Welcome back readers.  I come to you this week with good news.  Summer is officially upon us and that means I’ll be back to doing weekly reviews.  School is finally done for me and I couldn’t be happier.  Graduation weekend was nice, but hectic and then the trip back to Cleveland was grueling.  I don’t know how I was able to fit all of my stuff into my car, but it’s all back and in one piece.  Being that this is my last summer in Cleveland, I am definitely going to make the most of it.  One final time to hang out with all my friends and go crazy before I head down to NC.  BTW, for any Carolina readers, if any of you know of decent apartments around the NC State campus, I’d love the info.
 

Before we get into the review, there is one other thing I’d like to mention.  I’ve recently gotten a hold of a DVD recorder and have begun the process of recording some of my old WWF tapes onto DVD.  This means that I’ll have no use for the VHS copies soon.  Once I’m ready to start selling, I’ll let all of you know out there and we'll see

if I can work out some transitions.  OK, and with that I think I’ve gone past the ad, let get to some reviewing…     

OOld Tyme Rasslin Revue for WWF In Your House: Revenge of the Taker

Emanating from the Memorial Auditorium in Rochester, NY

Your commentators are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Jerry “the King” Lawler

Free For All Match: Flash Funk vs. The Sultan

My tape included the Free For All, so you lucky fans get my review of this match as an added bonus.  As Funk poses for the fans, the Sultan jumps him from behind.  After being whipped to the ropes, Funk slips through the Sultan’s legs and fires back at him.  A dropkick by Funk sends the Sultan to the floor.  Funk quickly brings the Sultan back in as a “USA” chant breaks out.  The Sultan no-sells a DDT by Funk and then nails him with a savant kick.  Funk gets on the wrong end of some rough turnbuckle treatment.  As the Sultan charges, Funk moves and the Sultan rams his shoulder into the post.  A legdrop from the second rope gives Funk a nearfall.  Funk perches the Sultan up in the corner and tries for a hurricanrana, but the Sultan turns it into a powerbomb.  The Sultan covers and gets the pinfall.

Bottom Line: Too short to be anything special, but decent nonetheless.  They kept the action moving throughout, which always helps.  Considering one of the participants was the Sultan, this was entertaining.  * ½

- Now we kick off the show with a cool opening video that promotes the title match with some creepy scripture verses being read by Classy Freddy Blassie.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: Owen Hart and the British Bulldog (champs) vs. The Legion of Doom

For months now, Owen and the Bulldog have teased us with breaking up.  For months now, Owen and the Bulldog have been receiving mild face pops, mostly due to the weak tag division and their opponents usually being another heel team.  All of that is completely gone now as Owen and the Bulldog reunited with Bret to form the Hart Foundation after Wrestlemania.  Now these three are arguably the top heels within the company.  Now that we’re all caught up, let’s get on with the match.  Animal kicks Owen and begins to work him over in the corner.  Owen tries to suplex Animal, but Animal just throws him off.  The Bulldog is tagged in, but doesn’t have much luck either.  The Bulldog catches Hawk with his head down and kicks him.  After hitting a delayed suplex on Hawk, the Bulldog tags Owen back in.  Owen tries to put on the Sharpshooter, but is unsuccessful.  Hawk tags Animal, who comes in and powerslams Owen.  As Animal press slams Owen, we go to a splitscreen to see Austin just arriving to the arena.  Hawk hits a splash from the top rope and gets a 2 count.  Owen whips Hawk to the corner, but when he charges, he collides with Hawk and both men go down.  Both men get up and Owen hits Hawk with an enziguri.  Owen makes the tag to the Bulldog, who locks on a chinlock.  Hawk must be gassed already because when Owen is tagged back in, he puts Hawk in a sleeper.  Trying to make a comeback, Hawk runs to the ropes, but the Bulldog kicks him from the apron.  The heels try a double-team move, but it backfires and Hawk makes the hot tag to Animal.  After Owen is knocked outside, Animal gets the Bulldog on the top rope and powerslams him.  Animal covers and gets the three count.  New champions!  Wait a minute…a second referee comes out and talks to the original one.  After their conference, we learn from Howard Finkel that the Legion of Doom pinned the illegal man, so it doesn’t count and the match must continue.  So we begin again and the heels gain a quick advantage with Owen hitting a spinning heel kick.  A neckbreaker and legdrop by Owen gets a nearfall.  Animal gets the Bulldog in a sunset flip, but the referee is slow to make the count, as he was distracted by Owen.  Owen tries a top rope splash, but comes up empty.  Hawk gets the hot tag and takes out both men.  Legion of Doom connect with the Doomsday Device on Owen.  Hawk covers him, but as the referee begins his count, Bret Hart comes out and hits him, drawing the DQ.

