard clothesline and then proceeds to pick him up again after covering him for 2.  In an interesting spot, Radford hits the “Perfect neckbreaker” and then points over to Henning.  I’m not quite sure if he did that as an homage or to rub it in his face.  Radford does some pushups (he was in the middle of his Bodydonna wannabe gimmick) but gets pinned by Horowitz with an inside cradle.  TIED UP 2-2.  

Skip comes in but gets manhandled by Horowitz.  Horowitz whips Skip who makes a blind tag to the Kid.  Once again, the Kid nails someone in the back of the head with a kick.  The Kid follows it up with his shitty legdrop and ends Horowitz’s night.  HEELS UP 2-1.  We again cut to the back to see Razor watch on in disgust.  Skip charges at Janetty and tries to do a bronco buster, but misses and crotches himself.  Ironically, it would be the Kid who would go on to use that maneuver to much success.  A nice sequence by Janetty and Skip that ended in Janetty escaping a powerbomb attempt and getting Skip in a sunset flip for 2.  Janetty hits the Rocker Dropper and goes up top.  Before he can hit a move, Skip shakes the ropes to crotch Janetty.  Skip climbs up the corner but Janetty grabs him and hits a top rope powerbomb.  A move hardly seen today and never to my knowledge done in the WWF until this point.  A definite “holy shit” moment.  That is easily enough to put away Skip.  TIED UP 1-1.  

The Kid immediately attacks the fatigued Janetty.  A top rope legdrop gets 2 for the Kid.  Going up top again proves to be costly for the Kid as Janetty rolls out of the way.  I’m surprised the announcers haven’t mentioned how these two were tag champs at one point.  Janetty starts to make a comeback as he gets a nearfall after a dropkick.  With Janetty still in control, Sid makes his way down to ringside.  Janetty hits the Rocker Dropper and covers, but the Kid gets his foot on the ropes before the 3.  Ted Dibiase (the Kid’s new manager) gets on the apron to distract the referee.  This allows Sid to grab Janetty and drop him across the top rope.  The Kid covers and gets the cheap victory.  

Survivor: The 1-2-3 Kid

Postmatch: Sid and the Kid celebrate in the ring while Razor destroys a $10,000 television in the back.

Bottom Line: You wouldn’t have thought it looking at the participants, but this was a really great match.  Everyone involved really busted their asses in there.  As a result they put on a number of really hot sequences that the crowd really got into.  Plus storyline wise, this did a very nice job of establishing the weasely heel the Kid had become.  Great opener all around.  *** ¾

- Todd Pettingil interviews the rest of Razor’s teammates in his Wild Card match tonight.  They all feel that he needs to get his act straight and fly right so that they can succeed.  I believe this was the first of many interventions people have held for Scott Hall in his life.

Women’s Survivor Series Elimination Match: Alundra Blayze (Women’s champ), Sakie Hasegawa, Kyoko Inoue, and Chapparita Asari vs. Bertha Faye, Aja Kong, Tomoko Watanabe and Lioness Asuka

You’ll forgive me if I incorrectly tell who does what move here as I have to go by J.R.’s commentary to describe the action.  Asuka gets Asari in a big swing and covers, but Asari bridges out and tags Blayze.  Blayze gets a few kicks in before tagging Asari again.  Asari hits a sky twister press, but opts to once again tag Blayze instead of going for a pin.  Blayze hits a German suplex on Asuka and gets the 3 count.  FACES UP 4-3.  

Watanabe immediately tries a moonsault and misses.  After Watanabe rolls to the floor, Blayze goes up and hits a crossbody.  Hasegawa now in and delivers rolling double underhook suplexes to Watanabe.  Watanabe comes back however and nails Hasegawa with a top rope butt splash.  That gets 2.  Kong gets tagged in and goes to work on Hasegawa.  Hasegawa tries a move from the top rope, but Kong kicks her as she comes down.  Kong follows it up with a unique suplex and that is enough to finish her.  TIED UP 3-3.  

