Your commentators are Jim Ross and Jerry “the King” Lawler

Chainz alongside them. J.R. explains that LOD got involved in DOA’s match against the Outlaws, so that’s why they’re fighting tonight. I believe both teams are still faces here. You never can tell with Russo though. We begin with all six guys brawling, but J.R. reminds us that this is only a tag match. Things settle down and Animal nails 8-Ball with a shouldertackle. Now Hawk and Skull get in there and slug it out. Skull hits Hawk with a sidewalk slam and gets 2. A follow-up piledriver is poorly executed and Hawk no-sells it. LOD are able to double-team Skull because the referee is tied up with a complaining 8-Ball. After two ugly slams, Hawk goes up top, but misses a clothesline. Chainz assaults Hawk on the floor while the referee isn’t looking. Droz comes over and attacks Chainz, but the referee breaks that up. Hawk clotheslines Skull, but can’t capitalize with a follow-up move. The DOA continue to bait the referee so that they can double- or triple-team Hawk. After what seems like an eternity, Hawk finally dodges a legdrop and tags in Animal. Animal comes in and is able to handle both Skull and 8-Ball. Skull gets set down with a back suplex by Animal. DOA do a phantom switch, but then instead of lying there to fake out Animal, 8-Ball just stands around looking lost. Finally, he goes by the ropes and Droz nails him. Animal then slams 8-Ball and covers him for the win. What a poorly executed finish.

Bottom Line: This was absolutely dreadful. First of all, if you’re going to do a face vs. face opener (which I wouldn’t recommend) at least make it between two strong faces. Aside from that problem, there were sloppy and/or botched moves left and right. The only thing they did well was punch and kick. And believe me, there was plenty of that. Throw in that messed up finish and you have one lousy opener. ½ *

- We get an “unscheduled” visit from The Rock. He takes the opportunity to rip on the people of Milwaukee. This draws out Farooq, who tries attacking him with a chair. The Rock is able to snatch it away, but when he swings at Farooq, he misses and the chair bounces off the ropes and into his face. Farooq, then, tries to piledrive The Rock on the chair, but he accidentally kicks the chair away, so his head only got driven into the mat. Nice idea here, poor execution. After Farooq leaves, the Nation and referees give The Rock a stretcher job.

- Michael Cole interviews “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and asks him some dumb questions like, “Do you think you’ll still be champion after tonight?” Now how do you expect him to answer “No, I really think I’m outmatched by my opponent. I might as well not even go out there.” Come on, get a clue Cole! I’d like to see where you got your journalism degree from.

As Jarrett stalls on the outside, Blackman gets things started by baseball sliding into him. After tossing Jarrett back inside, Blackman goes up top and connects with a missile dropkick. Jarrett finally halts his momentum when he plants Blackman’s face into the mat. A German suplex by Blackman gets a nearfall. Blackman sets Jarrett in a tree of woe and then chokes him. Tennessee Lee tries distracting Blackman, but his plan fails. A second attempt, however works as Jarrett is able to blindside Blackman. As Jarrett attacks Blackman on the floor, we see Al Snow and Head have joined the Spanish announce team and are dressed as Mexicans. Inside, Blackman returns the favor from earlier and plants Jarrett’s face into the mat. However, he misses a follow-up diving headbutt. A dropkick by Jarrett gets 2. As Jarrett and Blackman trade pinfalls, security escort Snow away from the announce table. Jarrett gets Blackman in a lengthy sleeper, but eventually he escapes and puts one on Jarrett. Jarrett breaks it quickly with a back suplex. Blackman tries diving on Jarrett from the apron, but Jarrett gets his knees up. A high kick by Blackman drops Jarrett and draws Tennessee Lee to the apron. Lee grabs Blackman, but Jarrett misses when he tries to hit him and almost collides with Lee. Jarrett tries using one of Blackman’s kendo sticks, but Blackman grabs it back and nails him with it. Blackman covers, but Jarrett gets his foot on the rope before 3. Blackman goes up top, but Lee nails him with his own kendo stick. Jarrett rolls over, covers and picks up the cheap victory.

BL: Man, this one caught me off guard. This was a lot better than what I feared and it was mostly thanks to Blackman busting out moves that I didn’t know he was capable of. If he would have had the opportunity to tighten up some of those moves and had better opponents, he could have been something. Then again, all the moves in the world couldn’t help you when you have a personality like his. ** ¼

Last week on RAW, Mero told Sable that if she could find some wrestler that could defeat him, he would release her from her personal services contract. However, if her chosen wrestler lost, she would have to leave the WWF forever. Sable comes out and says she can fight her own battles. Mero, seemingly touched by this, says that clearly she must really want out if she would be willing to do that. So being the bigger person, he decides to lay down for her. Of course the dumb ho buys his act and when she covers him, he quickly cradles her for 3. Sable leaves dejected as Mero horribly sings the “na na, hey hey, goodbye” song.

