Sorry for no column last week folks.  It was a combination of a couple of things. 
 

1) I had some difficulty locating my column.  Right around the time that I wrote this column, I was in the middle of transitioning from my old desktop computer to my new laptop.  I thought the file was on the desktop, but evidently it wasn’t.  So it took me a while to dig out my old computer and find it.  The reason that took a while was mainly

due to 2) my hectic school schedule.  Who knew going for a Masters degree in Communication would require a lot of time and work?  I thought you could write a Masters thesis over a weekend.  It’s getting pretty depressing, but at least I received a pick me up.  I was accepted by one of the schools I applied to for my PhD.  I’ll wait until I hear from all of my schools before making my decision, but it’s nice to know that at least someone wants me.  OK, I’m beginning to channel the Rick now with all my babble on my personal life.  We don’t need any of that here.  Let’s get on with what you all came here for…HARDCORE NUDITY.  Err, I mean a look back at wrestling’s past.

Now if you can recall back to two weeks ago, we’ve been debating and speculating over what was the origins of the Mero/Goldust feud.  One of our loyal readers wrote in saying he believed it started with Sable hitting on Marlena.  But before things got too steamy Bret Hart went to Vince and put the kibosh on the whole thing.  After reading that, another reader sent me an email to refute this point.  He writes, “It was actually Marlena fancying Sable, she even blew some cigar smoke at Sable from time to time.  Indeed it was Bret who objected to the proposed lesbian angle.  His reasoning was that his kids watch the programming and it’s crossing the line of morality.”  Well, that certainly seems to make more sense as it would seem really out of character for Sable to do the flirting.  Then again, this is Russo we’re talking about.  If anyone else wants to share further input as to where this whole angle was supposedly heading, feel free to shoot me a line.

OOld Tyme Rasslin Revue for WWF In Your House: Buried Alive

Emanating from the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis, IN

Your commentators are Vince McMahon, Jerry “the King” Lawler and Jim Ross (sort of)

- I say “sort of” because J.R. was right in the middle of this “disgruntled employee” angle.  He would frequently berate Vince during commentary and try showing him up by doing things like bringing back “Diesel” and “Razor Ramon”.  This gets escalated throughout the show as J.R.’s mic keeps getting cut as he tries to talk.  What’s really funny is how Lawler reacts to all this.  He ends up playing one guy against the other and laughing as they bicker at one another.  This all makes for some strange, yet entertaining television.

Opening match: “Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

This was originally supposed to be Austin vs. Savio Vega, but Savio was injured, so HHH stepped in.  HHH was finally out of the doghouse and starting to get back to a prominent role again.  Plus, this gave the WWF another opportunity to think outside the box and test the waters with another heel vs. heel matchup.  Both me lockup and HHH throws Austin down.  HHH then curtseys as Austin gets up.  Another lockup, which ends this time with Austin throwing HHH down.  As HHH gets up, Austin gives him the double bird.  You can guess which gesture the crowd responded to more favorably.  J.R. in between his mic cutting out, actually says that he believes both me will be champions someday.  That was quite the prognostication there.  A “Perfect” chant goes out through the crowd as Vince notes that Mr. Perfect will return to the ring tomorrow night to face HHH.  I apologize for not talking more about the match, but thus far there hasn’t been much going on.  Austin takes HHH down with a snapmare, drives an elbow into him and covers for 2.  Austin works on HHH’s arm until HHH thumbs him.  HHH whips Austin across the ring, but gets booted charging after him.  Austin now goes back to work on HHH’s arm.  HHH catches Austin coming off the ropes with a knee to the midsection.  After reversing a whip, HHH catches Austin coming out of the corner with a back bodydrop.  A back suplex by HHH gets 2.  Both men trade sleeper holds until Austin jawjacks HHH while in one.  That gets 2.  A stungun and an elbow from the second rope give Austin another nearfall.  A double clothesline knocks both men down.  As they recover, Mr. Perfect makes his way to ringside and calls over HHH’s escort.  HHH goes to yell at Perfect, but Austin attacks him on the floor.  Austin throws HHH back inside and then jaws at Perfect.  He then throws a drink in Perfect’s face.  Perfect acts like he wants to fight, so Austin gets back into the ring, only to be attacked by HHH.  HHH locks Austin up in the Pedigree, but opts to release him to go after Perfect.  Again, HHH goes outside but gets attacked by Austin, before he can get to Perfect.  Austin tries to suplex HHH on the floor, but HHH reverses it and suplexes Austin.  HHH tries to piledrive Austin on the floor, but now Austin reverses that and sends HHH into the post with a slingshot.  Back inside, Austin hits the Stunner and picks up the victory.