BL: A frustrating match to watch, as we somehow got a Dusty Finish and a DQ finish.  I’m not saying LOD should have won the titles, but that’s not the way I would have booked the match.  This didn’t help anyone out.  Ignoring the stupid finishes, the action was just ok, nothing great.  **

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Rocky Maivia vs. Savio Vega

Savio tries jumping Rocky, but Rocky thwarts the attempts and goes to work on him.  As Rocky works on Savio’s arm, Farooq comes out and joins the commentary team.  Savio whips Rocky to the corner and then hits him with a spinning heel kick.  As Rocky hits a crossbody on Savio, we learn that Farooq has issued a challenge to Ahmed Johnson to run the gauntlet and if he defeats all three Nation members, the Nation will be abolished.  Savio slows Rocky down with a nerve hold.  Rocky rolls Savio in a small package for a 2 count.  Now Savio goes back to the nerve hold.  Thank goodness for Farooq on commentary or else I would be asleep.  Rocky hits Savio with a fisherman’s suplex, but the referee doesn’t count because he’s distracted by a Nation member.  Savio begins to work over Rocky in the corner.  Rocky, coming off the ropes, nails Savio with the float over DDT.  He really needs to stop using that move, he’s going to kill someone with it someday.  Savio rolls Rocky up, but Rocky kicks out and sends Savio into the corner.  Rocky dodges a charging Savio, who ends up ramming his shoulder in the turnbuckle.  A belly-to-belly suplex gives Rocky a nearfall.  Rocky hits Savio with what would later be known as the Rock Bottom, but again Savio kicks out at 2.  Savio sidesteps a charging Rocky and throws him to the outside, where he collides into Crush.  With the referee distracted, Crush hits Rocky with the heart punch.  That moves is so devastating that Rocky is unable to get back into the ring and Savio wins by countout.

Postmatch: Savio yells at Crush for costing him the title.  They tease breaking up, but then opt to all gang up and attack Rocky instead.  Soon, Ahmed comes out to save Rocky and let Farooq know that he accepts the gauntlet challenge.

BL: That was a struggle to get through.  Like I said, had Farooq not been on commentary, it would have been difficult for me to resist fast-forwarding this match.  These two didn’t click and the audience sat on their hands.  Fans were beginning to wonder how much longer Vince was going to keep the Rocky project going.  ½ *

- Marc Mero and Sable talk to Dok Hendrix to inform him the knee rehabilitation is going great.  They continue to banter as we see Stone Cold enter the bathroom behind them.  Soon thereafter, a lot of noise and ruckus begins to come from the bathroom and soon we see the Bulldog and Owen emerge with pipes.  I’m sure they were just working on some of the plumbing.

Double J Jesse James vs. Honky Tonk Man’s protégé

This came about after Honky tried to make James his protégé and he smashed Honky’s guitar.  Honky now comes out and introduces us to the man he’s chosen…Rockabilly!  Yes, the man you once loved (ahem) as Billy Gunn is the best Honky could find.  Rockabilly comes out to some horrid theme music wearing a black jean jacket covered in rhinestones and does some dance moves that would even embarrass white men.  Now you tell me, does that sound like a superstar or what?  By the way, Rockabilly had actually rebuffed Honky’s offer two weeks ago, but Honky tells J.R. here that he persisted and hounded Rocky until he accepted.  Rockabilly begins the match with a kick to James’ mid-section.  James comes right back with a pair of armdrags and a clothesline that send Rockabilly to the floor.  Coming off the apron, James clotheslines Rockabilly on the floor.  Back inside, Rockabilly thumbs James and then hits him with a Rocker Dropper.  Instead of covering, Rockabilly opts to dance.  Man, Rockabilly just keeps winning me over here.  Finally, he covers and gets a 2 count.  A neckbreaker by Rockabilly gets 2.  Evidently, two moves is too exhausting for Rockabilly, so he feels the need to slap on a chinlock.  Rocky whips James to the corner, but when he tries to follow it up with a splash, he comes up empty.  James lays some right hands in on Rockabilly.  Rockabilly catches James coming off the ropes and heaves him to the outside.  Rockabilly brings James back in and appears to set him up for some big move, but James catches him in a small package and gets the victory.

