Sorry there hasn’t a review in over three weeks.  I really have no excuse.  It’s just been a mix of being busy and being forgetful.  Then again, I haven’t really had anyone complain that I was gone, so maybe no one noticed.  Regardless, I’m back now and hopefully back on a regular basis again.  Now let’s get to the wrestling!
 

OOld Tyme Rasslin Revue for WWF Summerslam 1997

Emanating from the Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford, New Jersey

Your commentators are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Jerry “the King” Lawler

- Show opens with a rendition of the National Anthem being played over 

the loudspeakers.  This is really weird, especially for the home video version.  I mean, I can understand if a celebrity was singing it or if we were currently in the middle of a war.  Neither apply here and as a result it seems really out of place.  It’s hard to even appreciate it as a “nice moment” when we get shots of the ugly people of New Jersey and signs in the crowd that say “Bischoff smells Turner’s ass”.

Steel Cage Match: Mankind vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Due to nothing being settled last month between these two and Chyna’s constant interference, we get the blowoff to this feud in the form of a steel cage match.  Also, given that they were still using the old blue bars cage and that this was a mid-card feud, it makes sense that this was the opener to save time on set-up.  HHH goes for the smartest, yet most cowardly move you could do in a cage match by diving for the door and trying to escape as soon as the bell rings.  Mankind grabs him immediately to thwart that effort.  Now HHH tries to climb out, but that also doesn’t work.  Mankind works over HHH in the corner and then hits him with a running knee.  After planting HHH with a piledriver, Mankind locks on the Mandible Claw.  Chyna then climbs the cage, reaches through the bars and begins to choke Mankind with her belt.  HHH can’t regain control, however, as Mankind sets him down with a clothesline.  Mankind begins to climb out, but Chyna climbs up by him and punches him right in the sac.  Now HHH climbs up and superplexes Mankind from the top of the cage.  HHH begins to walk out the door, but then stops and decides he wants to punish Mankind some more.  Instead of some rough turnbuckle treatment, HHH gives Mankind some rough cage treatment.  Mankind is taking some wicked shots to the head courtesy of the cage.  HHH begins to climb out, but Mankind lunges and grabs his leg.  As the two brawl by the cage wall, Chyna again interferes by delivering a forearm to Mankind’s skull.  Mankind whips HHH to the ropes, but puts his head down allowing HHH to comeback and hit him with a knee.  Mankind tries to suplex HHH by the cage wall and as a result ends up hanging HHH upside down on the bars.  With HHH hung up, Mankind hits him with a running headbutt.  Neat spot!  Now Mankind is giving HHH the rough cage treatment.  As Mankind charges at HHH, he gets backdropped into the cage.  Both men brawl on the top rope and the end result is HHH getting crotched on the top rope.  As HHH falls, his leg gets caught in the ropes.  Taking advantage, Mankind crawls toward the door, but as he heads out, Chyna whips the door into his head.  Ouch!  Then Chyna throws the outside referee into the steps.  With the referee down, Chyna throws a chair into the ring.  HHH tries to Pedigree Mankind on the chair, but Mankind blocks it.  He then hits HHH with a slingshot, which sends him crashing into the cage and knocking Chyna off.  Mankind then hits HHH with a double arm DDT on the chair.  As Mankind begins to climb out, Chyna comes in the cage, but HHH sends her out because as you’ll see soon, it wasn’t time for her to do that.  Before Mankind hits the floor, he takes off his mask and climbs back up.  At the top of the cage, he tears open his shirt for no apparent reason (more on that later) and then delivers an elbow.  Mankind climbs out again and now Chyna comes back in and properly begins to drag HHH out of the cage.  However, her efforts are wasted as Mankind hits the floor first and wins the match.

Postmatch: As Mankind lies on the floor, the Dude Love music begins to play and causes him to rise to his feet and show off some of those cool dance moves Daddy-O.