Asari comes in but also gets steamrolled by Kong.  She’s eliminated after Kong hits her with a big splash from the second rope.  HEELS UP 3-2.  Blayze slows Kong down with an enziguri and then tags Inoue.  Inoue tries for a sunset flip on Kong, but Kong just sits on her and pins her.  HEELS UP 3-1.  

All 3 heels stalk Blayze but she fends them off and grabs Watanabe.  Blayze goes for a cover and they botch it completely as the referee counts 3, but Watanabe kicked out beforehand.  They let her stay and things get worse as Blayze tries picking Watanabe up and nearly drops her.  Blayze finally hits a piledriver on her and gets the pinfall.  HEELS UP 2-1.  Faye, making her first official appearance in the match, beats down Blayze.  More moves are botched as everyone seems lost as to what happens next.  Faye and Kong go for a double team but end up colliding into one another.  Blayze takes advantage by hitting Faye with a German suplex and getting a pin.  TIED UP 1-1.  

Kong hits a superplex of Blayze but only gets two.  Blayze comes back and hits Kong with an ugly hurricanrana for 2.  A top rope dropkick and a standing moonsault give Blayze another nearfall.  Kong finally puts this dog to rest by nailing Blayze with a spinning backhand blow and pinning her.  

Survivor: Aja Kong…cue Orient Express’ music

BL: This was one of the most difficult matches to review.  I didn’t know most of the ladies’ names nor half the moves they used.  Plus the match was anything but fluid, which always makes things more difficult.  I’m surprised that they had Kong go over as it would have made more sense to me to put over the one known commodity.  But I guess they wanted to build for that feud that never happened.  Kong was supposed to fight Blayze at the Royal Rumble but it got scrapped and then the Women’s title was scrapped, literally, a few months later.  *

- In one of those “I’m embarrassed to be a wrestling fan” moments, Todd interviews the “President of the United States”.  The rather unfunny bit ends with “Clinton’s” Secret Servicemen tackling him as Bam Bam Bigelow’s pyro goes off.  This was supposed to be a humorous jab at the fact that there had recently been a shooting near the White House.  Oh that Vince…always with his finger on the pulse on the latest cutting-edge political satire.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldust

Goldust beats Bam Bam to the punch and starts firing right hands at him.  Bam Bam tries to fight back but Goldust rolls to the outside.  Back inside, a slugfest breaks out which Bam Bam caps off with a dropkick.  Goldust goes back to the floor, but this time brings Bam Bam out there with him.  Attempting to punch Bam Bam, Goldust misses and cracks his arm on the ringpost.  Both men go back inside only to have Goldust clothesline Bam Bam back to the floor.  Goldust continues the attack both in and out of the ring as Bam Bam can’t get on track.  Finally, Bam Bam hits a back suplex but a follow-up headbutt misses.  That gives Goldust a nearfall.  Goldust slaps on a reverse chinlock, but Bam Bam powers out.  Bam Bam nails Goldust with a series of clotheslines, but only gets a 2 count when he covers.  Goldust moves out of the way as Bam Bam tries for a corner splash and then hits Bam Bam with a running bulldog.  That’s enough to pick up the victory.

BL: Another sluggish affair from Goldust.  Way too many restholds and stall tactics for anybody’s liking.  It would take for him to amp up the homosexuality for anybody to give two shits about him.  This was also Bam Bam’s final appearance and it’s a shame he couldn’t have gone out on a better note.  ¾ *

- We head back to Todd and Clinton, who are now joined by Mr. Bob Backlund.  My hopes of Backlund giving each of them crossface chicken wings are dashed.  Instead we get some dull banter between Backlund and Clinton.  I never thought I would yearn for the political humor of Mark Russell.

- We get a recap of the Undertaker’s problems with King Mabel.  This includes clips from King of the Ring ’95.  Oh because we soooo needed to be reminded of what happened at that classic event.