Bottom Line: There wasn’t much of a match here and what was there was tough to pay attention to, given all the distractions.  It was interesting to see how each man would mirror the other’s moves.  Despite the lack of solid wrestling, this was entertaining all the way through.  * ½

- A video package chronicles Billy Gunn’s infatuation with Sunny and how it lead to the Smoking Gunns losing the tag team titles.  Afterwards, an interview with Dok Hendrix sums up for anyone still not getting it that Billy wants to win to get Sunny back and Bart doesn’t like Billy’s ego getting in the way.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: Owen Hart and the British Bulldog (champs) vs. The Smoking Gunns

Owen and Billy trade headlocks as I notice Owen is sporting a new haircut.  Billy tries a move off the top rope, but Owen nails him in the midsection on his way down.  Owen and the Bulldog do some nice teamwork, including an effective drop toe hold/legdrop combo.  The Bulldog misses a charge in the corner and then Bart knocks him down from the apron.  As Billy tags Bart, we see Sunny watching on a monitor in the back.  After slamming the Bulldog, Bart goes for a high crossbody but misses.  A crossbody by the Bulldog gets 2.  Owen gets tagged in and hits Bart with a missile dropkick.  The Bulldog and Owen make frequent tags now and put Bart through a Ricky Morton sequence.  As Bart goes off the ropes, he accidentally collides with Billy.  While the Gunns argue, Owen rolls up Bart for 2.  Bart whips Owen, who gets hit by Billy.  That distraction allows Bart to attack Owen and tag in Billy.  Now it’s the Gunns turn to make quick tags and work over Owen.  The Gunns go for the Sidewinder, but as Billy goes up, the Bulldog sneaks up behind Bart.  When Billy comes off the top, the Bulldog pulls Bart out of the way.  Owen hits Billy with a spinning heel kick and pins him to retain the titles.

BL: Perfectly acceptable wrestling, but nothing that matched the excitement of their match last month.  Unlike then, when the crowd really got into it, two back-to-back heel/heel matches have killed off the crowd here.  Match was more for storyline purposes rather than for quality action.  **

- J.R. is in the ring now and begins to complain to the live audience about his mic problems.  He then promises us that he’ll bring Bret Hart to RAW tomorrow night, where he’ll have plenty to say and be uncensored.  J.R. ends by referring to Vince as the owner of the WWF, which I believe was the first on-air acknowledgement of that, throws him the mic and leaves the arena.  Awww, but we were having so much fun.

- Vince then recaps what happened earlier on the Free For All, when Ahmed Johnson attacked Farooq in the back.  The attack was severe enough that Farooq will not be able to wrestle tonight for the Intercontinental title.

- Before the next match, Mr. Perfect’s music hits and after having a few words with J.R. in the aisleway, he then comes down and joins the broadcast team.  I’m sure unlike J.R., he’ll have a perfectly working headset.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: WILDman Marc Mero (champ) vs. Goldust