Bottom Line: Just a really awesome cage match and a fantastic opener.  Crowd was really into it and both guys brought their A game.  As for the Mankind ripping off the shirt…he revealed in interviews later on that he had put a heart on his chest with marker as a symbol of Dude Love.  However, his sweat washed it away and we the audience were left wondering why he did that.  That and the Chyna mess-up plus the absence of blood cost the match a ¼ star.  Other than that it was great.  *** ¾

- I wouldn’t mention the Superstar line plug here, but I have to because it involves Sunny who looks like she’s pretty well coked up.  However, her drug problem doesn’t matter here as she is so smoking hot in the outfit (and lack thereof) she’s wearing.  Kevin Kelly and I both got instant wood just by looking at her.  - And if I have any female readers out there, I apologize.  I’ll try and keep my hormones in check for the remainder of the review.

- Well any hard-on I may have had has now been completely neutralized as Todd Pettingil brings out New Jersey governor, Christie Todd Whitman to thank her on behalf of the WWF for bringing pro wrestling back to the state of New Jersey.  Crowd completely boos the hell out of the segment.  Ouch!  This was completely unnecessary, but I guess they needed something to do as the cage was being dismantled.

- After a bit more fluffery including showing Tiger Ali Singh sitting ringside (think Muhammed Hassan in a pre 9/11 world) and clips of a “beach party” held earlier in the day, we finally return to action.

Goldust vs. Brian Pillman

Around this time, Vince Russo’s booking was starting to become obvious in WWF storylines.  For instance, each match involving the Hart Foundation tonight involves some stipulation as it relates to the outcome of the match.  So in this match, if Pillman loses, he will have to wrestle on RAW the next night in one of Marlena’s gold dresses.  Match begins with Goldust trying to help Marlena out of the ring and Pillman jumping him from behind.  Pillman whips Goldust to the corner, but Goldust springs off the ropes and hits him with an elbow.  Goldust goes for the 10-punch count, but when Pillman tries to stop it, Goldust kisses him.  J.R. calls it a ‘liplock’.  Har Har  Pillman comes back with a series of punches and kicks to Goldust.  With Goldust down, Pillman begins to chase Mankind around the ring.  However, Goldust blindsides him with a clothesline.  In the ring, Pillman tries to take control by hitting Goldust with a suplex.  But as Pillman tries a move from the top rope, Goldust gets up and knocks him off and to the floor.  As Pillman lies there, Mankind comes over and blows smoke in his face.  Goldust comes out to the floor, but Pillman grabs Marlena and uses her as a shield.  Pillman then kicks Goldust and plants him with a DDT.  A top rope clothesline by Pillman gives him a nearfall.  Goldust escapes a Pillman headlock and gets him in a backslide for 2.  A slugfest breaks out and ends with Goldust doing some of his dad’s old maneuvers.  Goldust goes for the running bulldog but Pillman shoves him off.  The two botch a sunset flip spot and take a while deciding what they will do.  Finally Pillman reaches for the ropes, only for Marlena to blast him with her purse, which allows Goldust to roll him up for the 3 count.

Postmatch: Marlena puts the mannequin with the gold dress in the ring and Pillman proceeds to destroy it.

BL: After such an exciting opener, this one was a major yawner.  I didn’t like how they treated Pillman throughout the match.  Both of these guys can be solid workers, but they just didn’t show it tonight.  Plus, the botched finish didn’t help matters.  This could have been much better.  *

Legion of Doom vs. The Godwinns

The Godwinns turned heel at some point over the summer, but I don’t recall why exactly.  But hey, it’s The Godwinns so who cares, right?  Anyways, this feud began after LOD broke Henry Godwinn’s neck after hitting him with the Doomsday Device.  Now that he’s healthy, they’re looking for revenge.  A brawl erupts right away and LOD clear house.  As the match settles down, Animal whips Phinneas, but then misses the charge.  The Godwinns try a double-team maneuver, but Animal thwarts their attempt.  On the floor, Hawk and Henry brawl.  Inside, Hawk goes after the neck of Henry.  Nothing of interest happens until Animal gets kicked by Phinneas as he was going off the ropes.  Henry knocks Animal off the apron and sends him crashing into the barrier.  Back inside, The Godwinns cut the ring in half to work over Animal.  Animal, thy name is Ricky Morton.  Phinneas tries a move from the second rope, but Animal catches him with a clothesline.  Both men tag out and the crowd barely reacts to it.  A far cry from the energy they had in the opener.  HHH takes out both Godwinns with relative ease.  After hitting Henry with a neckbreaker, Hawk covers, but Phinneas breaks up the pin.  The LOD try to hit the Doomsday Device on Henry, but again Phinneas makes the save.  After they knock Phinneas out of the ring, LOD connect with a spike piledriver on Henry.  That’s enough to put him away and score the victory.