The Dark Side: Undertaker, Savio Vega, Henry O. Godwinn, and Make an Indifference Fatu vs. The Royals: King Mabel, Jerry “the King” Lawler, Isaac Yankem D.D.S., and Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Story here is that the Undertaker had his face crushed by Mabel and wants revenge so he found three bodies to fill up the spots needed for a team despite not really needing teammates.  Taker comes out wearing a Phantom of the Opera-esque mask while the heels give us “frightened”.  It’s Fatu and HHH who start things off and Fatu gets an early advantage.  HHH goes for a Pedigree near the face corner but when he stares at Taker, he gets scared and lets go of Fatu.  Fatu tags Godwinn which prompts HHH to quickly tag out.  After Yankem works over Godwinn, HHH is more than willing to tag back in.  Historic note: Mr. Perfect lets all of us know that HHH likes to be called Triple H, a nickname that has now overtaken his original name.  HHH knees Godwinn and gets a nearfall.  Godwinn comes back however and press slams HHH.  It’s now Lawler and Vega who tangle.  Vega shows up Lawler by dancing after hitting a hiptoss.  Lawler returns the favor by dancing in front of the faces after kicking Vega down.  That move ends up being ill-fated as Vega dropkicks Lawler into the face corner as he was dancing.  Fatu gets tagged in and is in control until Yankem knees him on the apron.  Mabel tries to avalanche Fatu, but misses.  Vega tries his luck against Mabel but is unsuccessful.  The heels now make frequent tags working over Vega.  Lawler hits Vega with a piledriver, but poses before covering and only gets a 2 count.  After the heels work over Vega some more, Lawler comes back in and hits him with another piledriver.  Vega no-sells this one and tags Taker.  Taker tombstones Lawler and that’s it for him.  UNDERTAKER UP 4-3.  Taker gives his brother, Yankem, a tombstone and it’s all over for him too.  UNDERTAKER UP 4-2.  HHH tries to bail but Godwinn threatens to slop him so he goes back.  Taker grabs him from the apron and chokeslams him into the ring to end his night.  UNDERTAKER UP 4-1.  Mabel actually hits Taker with a legdrop but Taker does the zombie sit up, so the frightened Mabel just runs and takes the countout loss.  

Survivors: The Undertaker and those 3 other guys.

BL: Well before the abrupt finish, we had some perfectly acceptable wrestling.  But all of that was for naught as the whole match was done to jerk off the Undertaker.  His destruction of the heels was overkill as it had been established a long time ago that Taker was an unstoppable force.  * ½

- Dok Hendrix decides to hawk denim jackets now about 10 years after denim jackets outgrew their coolness.  But hey, you can choose from Shawn Michaels, the Undertaker, Bret Hart or Dieselto be on the back of the jacket.  That’s cool right?  Once again the WWF finds a way to get your child beat up on the school playground.

- Interviews by Bret and Diesel are shown and while each one is meant to be serious, they each bring the funny; Bret, by saying tonight “the truck stops here” and Diesel, by saying the WWF has been running “quite nicely and quite effectively” on Diesel power.

- Todd talks with the other Wild Card team and Shawn Michaels mentions that Ahmed Johnson is his “backdoor”.  I’ll assume that is some reference to a bizarre Clique initiation.  By the way, Todd always has this look on his face whenever Shawn talks that is similar to whenever the school nerd thinks the star quarterback is talking to him.  Sort of a dreamy, starry-eyed look.  Whatever it is, it’s rather pathetic.

Wild Card Match: Yokozuna, Owen Hart, Dean Douglas and Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels, Sid, the British Bulldog and Ahmed Johnson

This was Gorilla Monsoon’s grand idea to mix up heels and faces, put them on together on a team and see what happens.  You could say that this marked the beginning of the “shades of grey” era that Steve Austin would lead through most of the late ‘90s.  We begin with a nice sequence between Shawn and Owen where Owen tosses Shawn out and as Shawn hoists himself in, he gets Owen in a headscissor and tosses him to the floor.  Shawn then goes to the floor, steals Jim Cornette’s tennis racquet and swats him on the ass with it.  Oh that cad.  Back inside, Owen slows down Shawn with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex and then tags Douglas.  Mr. Perfect makes a very interesting remark on how Shawn probably forfeited the Intercontinental title last month to Douglas because he “didn’t want to be pinned”.  Gotta love those subtle shoot comments.  Shawn hits a moonsault and covers, but Owen pulls him off before the 3 count.  Johnson gets tagged in and takes on both Owen and Douglas.  Yoko comes in and Johnson tries to slam him, but Owen and Douglas stop him before he got too far.  Yoko now remains in despite never actually being tagged.  Johnson gets trapped in the opposition’s corner where everyone, even Razor, takes some shots on him.  After powerslamming Douglas, Johnson tags Shawn in and press slams him onto Douglas.  That gets a nearfall.  Shawn goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Douglas rolls out of the ring.  Razor tells Douglas to get back in the ring.  As Douglas yells at Razor, Shawn rolls up Douglas but Douglas rolls through it and tries pinning Shawn.  Shawn launches him off and right into a right hand by Razor.  Shawn schoolboys the dazed Douglas and pins him.  SHAWN’S TEAM UP 4-3.  