Goldust hammes away on Mero, but he comes right back with a series of armdrags.  Lawler gets a LOL moment when talking about Sable, he says, “I can’t say hello to her.  It’s hard to talk and gag at the same time.”  Goldust now works Mero over in the corner.  Mero doesn’t like it when Goldust gets too touchy-feely and takes Goldust down.  A hurricanrana and a back bodydrop by Mero force Goldust to head to the floor.  Goldust can’t rest though, as Mero hits him with a somersault plancha.  Inside, a legdrop by Mero gets a nearfall.  Mero tries to go up top, but Goldust slams him to the mat.  The fight goes back outside, where Goldust rams Mero into the steps.  A clothesline by Goldust gets 2.  Mero breaks out of a headlock, only to be taken down with a knee to the midsection.  A nearfall for Mero after hitting Goldust with a crossbody.  Mero’s comeback is short-lived, however, as Goldust flattens him with a clothesline.  Goldust then gets on the mic and threatens to stick his tongue down everyone’s throat if they don’t shut up.  OK, that was random.  Mero catches Goldust with a back suplex.  A moonsault by Mero gets a very long 2 count.  Goldust whips Mero to the corner and goes for the Curtain Call.  Mero escapes it and gets Goldust in a pinning combination for 2.  Goldust catches Mero charging at him and dumps him to the floor.  Perfect gets up and helps Mero get back in the ring.  As he does this, HHH comes out and appears to want to go now with Perfect.  Goldust tries sneaking up behind Perfect, but Perfect sees him and decks him.  Perfect goes after HHH as Mero hits Goldust with a Samoan drop in the ring.  Mero goes up, hits the Wild Thing, covers and easily gets the 3 count.

Postmatch: Perfect comes in the ring and celebrates with Mero and Sable.

BL: More craziness here as that seems to be the theme tonight.  As for the wrestling, when Mero was in control, it was exciting and when Goldust was on offense, it was boring.  Again, more suitable action, but nothing that we haven’t seen from these two before.  ** ½

- A video package for the Sid/Vader match poses the question…”Who has the better powerbomb?”, but I think the better question is, “Who will be scheduled to win the title only to have Shawn Michaels veto it at the last minute?” 

#1 contenders match for the WWF Championship: Sycho Sid vs. Vader

Shawn Michaels comes out after the two combatants and messes with Jim Cornette.  Vader tries to attack him, but misses, which allows Sid to punch away on him.  Shawn then joins the broadcast team, which must be the cool thing to do nowadays.  Sid knocks Vader down with a clothesline and then follows that with a legdrop.  That gets 2.  A slam attempt by Sid fails due to Vader’s girth and now Vader goes on the attack.  Vader splashes Sid in the corner, causing Sid to fall to the outside.  As the referee chastises Vader, Cornette gets a shot in on Sid.  Sid tries a sunset flip, but Vader just sits on him.  Vader knocks down Sid with a series of clotheslines.  Sid escapes a headlock by hitting Vader with a back suplex.  After knocking Vader down with a boot, Sid goes to the top rope.  Sid tries for a high crossbody, but Vader catches him and drops him to the mat.  A big splash by Vader gets 2.  Vader now splashes Sid from the second rope and covers, but he picks Sid up at 2.  What kind of moron is this guy?  Referee should just award the match to Sid now.  Cornette is pleading for Vader to pin him, but Vader wants to do the Vader Bomb.  He does it indeed, but too bad Sid got his knees up before he connected.  Sid begins his comeback with a slam on Vader.  As Sid goes for the powerbomb, Cornette tries sneaking in the ring.  Sid senses him, stops what he is doing and attacks Cornette.  As the referee escorts Cornette out of the ring, Sid tries the powerbomb again, but Vader lowblows him.  Vader goes for a powerbomb, but Sid blocks it.  Sid comes off the ropes and chokeslams Vader.  He then pins him and gets an out-of-nowhere 3 count.

Postmatch: Shawn and Sid share a few words and shake hands.

BL: So they bill it as the battle of the powerbombs, yet no one hits theirs.  Then they give Sid the win to make a face vs. face main event at Survivor Series.  I’d say I’m shocked, but given the way this show has been tonight, I’ve learned not to be surprised by anything.  The match itself wasn’t anything special.  * ¼

- Dok begins to interview Sid, but J.R. interrupts him claiming that Dok only asks softball questions.  Did he mean easy questions or actual questions pertaining to Sid’s softball league?  Anyways, J.R. asks Sid if he’ll stop at nothing to win the WWF title, even though he’s Shawn’s friend.  Sid begins to give an intense promo and in the middle of it, he blanks and has to regroup.  Whoops, so much for that having any effect.