BL: Obviously this match was a DUD. But the whole angle gets a DUD too because clearly she wasn’t going to be leaving forever. This means you have to do some lame gimmick to get her back. They could have brought some new wrestler to fight and win Sable’s independence and have an insta-feud with Mero, but that would have been too easy.

- Backstage, Cole catches up with Sable who gives her goodbyes to the fans. If you want a fine example of some B-movie acting, just check out Sable here. My robo-sapien produces more realistic emotion.

- Dok Hendrix tries to get a word with The Rock backstage, but between him being hurt and the Nation fawning all over him, The Rock never answers any of Dok’s questions. Dok makes sure to establish however, that The Rock must still wrestle tonight per Commissioner Slaughter’s orders.

Umm…let’s all sing together…”One of these things is not like the other…” Evidently Bradshaw is in this match because Kaientai have attacked him on a couple of occasions. But that doesn’t explain why the bookers decided Bradshaw should be involved in a feud with them in the first place. The faces begin by clearing the ring of all three Kaientai members. Then Bradshaw press slams Taka onto the three of them on the floor. Match settles down with Taka and Funaki going at it. When Bradshaw is tagged in, no one from Kaientai will face him, so Bradshaw has to tag Taka back in. This then happens a second time. Taka comes in again, as Bradshaw is starting to get frustrated. A tornado DDT by Taka gets 2. On the floor, Taka hits Funaki with an Asai moonsault and nearly cracks his head on the guardrail in the process. Togo hits Taka with a facebuster to finally put Kaientai on the offensive. Taka plays Licky Molton as Kaientai attack him with a bevy of nice moves. Big surprise…Lawler is ignoring the action in the ring to talk about Sable on the Superstar Line. A powerslam by Togo gets a nearfall. After a tandem DDT on Taka, Bradshaw comes in to break up the pin. Kaientai do a very cool Boston Crab into Camel Clutch and cap it off with a dropkick to the face. Taka wards off a double-team attack and then makes the hot tag. Bradshaw comes in and it’s boots all around. It’s all Bradshaw until Togo lowblows him. Then two Kaientai members hold him so the third can hop on his back and pose. Bradshaw shrugs them all off and then goes back to kicking their ass. Taka gets tagged back in and hits Togo with the Michinoku Driver. He covers, but Kaientai make the save. Everyone is in now as Teioh hits Taka with a chokeslam. That is followed up with a senton bomb by Togo. Bradshaw is still preoccupied, so Togo is able to cover and pick up the victory.

BL: I really wish I knew what the purpose of this match was. If it’s to push Kaientai, why involve Bradshaw in the match? If it’s to get over Bradshaw, shouldn’t he be fighting guys his own size? If it’s to promote Taka…well, it can’t be that since he lost. I’m just confused. Confusion aside, there were plenty of cool spots to make this watchable. ** ¾

- In an unintentionally funny spot, we see a shot of Sable, still in her wrestling gear, carrying her luggage and walking out of the arena. I mean, for goodness sake, take a shower and change before leaving in utter humiliation.

Farooq comes out to mostly silence with a smattering of boos. Not exactly what you want for a face who’s the #1 contender for the Intercontinental title. Howard Finkel announces The Rock, but no one shows. A second announcing also yields no results. Commissioner Slaughter comes out and gives The Rock a 10 count to get out to the ring. At 2, The Rock finally comes out wearing a neck brace. Farooq meets him in the aisle and begins his attack. In the ring, Farooq delivers a couple of clotheslines and receives no response from the crowd. The Rock catches Farooq with his head down and kicks him. The People’s Elbow actually gets a pretty favorable response, but only a 2 count. A slam and a headbutt by Farooq gives him a nearfall. The Rock comes right back with a DDT. After a spinebuster by Farooq, he looks like he wants to cover The Rock, but then sorta just falls on him. Then, after a pause, he shifts The Rock and covers. The referee counts 3, but The Rock’s foot was on the rope at 2. No bell rings and the referee tells Farooq that it doesn’t count because The Rock’s foot was on the ropes. Then The Rock rolls Farooq up and puts his feet on the ropes. The referee counts 3 and this one is going to count.

Postmatch: Farooq delivers two piledrivers to The Rock, which draws out the Nation. They attack Farooq until DX chases them away. DX’s appearance drew the first big response from the crowd since before the match began.