The Bulldog is tagged in and it appears he will go at it with his brother-in-law Owen.  They actually do go at it and have a great sequence that ends with Owen hitting a spinning heel kick and getting a two count.  Now Razor and Shawn are tagged in.  Razor makes a nice nod to the past by noting that there are no ladders this time.  After some good action between these two, Razor hits Shawn with the Razor’s Edge.  As Razor covers, Johnson makes the save.  After a double KO spot, Shawn gets up first and tags in Sid.  As Sid stomps away on Razor, Yoko comes in and tries to stop him only to quickly be ushered away by the referee.  Shawn tries going up top but Razor slams him off.  That gets a 2 count for Razor.  Sid, back up now, hits a one-handed chokeslam.  Then instead of pinning Razor, Sid tags Shawn and then holds Razor so Shawn can give him Sweet Chin Music.  Shawn kicks but wouldn’t you know it, Razor ducks and it’s Sid that receives the blow.  Shawn gives a great, “ehh, oh well” reaction afterwards.  Razor covers again and gets the pin.  TIED UP 3-3.  

As the Bulldog begins to pummel Razor, Sid gets up and powerbombs Shawn before leaving.  Razor goes over, covers Shawn and gets a very long 2 count.  Owen, Razor and Yoko each take turns beating up Shawn and the worst of it, no doubt, comes in the form of a Yokozuna nerve hold.  Always devastating.  Owen goes for a flying headbutt, but Shawn rolls out of the way.  Shawn tags Johnson and he takes on all on comers.  Johnson hits Owen with a tiger bomb (a move he would later dub the Pearl River Plunge) and pins him.  SHAWN’S TEAM UP 3-2.  Johnson hits a spinebuster on Razor and then goes to pose on the turnbuckle.  Razor gets up and puts Johnson in the Razor’s Edge as he was posing.  As Johnson was going down, however, he managed to tag the Bulldog who comes in and breaks up the pinfall attempt.  Razor hits the Bulldog with a fallaway slam just as we see Sid, the Kid and Ted Dibiase make their way down to the ring.  Razor covers but only gets a 2 count.  As Razor goes off the ropes, the Kid trips him.  Razor punches the Kid off the apron, only to be picked up by the Bulldog and nailed with the running powerslam, which finishes him off.  SHAWN’S TEAM UP 3-1.  

Yoko, all by himself, takes on Shawn and eventually powerslams him and hits him with a legdrop.  He sets him up for the Banzai Drop but misses.  Shawn can barely get up but manages to tag Johnson.  Johnson goes over and actually slams Yoko.  Eat it Lex Luger.  Johnson covers but the Bulldog breaks it up.  Shawn and Johnson yell at the Bulldog and then knock him out of the ring.  Shawn then hits Yoko with Sweet Chin Music and Johnson finishes him off with a big splash.  

Survivors: Shawn Michaels, Ahmed Johnson, and the British Bulldog

BL: It’s hard to give this a bad rating as there was some really good action in there thanks to some decent workers.  However, I can’t help but feel empty after the match as I figured the mixing of faces and heels would provide some more memorable moments.  In fact it barely furthered any storylines, except Razor and the Kid which was already furthered in the opener.  The most meaningful thing it provided was that it set the seeds for Shawn’s concussion storyline the next night on RAW after Shawn suffered a Razor’s Edge, a Sid powerbomb and a Yoko legdrop in this match.  An interesting idea that failed to catch on and was never seen again.  *** ¼

- We join Todd and Clinton again and I’d once again rip on it, but this time it features Sunny sitting seductively in Clinton’s lap, so I’ll give it a pass this time.