BL: This was as sloppy as the contents found in The Godwinns’ bucket.  Absolutely no flow in this match as it looked as if they were making it all up on the fly.  However, unlike the last match, this is about what I expected from these two teams.  And as I write my complaints about this match J.R. reminds me that this issue probably isn’t over.  Where are my party favors to celebrate that bit of good news?  ¼ *

- We now waste more time by having this million dollar giveaway.  They bring out two contest winners and then also call 2 more.  The calling takes for…ev…er.  The end result is no one wins the money.  I remember being upset watching this thing live because I correctly guessed which number key was the right one (#3).  I guessed it because I would have chosen 3 or 16 and the day this event took place was the 3^rd, so it seemed obvious.  Oh well, another waste o’time here as this crowd continues its slow death.  Only Sunny in her amazing outfit made this even remotely watchable.

WWF European Championship Match: The British Bulldog (champ) vs. Ken Shamrock

The stipulation for this one is that if the Bulldog loses, he will eat a can of dog food.  Anyone want to take any guesses as to the result of this one?  The two go right at it as soon as they get in the ring.  An overhead belly-to-belly by Shamrock sends the Bulldog bailing to the floor.  Shamrock follows him out there and sends him into the post.  Inside, Shamrock tries for the anklelock but the Bulldog quickly grabs the ropes.  The Bulldog boots an approaching Shamrock and then pounds away on him.  The delayed suplex by the Bulldog gives him a nearfall.  Shamrock gets the Bulldog in a sunset flip, but can’t hold him down for 3.  The Bulldog slaps on a headlock as Shamrock is bleeding from the mouth and also is sucking some major wind.  After releasing the hold, the Bulldog whips Shamrock into the corner, where he rams his shoulder into the post.  On the floor, the Bulldog continues his attack by throwing Shamrock into the steps.  After lowblowing Shamrock, the Bulldog tries for a suplex but Shamrock just collapses on the floor in what looked to be a botched spot.  I think Shamrock is spent.  Back inside, the Bulldog locks on another headlock.  The Bulldog then heaves Shamrock back to the floor.  On the outside, the Bulldog grabs some of the dog food and throws it in Shamrock’s face.  Shamrock snaps and beats up the Bulldog.  He then grabs the can of dog food and nails the Bulldog in the head with it, which draws a DQ.  Oh, are you kidding me?

Postmatch: Shamrock beats up the referee and chokes out the Bulldog.  The Usual Bunch of Idiots come out to stop him but he attacks them as well.  That act finally wakes up the crowd.

BL: I don’t know for sure, but it seems as if they called an audible here and rushed to a finish.  Shamrock looked completely blown up in there and the Bulldog could carry him no longer.  As a result, we got a bunch of restholds mixed with a few moments of brawling.  That’s not the recipe for success.  Fans didn’t like the ending and I don’t blame them.  ¾ *

- Pettingil interviews Shawn Michaels and asks how he can be an impartial.  Shawn claims he’ll call it right down the line and nothing will get past his eye.  Shawn then tries to rest his arm on Pettingil’s shoulder, but misses.  If that was purposeful, that’s great subtlty.  If it wasn’t, then Shawn just looked like a fool.

- We get a video package establishing how the Disciples of Apocalypse and Los Boricuas were formed and how they’ve been feuding ever since.  If the “action” shown in the video is any indication of what this match will be like, I don’t see an improvement in star rating happening anytime soon.