BL: My goodness, this was really bad. I haven’t seen the crowd shit on a match this badly in a long time. In theory the storyline is sound; former group leader seeking revenge on new group leader. It’s just too bad no one was taking what Farooq was serving. This was hovering around DUDville until the horribly botched ending. - *

Gee, I wonder who will win this match? This is Vader’s revenge match after Kane bashed his face in with a wrench back at No Way Out. A slugfest breaks out, which Kane wins. A bodyblock by Vader knocks down Kane. Vader tries to suplex Kane, but he blocks it and delivers one of his own. After slamming Vader, Kane goes up top and connects with a clothesline. From here, we get a whole bunch of punches, kicks and chokes. After being chokeslammed, Vader rolls to the outside. When Kane goes out to get him, Vader attacks him with a wrench. Back inside, Vader connects with an avalanche and a clothesline. Vader then stupidly follows it up with a moonsault, which of course misses. Kane picks up Vader, tombstones him and that’s all she wrote.

Postmatch: Kane pulls off Vader’s mask and gasp, he looks the same as he always does without his mask. Paul Bearer then puts the mask on and proclaims, “It’s Paul Bearer time”. Then, we get a hilarious moment when Michael Cole conducts a postmatch interview with Vader and Vader calls himself, ‘a big fat piece of shit’. Nothing I can say will be any funnier than that line right there.

BL: The line may have been funny, but there was nothing funny or entertaining about the match. This was a dull, listless affair from two big guys. This should have been the match to win Vader’s heat back, but the mask stipulation ruined any chance of that. It was apparent by their response (or lack thereof) that the crowd realized it too. At least they kept it short. *

- Now we kill some time and my interest by having Michael Cole cart out, I mean honor, two Milwaukee wrestling legends, Mad Dog Vachon and The Crusher. Then, because they can’t ever do anything classy, they have Lawler, a real spring chicken himself, come into the ring and verbally berate the two because they’re so old. The segment ends with The Crusher getting the better of Lawler and using Vachon’s prosthetic leg to do it. Thank goodness they now hold Hall of Fame ceremonies at a separate event.

Wrestling for DX is HHH, Road Dogg, and Billy Gunn. For the Nation, it’s D’Lo Brown, Kama Mustafa and Owen Hart. Yes, the man so white that he makes Bill Gates look like a brother, joined the Nation. Thanks Vinny Ru, keep up the good work. Road Dogg and D’Lo kick things off and it’s D’Lo who gets the initial advantage. We get frequent tags early on so everyone gets some playing time. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by HHH puts Owen in trouble. A mule kick by Owen allows him to tag out. Badd Ass gets trapped in the heel corner and they make him pay. However, Badd Ass comes right back with a slingshot to D’Lo. Now DX returns the favor by trapping D’Lo in their corner. A kneedrop by HHH gets a nearfall on D’Lo. D’Lo boots a charging Road Dogg, which allows him to finally tag out. Kama cuts the ring in half to make Road Dogg the designated degenerate-in-peril. Owen gets a nearfall on Road Dogg with a piledriver. As D’Lo locks Road Dogg in a resthold, I spot a ring attendant hand Badd Ass a water bottle. Two things about that: 1) Billy has barely been in the match, but he must already be blown up to need the water and 2) how come he gets that kind of service? Where does he think he is? A Holiday Inn? D’Lo connects with a powerbomb, but opts to jaw at fans instead of covering. Road Dogg catches Owen with a crossbody, but can’t follow up on it. A Sharpshooter attempt by Owen is thwarted by HHH. D’Lo nails Road Dogg with a moonsault, but HHH breaks up the pin. When D’Lo tries for a legdrop from the second rope, Road Dogg is able to roll out of the way. Badd Ass receives the hot tag and takes on all Nation members. All six men are in now and in the middle of it, Badd Ass connects with the Rocker Dropper on D’Lo. While the referee is tied up with Chyna and Mark Henry on the floor, HHH and Badd Ass nail D’Lo with a spike piledriver on one of the tag belts. Owen, however, comes in and hits HHH. Then he Pedigrees HHH on that same belt. Everyone else continues to brawl, so Owen is able to get the pinfall.

BL: A pretty standard tag match here. Everyone seemed to be going through the motions rather than putting any effort into anything. I think had the crowd not had to endure an hour of crap, they would have been into this more. It was nice to see Owen finally get a pinfall on HHH. It’s just too bad that his joining the Nation ruined any chances of having it mean anything. **

- The video package for the main event shows how this storyline has somehow gotten better from the previous month. We get great moments, such as Vince announcing himself as the referee, Gerald Brisco as the timekeeper and Pat Patterson as the ring announcer. Then, there is the time when Vince dressed in a Stone Cold mask, attacked Austin with a chair and then bragged about it the following week. This led to Austin having Vince arrested (back when wrestlers getting arrested was still novel and cool) for assault. Finally, we see Vince, in order to be released, agree that someone could be ringside to make sure Vince calls a fair match. If you weren’t into this whole storyline, you weren’t a wrestling fan.