Postmatch: Honky tries attacking James with his guitar but misses.

BL: Well this just had bad written all over it.  I mean, from the moment Rockabilly came out, he just screamed Wrestlecrap.  Then we get to the match and we see why Billy shouldn’t be a singles wrestler.  He was blown up within the first minute.  What a horrible waste of Pay-Per-View time.  ¼ *

- Kevin Kelly talks with Austin, who emphatically says he will still wrestle tonight.  Gorilla Monsoon then informs us that in order for Austin to be ready, he’s shuffled the card so that Austin’s match will be last and the title match will be next.  It’s moves like that which make me glad Jack Tunney isn’t the WWF President anymore.

- Newcomer Lance Wright interviews the Hart Foundation.  I’d recap what they said, but I’m too preoccupied with wondering where they got this new interviewer.  Once again, the WWF seeks out the biggest toolbox and hires him on as an interviewer.  Just for once, I would like to see someone be hired as an interview that wasn’t beat up when he was in high school.

- We get a video package setting up the Undertaker/Mankind match.  With the number of matches these two have had, you could make a full length feature film to chronicle their history.

WWF Championship Match: The Undertaker (champ) vs. Mankind

Mankind, who attempted to burn Taker a few weeks ago and who promised to do it again tonight, walks out to the ring with a fire extinguisher.  Taker can’t even get in the ring before Mankind begins his attack.  Both men slug away on the other to begin.  A clothesline sends both men out of the ring.  Taker grabs Mankind by the throat and throws him into the guardrail, which smacks the back of Mankind’s head.  Ouch!  Then, Taker does it again!  Taker now heaves Mankind over the guardrail and into the crowd.  The fight makes its way back into the ring, where Taker connects with the ropewalk.  Taker tries to go for the tombstone, but Paul Bearer gets on the apron.  As Taker approaches Bearer, Mankind comes from behind and nails Taker with the urn.  That gets 2.  Mankind nails Taker with a running knee in the corner.  Taker puts his head down and Mankind catches him with a swinging neckbreaker.  A right hand by Taker knocks Mankind to the floor.  Taker goes out there with him and rams Mankind’s skull into the steps.  Mankind, however, grabs a glass water pitcher and bashes it over Taker’s head.  Then, Mankind uses a chair and nails Taker in the head with it.  With Taker lying on the floor, Mankind leaps from the second rope and hits Taker with an elbow.  In the ring, Taker is hit with a piledriver.  Mankind gets a nearfall for that.  A second piledriver by Mankind puts Taker in trouble.  Taker tries to fight back with a big clothesline.  As Taker charges at Mankind, the referee accidentally gets caught in the middle is knocked out.  Mankind gets the Mandible Claw on Taker and puts him out, but there’s no referee.  A second referee comes out, but Mankind puts the Claw on him and shoves him out of the ring.  Mankind brings the steps into the ring, but Taker dropkicks them into Mankind’s face.  Taker then grabs a chair and blasts Mankind with it.  As Mankind gets up, Taker whips him and he ends up doing a hangman.  Mankind slides out, but his mask comes off in the process.  Trying to get back on the apron, Mankind climbs up, but Taker nails him with the steps and Mankind goes flying head first through the Spanish announcers’ table.  Holy shit!!  Taker drags Mankind out of the rubble, brings him back into the ring and chokeslams him.  That somehow only gets a 2 count.  Taker picks up Mankind and plants him with the tombstone.  That is enough to give Taker the victory.