8 man tag team match: Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Los Boricuas

Just in case anyone doesn’t know, a few weeks before this, Farooq had fired Savio Vega and Crush from the Nation of Domination.  As a result, Crush formed a biker gang and Savio started a group of fellow Puerto Ricans.  Also, Farooq had brough in new members to keep the Nation alive.  Thus the gang wars had begun.  All 8 men brawl to kick things off and of course the faces clean house.  Skull then gives Jose Estrada some rough turnbuckle treatment.  As with all 8 man tag matches, we now have each guy come in and hit a move or two.  I’ll take the time to mention that Chainz was the Underfaker and Skull and 8-Ball were the Blu Brothers, as well as a number of other tag teams.  Currently, they’re the Harris brothers in TNA, I believe.  A spinning heel kick by Savio turns the tide in favor of Los Boricuas.  As Skull clotheslines Savio, we see the NOD (now consisting of Farooq, Ahmed Johnson, D’Lo Brown, and Kama Mustafa) walking through the crowd and towards ringside.  Is there a reason they didn’t just come down the aisle.  More stuff happens in the ring as Skull plays face-in-peril, but it’s all moot as we all know what’s coming soon.  Finally, Skull makes the tag (to zero reaction) but that doesn’t last long, as soon all 8 men are back in the ring.  Sure enough, one member of DOA is dumped to the outside and he begins brawling with Ahmed.  Ahmed piledrives him on the bare concrete and throws him back in the ring.  As everyone continues to brawl, one member of Los Boricuas comes over, covers Chainz and scores the cheap-ass victory.

Postmatch: All three factions brawl all the way to the back.

BL: Wow, things just keep getting worse.  Why did they even bother having this match?  Its whole purpose was to have all 3 groups brawl at the end.  That, of course, established nothing new.  By now the crowd is on life support.  This whole “match” belonged on RAW and even then it would be just a filler segment.  Please give us something decent.  - *

- The video for the Austin/Owen Hart feud showcases that this all started after Owen pinned Austin last month at In Your House: Canadian Stampede.  Since then all he can do is boast about his victory.  As a result, Austin set up the stipuation for this match…if he can’t kick Owen’s ass (i.e. beat him) he will kiss Owen’s ass.  If he loses, he may have to get Issac Yankem’s number from Jerry Lawler.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Owen Hart (champ) vs. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin

As Austin does his turnbuckle taunt, Owen comes from behind, knocks him down and begins to work on his leg.  Austin manages to fight back and connects with the Lou Thesz Press.  Then he whips Owen to the corner and Owen does his brother’s chest first bump.  Now Austin begins to work over Owen’s arm.  Owen manages to escape the hold only to receive a thumb to the eye.  Ha Ha!  A charging Austin gets elbowed, knocking him to the floor.  On the outside, Austin grabs Owen’s legs and tries to crotch him on the post.  However, Owen pulls Austin forward sending him crashing into the post.  Owen tries breaking Austin’s hand, specifically, he begins to bite his middle finger.  Austin shouldn’t be too worried though, because both of his middle fingers are insured by Lloyds of London.  Owen charges at Austin, but he catches him with a stungun.  After being clotheslined out of the ring, Owen decides he wants to take a walk.  Austin chases after him and attacks him in the aisle.  Back inside, Owen regains control with a belly-to-belly suplex.  A top rope elbow by Owen gets 2.  Owen whips Austin to the corner, but he comes right back with a clothesline.  Austin tries to put on the Sharpshooter, but Owen shoves him off.  A legdrop to the back of Austin’s neck gives Owen another nearfall.  Austin rolls through a crossbody by Owen and gets 2.  Owen connects with a German suplex, but Austin manages to kick out.  Austin gets caught with his head down and Owen plants him with a DDT.  The two exchange sleeper holds and Austin escapes Owen by jawjacking him.  Owen puts Austin in a chinlock, but it gets broken up when the referee catches Owen using the ropes for leverage.  As Owen argues with the referee, it allows Austin to recover and begin to attack Owen.  And then it happened…Austin whips Owen and when Owen comes back, he gets Austin in a tombstone piledriver and drops him right on his head.  This is the move that would give Austin life-long neck problems.  Austin lies on the mat, unable to move as Owen stalls by jawing at the crowd, unsure what to do next.  Somehow, Austin crawls over by Owen and they do this convoluted rollup spot, which allows Austin to pin him and still win the match.  New champion, but far from a celebratory moment.

BL: Just a terrible note to end on.  This was a very unfortunate accident that marred an otherwise good match.  Despite the fact that they put on a decent match, it’s hard to watch knowing how it ends.  The pin by Austin looked really weak, but given the way the rest of the show had been going, they needed to give the fans something to cheer.  ***

- The video package for the main event is nicely done and tells us a few things that we probably already knew: 1) Bret still hates the U.S.  2) Shawn still hates Bret and 3) the Undertaker is still just a bit player in the main event scene despite being champion for almost 5 months.