- Backstage, Dok gets Vince’s final thoughts before the match. Vince makes two very deliberate comments: 1) If Austin assaults him in anyway, he’ll be stripped of the title and 2) it will be by Vince’s hand alone that marks the end of the match. Hmmm…I wonder if those issues will be brought up at all during the match.

Before the match begins, we get some more classic moments as Vince, Brisco, Patterson and Dude all get elaborate, over-the top ring entrances, which are all read off notecards. Before the match can begin, the Undertaker comes out and I guess he’ll be playing the role of volunteer to make sure Vince stays fair. Austin and Dude lockup and back into a corner. When Vince tries to break it up, Austin flips him off. A knockdown by Dude leads to a cover and a fast 2 count by Vince. Crowd breaks out in a “Vince is gay” chant, which I’m sure caused Patterson’s ears to perk up. A kick by Austin knocks out Dude’s fake teeth that he was wearing as part of his new corporate look. Austin then stomps on the teeth. This prompts Lawler to say, “Dude Love has lost his smile”. Ha! I love it! Austin connects with the Lou Thesz Press and then knocks Dude outside. On the floor, Dude whips Austin into the steps. Back inside, Austin stops Dude’s momentum with a swinging neckbreaker. After being whipped to the corner, Dude dodges Austin and then applies the Mandible Claw. Austin breaks it by heaving over the top rope. Dude manages to do a hangman in the process. As the two brawl on the floor, Patterson gives us a ‘reminder’ that this is a No Disqualification match. To which J.R. responds, “since when?” Dude chokes Austin with a microphone cable, but then Austin whips Dude into Brisco at the timekeepers table. Then, in one of the sickest things I have ever seen, Austin clotheslines Dude as he was sitting on the guardrail and Dude’s head cracks into the cement floor. Back in the ring, Dude finally catches a breather when Austin misses a legdrop. As the brawl now heads down the aisle, Patterson gives us another ‘reminder’ that falls count anywhere. This is followed by Dude getting a couple of nearfalls in the aisle. They are now by the entrance, which is decorated with a bunch of junk cars supplied by Brisco Brothers Body Shop ((813)-879-4421). Dude backdrops Austin onto one of the cars and Austin’s foot smashes the windshield. Now Austin hotshots Dude onto another car. That gets 2. Austin tries for a Stunner on top of a car, but Dude shoves him off and Austin goes sliding off the hood of another car and onto the ground. A sunset flip by Dude gets 2. We see Austin has been busted open as Dude backdrops him onto the floor. Vince grows increasingly frustrated with each nearfall. From the hood of a car, Dude goes for an elbow but comes up empty. The fight finally comes back into the ring and as Austin goes off the ropes, Patterson trips him. Things slow down as Dude wears out Austin with a resthold. Patterson hands Dude a chair, which he uses on Austin a couple of times. Dude hits Austin with a double-arm DDT on the chair, but Austin still kicks out at 2. Charging with the chair, Dude gets it booted right into his face by Austin. An unintentionally funny moment as Austin grabs the chair, hits the ropes with it and accidentally has it bounce back in his face. He recovers and blasts Dude in the head with it. Austin covers, but Vince just stands there in defiance. As Austin argues with Vince, Dude tries nailing him with the chair, but accidentally blasts Vince with it instead. Austin stunners Dude and covers. A second referee comes out, but Patterson pulls him out of the ring and decks him. Dude locks the Mandible Claw on Austin and Patterson tries to count Austin’s shoulders down. But, Taker grabs him and chokeslams him through the announce table. Brisco tries to count the pin, but Taker grabs him and puts him through the Spanish announce table. The crowd is absolutely losing it by this point. Austin stunners Dude again, drags Vince over and uses his hand to count 1, 2, 3. Austin flips off a knocked out Vince and celebrates an unbelievable victory.

BL: What…a…match! I am thoroughly exhausted after watching this and that’s a good thing. This is just a perfect example of wrestling and storytelling coming together perfectly. All of the elements were here for an electric atmosphere. This is one of my all-time favorite matches alongside Bret/Lawler from Summerslam ’93. This is a must-see for everyone. *****

Final Thoughts: All I have to say is thank goodness for the main event. In what would be a theme for 1998, the main event always provided something entertaining for the audience. And this one went one step further by providing great wrestling to go along with the entertainment. There’s no need to see anything else on this show, so just watch it for the main event if you can’t find the match elsewhere.

Next time…what happens when a wrestler falls from a cage and everyone is there to hear it?