- We recap the Bret/Diesel feud showcasing their previous 2 matches and how they ended without a clear winner.  I’ve got no witty remark here.  I’ll just add how it amazes me from a storyline sense how they could justify Bret only getting one shot at the title for a full year after losing it in controversial fashion and that match ended in a double DQ.  No wonder Bret was becoming so bitter.

WWF Championship Match: Diesel (champ) vs. Bret “the Hitman” Hart

Before the match begins, each man takes off a top turnbuckle pad and Vince reminds us this match is No DQ.  Bret drives Diesel to a corner but it’s Diesel who ends up getting the advantage by pummeling Bret’s back.  Bret tries to get a breather on the floor but Diesel follows after him.  Diesel grabs Bret and drops him throat first across the guardrail.  Back inside, a slugfest breaks out which Diesel wins.  The fight spills back out onto the floor where Diesel whips Bret into the steps, rams his back into the post and then bashes him on the back with a chair.  Good grief!  Inside, Diesel clotheslines Bret and then poses to a mixed reaction.  Diesel goes for the Jackknife, but Bret uses the ropes to block it and then bites Diesel’s arm to break free.  Bret hops on Diesel’s back and tries choking him out.  After getting off, Bret goes to work on Diesel’s left leg.  Bret locks a figure four on, but the lanky Diesel grabs the ropes.  Smartly, Bret doesn’t let go for a while since it’s no DQ.  Bret wears down Diesel’s leg more and then goes for the Sharpshooter, but Diesel thumbs him twice.  Bret tries for it again, but this time Diesel shoves him off and the back of Bret’s head cracks on one of the exposed turnbuckle corners.  Bret quickly recovers and rams Diesel’s knee into the post twice.  Grabbing a microphone cord, Bret ties Diesel’s leg to the post to put him at his mercy.  

With Diesel’s tied up, Bret grabs a chair and uses it on Diesel’s knee.  Bret goes up top with the chair but Diesel crotches him and then heaves him off.  With Bret down, Diesel finally unties himself from the post.  Bret charges at Diesel, but Diesel grabs him and chokes Bret out with the cord.  A sideslam by Diesel gets 2.  Diesel whips Bret HARD into the corner and it’s even worse this time as it was to a corner with no turnbuckle pad.  Diesel hits Snake Eyes on Bret but for some odd reason does it in a corner that has a turnbuckle pad.  Now Diesel tries for Snake Eyes in an exposed corner but Bret escapes and rams Diesel’s head into the corner.  Bret now goes through some of the Trademark 5, getting a nearfall with each move.  After clotheslining Diesel out of the ring, Bret goes for a plancha but Diesel moves, leaving Bret to take a nasty bump.  Bret gets on the apron, only to have Diesel shove him off and right into the Spanish Announcer’s Table.  Total Holy Shit moment right there.  Diesel pounds away on Bret and then throws him back into the ring.  Diesel grabs Bret for the Jackknife and Bret just slumps down to the mat.  As Diesel grabs Bret again, Bret pops up and catches Diesel in a small package for a shocking 3 count.  New champion!

Postmatch: Diesel shoves down the referee and gives Bret two Jackknifes.  He then proclaims, “I’M BACK” before leaving to mostly boos.

BL: Simply an awesome match that I actually wished was longer.  The intensity from both men made for a grueling match and hadn’t been seen in a long time.  It provided an awesome holy shit moment and led to an interesting heel turn for Diesel.  Not a perfect match but certainly a damn good one.  **** ¼

Final Thoughts: This show is bookended nicely.  To start, the opener was shockingly good and the woman’s match provided some unique moves.  We ended with a strongly worked Wild Card match and the fantastic title match.  There’s some junk in the middle, but not enough to bog the show down.  I’d say check it out, fast forward past the crap and really appreciate the main event.

Next time, the WWF has a muddy, bloody Christmas

Until then, thanks for stopping by the OOld Tyme Rasslin Revue.