Postmatch: Taker grabs Paul Bearer and drags him into the ring.  They try to do this spot where Mankind accidentally throws a fireball in Bearer’s face, but Mankind can’t get the flash paper lit and it looks really stupid.  Finally, Taker throws Bearer into a corner, grabs the flash paper and lighter and throws the fire at Bearer himself.  That’s a shame it didn’t work out properly.

BL: As usual these two worked their magic once they got into the ring.  They also provided enough stuff to prevent this from feeling like a rerun.  This may not have been their most memorable match, but it was a very entertaining brawl.  They made the right choice in making Mankind, Taker’s first title defense.  *** ¾

- Dok talks to Bret about his upcoming match and Bret tries to make this analogy about how his feud with Austin has turned into a war.  That’s funny, because I didn’t think Canadians knew what a war was.

Main Event: “Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. Bret “the Hitman” Hart

Bret comes out with Owen and the Bulldog, but they are immediately sent to the back by President Gorilla Monsoon.  As soon as Austin enters, the two begin slugging it out.  Soon, the fight spills to the floor and Austin whips Bret into the steps.  Now Austin throws Bret over the guardrail.  Austin then climbs on the guardrail and hits Bret with an axe handle.  Back in the ring, Austin hits an elbow from the second rope.  Bret rolls back to the outside and grabs a chair.  Before Bret can use the chair, Austin nails him.  Austin goes to use the chair, but Bret dropkicks him and in the process, the referee gets knocked down as well.  Bret grabs the chair and begins to bash it into Austin’s knee.  Now Bret’s focus remains solely on Austin’s knee.  Austin tries to fight back with his good leg, but to no avail.  Bret drags Austin to the corner and puts him in the figure four leglock around the ring post.  Again, Austin tries to fight back with some right hands, but one kick by Bret to his knee knocks him right back down.  We move to a splitscreen to see Paul Bearer leaving the arena on a stretcher.  Back to action now, as Bret has removed Austin’s knee brace.  Austin rolls to the floor, but Bret continues his assault.  In the ring, Austin finally stops Bret with a lowblow.  Austin now uses some of his wrist tape to choke out Bret.  From the apron, Austin tries to suplex Bret to the floor, but Bret blocks it and suplexes Austin back into the ring.  Bret puts on a figure four, but Austin refuses to quit.  Austin manages to flip the hold over, but Bret grabs the ropes.  Bret tries to put Austin in the figure four around the post again, but this time Austin blocks it.  On the floor, Austin backdrops Bret into the crowd.  After attacking him some more on the floor, Austin brings Bret back inside and whips him HARD into the corner.  Austin boots Bret as he was coming off the ropes and then tries to hit him with a piledriver, but he can’t complete the move as his leg gives out.  As Bret approaches Austin in the corner, Austin catches him with a hot shot.  That gets 2.  Austin tries to go for the Stunner, but Bret grabs the ropes.  Bret lowblows Austin with a mule kick.  Setting Austin in the corner, Bret connects with a superplex.  Bret begins to lock Austin in the Sharpshooter, but Austin hits him in the head with his knee brace.  Then, Austin locks Bret in the Sharpshooter.  Before Bret can submit, Owen and the Bulldog come down.  Austin fends them off long enough for the referees to come out and escort them back.  The Sharpshooter is reapplied by Austin, but wouldn’t you know it, the Bulldog manages to sneak back in and hit Austin with a chair to draw the DQ.

Postmatch: Bret tries to attack Austin with the ringbell, but Austin hits him with a chair first.  Austin attacks Bret’s knee with the chair and then puts the Sharpshooter back on.  Finally, the referees pull Austin off as Owen and the Bulldog away.

BL: They were trying to recap the magic from their magic last month at Wrestlemania, but the results weren’t quite the same.  Instead of innovative, everything seemed repetitive here.  They told a decent story, but it just wasn’t as interesting.  Finally, in a match that seemed like we would get finality, we instead get the lame DQ finish.  *** ½

Final Thoughts: You can pass on this show.  The first half of the show belonged in the toilet.  The second half of the show was decent, but provided nothing that you haven’t already seen.  A discouraging thumbs down for this one.

Next time, Ahmed Johnson attempts to run the gauntlet, which will probably prove to be a much easier task for him than say, having to spell gauntlet.