- Another Mankind/Undertaker video package before their big match.  Gee, I’m surprised they had enough footage to put one together.

Buried Alive Match: The Undertaker vs. Mankind

The two slug it out to begin.  A flurry of punches send Mankind to the outside.  As Mankind tries to pull Taker out, Taker shoves Mankind back, causing Mankind’s head to crack into the guardrail.  Taker goes up top and launches himself onto Mankind on the floor.  The two brawl back to the grave.  Mankind rams a shovel into Taker’s face to slow him down.  Taker blocks a suplex attempt and the two tumble down the mound of dirt.  They now head back to the ring, but not before Taker rams Mankind’s head into the steps.  Taker now begins choking Mankind with a mic cord.  The fight spills into the crowd briefly, but then Taker whips Mankind back over the guardrail.  He then launches himself over the barrier and clotheslines Mankind.  Back in the ring, Taker goes up for the ropewalk, but Paul Bearer shakes the rope, which knocks Taker down.  Mankind dominates until Taker rams him head into the turnbuckle.  Taker can’t sustain the advantage, however, as Bearer hands Mankind a stick, which he uses as a weapon.  An elbow by Taker knocks Mankind down and causes him to drop the weapon.  Taker picks it up and uses it to his advantage.  After hitting Mankind with a big clothesline and a legdrop, Taker goes to the outside to stalk Bearer.  Mankind comes after Taker with a chair, but Taker sees him and boots him.  Bearer then hits Taker with the urn, but Taker no-sells it.  Now Mankind hits him with the chair and he does sell that.  Mankind then licks the chair.  Ewww!  After hitting Taker with a running knee, Mankind takes Taker back toward the grave.  Mankind knocks Taker in the grave, but Taker pops out before any dirt is poured onto him.  Both men are in the plot now and punching away on each other.  Taker hiptosses Mankind down the hill and then they head back to the ring.  Inside, Mankind connects with a piledriver and then tries to pin him, which doesn’t work.  Mankind hits Taker with a double-arm DDT onto a chair and then rocks in the corner with the urn.  Taker does a zombie sit-up and blasts Mankind with the chair.  He then hits Mankind with a legdrop, while the chair was over Mankind’s face.  Ow!  On the floor, Mankind tries a piledriver, but Taker blocks it and heaves him into the steps.  Taker brings the steps into the ring and rams them into Mankind’s head and back.  A Tombstone by Taker seems to polish off Mankind.  Taker carries Mankind to the grave and drops him down in the dirt.  When Taker goes to put him in the hole, however, Mankind puts the Mandible Claw on him.  Mankind goes to use the urn on Taker, but Taker grabs him and chokeslams him into the grave.  Taker shovels enough dirt onto Mankind to be declared the winner.

Postmatch: As Taker continues to shovel dirt on Mankind, a masked man comes out and cracks Taker in the back of the head with a shovel.  The man digs out Mankind and throws Taker into the hole.  Soon they begin to pour dirt on Taker.  Goldust, Crush, Justin “Hawk” Bradshaw, and HHH then comes out and help fill the hole completely with dirt.  After everyone leaves, lightning strikes the tombstone and Taker’s hand pops out of the grave.  End show.

BL: More of the same from these two, which isn’t a bad thing.  They had a decent brawl and Mankind had some of his typical ugly bumps.  But what everyone came for was the finish, which was pretty good.  They didn’t go completely over the top, but they didn’t cop out either.  Strangely, this didn’t mark the close to this feud.  ** ¾

Final Thoughts: There were no blowaway good matches on this show, nothing even over ***.  Yet, somehow I feel I have to recommend this show for its uniqueness.  The WWF was really starting to turn a corner and you could tell because this show had so many unconventional things in it.  From a wrestling purist’s standpoint, it’s a thumbs down, but for everyone else you might as well give it a look.

Next time, we look at a show that had legends trying to relieve greatness and new stars being born.

Until then, thanks for stopping by the OOld Tyme Rasslin Revue.