WWF Championship Match: The Undertaker (champ) vs. Bret “the Hitman” Hart with special guest referee Shawn Michaels

The stips for this match include that if Bret doesn’t win the title, he will never wrestle in the U.S. again.  Also, if Shawn Michaels costs Bret Hart the match in anyway, he too will never wrestle in the states.  Before the bell even rings Bret attacks Taker with the belt as Taker was removing his jacket.  The bell sounds and Taker comes back with a flurry of punches to Bret.  The fight spills to the floor, where Taker takes it to Bret.  Taker charges at Bret, but misses and runs into the post instead.  Now Bret whips Taker into the steps.  Taker comes back, however, and rams Bret back into the post twice.  In the ring, Taker continues to focus on Bret’s back.  Taker misses a big boot, which allows Bret to clip Taker and work on his left leg.  Bret applies a figure four leglock, as we see Paul Bearer waddle down to ringside.  Taker, manages to reverse the hold and then goes outside and gives Bearer a cheap shot.  As Taker attacks Bearer, Bret hits him from behind.  Bearer is escorted to the back as Bret puts Taker in the figure four again, this time around ring post.  Now Owen Hart and Brian Pillman have come down to check out the action.  The moment Taker gets a breather, he goes outside and attacks Owen and Pillman.  Now they have to be sent back.  Taker comes back in the ring and hits Bret with a chokeslam.  He covers, but Shawn is still tied up with Owen and Pillman.  Taker grabs Shawn and yells at him, which allows Bret to come from behind and roll him up.  That gets 2.  The two combatants go back outside and Bret is able to attack Taker’s back.  Inside, Bret begins to go through his Trademark 5.  Taker slows Bret’s momentum with a hotshot in the corner.  Bret tries for the Sharpshooter, but Taker grabs him by the throat.  Taker tries for another chokeslam, but Bret kicks him in the knee.  After connecting with the big clothesline, Taker whips Bret HARD into the turnbuckle.  That gets 2.  A big boot and a legdrop by Taker gives him another nearfall.  Bret tries resting on the apron, but Taker grabs him and chokeslams him back into the ring.  Taker goes for the ropewalk, but Bret crotches him.  Bret then goes up and connects with a superplex.  The Sharpshooter is applied, but Taker somehow manages to power out of it.  Taker goes for the Tombstone, but Bret escapes.  Bret now puts Taker in the Sharpshooter around the ringpost.  Again, Taker powers out of it and causes Bret to collide into Shawn.  With Shawn down, Bret grabs a chair and nails Taker.  Bret covers, but by the time Shawn begins to count Taker kicks out at 2.  As Bret kicks away on Taker, Shawn spots the chair still in the ring.  Shawn grabs the chair and questions Bret about it.  Bret spits in Shawn’s face.  Shawn swings the chair at Bret, but he ducks and Taker gets nailed instead.  Bret covers and Shawn must reluctantly count to 3.  New champion!

Postmatch: Shawn leaves in disgust as Bret celebrates amongst trash being thrown in the ring.

BL: Of all the battles between these two, this one was probably the best, but that’s not saying a whole lot.  Unlike most of their previous battles, which were dull face vs. face matchups, this one had a more interesting story and a lot more heat behind it.  The finish was probably the best given the circumstances,  since it avoided the stips that were made.  It took the title off of Taker, who was doing nothing with it, and most of all, it led to a heel turn by Shawn that changed the face of wrestling.  This match will be more remembered for what it spawned than what happened from bell to bell.  ** ½

Final Thoughts: This show had a lot of promise, mainly because it was the first show in a long time that had well crafted feuds established ahead of time.  Unfortunately, this show fails to deliver.  After the great beginning, it was one disappointment after another.  The only decent matches were the cage match and the IC title match.  You can see the cage match on the Bloodbath DVD and the IC title match is too depressing to enjoy.  Sadly, I can’t recommend this show.

Next time, everything comes in threes: 3 hours for a minor PPV…3 men fighting in one match…and probably 3 extra lame jokes told by me.

Until then, thanks for stopping by the OOld Tyme Rasslin Revue.